- I’m seven weeks post op tomorrow (tummy tuck and arm lift). Nothing really new to talk about on that front. Yes, I still have my cursed drains. I saw the doctor yesterday for a regular followup and he said they remove them at 8 weeks. The nurse replied with “not when they’re at 40!” and he didn’t reply. So he scheduled to see me in 2 weeks. That’ll be almost 9 weeks post op. I have faith that he’ll take them out at that appointment no matter what. I honestly think at this point, maybe the drains themselves are making the wound not heal up faster. They were on a steady decline to 35/40 until January started. They’ve not moved since (except one day number 2 shot up but it was just that once). So I’m scared they’ll have to drain fluid with a needle if they remove them, but I also haven’t been laid since NOVEMBER.
- At least he took off my 10lb lift limit. I can pick up things now! Rather than stare sadly at them and ask someone else to do it.
- Mr C’s birthday was yesterday! The big 40! I made him the lemon tart (recipe here) that he loves because he got chocolate mousse for Christmas. I made it all — the giant pain in the ass. I used M’s tip to mix the crust pastry in the food processor rather than by hand — GENIUS. I juiced all the lemons, I zested, I custard-ed. I clean up all the dishes and then went to put the beautiful tart in the fridge and saw one and a half sticks of butter on the counter. Fuck fuck fuck. I had to dump out all the custard, put it back over the heat and dissolve all the butter then pour it back in. It doesn’t seem to have suffered for it but damn. Close one. I was so pleased with myself before I saw that butter too.
Tag: some things
Some Things 12/17
1) My poor sweet kitty, Jack, has a cold. Yesterday, bless him, he was a mess. Sneezing and mouth breathing with watery eyes. K was going to help me take him to the vet today but he’s doing much better. He woke up when I did and went straight to his food bowl. He ate a good bit and meowed (you can tell he sounds congested) and harassed me and purred for pets. So he’s feeling much better. I’m so glad.
3) I hear Mr C whistling the Top Gun theme song. I guess Christmas music is getting old. At least he’s happy. He only whistles when he’s happy.
2) My surgery recovery is well. I had two breakdowns yesterday. One, the physical. I noticed leakage from my tummy tuck incision. Oh no. I freaked out. I sent pictures. I talked to the doctor. It’s dead skin and a popped stitch. It might turn into a gross wound that takes a while to heal. But it’s normal. Just put some ointment and a bandage on it. EWWW. Dammit.
The second breakdown was mental. Combine me worried about my precious being sick with a OPEN WOUND – Panic. I had a panic attack. I laid down for bed (on the couch) at 7:30 pm. I was so upset with myself. “What have I done!?” And freaking out — I did everything right! Tons of protein, being careful, watched all the videos, got all the supplies, followed all the directions — why me boo hoo.
Riding High, Playing Hooky from Work
Mr C is taking the day off work. I had such a good pre-op appointment yesterday that has left me in a great mood. It’s also my last two weeks on my current job. So fuck it, I’m not going in either! Hooky day! Of course I still had to get up since my cat as screaming at me. I’ll make that up with a nap later.
I just called and got my medical equipment rental set up. I’m renting a lift chair and a rollator for my tummy tuck and arm lift. I read that you’ll really want a walker to get around for the first week or two since you’ll be hunched over. So I figured a rollator will give me the walker plus a place to sit. This will help in the kitchen or in the downstairs bathroom when I’m brushing my teeth and stuff. And the lift chair will be a life saver. I’ll be sleeping in it and it’ll make getting up less of an ordeal for those helping me. There was concern on how my helpers would help me up since they can’t really pull on my arms. K to the rescue with her knowledge of the lift chair. Apparently, it’s a recliner that helps you stand up. And I can just rent these things. Awesome! So cross that off the list. Only 9:30am and getting shit done.
This weekend is HALLOWEEN! My favorite! I’ll be doing crossfit tonight and there’s a Halloween party at 6:00. Well, I’m working out at 5:00, so I know I’ll be pressured to stay. Might as well prepare. So I’m taking a meat and cheese tray and my Mario costume to change into after the workout. Should be fun! And the over-sized Mario hat will cover my hot mess of sweaty hair. Win!
Long Halloween Weekend! Woot woot!
Busy Busy Busy
The end of this month is stacked! I hate having plans.
This past week was very stressful. I’ve been trying to get everything settled for the new job — and it is! I formally turned in my two-weeks notice on Friday. Mr C was supposed to travel so I took him to get a rental car on my way to work. They didn’t HAVE ANY and his reservation wasn’t for another two hours so he had to call me back to get him. Turns out his boss just waiting until the negative minute to tell him he no longer needed to go. Thanks, boss! My in-laws visited. It was moms first birthday after her death. And I had legal depositions.
Next week, Mr C really will be on travel — it’s a family vacation I opted out of. He leaves today. I’ve got two doctors appointments. One of those being with the plastic surgeon. And our 9 year anniversary is Wednesday. Then it’s Halloween weekend.
Mom’s birthday was pretty upsetting for most of the week. However, my sister-in-law and my brother met me halfway between our cities for lunch. We ate at an adorable cafe. And it was so funny that we all ended up getting hamburger steak. Funny because whenever Mr C was gone, shed cook me my favorite meals that Mr C doesn’t care for. Of course one of those was hamburger steak! So it was really great getting to see my brother and marking the day in remembrance of her. I was really worried about letting it just skirt by and having to entertain my in-laws. But lunch let us celebrate her and tie a bow on it so I could close out that part of the day and embrace the in-laws.
My legal deposition was Thursday. I had in office prep with the Lawyer on Monday, and again over the phone on Wednesday. It was extremely stressful. The defense is going to try to paint me as a person with mental illness faking a condition and trying to cash out. Not that the jury knows that even if I win the maximum we can sue for, I’ll only see, maybe 15k. For a cracked skull, losing a job, taking a huge set back in my career, missing months of work, and being stuck with fucking migraines I have two different medications for. Lord knows I need more medication. And lets not forget the family drama of missing the holidays for 2019 and 2020. After almost 3 hours, I felt like it went probably badly but they lawyer said I did great. Honestly, there were so many questions, I don’t even remember them.
So now the lawyer says it depends on my neurologist’s deposition this coming week. Will he paint me as someone with mental illness, or as someone with a real condition?
Cheers to my last two weeks on the job! New job start date is November 8th đ
Some Things 9/23
1) Itâs hard having friends at work. Are they asking why youâve been a funk the past few days because they care or because youâre not getting enough shit done? I honestly donât know and that bothers me.Â
2) This could be fixed by getting another job. This would also fix the suffering working with DeBitch has brought into my life. Itâs hard working with someone who hates your guts. Real hard. So I applied for a new job today. They reached out to me so, I just replied. Iâm also gonna submit my transition team paperwork that was emailed to me today as well (to transfer to a new contract with my current company). Maybe both of these coming to my email at the same time is a sign â move on.
3) Talked to my lawyer today â terrible news. Weâre not going to get much money at all out of this lawsuit. We will come out making just a little over the 7k they offered to settle with me. But you know what? Itâs gonna cost those fuckers like 200k for me to get it so SUCK IT BITCHES. Good thing Mr C and I werenât counting on making money back.
I had secretly hoped it would cover my plastic surgery plus a sweet tattoo, but alas â it will not even cover one of the surgeries. *sigh* (I just want you to know, I literally sighed heavily as I typed the word âsighâ)
4) Some good news? Well, I kicked ass at Crossfit on Tuesday. I JUMP ROPED. Oh it sound so small and simple but is it? Iâm 37, I canât even remember ever jump roping and I certainly couldnât do it 2 months ago. But I can now, bitches! I also did my knee tucks hanging from the pull up bar rather than laying on the floor. Awww yeah. Gains bitches!
Some Things 9/19
1) Today was my twentieth crossfit workout (not including the four on-boarding classes). I have a baby bicep. I also think I could possibly jump rope. I can hop now which is better than I could before! I can lift weights, I can plank, I can squat, and I can sweat. I can sweat a lot. The other day, a fellow crossfitter though I had poured water on myself. Yeah, no that’s just sweat.
2) I have watched way too many plastic surgery “journeys” on youtube. Like a lot. Too many. I’m obsessed with knowing everything and now I feel like I know too much. In fact, now I have a bazillion questions for the doctor. I’m worried about making Christmas and my court date. I’m worried I’ll be bloated and swollen for a year. I’m getting a lot of anxiety.
Don’t worry, I’m not thinking of backing out. Nope. Imagine that crossfit hopping with my tummy. I have a sport bra for the boobs, but nothings holding that loose baggy stomach in place while I jump up and down. It hurts and I’m sure its unattractive. Thank you, no mirror rule.
I did manage to get another consultation with the doctor. But not until the end of October. Over a month away. But I feel like I want to really be comfortable with him before we proceed. And I have questions. He lists a lot of liposuction — won’t all that lipo compromise the blood supply to the new “flap”? And how much improvement are we really gonna see? Also, do I need a Fleur De Lei as opposed to the regular we talked about? I don’t want a vertical scar, but I think I may need one. Scars are not my primary concern. I’m not looking to wear a two piece bathing suit here. And when can I get back to working out? Most people say a little less than 2 months — but they’re wearing their compression garments and swelling up at 6 months and longer — so ???
3) My precious Jack had his vet visit a little over a week ago. I keep hoping with every visit that his levels will improve, but realistically, I know they won’t. Getting them to hold steady is the best we can hope for. His levels did get slightly worse — but not enough to worry the doctor. She says he may find a new “zone” and stay there. He hasn’t lost any weight so that’s excellent but I still with he’d eat more. I worry about him. I wish I could get him to eat more and drink more. But he”s not LOSING weight which is key.
Some Things 9/9
1) Yesterday, I tried a Carolina Reaper flavored Jelly Belly (Link to Amazon for M). It was surprisingly delicious. It was just sweet jelly bean flavored with a lot of heat. Not as bad as a real pepper. It doesn’t have the digestive issues. Also, since I never have real sugar, it tasted extremely sweet to me. (A bag had 49 carbs, yes, but that’s still only like 1 per bean, so I was cool). I didn’t try the other flavors because of the carbs and the pack not being mine so I was just like “give me the hottest one.” There was a brief moment when the heat started to creep down my throat where I wanted to cough (I didn’t have anything to drink), but I made it. I don’t think it’s as hot as the real thing. But they’re fun. Especially because some people are total pussies.
2) Can you believe it’s September of 2021? Almost 2022 over here! I’m still stuck back in 2020.
3) My Jack Jack has a vet visit tomorrow. Wish us luck.
4) I screwed up and made pretty good friends with K3. I’ve known she was gonna move away as soon as she got a job in the place she wants so I did not intend to. But we’ve been working out twice a week, taking work breaks to walk around the building, and she’s become my pool buddy too. DAMMIT. Now she might have that job offer. I’m really really bummed about this. THIS is why I didn’t want to become friends. ARG! I’m losing my buddy đ
Some Things 8/15
1) Yesterday I’m chillin’ in my pool with K3. I’m floating in an egg plant all nice and comfy and then… a motherfucking SNAKE brushed up against my arm! YES! A SNAKE! It was a tiny baby snake. Thankfully, nonpoisonous. I killed that motherfucker with a machete. Not cool, nature, not cool. There was also a tick and a dead mole in the pool. What the fuck? It’s a square of concrete filled with salt water. It’s not a river! Leave my shit alone! I hate nature. IT TOUCHED ME. Ugh. Now I’m gonna be super paranoid about checking every inch of the pool before I get in.
2) Cross fit continues. This week has been a real emotional rollercoaster for me. I’m not 100% sure why, it’s not my monthly cycle or anything. I’ve been in crossfit for a month this week. I’ve done 6 regular classes plus the 4 onboarding classes. But for some reason, Wednesday got to me. After Wednesdays work out I just felt pathetic. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I wanted to quit. It was runs and barbells and I can’t do the runs (I’m subbing with bike) and I couldn’t get the damn push jerks right to save my life. All while I’m using the training bar and 2.5lb weights and some of these other bitches are slinging like 200lbs! And here I can’t do ANY OF IT. I just felt like I was setting myself up to be humiliated.
I’m working out surrounded by the fittest of the fit, and here my fat ass is in their space. They’re the sharks and I’m in their ocean. I really just felt humiliated and in deep fear of being mocked. I’ve been bullied a lot in my life. I’ve had people make rude comments about my weight even as an adult (down over 100lbs, now though!). So I actually cried about it. And with my monthly subscription coming up this week — I’d have quit if it weren’t for K2 and K3. I have two people supporting me and willing to make sure I never have to work out by myself. I’m blessed to be able to afford this expensive ass gym. I can’t squander this opportunity.
Friday’s workout was better. K3 is super supportive and motivated. She also somehow enjoys working out so she has a great energy. So we finished 3 team rounds of the impossible. I did over 30 burpees! Plus 26lb hang cleans and rowing. Today we did more barbells (hang snatches) and pull ups (I sub ring rows) with K2. So I’m still totally failing at the bar LOL — I just can’t master the moves. I’m thinking so hard about all the little specifics that make up the move that I can’t do it. I’m in my head too much and can’t do the move fast enough to get it all timed right. But I looked up youtube videos beforehand to try and get it worked out. So I’m getting better.
Also one of the youtube videos broke down crossfit as a whole a little bit. They acknowledged how hard it is to be in there with all these athletes slinging mega weights. They discussed how it’s easier to go to a normal gym and feel less judged. But then he discussed how it’s better to learn form these people correctly slinging all that weight so they can teach you how to get there. And to take advantage of your coaches who want to help you get there too. So I asked lot of questions tonight. And I tried to mingle a little more. I even reminded my onboarding coach to put up my intro picture on the website so I can get to know people more. Here’s to another month starting this week! I’ve got my ripstop cream and I’m sitting here recovering with my compression socks on and a compression knee sleeve on my terrible knee and some turkey meatballs. Thanks to my chickas K2 and K3 who have no idea how much they mean to me right this second in my life. I’m so thankful.
3) We spread moms ashes. Part one. She wanted to be spread at the beach and in the mountains. Well, the first week of August is my families yearly vacation to Florida. We’ve got a time share and we’ve done it every year since I was a baby. (Except that now we alternate our vacations each year with my family vs Mr C’s family trip). Florida was moms thing. She loved it. It was her place. She could just sit on the beach all day with her toes in the waves. She slept with the balcony door cracked so she could listen to the waves. She had coffee on the balcony with the sunrise over the ocean.
Being down there without her was beyond difficult. But we did good and we spread her ashes at sunrise. We went to her (well, the whole family’s) favorite breakfast spot and crossed over the a public beach area. With the smell of her favorite apple fritters in the air and the colors of an ocean sunrise, we threw flowers in the water. I hope you loved it, momma. I miss you so so much. *wipes away tear*
Some Things 06/24
1) Why does Jello come in such small containers. This small 4ish ounce thing of Jello is ten calories. Who is just going to eat one of these? Can I get a BOWL of Jello? I’m a fucking adult here. And put some whipped cream on there.
2) I ordered a temporary tattoo of my goomba to try it out. They only do black and white and I’d get color — but I can wear it for a week or two and see how I like it. It came from Ink Box (Clicky). A work buddy has been using it to perfect the design and placement of her next tattoo. They last a week or two and you can do custom designs. So I got a small 8-bit Goomba to try out. Who knows, maybe I’ll get it for my Bday.
3) We’re going River Tubing! I’m getting a group together to go in late July. I’m so excited about it! I just bought two river rafts for it. We’re gonna drift down the river at a campground then bus back and grill some burgers — then maybe drift down the river again. I’ve wanted to go tubing for so long! K asked me about my sudden interest ’cause I never mentioned it before. But yall, tubing is perfect for me. It’s an outdoor activity that involves no effort. I just lay in a swim ring and flow with the current. It’s basically like a live lazy river. With coolers of snacks and your friends are literally tied to you. Plus we eat burgers at the end. It sounds AMAZING.
Also props to Aunt L. She has some amazing river tubes. They’re retail $60. She sent me a picture of a local store flyer that had them for $20. But local to HER not me. Amazon had the same ones for $40. So I searched the internet and found out Academy had them this week in their flyer for $20! The really good ones I’ve laid around in at the lake at her house! So I bought two, baby! And they had $10 off a purchase of $50 so I got a free 80lbs of salt for my pool. WINNING. Picked them up with curbside pickup today after work. This is gonna be so much fun!
Some Things 5/11
1) I painted my pool chairs “Key Lime.” It was like living in a Rust-Oleum commercial! Look at this before and after. The chairs were originally bright green when I bought them. However, five summers have faded them to nothing. Note the small green area on the unpainted chair. That’s because they always have pillows in them so the sun didn’t bleach there. It took two coats — so three and a half cans of paint = approximately $20.00. It’s nice to have revived the old ones rather than buy new ones. Even if they are dirt cheap, it’s still nice to have put in a little effort to revive something I already had. They REALLY pop against the dark fence too! K and I will be sitting in them on the tanning ledge soon.
2) I counted ninety three (93!) bats leaving the bat house on Saturday. Ninety Three! My little bat army. Go forth and murder all the mosquitos! Muah ha ha ha…
3) Mr C and I got our second dose of the Covid-19 vaccine Friday! I couldn’t sleep and had a headache. Poor Mr C had a fever and felt like absolute shit. But here’s to having pool days with our fellow vaccinated friends this summer! *cheers*