Curiosities - Cursing Cats and Other Curiosities

Crochet Check-In

Posted on January 21, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

Last time I checked in with my new crochet hobby, I had made the woobles bat and penguin and started the blanket that never ends. So let’s check in. I gave everyone a fuck ton of Woobles for Christmas. This included my besties K and K2. I figured K is killer at crafts, so she’d be good with an intermediate kit — also it was a purple dragon and what is more K than that? So, I was wrong. The dragon is kinda hard. And the tutorials assume you know the basics. So fun twist, I ordered a bunch of easy yarn and now all three of us are going through the Penguin tutorial together. I think K has finished her potato and K2 and I are about to start closing ours up. K has the itch though and she sent us a text tonight with her progress on the dragon.

So what have I made? Well, I got a Michael’s gift card for Christmas. So I was like yeah, I’m making a big ass dragon. I got the code for the tutorial from K. We went to Michael’s and I picked up some velvet yarn. I dont love it itself — but the colors were just spectacular. I wont work with it again because it is MESSY A F. It’s also overly heavy and I actually like the feel of the baby blanket yarn better. But I made the dragon! I took three skeins of dark purple and one of gold. Here he is:

I like working with the bigger yarns way better than the tiny stuff. It’s fun seeing your project build faster. Also the fuzzy yarn is so forgiving in how visible the stitches are. This one was a PAIN though. I am not intermediate as much as I want to tell myself I am. And this one just had so many steps. So many. And I ran out of yarn (originally only bought two skeins of purple) and had to wait for more to come in the mail because no local Michaels had it in stock. Even though the one across town told me they did and I drove all the way over there — they couldn’t find it. Fuck that Michaels. FUCK THEM.

Anyway, damn it was a lot of steps. I got through about 8ish rows before I realized that the recommended hook size of 19 was far too big. So I went back and got a size 10 hook. Then frogged it and started over, Here’s an action shot:

So I felt so accomplished when I finished the body and head. I figured I was close to my dragon! I added the ears which are freaking adorable. I added horns. I took a break. Then I added a tail. But fuck — I sewed that shit on so damn crooked. But it was on there now. So I just rolled with it, like his tail is swooping. It looks better this way — totally my end goal all along. I added the spikes but they just looked so wrong. So I frogged them and redid them 3 times before deciding that’s just how they looked. Then I had to wait on my mail ordered yarn.

In the mean time, I added wire to the spikes. This velvet yarn is heavy so they weren’t standing up by themselves very well. When the third purple skein got here, I could do my wings! I got those done, Wired up the top ridge and jammed those babies in. The great news was that I had enough gold and purple left to wrap all the edges that had wire so it’s completely hidden. It looks fucking AMAZING! I’m so proud of my dragon! I had to rearrange my office shelves to accommodate him.

I thought his colors were very regal, but K2 can’t see anything but peanut butter and jelly. So his name is Lord Concord (like grape jelly).

So did I finish my Christmas blanket? Oh fuck no. I did travel with it over Christmas and worked on it the entire travel time and on and off while I was at my in-laws. Flying is much more pleasant when focusing on a craft. Really. And even the flight attendants were interested in what I was making. See: Here’s my bald ass crocheting at the airport on a layover:

So this blanket is going to take fucking forever. I’m going to TRY to budget time so that it’s done for next Christmas but that might even be tight. It’s supposed to be six rows of 15 repeats. That should be a 60″ x 40″ blanket. I was working on the 12th repeat this weekend and measured… I’m at 80″. Fuck.

So I wrapped up my 12th repeat and started the second strip. But my strips are also barely over 5 inches wide so 6 would only give me a 30″ blanket. Ugh. So I’m looking at at least 8 strips. Yes, I ordered more yarn so I should have enough. This blanket will never end. I’ve decided I will try to hold to a rough schedule of how much I need to have done each month or quarter or so and sprinkle in projects I’m more excited about. Having a row finished though is very exciting!

It’s so soft. Also, it’s funny to see my evolution into settling in to being comfortable with this yarn. My first three color rows were actually so bad that I cut them off and redid them. It had to be done. Then at maybe the 3rd repeat, I decided to hold the yarn with my fingers and crochet super slow so it wouldn’t be stretching and wiggling all over the place (it’s super thin and moves like crazy). You can really see where the row gets really thin there because my stitches were too tight. Then I got better and settled into a good rhythm. I’m doing really well now with my tension. I’m using a tension regulator that I made though. Got the tutorial off Youtube. You can actually see it on my finger in the airport photo — it’s a white crocheted ring.

I’m going to leave the rest of the imperfections of row one in there. It’s my first big project so it’s a good showing of how I evolved. I’m going to try to keep them in order when I stitch it all together.

So next up: I have the Woobles kit for the pig — plus the tiny wings kit so I can make him a pig with wings! I can’t wait to finish up the penguin I’m doing with K and K2. I’m going to make him a tiny bowler hat and pair him with the other penguin with the flying ace hat — they’re going to be Wilbur and Orville! I also bought a pattern for Lumalee and some Mario mushrooms off Etsy. I want to make it in the baby yarn like the grey bat, but I can only find very muted colors for baby blankets. So I’m waiting until I find a good yarn to buy for that.

Gingerbread with K2!

Posted on December 17, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

Today was a great day! This morning, I wrapped Christmas presents. Then this evening K2 came over to do gingerbread houses! We baked cookies, and decorated gingerbread houses while watching three cheesy Christmas movies on Netflix.

My family usually does a gingerbread party every year. This year there’s all sorts of drama in my family. I set a rock hard boundary, and well, might have been disowned? I don’t know. It’s for the best. It needed to be done. I want to talk to my SIL and see what everyone’s saying but NO — the point was to get OUT. So I must resist. But I still wanted to do gingerbread. K2 to the rescue!

We decided to get house kits. I got the Gingerbread Mansion from Target for $20. Cookies were required. I made keto cookies for me. They melted into a pan of solid raw cookie dough. I also made chocolate chip for K2 and Husband. Those worked out. We decided to put on a Christmas movie. So We set up in the living room so we could watch the movie while we worked!

Yep, I’m in my PJs. I didn’t get dressed today. I put out a plastic table cloth for easy clean up and K2 queued up the movies.

The first movie was Lindsey Lohan. She was a rich spoiled chick. Then she went skiing with her shallow finance and fell off the mountain. She got amnesia and ended up in a tiny town. She ended up being taken in to stay at the inn owned by a single dad who was about to lose everything. Yep, she fell in love. So did he. Go figure.

Then there was the Christmas Bitch movie. The lead guy was not attractive so it was kinda weird. They had a great relationship until Christmas. She HATES Christmas and he’s obsessed with Christmas. He believes Santa is real. He plans a week of activities for her and her daughter — oh yeah, single parent again. Bitch couldn’t even make it a week. She got into a big hissy fit and dumped him over loving Christmas. Like, WTF? You can’t let him have a damn week of holiday cheer? They’ve been together for months but fuck that! They ended up staying together even though they still disagree on if Santa is real. So ummmm… That one sucked.

Both of the previous movies with the single parents, the kid’s Christmas wish to Santa was for them to get together. Yall stay away from single parents during Christmas! Don’t fall for it!

Third movies a charm! Apparently, she had seen that one before. It was great! A journalist who writes a column about her terrible dating life falls in love with an online match. She hasn’t met him, but after two weeks she’s in love and she flies in to surprise him and meet him. Oh no, he used a fake picture! He’s just an asian guy! Boooooo! But she goes to the bar and see his friend, the picture he used. He promises to help her get with the hot guy if she pretends to be his girlfriend for the holiday because his family is so happy for him. She has nothing in common with the cute guy, but lies about everything anyway. Also, lets ignore that she fell in love with the guy over the phone and he’s still that guy, just asian? Which is bad? She comes around in the end and realizes that she loves him. It sounds stupid but it was actually a GREAT movie. It was hilarious. Let’s ignore how lame she was with the “weird” and quirky opinions that Die Hard is a Christmas movie (really, that whole thing is so old — everyone knows about this). Also, her favorite book was Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends.” WHAT? He’s heard of it? No way! One of the most famous children’s poetry book to exist? CRAZY! But no no no, it was still a good movie. The writers just really slacked off there.

K2 is like my favorite person to watch moves with. So we watched movies and glued candy to gingerbread. Yes glued. This aint Martha Stewart. No ones eating these things. Hot glue it together. Why yall making life difficult?

This is only the second gingerbread house she’s ever made but she did damn good. Like there was so much candy on that thing. No skimping. I went all out and tried my hardest. I actually like the back better than the front of mine, but whatever, It’s awesome and I love it.

We had a great time. And gingerbread tip of the year: I had the idea to wrap the cheap cardboard that comes with these premade houses with wrapping paper. I actually used a green gift bag. I’m a genius.

And of course, I took a fuck ton of photos of my house because I worked hard on that shit.

Merry Christmas!

I’ve Been Crocheting.

Posted on December 11, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

Where have I been for over a month? Crocheting. Stressing and crocheting. And sure, crocheting actually sounds like something I’d do. However, until like last month, I didn’t even know the difference between crocheting and knitting. I knew there was a difference, but not exactly what and which was which. Then Facebook got me.

How? Ads. Facebook kills me with ads. It’s like “you want this?” And I do. So, I don’t know how long ago, it started showing me The Woobles. The Woobles intrigued me. Not only is it a craft — it’s all in one. It includes EVERYTHING you need. So you can try out crochet without buying anything but this one kit. Look at this:

Yes, when the Halloween collection came out and I saw pumpkins and bats, I caved. That picture is for Luna the bat. It comes with beginner “easy” yarn that HAS ALREADY BEEN STARTED FOR YOU, all the colors you need, the stuffing, eyes, and crochet needle. But it also has step by step videos. In the reviews on Amazon, one of the only negative ones was that they videos were too slow and aimed at kindergartners. Bitch, some of us are LEARNING. We need crochet kindergarten.

It took until about row four before I even figured out the “yarn under” thing. Well, the second row four. I had to unravel the first attempt. But I did it! I created a bat! I MADE THIS. I had also ordered the mini pumpkin kit so I made that shit too. I was hooked (no pun intended). I wanted to do more, but all I knew how to make was that bat. But I had some yarn from a previous craft! So I bought a hook sized for the chenille baby blanket yarn and made en even BIGGER bat (stuffing from an old pillow). Holy shit, I’m amazing.

So then, I was like… I like this. I’ve been crocheting every evening while watching the old 90’s TV show “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” It’s simple to follow and doesn’t require a lot of attention. It’s also a cheesy throw back I enjoy. And I’ve been loving it. It’s relaxing. Instead of feeling like I’m wasting my evenings (and therefore my life) away aimlessly clicking on Reddit and waiting to retire — I’m enjoying my evenings. I’m making things again. So I ordered a kit to make a blanket, because what am I gonna do with all these bats?

Then I got antsy and made the penguin kit with his tiny aviator hat. Yall, these tiny kits (the pumpkin and the hat) are only $5 each. SO WORTH IT. Look how stinking cute he is! I’m so fucking good at this! I LOVE CROCHET. Look how fucking adorable that penguin with his hat is! He’s got stubby little wings yall! And a hat! Husband likes him so much it’s on his desk.

Then I started the blanket because I’m gonna knock this right on out.

Yeah… no. This shit is hard. One, that easy yarn TRICKED ME. It was so easy! I thought the chenille yarn was super hard because I couldn’t see my stitches, but I was wrong. This “afghan yarn” is 2 ply and slippery as FUCK. The stitches are sliding all over the place. And it barely holds together. It’s so hard to not stab right through it every stitch. So it’s slooooowwwwww going.

I’m not gonna lie. I thought about giving up on this shit. But NO. I’m gonna finish. This is my first big project and dammit, I’m gonna do it. And yes, I’m gonna fix that first dark green row because jesus, that’s terrible.

I’ve got the five color sequence done two and a half times now. I’ve figured out the yarn — that being that it’s going to stretch out and pull everywhere, just go with it. I’m not having to look at the pattern. And I can see why the pattern is the way it is. It took about 6 rows before the chevrons really started to stand out. I also thought the single crochet rows were worthless (each color is 4 rows) — but now I see. By doing the single crochet row and back stitching everything, the single row ends up completely on the back of the blanket and invisible from the front. This leaves only the two double crochet stitch rows showing on the front. It also makes them look like they’ve overlapping like fish scales. Nice. And this yarn may suck to work with, but god damn is it soft.

So yeah, Woobles. 100% recommend that shit. They were even on Shark Tank! Sure, if you already have the stuff to knit or crochet, it’s over priced. The people saying that already have hooks and shit and know yarn is cheap. But if you just wanna give it a go, this lets you do a whole project with everything. Even the little plastic eye balls! An yeah, I can look up stitches on youtube, but this is the stitches plus a slow step by step guide.

Everybody’s getting Woobles for Christmas!

Here’s my old lady ass crocheting with my cat. I love it!

Tattoo Sleeve Sessions 5 & 6

Posted on December 9, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

My shoulder is complete! I just scrolled back and I didn’t post session 5. That’s because I didn’t get any pictures of session 5 after it was complete the day of and then it was under second skin and then peeling and so I never got any good photos. As you’ll recall (click here) after session 4, we had added the blue flowers and outlined the entire top. Session 5 was doing the front flowers and some of the vine on the back. First, pictures:

This session was really exciting! Look at those colors! I originally wanted to do oranges and reds. But I’m so glad we added the blues. And look at that purple dahlia! She did such an amazing job! The flowers just look amazing! Red poppies too. It’s stunning. I can’t believe the colors. I never thought I’d want flowers as a tattoo, really. They’re just part of the sleeve. But, damn. I see why flowers are such a common tattoo theme. They’re just so gorgeous. And look at my curly green vine! So cute!

So yesterday, we had session 6. We finished up everything we had outlined and added the bats. I had worried about the pumpkin lid being too bright, but it look great! And having the full shoulder done just looks AWESOME. It’s exactly what I wanted. The exact coverage I wanted swinging down o my should blade. She referred to it as a “shawl” kinda coverage. But I think of it more as part of the arm. Like I keep saying, if you had an arm replaced cybernetically or even just a prosthetic, the shoulder is involved. So I wanted that. I want the entire arm/should. And I GOT IT!

I’m in love! Look at the vine on the back! I got my swirlies! Love the pumpkins vine on my back. I made sure to get her to send me the photos this time. And yes, Jacks face looks washed out. But keep in mind these are tattoos. Jacks face is over a year old so 100% healed with 30 layers of dead skin cells over it, as your skin should be — it’s natural protection. The front is only a month old so new skin, and the new work is FRESH ink. It will all be similar brightness when it heals.

Oh and the bats look whacky here. My neck was NOT happy about them. So they are actually very swollen and red. The ink is purple and grey and they fade out at the bottom. So they look super dark, but they are not. The top outline is solid but then they fade out in purple and grey — so very ethereal. Today, the swelling is down and the color is lighter, but my skin is still inflamed and there’s blood around them under the second skin so not gonna show you. She said we’d probably have to touch the bats up because my skin was so angry, she doesn’t think it will hold the ink well.

Nothing like the pain of a neck tattoo that might need to be redone! I’d say as far as pain goes, the front shoulder was probably the worst session so far. Tattooing the collar bone and that close to the neck was not pleasant. There’s also the INSANE sensation of hearing your skeleton resonating with the tattoo machine. It’s the same speed of the machine — which is right in your ear — but you’re hearing it from INSIDE your body and it’s an insanely deep, low sound. I asked her if that’s what I was hearing and she was like “yeah, isn’t it wild!” It was so weird. Like it hurt like hell, but I kinda wanted to hear it again just to experience it and be like “wow, that’s insane.” I got to hear it a lot that day. Sometimes I had to remind myself to breathe on that one.

Also, the leaves closest to my armpits were pretty painful. I can see why they say the armpits are the most painful to get tattooed. Which I find really weird because why do we need that many nerves in your arm pit? Seriously, I’m asking. It’s just as bad as the neck. Also the healing after session 5 (the front) was the most painful. It was like my ankle when it healed — NO TOUCH. The skin was very much sore and unhappy.

Today doesn’t feel bad so I think it will be a better healing experience. So yeah, I’m super thrilled with it. So thrilled than when I get done, I think I want a photoshoot. Seriously. A photo shoot to show off my tattoo. Here’s an action shot I took yesterday. I’m covering Devon’s face because I didn’t ask her permission to post this. My bro said I looked like I was having a lot of fun. Fun is not what I would call it. I was just excited and happy. These are long ass days of driving two hours there, hours of pain and sitting still, then a two hour drive home. But, I love the results!

So another hiatus on the tattoo for now. Per my agreement with husband, I need to replace the money in my savings that I spent in the deck and pool pump. Then we can finish. We did an outline / trace / mold for her to work from next time. We’re gonna add more to the arm to beef it up and give it more of a wrap around look. I thought we were just going to add the the back, but Devon wants to add to the front and back. Just some more leaves to widen it out. Then at that appointment we will plan the lover arm. It won’t be much — but it will bring it to about a 3/4 sleeve — maybe a bit longer with a trickle of vine. It’ll be pumpkin vine swirls and some of the colorful stuff from the top.

I’m so in love with it!

The artist is Devon Greig of Alchemy Nashville Tattoo. Also known as theswiftstorm on Instagram.

Collecting

Posted on November 7, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

Today, I got an email about the crowd-funded Tenth Anniversary Edition of Firefly: The Game by Gale Force Nine. (Click here to see what I’m talking about — campaign closed months ago though).

So some background: Husband and I like board games. When we got married, we had a very small collection between us. We liked to host game nights and we expanded on it. Here’s a picture from one of our first game nights.

Look at that adorable baby game collection in a blurry photo taken from a flip phone. So we added a “few” games ourselves. Plus his family does Christmas Wish Lists, so I add a few good games to ours every year. So over the years, we’ve been gifted a lot of games. His aunt even cleaned out her collection and sent us about 15 games. So now, after 11 years, we’re at this:

So, we kinda collect board games. Husband likes the harder strategic games with no chance involved. I like lighter games with chance so husband doesn’t always win. I also like trivia games so we have a bunch of great ones I’ve been gifted, but husband won’t ever play them. Which is stupid. I love trivia!

Anyway, he wanted to get me to play a longer more involved game which I had refused. So he tricked me with Firefly. Because I love Firefly. So fine, I’ll play a two hour game but if you steal Zoe, so help me god I will quit. That was an actual thing that happened and I’m sorry for being such a sore sport about it. So we have Firefly and one expansion – Pirates and Bounty Hunters — which I think is how he was going to steal Zoe from my crew. But there are loads of expansions; we just never got them all. Probably because if I get a good crew member, I don’t want you to be able to steal them. THAT’S NOT FUN. So, then came the 10th Anniversary edition. The game, all 5 expansions, EVERY promo card ever made (and those aren’t easy to find — I only have like 3 plus the Big Damn Heroes), a brand new expansion, plus a big damn box to organize it all!

Do not underestimate a big damn box. I bought the Terraforming Mars storage box (yes, JUST a box) and it’s a life saver. It saves so much time setting up the game. (Note: The game collection photo does not show the giant Terraforming Mars box. It’s downstairs. You can see all the expansions there though). Also, have you SEEN how many decks of cards Firefly has? You need a separate card table to play it effectively. This box, has them all ORGANIZED. So I ordered the Firefly game for $220. Honestly, just the game and expansions would cost more than that. And you wouldn’t get the box or the custom hand-painted ships, storage trays, huge neoprene game mat (the original board plus two expansion boards), custom dice for every ship, plus the extra ships that were released to buy separately. All of that in one, huge, organized box. WORTH IT. (Plus I’m still banging my head on a wall for missing the all wooden Catan 25th Anniversary edition that is SO AWESOME. Yall know how I feel about quality game pieces).

So yeah, I bought the Firefly Anniversary Edition. So today I got an email about it. They’re getting the first loads of games into the warehouse! On schedule to arrive in February. Sweet. Whats this suggestion? A Witcher game?

Tell me more about this game whose entire run has somehow escaped me until less than an hour before the campaign ends. Goal reached in under 5 minutes. Impressive. Almost 4.5 million raised by almost 30,000 backers? Wait, 45 stretch goals unlocked?

Yeah, I bought it. It was really the stretch goals that sold me on it. They have to include a-whole-nother damn game box (matching, of course) to hold all the stretch goals. The original game has 3 stories. Well, with stretch goals, you’re getting 8. Cause they raked in 4.5 million dollars in PREORDERS. I sprung for the deluxe pledge so I can have all the miniatures instead of cardboard cutouts. Oh, and the first day freebie I missed of the alternate figurine of Geralt on Roach.

I did not spring for the expansions on this one. I figure 8 stories is a lot. And the stories are replayable — so that’s a lot of games. I’m excited to get husband into The Witcher. He’s also excited because this is a story driven game so more like D&D meets board game. I’m hoping we’ll play a story and then he’ll want to watch that episode.

But the point is, that email tricked me! You can’t show a collector shit they collect and tell them they won’t be able to buy it in an hour. Fuck you. Now I have to buy it.

We’ve REALLY got to start hosting game nights again. They died off with COVID. This year we had exactly ONE to try out some new Christmas games – Charty Party, Puns of Anarchy, and Ransom Notes. The latter is the winner of that group.

Anyone wanna come pay a trivia game? I have 90’s Trivia and Geek Trivia that’s never been opened! Plus there’s Smart Ass and The Art of Science. Husband was even gifted Star Wars trivia (also unopened). Or we can play Christmas games! I have Christmas Vacation and the Santa expansion for Catan! He gives presents when you roll his number!

Oh. Also… a confession. Yeah, I got in on The Holiest Crap Kickstarter too. That shit looks funny as fuck. The trailer is hilarious. The concept is hilarious. It’s going to be hilarious to play and my inlaws WILL NEVER SEE IT.

“How is the Holiest Crap like real life? I have a soul that I don’t want people to see. I’m scared of them knowing who I really am. That’s why I build a wall to hide behind.

“The Wall is made of my flaws and wrong doings called “vices.” Cause when my enemies are distracted by my Chicken Crap, my Bull Crap, or my Hippo Crap, they can’t see my soul and attack me for who I really am.

“If I cover my vices with enough virtues, it’s like getting away with murder and I can flush it all away for points!”

Yall, that game trailer looks like a Saturday Night Live skit or a commercial for Log (It’s big it’s heavy, it’s wood!)

Tattoos on Young People

Posted on October 15, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

So while we were working on my sleeve on Friday, a family came in to get their young daughter tattooed. The shop doesn’t take walk-ins so they were sent away. They were also informed that you can’t tattoo minors in Tennessee even with parental consent, but they could drive to Kentucky and do it there. They wanted to get the little girl a cross. She looked, I don’t know, 12ish? My artist said she won’t tattoo minors even with consent. It’s too early to dedicate to something for life.

So I didn’t give it much thought until I just saw a girl with a Volkswagen Beetle tattooed on her arm. It was very cute. And 1,000% what I would have gotten tattooed when I was younger. Even when I was old enough. One of my dorm rooms was decorated in Beetle ads. I have a very well done painting of a Beetle. I drove a 2001 Beetle for a while.

Growing up I was just obsessed with Volkswagen Beetles and Vans. They’re just so adorable. I loved the aesthetic. Then, the very YEAR I turned 16 (woot 1998), they came out with the “New” Beetle. If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is. So my obsession deepened. I even have internet user names with Beetle in them.

But Mrs C, you’re not a Beetle person. I’M NOT! But I WAS and I would have totally chose that as a tattoo. And then regretted it. Why? Well, I finally got to drive one.

I drove a used 2001 Dark Blue Beetle for a few years. It was adorable as I always wished it would be. It was a hatchback which was a crazy wonderful new obsession. Every car should be a hatchback. And yall, the headroom in that thing was amazing. It was a very comfortable car. And it had a little flower vase built in and I had a fun fake flower in there all the time. It was awesome… peripherally.

See, I had given my sister my old 1994 Civic when I got the Beetle. I had to eventually take the 1994 Civic back. Why? Because Volkswagen Beetles are pieces of fucking shit. They have infinite problems. Maybe if you buy it new and only drive it 3 years, you’d be fine. But mine was not new. It had issues. Once the fusebox melted. They couldn’t replace it either. Why? Because everyone’s fuse boxes melted so they were on order. SHOULDN’T THAT BE A RECALL?

To change the battery, you had to remove the headlight. God help me, putting a new bulb in my back drivers side light was a contortionists nightmare. They are not made to be a car anyone can work on. The only people that can work on them are the Volkswagen Dealership. $$$$$ I had so many problems with that car. SO. MANY. PROBLEMS.

So many, in fact, that I had to get rid of it and go back to my 1994 Civic. A car that was 10 years OLDER. And That just ruined them for me.

Never meet your heroes.

So yeah. I would have gotten that exact tattoo and I would have loved it. And now, I’d cuss about Volkswagens being a fucking piece of shit every time I look at it. Good thing I waited till I was 40 for tattoos.

Revisiting a Review: “Bug Bite Thing”

Posted on October 12, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I’ve posted a review of the Big Bite Thing already. It left a hickey on my forehead. See this previous post for photos and initial review. The gist of it is: This is a professional hickey maker.

Here’s my update on that previous review with photo:

We’ve discussed mosquitoes love for the sweet sweet vintage of my blood. Well, last night, a mosquito in my house got me FOUR TIMES on the shoulder. When I saw the welts in the mirror, I decided to give this thing another try. It’s not my face this time. So I ran up to my husband and got him to use it on the four bites on my back.

I have attached the resulting picture. My husband was laughing uncontrollably. This thing is a professional grade hickey maker. That’s it. Now, maybe hickeys are the cure to mosquito bites and these people are the first ones to figure that out. I suppose this is a more sterile way to create a hickey so there is that. So you get 2 stars.

I’m gonna be honest. Those four bites DON’T itch anymore. My husband swore the itch would come back when they recovered from the trauma, but they’re still not itchy. I’m not going to say they’re fine because now they’re purple, but it is what it is.

I may sound silly, but it’s a scientific fact: “Sucking is sufficient to burst small superficial blood vessels under the skin.” What does this product do? “Suction Tool” is in the TITLE. We’re all idiots.

I’m not gonna lie though. As long as it’s covered by clothes, I’ll use this thing. With full acknowledgment of the hickey that will result. I pray I never have to explain why I have a cluster of perfectly round hickeys to a medical professional. Right now it’s looks like a giant chicken stood on my back. Chickens are descended from dinosaurs so I’m going with Raptor attack.

Tattoo Sleeve Session 4

Posted on October 8, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 3 Comments

So the pool cover was put on yesterday. This perfectly coincided with my first tattoo appointment of the off season. I have three appointments booked right now. Yesterday, November, and December. Yesterday we designed the top and got it stenciled, traced, and started. We hope to be able to finish the coloring in in the next two long sessions. I made a deal with my husband that I wouldn’t schedule any new appointments in exchange for letting me build the deck this summer. When I restore my savings from the deck cost, I can schedule more appointments to finish the tattoo. It will have more to beef up the back of my arm and go on down my forearm as well. It’s a great motivation to spend less!

We started texting back and forth Friday night about the design. I know this is how every tattoo artist does it. You schedule your appointment a year in advance but they don’t sketch it until the night before which is insanely stressful. She sent me this:

I had notes. Why re the berries so big? They’re as big as Jack’s eyes! Bigger, actually! I looked down at my arm and his eyes are pretty big. But she said that if we went any smaller they wouldn’t read as berries. Also a red rose? *wretching noises* Can you get more stereotypical tattoo? In her defense, I get where she got it though. The berries were from my wedding bouquet as are some of the flowers that will make an appearance below the elbow. My bouquet had red and orange roses in it. Red roses are romantic. That is the only sense that I like them in – pure love. When my husband gives me red roses, it’s romantic. That’s the only time I should ever see red roses (my favorite roses are actually the orange ones with a pink border).

So she decides to just redo the front completely. She nailed the back though. Look at those swirly vines!

I’m also real worried about that pumpkin lid there (Jack O Lantern lid). Even after I went and sacrificed one of my porch pumpkins to show her want I meant by Jack O Lantern Lid.

But I’m gonna have to trust her on that. She told me to trust her so fine. She’s got an art degree and way too many years of tattooing under her belt. Still, now we’re in the evening before my tattoo and don’t have a front! So she’s like well what flowers DO you like? Fuck. So I’m frantically googling “Fall flowers” over here and sending her pictures and names.

Well, the red poppies are from momma. She loved red poppies. She had already loved them, but then we went to Italy and she saw the fields of wild poppies in person. It was a memory and a connection and I loved to paint her poppies or give her poppies. Once, I even pulled over on the side of the road and picked a huge handfuls of wild poppies for her. The city had seeded them in the median as an alternative to mowing grass.

So red poppies. Who doesn’t love a fucking dahlia? K and I have even discussed getting matching dahlia tattoos in different colors. Fucking beautiful flowers. Oh and I love those yellow pompoms. Craspedia. AKA “Drumstick” or “Billy Button” flowers. I love when there’s like 3 tall ones in a mixed arrangement. I have some on my counter right now! So I’m just throwing flowers at her. Here’s some cosmos (I was actually thinking of reddish brown “chocolate cosmos”). However, cosmos come in a variety of colors so I was like hey, if you want to add colors, here. I mean the tattoo is looking very brown as it stands.

Then I waited anxiously. Very anxiously. Had I made her mad? WHAT’S HAPPENING?

Then she sends this:

First, note all the watermarks. Dude, I’ve paid you a ton of money. I have an appointment in like 15 hours. I’m not gonna steal your work. BUT

I kinda love it. Would I have EVER said put blue flowers in it? Fuck no. But I like them. It’s a very nice pop of color and contrast. And look at momma’s poppies and my yellow pompoms! She does have a good eye for color. We had a little more back and forth about the pumpkin lid. She smoothed it out a lot. But I’m just gonna have to trust.

I’m the one who wanted a Jack O Lantern lid. One, I’m not a super big flower person. Well, I mean I actually love flowers. Momma was an AVID gardener and we went to the botanical gardens almost weekly growing up. But like – pumpkins. I’m a pumpkin person. And I LOVE the 2 pumpkins she did. But they’re not hugely prominent. They’re kinda small. Like I need more pumpkin. So I thought — Jack O Lantern. I fucking love Halloween and Fall and carving pumpkins. But how can we put a Jack O Lantern in this gorgeous very artistic tattoo without it look cheesy? Then it hit me — Jack O Lantern LID. A nod to Jack O Lanterns. I AM A GENIUS. Anyway, we’ll see how she executes it. She reminds me that these pictures are just references. OK.

Saturday morning I wake up bright and early so I can eat before I head out. She’s two hours away and it’ll be past dinner time before I get home. Here’s the Saturday morning “before” shot. Note: I’ve bought two strapless bras for the healing process. We’re going hard with three months back to back, so it’ll need 3 months of no bra strap.

I watched “6 Underground” on Netflix while she worked. It was a good movie. I love Ryan Reynolds. While she was making the stencils she said we’d have to trace them out this time. Now, I did hate being a coloring book last time she did that. However, I had already decided I’d let her choose how to do it since these appointments are so close together. She was piecing together MULTIPLE stencils to follow my body contours. Plus doing some hand drawing where they connect. So she said this is just too much to do multiple times. Yeah, OK. So first she tattooed the stencils on:

Originally, there wasn’t supposed to be so much on my chest. Of course she disagreed and that this was always the case. I have photo evidence that it was not, but I aint picking fights with my artist. I actually like it. I despise that sleeves usually cut off at the shoulder where I call “the Barbie seam”. Like, if you have a cybernetic arm or a prosthetic, that shits gonna include your shoulder joint. So should your sleeve. So after studying the stencil for a long time… fuck it, let’s do it.

The outlining took ages. So we didn’t get as much coloring in done as I expected. Jack got his catholic halo (not that that’s the intention LOL — I just wanted a frame around him so he would really POP). It is solid green, but in the photos it looks very mottled. She was REALLY packing in the color (as she should), and my skin was angry. She commented on how pissed my skin was and that if it heals patchy, we might have to go over it again. I’m not worried. She also colored two more leaves and she did two of the blue cosmos. I kinda love these cosmos! She wants to go back and do more detail on the frame around Jack, but I’m not positive I want it.

So for reference, here it is this morning from front and back so you can see where it falls on my body:

The bats have not been abandoned, but they will not be stenciled. They will be hand placed. Also probably more on my back now and at least one that peeps up on my neck.

I’m THRILLED with where this is going. I’m in love with it. I got a little anxious when I showed husband. There was a lot of miscommunication about me have THREE appointments already scheduled (BEFORE the deck was ever started). Also that it would go further down my arm (was always the intention. In fact, it was originally suppose to wrap around my arm too). And I think the bats on the neck scares him. But like, they make amazing tattoo makeup now. The only time I’d ever need t cover it up would be like court or an interview. Hell, I can pop a zit cover over a small bat. It’s fine. His words were “It’s a lot.”

So that brought me down. But I get it. It IS a lot. Especially when 2 years ago I didn’t have any tattoos. Now I’m like, INK ME. But yall know me, I like to do it right. And to me, asymmetry is gorgeous in tattoos. And I love sleeves. I don’t like the patchwork look of tattoos placed wherever there is space (though, some people love that and I do think those sticker sleeves are adorable. Lets all just be happy with our ink).

I even took this picture to show Devon (though I did not). It’s all the work tank tops I bought this year:

Listen, I still kinda hate my big fat arms. BUT after that surgery, they don’t jiggle and sag so much. And I could have NEVER done something like this before. And I have LOVED this tattoo for almost a year now (yes, his face is a year healed in these pictures). I haven’t regretted it for one second. It took a part of me I hated and made it something I wanna show off. I keep telling people, I’m drawing your attention away from my bald spots to my cleavage and tattoos.

And I don’t like people, but damn I love all the comments people make about it. Do I want to see photos of your cat? I like cats. “Did you see her bad ass tattoo?” Heh. This is art. ON ME. On my ugly body. This and the tummy tuck and boobs were like the best decisions ever.

If I was willing to wear a wig and do my makeup, this would BY FAR be my hottest era.

My mother-in-law is gonna LOVE IT.

That Time Someone Tried to Buy a Motorcycle With My Credit Card

Posted on August 28, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

Yall get a snack. It’s story time. This all started on Wednesday while I was at work. I got this alert on my phone:

So someone was trying to use my credit card to spend $9,000.00. Well, I caught the alert in time to cancel the transaction (notice it says if I/they try again, it will approve).

Welp. I’m nosy and into drama and like the “tea” as K2 would say. So I look up where my card is being used. I call up Battle Creek Powersports. I ask if anyone is there who just had a card declined for that amount. Yep. Are they still there? Yep. Well, that’s not their credit card. Que calling of the cops.

NOTE: Over the last few days, I’ve collected more info so I will be filling in some events that happened that I only just found out about today. So if you didn’t hear this in the original story, that’s why.

So the manager put the phone down on the desk to call the cops. I can still hear everything in the background. So after my card was declined, he used another. He was reading the numbers out to the cashier because their internet was down. She was using her cellphone to run the transaction. So she never saw the cards to find this suspicious. Also, apparently they were in his cellphone wallet, so wouldn’t have looked suspicious anyway. That card went through. So he loaded up his new dirt bike in a Uhaul van. The only reason he was still there, was that he was pushing his luck. He and his accomplice were discussing the purchase of another bike. However, now the store was up to their conniving. They were distracting them until the police could get there. But the guys got suspicious and fled with their new stolen bike.

I heard all this going on through the phone. She came back and I was like — did they just steal a bike from you? Yep. But they had someone hop on a bike and chase after them and we were hopeful that between that and the police already in route, this would be caught and dealt with. How exciting — I just triggered a police chase! What an interesting day at work! Yeah, they didn’t catch them.

The manger has been super nice to deal with. She’s just so thankful that I called them. Apparently, it would be a few days before they would ever find out it was fraud. By then everything would be long gone and no one gets arrested. Also, dirt bikes don’t require registration. So it’s a nifty high price item to steal. I asked her why they wouldn’t be suspicious of someone chunking a whole ass motorcycle on a credit card. She said that people do it to get the credit card benefits or miles and then pay it off. That’s fair. She sent me his license to see if I recognized it, I do not:

I get a call from the cops the next day. They did not catch the thieves. He was excited that I had a 256 area code though because the guy used a Huntsville address. Did I recognize it? Yeah. That’s MY address. He said this happens in nice neighborhoods all the time. People steal cards out of the mailboxes. Well, I don’t live in a neighborho… Oh damn, we do look rich as fuck by our house though. I was just shocked that they knew my card could AFFORD a motorcycle. I looked through my records and there were no “test” charges. How did they know my address and info and that I had such a high limit?

I have since talked to the bank and a new card was not mailed out. So they got my info some other way. Not a simple mailbox thief. And of course the license and everything is fake so they have no leads.

Then Friday I get this:

So they got caught doing the scam again at Polaris. Well, the driver got caught. Mr “Nolan Adams” fled on foot. I thought that was the end. What a wild thing to happen. Police chases and fraud and I’m all up in it! Then today, I get a letter in the mail for Mr Nolan Adams congratulating him on his new Kawasaki purchase. It includes the model and stuff so I google it. Looks like he got one of these:

Nice ride, bro. Another $10k bike. So I texted the manager and she called me. We’re both kinda not involved anymore but highly invested in this motherfucker getting caught. She fills in a lot of gaps. And sends me this news article and picture of the guy from the Polaris dealership — same guy as the license picture.

So are these guys just going around with a bunch of spoofed credit cards buying dirt bikes? It would seem so. They don’t even think it’s a real Uhaul van. She said that as soon as I called her and informed them of the scam, they informed all the other dealerships. One of them, Chase Motorsports, had actually turned the guys away because he was suspicious and told them they couldn’t buy it on a credit card.

So Polaris had heard about these guys through the grape vine of dealerships and called the cops. Who then arrested the driver, but Mr Adams ran. And get this, there was a brand new Yamaha in the van. Yamaha didn’t even know they got scammed. I doubt Kawasaki knows either.

So the manager tells me that this week she got a call from the guy whose credit card did work at their business freaking out about the transaction. He lives only like 40 minutes from me. And the dealership is an hour and half from here. And the driver is about 40 minutes away. So it seems a bit local to me… She’s going to give the other guy my info and see if we can compare notes to see if we’ve used our cards at the same place at some point. Tomorrow I’m going to call the police and offer to send them my shiny new Kawasaki owner info. I guess I’m going to start getting a lot of dirt bike mail now…

So we know this jackass has fraudulently purchased, at minimum, three shiny new dirt bikes. We’re going to keep each other in the loop and try to do some tracking for the police. Apparently, if I hadn’t have called them on a whim — none of this would have come to light until THIS week when the other guy called to see what the hell he was charged for! Even then, they wouldn’t have been able to track all the purchases back to the same guys and Polaris wouldn’t have stopped them either. Because no one would have know there was anyone doing this — they’d have all been isolated incidents. We can only tie Battlecreek, Chase Motorsports, and Polaris because of my call. Yamaha was just in the van when they were arrested, and I’m holding the Kawasaki info.

What the fuck? Credit card companies have no incentive to fix this. They only care about protecting themselves and then card holders. Not catching thieves. So this manager I called, has to pay back the money to Visa for the fraudulent charge. They just have to eat it. Visa doesn’t care.

I care though. Can’t wait to talk to my fellow stolen card brother! Does he use the same gas stations? Or eat at Another Broken Egg a lot? I wonder if there is somewhere we can pinpoint where we both used our cards…

Review: LotFancy RFID Blocking Sleeves

Posted on August 24, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

My credit card information was recently stolen. That’s gonna be its own post because it was fucking amazing. So new credit card. This coincided with a new debit card as well. Both have NFC (near field communication) technology. Also known as “contactless payment” or “tap to pay.” So I used it for the first time at the gas pump. I was a bit bothered that I didn’t even ask me for my zip code to authorize the transaction. So I decided I needed some RFID/NFC blocking card covers since my wallet is not RFID blocking.

First, I will say that I did research and NFC is the safest technology we have right now to make payments. Either via the card or the phone. Unlike other methods, your card number and name are not transferred. Only a unique encrypted code is. This code changes every time so it’d be pretty hard to spoof. My card was spoofed. I don’t know if they got it online somehow or skimmed it somewhere, but they had a physical copy of my credit card. Swiping a card is the easiest to steal/copy method. People put skimmers on gas pumps and ATMs and steal your card info and pin. Easy peasy. This can also be done with a chip card but it’s much more difficult and therefore unlikely due to the chips encryption. With NFC, you don’t insert your card so they can’t copy it at the point of sell system. So now NFC is the even more secure version. Therefore, I am willing to embrace this technology.

The most powerful NFC is only going to be a few inches using a magnetic field. We’re talking just barely over 1.5 inches (4 cm) on a credit card reader. RFID can be hundreds of meters when it’s used for inventory tracking since it uses radio waves. So even with that tiny range on NFC – I’m uncomfortable. It’s still too close for comfort for me. Either way, they are easy to block. Just need some metal. Nothing fancy. You could totally make your card a little tinfoil hat if you wanted and be completely safe. I chose to order ready-made sleeves. I saw they had cute ones and settled on the LotFancy slips. Or, as Amazon calls them: “LotFancy RFID Blocking Sleeves (19 Pack, 14 Credit Card Sleeves + 5 Passport Sleeves) for Identity Theft Protection, Designed with Cassette Pattern, Smart Slim Design fits Wallet/Purse” (click for link).

As you can already see, they are adorable! There’s 5 passport sleeves and 14 credit card sleeves. They look like old VCR tapes and audio cassette tapes. Ah the good old days. Why have a bunch of grey or navy blue sleeves when you can have THESE? Come on!

Now I will say, I tested them. I figured they would work fine. It’s not like this is advanced technology. However, these are very affordable and who’s to say someone didn’t just print out some card stock and send it out? So first thing I did was test it at the gas pump. I had my card in the sleeve and rubbed it all over the reader. Nothing. So yeah, they work!

I’d give them 5 stars if it weren’t for one thing. In a regular wallet, they are a tight fit. It is actually easier to just slide the card out of the sleeve in your wallet than to pull it out in the sleeve. So that’s what I’ve been doing. I just leave the sleeve in my wallet and pull out the card, then carefully return it to the sleeve. So 4.5 stars from me. Though honestly, I don’t see how this could possibly be avoided. Any material is going to add some bulk to the card. Therefore, I imagine any slip would be just as tight in your wallet.

For now, I’m going to enjoy the peace of mind of safety and the new pops of color in my wallet! I put them over my cards and then realized your passport card actually says to store it in a sleeve on the card. So yeah, it went in one too.

Added bonus. Today we were in a training talking about safety and the instructor asked who had their credit cards in RFID blocking sleeves. Only two of us raised our hands. I even proved it and showed how cute mine are. Win.