So THIS is why people just save lemongrass stalks from year to year and no one grows from seed.
I cut those stalks clean not 48 hours ago. This is only the second time I’ve watered them. I cut all the leaves off so they’d focus on root growth. All 8 stalks have new shoots like a centimeter long! Even the one that had like no roots and just a bulb nub.
Y’all, my seedlings have been under 2 inches for like a month. I’ve got them out there with a grow light and a fan on a timer. Gave them miracle grow under watered for three days now. NO DIFFERENCE.
The experts know what they’re doing. Wish I’d done more research months ago and learned how they propagate them before I jumped in with seeds. These stalks were way more expensive than seed, but far cheaper than a lemongrass plant. From now on, we doing this every year.
Problem is… squirrels. I love squirrels, don’t get me wrong. But they start digging up all my plants. Every single pot. Look at this motherfucker on my Ring camera:
I couldn’t figure it out. I thought they might be burying the peanuts I feed them. I dug around in the pots and found no nuts. I went to the internet. Apparently, they dig around for stuff that might have been buried last Fall? What the fuck? I just potted these. There’s nothing there, dumbass. Why haven’t I ever seen them dig elsewhere? I hate to jinx myself, but they don’t dig up my flower beds. I don’t see little holes all around my yard.
They weren’t just looking once either. They were digging them up multiple times a day. One day, my Mandevillas had their damn roots exposed! So something had to be done. For what I had out already, I just used the bastard pool rocks. I just put rocks all around the plant in the pot. I’m not sure about this for the ferns though, because they will want to expand. Maybe I can remove them later. We’ll see about those. For the others, it’s a great solution. They haven’t bothered them since.
But what about my lemongrass and pumpkins? Those will be seedlings. I can put rocks around those. So I decided on critter mesh to keep… well… critters away. So I proposed an errand day to my friends. We went to Cat Bird Seat and Lowe’s.
I needed to replace a dying succulent in my table center piece. I needed dirt for my pumpkins and lemongrass. And, of course, critter netting. So I set out with K, K2, and K’s SO.
Don’t shop for plants with friends (AKA “Enablers”)
We went to Cat Bird Seat first. Just a local plant place. They’re super close and also on the way to the big box stores. K2 proposed that they would have a better succulent collection. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a nice colorful one like the one I was replacing. They did, however, have a large selection. I narrowed it down to two little guys. One I chose for the color pop of pink edges. The other for the quirkiness. I presented my two options to my friends to ask which I should go for. They insisted I get both. I told them I only had room for one. They suggested I get another tiny pot and go for “levels.”
Goddammit they were right. I got them both plus a super tiny pot from Lowe’s. A few weeks ago I already added river rocks to this centerpiece because the bottom of the terrarium was showing rust. Now it’s like major upgrade. I already had the main pot on the riser. I just slid it to the side a bit for the little guy. LOOK AT THE LEVELS. It’s so dynamic. And the rocks look great.
PUMPKINS!
So then we headed to Lowe’s. Why Lowe’s? Because Lowe’s and Home Depot are very close together and K was in the left lane which went towards Lowe’s. Highly complex decision making, clearly. It worked out great though. They had a sweet deal on dirt! One cubic foot of fertilized top soil for $2. That’s a steal! I got regular top soil that wasn’t fertilized for $2.99 and thought THAT was a good deal. I need a lot for my 5 pumpkin pots.
Well, they’re aren’t pots, per se. They’re actually nursery bags inside nursery fabric pots. The bags, which won’t break down, are ugly and just for growing, not showing. The fabric pots are nicer, but they are biodegradable. So I combined the two so I can reuse them. Fabric pot on the outside, lined with a bag on the inside. Yes, the bottom of the fabric pot will still be wet, but I hope to get a few seasons out of them. Also, the fabric pots would drain from all areas. With the bag, only the drainage holes will drain.
Anyway, I needed to get these pumpkins out ASAP. I knew they needed to go out in May. After the clusterfuck of lemongrass seeds that wouldn’t sprout, I need to get them out on time. That way if I have bad seeds, I can buy new seeds and still get pumpkins. So I spent the weekend filling my pots. I did NOT buy enough dirt. I figured one bag would be plenty per pot. I was wrong. Each pot took two bags. So yeah, I had to go BACK to Lowe’s on Sunday for even more dirt. (Also, I did look up how big a pot I would need for a pumpkin. 20 gallons. That’s why I couldn’t afford to buy actual pots.)
Now these pots are heavy. Thank god for my garden wagon! I managed to get them all out. I used broken umbrella pieces (not a hoarder) and tennis balls to hold up the critter netting. I used it doubled over and tucked it under the pots on the front and sides. Then I used 3 packs of binder clips to secure the back so I can have access as needed.
Once the vines grow long enough, I will lay out a sunshade over the rocks to keep the weeds out and allow the vines to stay neatly on top. I chose a sunshade because mesh tarps are crazy expensive. I don’t need anything strong, I need something that blocks light but is water permeable. So sunshade! I’ll buy some more critter netting to go over the vines too. Not sure how I’ll hold the netting up as I’m out of umbrella parts.
So may I introduce you to the very first day of my very first pumpkin patch!
But wait, there’s more.
I was researching caring for pumpkins so I can nail this. And everyone kept mentioning planting in July. Why July? I need 120 days to mature on the big ones and 90 on the small — that’s 4 months! Oh… fuck me. October is the TENTH month. So I need to plant them… in the SIXTH month… which is June.
Fuck me.
So if these grow, I’m going to get my small pumpkins in 90 days which is… early August. Yeah… that’s not gonna last till Halloween.
Fuck me.
So I guess this is a tester batch to see if these seeds sprout. Yeah. That’s it. I’ll pluck them when they do and replant at the correct date. Ignore the stupid person.
The Lemongrass Experiment
On to the lemongrass. Well, I fear I planted this one too late. The seedlings are so very tiny. I needed to get the domes off so I moved them to the garage. I’m going to stop top watering and switch to bottom watering with a bit of miracle grow. I also set up a fan to start hardening them up. It will run on its lowest setting for 4 hours on, 4 hours off, rinse and repeat.
Also, I’ve done so much lemongrass research. The reason I had difficulty finding seeds was that no one grows from seed. They grow from last years harvest. At the end of the season, you dig up the stalk and peel away all the leaves. Wash it really good so that there’s no dirt and a little bit of roots. Put all your stalks in a vase with cold water that you change out every week. Then next year, plop the stalk in the ground and your plant comes back. Obviously, I will do this from here on out if my lemongrass is successful.
To give my tiny baby lemongrass a boost, I did buy 8 stalks of wintered lemongrass. I got those planted up today in smaller, more colorful fabric pots. When my seedlings are ready to go, I can put those in there too. Since I want a lot of grass blades, I can plant a lot close together. Each plant will only put out between 10 and 20 blades. I’m growing them for the oils and scent, not for cooking. So I’m not trying to get thick juicy stalks.
They are currently in the garage because I need more critter mesh to cover them before they go outside. Hopefully, I will get them out tomorrow as I do not have another grow light. I should have had enough critter mesh, but I doubled up over the pumpkin patch. So tomorrow, I can add critter mesh and get those out in the sun.
I’ll continue rotating my seedings and hardening them up in the garage until they’re a bit more ready to go outside.
My first venture into miniature. NOTE: I added a kitty cat that was too big for Sherlock’s alley. He’s by the blue shelf.
Where we are:
Still working on Sherlock. The inside is finished but I cannot assemble until I get the new touch sensor which is coming from China. I’ve done the new outside, but it doesn’t look clean yet. I’m going to finish the edges with faux leather bias tape trim. Then I’ll show off the finished project in all its glory.
Where we’re going:
This was on a big sale on Amazon. I paid 50 for Sherlock, got this one for $30. So yeah, I grabbed that up because I knew this was the next one I wanted to do.
I’m not going to start this one until Sherlock is 100% complete. I have no idea how long that will be. I will probably crochet a penguin with a sun hat in the mean time. I’ve also ordered some stuff for this — like a better witch broom, some little bottles, and MORE CATS.
A future?
Yall, I want to open an online miniature shop. I’ve gotten into this little world and people sell the most awesome shit and it costs SO MUCH MONEY. And people buy it! Also, some stuff you only want like 1 or 2 of, but have to buy a huge pack.
So I want to get a 3D printer and print some of my own things — laptops, TARDIS’s, what have you. Make some stuff — maybe a leather bound River Song’s Journal? Custom books. Whatever I want! Bulk buy shit from China and sell it it smaller amounts for crafters. Maybe get in on third party kits. And shopping for stuff at the craft store that can be converted to mini (like the cameo earrings to wall cameos) — was so fun. Throw in some thrifting of doll house stuff. I think it could be fun. Oh an yeah, I’m gonna sell a TON of rock and crystal chips.
I honestly think that with about $2k I can get the website, a selection of inventory, and a 3D printer to get it started.
Now this is down the line. I have other financial priorities. I COULD do it now. BUT, I’d rather get my savings back squared away and finish my tattoo (which I can’t do until I replace the savings that were spent on the deck and pool repairs last summer). Until then, I can keep doing minis and get a feel for what people want.
I already know custom books and mini nerd things (AKA TARDISs) are in high demand. Someone posted this 1cm TARDIS on a facebook group I follow and the comments BLEW UP with people wanting to buy them. They weren’t selling though — it was just a custom 3D print they made with a scaled down FREE pattern. Etsy is full of shit like sets of super tiny Harry Potter books. Hell, do you know how SWEET I could make River’s journal? I could either do actual embossed leather like her’s — but honestly for it to be so small, I might do the covers in clay and paint them. Could use sewing pins to do the embossed details…
Like I’m serious yall. I think I want to start a fun little side business. And then I can just make fun little things to sell! I can even sell fully finished nooks. Like, they’d cost a ton — but some people DO sell them and there is a market. At least the kits would pay for themselves.
This weekend , I repotted and generally took care of my over-wintered plants. Two Red Banana Trees, eight White Rio Mandevillas, and a giant sun fern. They lived in my master bedroom all winter with a sunlamp. I’ve been wanting to get them out because the Mandevillas are starting to smell very sweet. They’re waking up. So this weekend everyone went outside in big pots with fresh dirt.
So today, Monday, I go water them on my lunch break. Another advantage to working from home! So I grab my water can from the front porch (oh sorry, STANLEY’S STOOP). I water the plants there and go inside to get more water from the kitchen on my way to the back deck. I set my watering can in the sink and start filling.
FROG.
Now, y’all, my house gets a lot of frogs. My pool has the bubblers that sound like a running river. We live next to apartments with little retention ponds with fountains. We got frogs. These guys:
In the summer they cling to our windows to catch bugs attracted to the lights. During the day they sleep in my pool umbrellas and hide under the pillows. (Always check the pillows and umbrellas before sitting and opening because you will be attacked otherwise.)
So. These things scare me. I can’t explain it because I know they absolutely will not hurt me. But my god they are so quick and jumpy and they will JUMP ON YOUR FACE. Yes, it HAS HAPPENED TO ME. So, if I’m looking for them, I’m cool. Like I might have a jump scare if one moves when I find it, but it’s fine. If I’m not expecting to see one, my god, I will scream. Not like a long scream but an extremely loud full on scream.
Like when husband comes to bed with out loudly stating his presence when I’m “sleeping”. That kinda scream. Like the instinct of “I’m about to die” with the quick realization of “I’m ok”.
And in the summer, these motherfuckers love my umbrellas and my watering cans. Big two gallons of shade. Fuck yeah. Personal frog grotto, bitches. I get it. But I forgot. And you can’t see them in there because there’s only a small filling hole. Like this. Great watering can. Totally recommend.
So when I turn on the water, Big Bertha comes up to the fill hole. I scream. Husband is in work meeting. He usually handles the frogs. It’s ok, it’s in the can still… I get solo cup. I got this.
I get solo cup and quickly pounce over the hole while the waters still running. Got you, bitch! Then I scream bloody murder because there was a baby Bertha in there too and now it’s on my window sill!
So I get the solo cup covered can outside and set it down. Will worry about Big Bertha later. Gotta catch baby. There was much screaming. I get baby Bertha in the cup and run outside to release it. It jumps out of the cup and I scream. Cause that’s what I do. And THEN I have to call out “IM FINE! JUST A FROG!” Cause all the neighbors can here me.
Oy. I forgot about those fuckers in my watering cans. Last year Louie had a field day when I brought the watering can inside so frogs wouldn’t get in it… Not knowing there was a frog in it.
Anyway, I watered the plants with the solo cup over the hole so. Big Bertha wouldn’t attack me and then dumped her out. Now the can is INSIDE.
Why don’t these things come with a lid or a plug? I usually just have to water my deck plants with one hanging out on the can like this the whole time:
Yeah, that motherfucker sat there while I watered every single plant.
Life Hack
Also, I know I’m 41 and the daughter of a gardener extraordinair. I’m also lazy as fuck. So I’ve never over wintered my plants before. Holy shit, FREE PLANTS! I’ve got, like, $200+ worth of plants out there!
The Red Banana Trees with Mandevillas are back on the front porch. They thrived last year. This year, I removed one of the 4 Mandevillas from each pot. I also put them in much bigger pots and made a taller trellis on the side against the columns for the vines to grow up. Last year it was a hot mess and I kept wadding them up in a tomatoe-cage-like structure around the Banana Tree and they were barely contained and the Banana Tree suffered from lack of light.
The small sun fern I bought last year is HUMONGOUS. I knew I’d have to divide it, but I ended up dividing it into three! Three sun ferns the same size as this one was when I bought it.
Also, have you ever devided a fern? For fucks sake, I did not expect that difficulty. I tried to just dive in with a trowel. Nope. So I grabbed my machete. Nope. So I used the saw blade side of the machete. Nope. I ended up sawing the rootball easily enough, but damn, getting through the matted top layer was like WTF? I’ve trimmed hedges easier than that.
They’re fine. Still plenty of roots and green stems for each third. And little bulb things… Are those fern bulbs? Do ferns make bulbs?
I also have the two Mandevillas I thinned out in another pot. I’m going to let them grow over the back stair railing. See: FREE PLANTS.
If my lemongrass works out, I probably won’t buy anymore plants this year.
Overwintering sucks though. I have a cat. Plants a big and heavy. The garage is freezing. So this winter, I have a plan! I’m going to buy a popup green house (basically a popup tent) and put it where my gardening table is. Plenty of room. Stick some grow lights in there and buy a little greenhouse heater. Should only cost $200 all together and it already saved me that much this year!
Probably gonna start a compost heap for dirt too. I got an acre so I can put it way back in the corner of the property.
I watched a lemongrass tutorial and I think I found why the seeds are so hard to get. No one grows it from seed. They pull up the main stalk with barely any roots, trim it down to a few inches, strip off the outer layers, wash off the dirt, and stick them in cold water to over winter. Change the water out once a week and come spring, stick ’em back in the ground. So I’ll be doing that this year if I’m successful.
They also taught me how to weave little grass bundles for cooking and tea. So if anyone wants those, I should have a ton come fall!
This morning we were idly chatting about Saturday morning type things. Husband asked me if I had heard that OJ died. I said no, but I saw this meme and I knew:
It’s so true. Let him go out in style. We were like the key age to remember this shit. I remember the trial VERY VIVIDLY. This was way bigger than Depp vs Heard.
Anyone who is sad about this shit can kick rocks. Motherfucker wrote a book called “If I Did It.” They had even filmed an interview for Fox called “O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.”
What a piece of shit. Also that Fox tried to pull that shit shows all their integrity. They did eventually air that interview anyway — so they never actually found any morals.
Putting this out there for all the fellow gardeners. seednerds.com is a scam. They present as a legit company based in California. They fooled me. I made purchase and was notified that I had made an international transaction on my credit card. This is the only indication I had that they were not CONUS.
I called the number to cancel my order. Fake number. I googled the address. Real address — I did street view — it’s a shipping warehouse.
Yeah, that is not an image of a “50-acre farm […which also…] partner[s] with local beekeepers to set up honeybee hives and with free-range chicken farmers to provide help with pest control and composting.”
I sent three emails to cancel the order. They just stonewall and ask for more information. After a few weeks, I get a shipping notice. So I wait for my seeds so I can return them. After all, they have a return policy:
I just need to email them and they’ll send me a shipping label. False. One, they informed me they moved their warehouse to china so I will have to pay to return them. OK, bitches, give me the address. Now I’ve sent six emails with continuous stalls and asking for more information and pictures. Pictures like this of seed packs with NO LABELS EVEN:
When I googled them back in early march, I didn’t find a lot of negative information. Now there is tons:
Please call us from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, Monday through Friday, Pacific Standard Time
IS A SCAM. FRAUD. FAKE. CHINESE ASSHOLES.
***********Update on my Lemongrass************
So out of the THREE packs of seeds I’ve ordered from people — ONE is doing well. The plants came up quickly but do not seem to be growing much — unlike the first set of fake lemon grass that shot up like… well, regular old grass. The third contender hasn’t sprouted a single plant. And obviously, I can’t even plant this chinese shit.
I fear I will not have nearly as many plants as I had hoped.
OK, I came here to post a review about cat hair cleaner. But I can’t I gotta talk about something else. Something bigger. Something fucking huge and infuriating and disgusting. I was going to post about it when I had time to reread the initial email and use quotes but fuck it — here we go.
First, yall know I don’t like people. People suck. They only give a fuck about themselves. But I don’t live in fear of people. I don’t expect every person I walk past to stab me, I just think they’re probably a selfish asshole or a dumbass until they prove otherwise. I’m actually a nice person. Despite the fact that I’m bitter and shit. I’m also southern. We’re nice down here. So let me tell you — when I got fucked over SO DAMN HARD this week, it was actually a shock.
Like, damn, I knew she was a bitch — but I didn’t know she was snake in the grass. What the fuck? Who DOES THAT? Bad people.
Like I know, my moral compass doesn’t line up with yours. But my moral compass is strong. I have values. I have rules you just don’t break. I have unacceptable. And this… holy fucking shit.
So. The Snake has come after me. There’s this bitch at work (previously “bitch” — now we’re out of curse word range. Like she has passed jovial words at this point). No one wants to deal with her. I only deal with her when I have to. No chatting. Just emailing each other questions to get the job done. We don’t work in remotely the same department or line of work, so we don’t even interact that much. I have no idea of her work location. I’ve never spoken to her over voice chat, phone, or in person. She’s just one of those people you have to deal with sometimes. And whenever you ask her a question, she’s almost always a bitch about it and says that’s not her job or you should already know or some shit. And she’s always blaming my group (of 2 — but mainly me) for shit to customers. And she’s rude as fuck to customers. Like this bitch is so rude, I’ve complained about it to my boss multiple times. And yeah, I have the receipts because some were in writing.
But everything was fine. Sometimes you just work with bitches and assholes. You just try to avoid them. You ask other people when possible. Or when you get a snappy reply you just forward it to your boss and ask for help.
Yall know I don’t give 2 fucks about work. Work isn’t my life. I don’t get my kicks and personal satisfaction from work. I just wanna do my job and go home. My boss knows this. I’m pretty positive I said it in the interview. So you know that I don’t have enough fucks to give to be mean to someone. One, I’m not mean. Two, I don’t shit where I eat. Three, I can’t be bothered. I just need the information to do my job so I can go home and pet my cat. And as far as I know, until this week, this person quite liked me. I COULD be wrong. I’m not sure when her attitude changed about me.
It might have happened early this week. She sent an email about some paperwork she’s corrected on the last 4 things I’ve submitted. My coworker was copied on it and gets in way earlier than me so there were already some back and forths on the chain before I joined in. So I get it and go — my bad, I’m a dumbass. I didn’t even KNOW there were multiple of that thing — I’ve literally been copying and pasting from the last one I submitted. Can you send me the different ones and what they are for? (Obviously the email was longer and didn’t curse).
So as is her normal, she responded with a bitch of an email. Like 4 paragraphs that started with something like “Mrs C, you have been on countless emails where I have sent blah blah blah blah blah. You should know blah blah blah blah blah. It’s not my job blah blah blah blah blah. I sen out an email months ago blah blah blah blah.” And never actually gave me the information. Just said I already had it and should know it. And she reiterated that she’s corrected it on my last 4 submissions and she doesn’t call people out on every little thing because she’s not that kind of person. She will only call someone out when it’s a repeated error and so they might need a better understanding of the process.
So I replied back. I did not curse. I was totally politically correct. And I was a BITCH. There were TWO “per my last email”s and one “per your last email” and one quote from her last email that I referred to as the “antithesis of helpful.” It basically came down to “per my last email, I’m a dumbass and never knew that there were multiple of that thing. Per your email, you only point things out when someone needs a better under standing of the process. I’m telling you directly that I need a better understanding of the process. Saying “blah blah blah blah blah you already know” if the antithesis of helpful. I will ask you again as per my last email, please send me the things and what they are for.”
And this isn’t in some vacuum. There’s at least 5 people on this email chain. So one of them pipes in with hey hey hey, lets step back and turn things down a few notches. Why? Because I’m never so rude and it was obvious (on purpose) that I was DONE.
***** Inserted later — oh an earlier that morning she had emailed my boss (without me on it) complaining about my charging overhead on my time card. She was super mean and spiteful and said STRAIGHT OUT that I should not be allowed to work without a direct charge code — even though she had literally started a email complaining about me doing something wrong that morning so she knows I’m working. And she DEMANDED an explanation. Well, my boss is awesome and this snake has no level to demand shit from her — so she COPIED ME in her 5 word response that she had already talked to X about it. So my email of politically correct direct fire also included that she knew, “from her curt email this morning about my lack of charge codes” that I was doing work for programs I was unfamiliar with and that’s why I didn’t know about the things. *****
Has anyone sent me the thingies or where to find them and when to use them? Nope. Still nope. Because that would be helpful.
So Wednesday, I go for an in person meeting. Before the meeting, I swing by my boss’s office to ask her about one of these submissions (new one). Like I said, I try to avoid asking the snake stuff if I can. So we discuss it, she’ll reach out to this other person to get the answer cause neither of us know. And then at the end, she’s like “hey, when this person if making you mad, let me handle it. And NEVER drop the f bomb in an email to her.” And I’m like OK. I curse a lot, but I never curse in email so whatever. Check, boss. And she says that she complained that I kept dropping the F bomb in emails which I suspected to be untrue but couldn’t prove right then. So then we went to our meeting.
So hours later, I get home. I immediately check my emails I’ve sent to her. Nothing. So I PDF every single email I’ve ever sent her and send it to my boss. I tell her I find it concerning that this person has complained about me twice that I know of and that I have not: 1) ever incorrectly charged my time or 2) cursed at her via email. I DID go through my entire chat history with her and had used two curse words (in a year, pretty impressive). I screen capped those two occurrences and attached those as well to be fully transparent.
(For the record, they weren’t AT her. One of them was me AGREEING with her that that was “fucking” stupid of them to do.)
Then, I message my coworker and tell them that this person is a lying snake in the grass! I checked EVERY EMAIL with her in the “To” line and not a SINGLE ONE had a curse word. I used advanced search functions. And coworker says “yeah, but at least we don’t have to deal with her as now we’re to copy boss on EVERYTHING”. And I’m like wait, what? She didn’t tell me that. When did she tell YOU that? And coworker says boss called. And something about a complaint. So I’m like wait wait wait — WHAT?
So I call my boss. Me and my boss get along great. I’m like um… what’s happening?
So boss tells me that snake sent an email to HER division director and my boss (who is my division director because I’m missing a lot of people in my chain of command — I refused to take the position of my own boss even though I could). So like she skipped from zero to overboard already by never saying anything to anyone and jumping to directors. So my boss is cool. She says “I can’t SHARE this email with you, but I can SHOW you it.” So she screenshares the snakes email to all these directors. (I screenshot it, don’t tell).
YALL. YALL.
YALLLLLLLLLLLL.
When I got off the phone I SCREAMED for my husband to come look at this. Not that I was screaming at HIM — I was just screaming because WHAT THE FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?
She sent an email as a victim. That she has sat on this overnight to think about before saying anything. But she’s put up with this for too long. She’s kept it to herself and only talked to AAA about it (*AAA loves my ass, BTW). She tried to ignore it as she’s a peacekeeper, but Mrs C has created a toxic workplace. She can provide “at least 25 emails” of Mrs C being horribly rude and hateful (or something, I refuse to go upstairs to read this lying piece of shit again). That no one should dread work this much and that it has come to where she comes to work in a state of fear. She used all the key words — harassment, fear, toxic work environment.
Coincidence that we had training on this like last week and she knows the supervisors are required to elevate this up the chain? Oh I think not. She filled that email with so much lies and bullshit and made sure to use EXACTLY the right key words to get my ass in huge trouble.
Snake came after MY JOB. Like FOR REAL. With an email of LIES.
LIES YALL. 100% LIES.
And my boss was ON the chain of emails that started this. And I had already sent boss every email I’ve ever sent this woman. I went through them — they’re all just questions. Mostly when I was super new and didn’t know shit. Absolutely ZERO kick back until that last email. And absolutely ZERO inappropriate language. So I’m like BOSS, you gotta forward that email to her director! I literally HAVE ALL THE EMAILS. If she’s going to accuse me of this, I want receipts! Tell her to provide those 25 emails! I give you full permission to send that PDF of emails out as proof.
Boss is cool and just trying to calm me the fuck down. She’s like don’t worry about this woman. If it was some other director, we’d have a problem — but her director knows how she is and I know you so we’ve already talked about it. Worst comes to worst, you’ll have to be sat in a room together with us and HR and hash it out. And I’m like “I can’t sit in a room with her and not call her a blatant liar to her face” — Boss says that’s cool as long as I don’t curse.
So now I’ve been in a panic since Wednesday. Like, my job is not at risk. I know that. My boss loves me and NEEDS me. Also, I have receipts. Crazy snake doesn’t have receipts. I also have receipts of emails I sent my boss complaining about this woman’s unprofessionalism. I wonder if she ever complained about me?
Like yall, I’m gonna have stroke any minute now. I can’t NOT THINK ABOUT THIS. Husband is like “you can’t fixate on this” and I’m like ‘WOULDN’T YOU?”‘ To which he says yes, and that’s why he knows how bad it is.
I don’t want boss to sweep this under the rug. I WANT this to go to HR and I want to go pay staples to print out binders of EVERY GOD DAMN SINGLE WORD I’ve spoken to this woman so I can collate and earmark it with colors and put it in front of everyone in the room as MY RECEIPTS and ask her to show where I’ve harassed her? Where I’ve made her “FEAR” me? I’ll even highlight the TWO times I cursed and sincerely apologized because, yes I was wrong. It wont happen again and wish she’d have told me it offended her. And I’ll use one color — maybe green? — to mark all the times she’s praised working with me and how thorough I am.
Do I need to sign up for the union? Seriously? Like am I being stupid thinking this isn’t HUGE because my boss has my back and these are obviously all lies?
But honestly, before I sent her every email in PDF format with assurance there were no “F bombs.” — boss probably believed her. Because I do curse casually. So she’s using this one truth — Mrs C is casual and curses a lot to wrap up this huge lie of my harassing her and making her fearful of me.
Yall, I CALLED coworker so we could speak off the record and prefaced this with, can we talk off the record as friends here? And told her ALL of this. She was APPALLED. She was like — “how can you create a toxic work environment when yall don’t even work together?”
I KNOW, RIGHT?
And she’s been on almost every email I’ve every had with this woman. None of them are rude (except for that last one when I purposefully owned her ass). She said that Snake is just mad that I threw her words back at her. She’s like an uncle I have — can dish it all day but can’t take a single bad word back. Husband had already said he same thing. And it is true — everyone knows how bitchy she is and just ignores her.
Yall, I’M DYING OVER HERE. I know people are pieces of shit. I know it deep down in my soul. But for someone to randomly just go from zero to threatening MY JOB? Holy shit. What kind of person ARE YOU? It’s like, man I’d be less insulted if someone pulled a gun on me to rob me. Like if you shot me, I’d be less insulted. Because on my morality scale, that just makes you a druggie that shoots people. I’d just take you to court and hope you got prison time. To to be so… slimy. So… disgusting. So two-faced. Just… wow. To just blatantly throw out a shit full of lies and threaten someones job because they hurt your feelings, I guess? I mean holy fucking shit.
This is why I curse so much yall. There is ONE VERSION of Mrs C. I’m never gonna surprise you. You’re gonna be like “yep, saw that coming.” Because holy fuck, these snakes in the grass. At least someone robbing a bank just owns that they are robbing a bank. Does this snake see how bad her actions are? Does she think life is just some game where you can be a “mean girl” and toss around such accusations at your whim? How can you do this to someone?
I can’t believe I’m so shocked that someone is a scumbag. Like Mrs C, you knew she was a bitch. But yeah, I knew she was a bitch, yeah. I didn’t know she was… THIS.
You know whats funny? He has now harassed ME. SHE HAS CREATED A TOXIC WORKPLACE. I’m now scared to email HER. How fucked up is that?
FIRST, let me start by saying THIS IS NOT FINISHED. It’s about 80-85% Finished. There are still some things I need to add and some things I want to tweak and change. I’ll talk about more in this post. The reason I had to pause was… The touch activate wires are too short to hook up. I was finalizing assembly last night, and yeah. It’s MAYBE 1/3 of the length it needs to be. I’ve contacted customer service to ask for a replacement. I hope they come through. If they don’t, I’ll ask M how to extend the wires I have. I’m fairly certain I can just snip them and insert a length of wire and connect to either end, but I’d want to ask and electrical engineer first.
This is a good reason that I might order from their website direct next time. Direct support. Even though I used their official Amazon store front, hey might not help me out. If I had ordered direct from their site they would. So yeah. Magical Pharmacy might be a direct order.
Anyway, for that reason, the project is on hold. It’s also at a good pause state. I can look at it and see what I want to tweak and change. I can ponder…
It’s not even fully assembled yet. If I sealed it, I wouldn’t be able to wire in the sensor. I also plan to completely redo the outside of the box and haven’t even decided what I’m going to do for that. It has to be black and white because that printer is much better.
In the mean time, I decided that since I can’t showcase it yet, I’d show you a lot of my edits by using side-by-sides of the original. I’ve taken all the original shots from the CuteBee website. Except for one that came from Amazon Reviews. I really want to show yall how heavily I have edited this kit. It’s a “6 hour” kit. I’ve spent days on it already. Maybe even 6. Most things, like the paintings and even the books, were printed on the structure, and I’ve changed most of that shit. So for those unfamiliar with this booknook, I can show you with these side-by-sides!
Move-In Time!
Last night, I finally got to work on the upstairs. The excitement was exhilarating LOL. I spent a whole night cutting paper just for this. I made tiny Amazon packages (there’s a quarter in that picture for scale). I made a laptop and cell phone from scratch. I spent hours image searching and shrinking newspapers, paintings, photos, envelopes, letters, folders, book covers. I went to Hobby Lobby with K for little bits. I ordered shit from Alibaba for gods sake. I’ve been waiting over a month to do this.
The time has come. I had already assembled all the furniture. Time to put it together and for Sherlock to move in!
Rather than follow the instructions and decorate the furniture before placing it, I placed everything first. I’m doing my own decorating so I needed to see how it flowed and where I wanted things. It’s strange that in the original nook, the chair is the center of attention. I expected that in mine as well. But it turned out the desk is the center of attention in mine. So good thing I did the furniture first.
Baker Street
You’ve mostly seen Baker Street from my previous posts. But you haven’t seen a side-by-side! The only new things since last post are the fire hydrant, the lamp post, hanging lanterns, and the walls being up. Oh and I changed out the weird old vintage note on the bench for a modern letter. I added a little forensics book too. OH! And I glued down the toy gun I got!
A few things to note here. 1) It’s a lame crime scene, I know. But I had to use what the kit had, remember? I’m editing a kit, not building from scratch. You’ll notice the flowers in the back are changed from wood to 3D. I already showed you the updated signage on the walls. And look at the difference the crime scene makes with with 3D stuff. I ditched the old-timey lantern too. My sculpted clay pieces and toy gun and flowers are killing the original.
Another thing. Do you see why I took so much time painting edges? Look at the original mailbox. The sides of the iron railing. LOOK AT THE FIRE HYDRANT. That fire hydrant is fucking adorable. Whoever designed that from 2D snap together pieces — fucking-a. Bravo. Well, done. But it’s more brown than red! You gotta paint the edges!
OPINION REQUEST: I want to make my LED less bright and more yellow like theirs. Any suggestions for what to cover it with? I was thinking wax paper?
The Hidden Hallway
Unlike the website, I can’t rip most of it off to photograph inside the stairwell, so I’ve done my best. Husband lamented that there’s so much effort and detail in there that you can barely see. But isn’t that the point of these? Tiny little worlds that beg to be explored?
I know, I already showed you the flowers and mail — but now you can see what it was before. Upgradde with a double D for a double dose of pimpin’. NOTE: It had a candle and a vase. I removed all candles from this build. They were everywhere. On the furniture, on the shelves. I excato-knifed them all out. Same as the street lantern. We’re modern now.
As with everything else, I had to replace all the pictures I wallpapered over. I wish I’d have saved the credits shot for the back wall. I found a few gorgeous London pictures and an adorable painting of a red phone box with a couple walking by with a red umbrella. Oh and I blinged out the frames in metallic paint. White cardboard my ass!
It’s All in the Details
This picture is to show you what difference a little paint can make. Look at their globe thing. Can you believe it’s the same as MY astrolabe? Yeah, no. Mines got metallic paint that makes it look like an astrolabe. Like the lines are there on purpose and not just because I made a sphere out of 2D pieces. The blue is also a shimmery blue with hints of purple in spots. I’d say the seed beads were for flair — but they’re recovery. This kit is pressed paper and I smashed the fuck out of the tip and end trying to get that round end piece on. HOW are you supposed to apply pressure to get them to snap together? There’s no where to hold or even put pliers! So I had to cut them off. I replaced with seed beads, Mine look better anyway.
I adore this astrolabe and typewriter. The typewriter was another case of too much brown from the edges. I painted it bright red. Then I was like… I have made a mistake. This aint a Kitchen Aid mixer. So I went over it with walnut stain. Perfection.
Stain, you ask? You’ll notice this throughout this thing. I bought a furniture scratch repair kit to do the edges. It was the cheapest way to get a ton of brown markers in a variety — plus I already started fixing some dings around the house. Bonus! I wish I found this before my husband noticed when I scratched the floor.
I obviously fucked this up at some point, and got stain on the front of one of the pieces. So then I had to stain the whole thing – cause you can’t wipe that shit off like paint. And I liked it. I liked it a lot. So every piece of shelving and furniture in this room has been stained over. It allows the under print to show though — but just looks less cheap. More real. And since it’s stain, it adds beautiful striations as long as you go with the grain the wood should have. I might get the black stain that came with it and go over some bits on Baker Street that I just did with black paint. So the shelves and stuff in my pictures look richer and darker for that reason, not photo trickery. Mines just better.
Let’s Get The Initial Shock Out Of The Way. THE FRONT.
SURPRISE! Now keep in mind — WORK IN PROGRESS. I’m still tweaking a lot. For instance, I already took stuff off the table by the chair because it blended in with my beloved mail pile too much.
So you can see my fucking AMAZING chair and footstool makeover. If you didn’t read that part, I used clay to sculpt it to be padded. Especially that pillow. Like don’t use that unmodded pillow yall. It’s taking away from the already bad chair. But I’m not done with it. I want to buy some clear matte-finish paint and make it not-shiny.
Deep in the background, you can see that I replaced the painting above the clock with a bat — like the taxidermy bat shadow box Sherlock has in the show.
There was also the case of that “Detective” sign. The kit is for a detective agency. So I guess he felt the need to advertise above his desk. I thought about making it white and putting “Consulting Detective” there since that’s how Sherlock introduces himself. But this is Sherlock’s house. He doesn’t advertise. I couldn’t get rid of it though because it’s a structure for an LED above the desk. So… A light fixture? I printed out some more modern options but went with an Applebee’s-flavored stained glass shade.
The only other thing I’ll note here is the colors. You can see that my brighter books, white paper prints instead of aged stickers, and color prints instead of old-timey black and white have modernized it just like I wanted. Old Victorian flat in modern times. I think I nailed it.
Sherlock’s Desk
I had so much fun with this area. I did not think this would be the main focus, but it totally turned into it. You can see I ditched a bunch of the kit’s stuff. The old phone, looking glass, feather quill, candle. Whatever that thing right behind his chair was. That’s where I put in a cameo for a pair of earrings. And next to the cameo is Dr Watson’s “A Study in Pink” which was his blog post of the first episode. With the skylight, you can get a good view of it and see the whole title.
We’ve got London A-Z which they used to solve the code in “The Blind Banker.” We got a laptop (yes, it’s too fat — but I made it from scraps of the kit and the pressed paper is thick). He’s got a whole bottle of brandy and an insanely tiny glass of brandy — they’re very shiny in person! He has has carelessly placed the glass on his papers which it has already stained. (Another happy accident, not on purpose. I had placed the glass on the desk and then decided it should be on papers. So I quickly pulled it up but the glue had grabbed a bit of the dark stain from the desk. Looks like spilled liquid around the rim).
Also, those papers were tri-folded like a real letter before gluing down. Of course, his trusty cellphone is there. The portrait of Arthur Conan Doyle is replaced with (a print of) the skull he likes to talk to that Mrs Husdon keeps hiding.
Hard to see at this angle, but there’s a stack of books shoved under the desk and one of his favorites leaning behind his chair.
Possibly my favorite bit of this build is the massive pile of deliveries and mail. Like he walks in the door and just throws it on his desk and it just piles there on the floor. He can’t be arsed to bother with his mail. And yeah, I made insanely thin strips of blue paper for Amazon tape but only used it on two boxes because it was a pain. But yeah, this is why I made all those envelopes. British envelopes and American ones with different colored stamps, some bills with prepaid labels, some colored cards. Perhaps cards from fans — perhaps little Kirsty asking him to find out what happened to the luminescent Bluebell.
Right Wall
Look, I’ve discussed it before – but god damn my case board is a masterpiece. The modern maps — the photographs of the characters from the show. The seed bead pins and fine thread tying it all together. And yeah, Jayne from Firefly is still there. And the little sticky note of Moriarty’s “I O U.” OK, this might be my favorite area. I’ve just had it around for longer. Now it even has the astrolabe, so yeah, it might be the best area. OK, it is. But the mail stack is new.
Note the difference the stain pens make on the furniture. I sanded down the cane and painted it to be Dr Watson’s medical cane he used for the psychosomatic limp he had before he met Sherlock. Can you spot River Song’s diary?
I love his pile of newspapers. He can’t be bothered to toss them when he’s done. I printed off lots of London papers to shrink down and fold up. Some are even under the stool, they’ve been there so long.
OPINION REQUEST: Should I add seed bead handles to the dark cabinetry?
Left Wall
I haven’t done the door yet. It was supposed to have a dart board on it but bleh. It also needs a door handle of some sort. I think I might do the spray paint smile that Sherlock did and shot up whenever he was angry. There was no where to do it on the wall paper, so I could sub the door. Only problem is he did it in yellow paint because it was the yellow paint they used as a clue in “The Blind Banker.” And yellow isn’t going to show up on that door. One option is switching the white and gold door for a black and gold door. It can’t be a color because I’ll need to use the better resolution of the black and white laser printer. And I can’t paint that fine detail on it. If I did THAT I could do it in yellow.
OPINION REQUEST: Black the door and do the yellow, or leave it white and use another color? If the latter, what color?
Then I’ll rough it up pretty good with the exacto knife like he’s shot at it a few times.
Oh and the purple scarf is there to represent the purple shirt of sex. If you were around when the show aired — Benedict Cumberbatch became a huge sex symbol. And when he wore that purple shirt — whoo, the internet was on it.
The Mail Stack
Just for funsies, the mail stack. It tickles me that some of the envelopes are First Class and he has no fucks to give.
Today was Louie’s One Year Adoption Anniversary! I gave him a new toy that he loves so much he already bit a chunk off. He got wet food for dinner. And we added his footprint to my leather journal of clovers and things.
We had to do the footprint twice because it smeared a lot.
Yesterday he went for his yearly vet visit. Jack never did regular visits until his last 3 years. After mom died, I took him to the vet to make sure I wouldn’t lose the damn cat too. And he was diagnosed with kidney failure. So for his last 3 years we did the vet thing — but that was out of 17 years.
For Louie, I just feel like we should do the vet thing. I’d feel bad not doing it. Perhaps if he gets kidney failure, we can catch it earlier. We can afford it. And he REALLY needed to go to the vet when I adopted him. I’m pretty sure he just has IBS. But we’ve finally got him on an expensive food that works for him (Open Farm). So he’s not constantly farting toxic gas anymore and having constant bloody diarrhea. His shit smells like toxic bombs, but I think the biggest part of that is that he doesn’t cover his poop.
His chin acne was terrible, but almost completely cleared up. I very rarely clean his chin. He has a lot of ear wax. I usually clean his ears every 2 to 3 weeks. He doesn’t mind it. So they did a test and he does have too much bacteria in his ear. They said my cleaning has been keeping it at bay. And since it doesn’t bother him, they said I could just keep doing that. But they recommended that I get a prescription ear flush and clean them once a week for a bit. Basically, the reasoning is that I’m keeping it from getting out of control, but I can’t actually get rid of it because I can’t get down deep in his ear. So an ear flush can actually cure it. The ear flush was only 17 bucks, so yeah, we’ll do it.
Oh – AND HE ISN’T FAT. There are some angles of pictures where he looks like a VERY chonky boy. And a few people have called him chonky. The vet said his weight was fine, just don’t let him gain more. He’s 12.3lbs.
So… YAY LOUIE! He’s still a catfish. I haven’t settled on his middle name. I kinda want him to be Louie Catfish C****. I also thought about using his original name as a middle name like Louie Milo C****. TBD
