Cursing Cats and Other Curiosities -

Confession Time

Posted on August 4, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I just watched a YouTube video about high sugar drinks we had as kids. It brought back a sin from the past.

I have a confession to make.

Some time between 2007 and 2010 I was working really late and saw one of these babies in the work fridge:

A red Fruit Barrel. I stole it and drank it right there. I actually still feel bad about it. It wasn’t even as good as I had remembered, but it might have just been tainted by sin.

That’s the only time I ever took something from the office fridge. Also one of only two times I can even think that I stole something and felt bad about it. Well, wait, I did take a traffic cone in college but I actually DID feel bad about it and “gave it back.”

The other time I was like super young. Like kindergarten-ageish. Mom found me playing with a little plastic furskin figurine. It was probably from a McDonald’s type meal. She asked me where I got it and I “got it” at daycare. She told me that was STEALING. I still feel bad about that one too.

Also, holy SHIT! FURSKIN! I’ve thought about my little furskin with his list boot for like 4 decades and couldn’t ever remember what they were called! This guy:

I got him for Christmas and very promptly lost his boot. I was distraught while we looked at Christmas lights! I LOST HIS BOOT!

Lot of trauma with me and Furskins, apparently. Also, I’m laughing that it came from Wendy’s. Cause we also had the little Rhonda and Randy Reindeer from Wendy’s. Did Wendy’s just have amazing toys in the 80s?

Also furskin is literally fur+skin which is weird. And that boot wasn’t held on with anything. Just a freaking plastic tube on his leg. You can’t expect my 4 year old self to not lose that. God, I was so upset about that boot.

I thought you didn’t form memories until you were 5? If that guy was really from 1986, that would make me 4. I was in the back passenger side of the car while we looked at Christmas lights and I realized he was missing a boot and was crying. BECAUSE HE LOST HIS BOOT!

Are you “special” or just that privileged?

Posted on July 11, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

So I’m on Facebook and I see this post:

Hi! I just need to.. get this out of my chest. I’ve been passing for a very bad time of my life this year. I had no job since December. I had two painful losses and… idk my mind was in a very dark place plus I was depending completely on my stash because without a job I cannot make any purchases. So… this beauty… “Princess and the pea kitty” is out of stock. I am from Mexico so I’m not able to buy it in the destash group. So… it was on Amazon and every day I was pending on the stock. Today I finally receive my first paycheck since I got a job last week and with my card ready to buy it… I entered to Amazon site and… sold out. Nothing… I’m so sad. I cried like a baby I swear. Idk why I wanted it so bad and idk why I felt it like the biggest disappointment but trust me… I’m heart broken.

I sent an email to DAC just to know if maybe by any chance they had 1 left but…

So Diamond Art Club kits are huge and like over $75. But they have some small ones on Amazon. This one was like $25 at full price. I know because it’s the only square drill one Amazon had (their website only sells big ones) and I wanted to practice with the squares before I start my behemoth one. But I didn’t like the style.

The point is, this is a luxury that is not needed, 100%. But it’s an affordable one. She wasn’t aiming for a $100 kit.

So let’s start with spoiler: Like 5 people offered to get it to her (Amazon just had Prime Day deals on these kits, hence it being gone now. So a lot of people probably just bought it cause it was super cheap). So in the end, she’s getting it. She’s very happy. The art community was like fuck me, we got a get her that cat picture. FIND THE CAT PICTURE.

Except for one person.

One comment didn’t understand what the big deal is.

So my question is: are you stupid, have no empathy, or really that blessed?

Listen, I’ve been upside down a few times in life. Like multiple. I’ve been negative money many many times. I got laid off back in 2010 and weren’t no job to be had. So if you’ve never been in this situation, I want to tell you this.

Sometimes you focus on one little thing. Nothing big. You wouldn’t dare hope for something unachievable because your heart can’t handle it if you don’t get there. Maybe you’re gonna eat out with your first paycheck. Maybe you’re gonna get the good milk. Just something that is your focus. And when you get real sad you think about how you’re totally gonna get the good milk soon. That thought gets you through. It’s stupid and little, but it’s also the world.

So for 7 months this girl has been saying, I’m getting that cat picture. And fucking Prime Day puts it on sale the weekend before her first paycheck and now it’s gone forever. And she’s distraught and crying because that was her THING. And now she’ll never have the thing! But she went through so much for the thing!

How can you NOT empathize with that? Fuck me, I’ll pay the shipping.

Like is this an internet troll or what? Literally everyone else in the comments is trying to find a copy and offering to help pay to get it to her. And one dumbass doesn’t understand.

Smartassing for Amusement.

Posted on July 9, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

One thing I do far to much at work is to smart ass for amusement. Not just this job. Every job. If you send out a tone-deaf email, my fingers just take over and start typing.

Today we got a safety email about strong scents in the workplace. Basically strong cleaners, perfumes, air fresheners, soaps, lotions – all that – can be harmful to people who are really sensitive. We need to be mindful of our coworkers.

Background: they have been putting a new coating of tar on our roof for months. It was supposed to be two weeks back at the beginning April. Don’t ask me. But the smell is acrid. It’s causing lots of people headaches and makes my eyes burn.

There are multiple signs posted all over that you may notice a strong smell but it is nontoxic. No one believes that bullshit. But at least I sit on the first floor so it’s far better than the poor fuckers upstairs. Also, I could move to a hot desk in another building but whatever.

So I get this email about strong lotion and my fingers just take over “You are aware…”

I do this because the responses always amuse me. I’m a pot-stirrer. I never claimed I was anything better.

Anyway, they just replied that the materials used are “known to give off certain fumes or odors during the application process. […] Please rest assured that the materials chosen have been evaluated by <BLAH BLAH Industrial Hygiene Team>, are compliant with safety standards, and precautions were taken to minimize any impact on employee air quality.”

Uhuh. Sure, DuPont.

Diamond Painting

Posted on July 5, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I’ve been numbing out my life stress with Diamond Painting. Have you heard of this? Diamond Panting? I kept seeing Diamond Paintings in Amazon Vine. On amazon they can them “5D” which is just so cringe. I don’t know what the hell dimensions they think the 4th and 5th are, but it bothers me. Not my point.

It’s Paint-By-Numbers meets Bedazzling. So no actual artistic skill required. Like less skill than paint by numbers because you have to stay in the lines on that. You’re just sticking the bling on the spots with the numbers. I felt kinda bad about the whole no-skill required thing. Like I’m too good for that, because apparently, I’m an artistic craft snob. But yall, I get why it’s taken off. It’s so fucking zen and satisfying. It’s like when “zen tangles” took off.

Is that two words? “zen tangles?” Or is it like “zentangles?” “zen-tangles?” You remember – when everyone was doing those line patterns we all did back in school on the sides of our notebook pages? But it became like a legit adult art form? Anyway, that didn’t last long. Moving on.

So from what I can tell, Diamond Painting started getting really big around COVID because in lockdown people needed shit to do. We needed tedious shit that was going to take days of work. So it became a thing. Now chinese drop-shippers are on that shit. So that’s how it entered my sphere. So fuck it, I ordered one. Well, I ordered a set of six plant designs. I knew they’d be shit quality but I figured I could use three or four for my office. I say office, but yall know I work in a cubicle so don’t think I’m fancy.

After over a month of waiting, one arrived. Yeah, just one. They changed the listing from the set of six to a single one. And I still have to pay taxes on these Vine items so it was listed at $20 — So I’ll pay like $7 and this piece of shit is NOT WORTH $7. I gave it a 2 star review. Really, that was generous. I gave it an extra star because it had an “AB” diamond. I’m getting ahead of myself.

I had this canvas and like that’s a fuck ton of bedazzling. I was very intimidated. Combine this with the fact that the “tools” kit arrive broken and was absolute SHIT, I couldn’t start here. I know from everything in life that quality is better. This is really true for any art form as well. Talk to a master of any art – seriously like blacksmithing, glass bowling, stained glass, wood working — whatever skill. They will tell you — those expensive tools are nice, but they’re better for the beginners who can’t afford them. If you’re good, you can do your skill with shit tools. They wish they had the good tools when they started because life would be so much easier. So I wanted to get started on a good foot. Something quality.

From youtube videos, I found that they all worship this company called “Diamond Art Club.” Well, lucky for me, Diamond Art Club sells shit on Amazon. So I ordered up a set of non-intimidating coasters. I also ordered some dirt cheap accessory kits. This was an excellent plan. If you want to get started in Diamond Painting, I recommend these things:

Diamond Art Club Coasters (this link is to their website, but they’re cheaper on Amazon in price and shipping — but the section won’t be as great). They’re like $15 on Amazon.
This kit of supplies from Art Dot. It’s got a comfortable pen, diamond trays I like better that then fancy Diamond Art Club ones and a GAZILLION times better than the shit green “boats” that you get with cheap kits (which was broken in mine anyway). It’s also got release papers for when you advance to canvases — must have. It’s got DAC color code label stickers for storage. We got a good roller to smush those diamonds down, a straightener to make it look like you don’t suck, and sealer for a finished project. Yeah — all that under $15. BUY IT.

So then I made this:

IT’S SO SHINY! Not intimidating either. I did this in two evenings, but I’ve done others in a single evening after work. I love that they’re on wood so I can sit on the couch and do them. They even come with cork bottoms. And the Diamond Art Club kits comes with really nice tool kits. A nice pen, better wax, and a nice tray. I still prefer the fat Art Dot pen from that kit I linked though. Also those trays. So soon I did all the coasters in the kit:

I told my Sister-In-Law about this new Diamond Painting thing I was doing. Turns out, my brother gave her a painting for Christmas! She’s been working on it but its very tedious and she wasn’t enjoying it much. So I sent her all the shit to do the coasters. The coasters, the kit, plus extra trays. (Note — that coaster kit comes with great tools so you don’t need the additional tools kit or anything else. The extra tools kit is if you plan to do more stuff like canvases). You can buy 15 Art Dot trays super cheap ($7) but I don’t think you need that many anymore so I’m not going to bother suggesting them. Anyway, all of that sent to her via Amazon was $36. So excellent gift idea there. She did her set of coasters faster than I did! She had one done the night she got the package. They’re very satisfying, yall. Like do it.

At this point I’ve started diamond painting to drown out the family and work stress. So I was ready to conquer the shitty plant canvas. I paid for it, I was going to do it. Here you can see what I’m talking about by Paint-By-Numbers. There are symbols (in this particular canvas numbers) that have a key to tell you which gem color goes there. The canvas is covered in glue. You stick the diamond/gem/drill on the dot. They call them “drills” in Diamond Painting. I don’t know why, they just do.

So it took a long time but I go that canvas done. I used the release papers to section it off. So I think they best method for conquering the canvases is a section at a time. The newer canvases even come with covers that are perforated for you to tear off just a square at a time. So to use the release papers, you just remove the cover all together. Then you place the release papers on small sections so that you can remove just one paper to work on that section. I split this canvas into 12 sections. Some nights I did 2 sections.

This was a BIG learning experience. It was a super cheap kit. So it arrive folded. Yeah. Even after I put the drills on it, there was still a big fold across it. So I knew I’d need to mount it to a canvas board. I had also watched a lot of youtube videos and had too much information for my experience level. I had seen a tip about covering any gaps in the canvas with mica powder. Your girl is a craft queen, I have that! Also, the background had so much white and there was pink wax stuck in there. I wanted to clean it up before the mica powder. I had seen a tip to clean your trays with hand sanitizer because it works amazing at getting any wax out. So I dumped hand sanitizer on it and used a tooth brush. TERRIBLE idea. I don’t know if it’s because these drills were so cheap, but I think I took the shine off.

I pushed forward with the mica powder anyway — we’re in it now. White all over the background. Then I went too far — green on the leaves. Fuck. The green took away the darker colors on the canvas that had shown through and now it looked lighter. So I got black to darken up the dark edges of the leaves. Then FUCK ME, some dripped in the white. God, what a cluterfuck. OK, no way in hell that dark smudge is going anywhere now. So I gotta embrace a color. What would work for the background… purple. The smudge was at the bottom so I started there. I wasn’t loving it. So I decided to just do the bottom. Then I had ruined it like 3 times and should have never fucked with this shit so I sealed it and mounted on the canvas and declared it done. TA-DA!

It looks good in my office anyway.

Then I moved on to a big girl canvas! The leaves had 9 colors. This one had 33!

Look at how fucking beautiful that is! And it’s the good brand, not a chinese drop ship and it really does make a difference. This kit had special drills too! AB means aurora borealis. They have an iridescent coating on top. Also Fairy Dust which have a very fine glitter on top. This one deserve beauty shots:

Here you can see what I mean by working a section at a time. See how I was working a rectangle and doing each color just in that rectangle:

By this time I had discovered Facebook “destash” groups. Even though the big Diamond Art Club canvases are super expensive – they play on FOMO and some people just buy a hundred. So I had seen a kit I loved but was out of stock. I put up and ISO (in seek of) post. Someone offered it to me at cheaper than cost with shipping included. Fuck yeah bitches.

Now this canvas is 40 inches. So a lot. I’m cutting it into 8 smaller sections. Apparently this is sacrilegious. But it also has some people curious. So I might finally dive into youtube craft videos and do a video of how I do it. It’s on the maybe back burner.

I know this will be a huge undertaking and if I try to just power through it, it won’t happen. So I picked up some stuff to do in between sections of the big kit. I got another set of coasters. I ordered some “Mini Dazzles” (link goes to the website, but again they can be purchased on Amazon). I got the 80’s set and already made this cute cassette tape:

I also picked up the most ADORABLE Otter from the good site and a chinese drop ship polar bear. The polar bear has sunglasses and lots of neon colors so it just looks like it would be a fun one to do.

So if you haven’t heard from me in a few weeks, I’ve been under a lot of stress and self-medicating by sticking dots to canvases so I won’t think about what a fucking clusterfuck everything is. The world, my job, my family. It’s all going to HELL. So shiny dots it is.

Look at my Plants

Posted on June 28, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

This is a plant update to show off my plants. However, this is Cursing Cats and Curiosities, so we’ll start with Louie. It’s very hot outside. So while we still let Louie outside some mornings (in his vest), he doesn’t wanna stay out there. He walks back to the door. I think he likes the air conditioning.

So here is a photo of him after he requested to go in, but we were still outside. Louie has resting bitch face. Seriously, he has resting bitch face. That’s just Louie. He aint mad. It’s funny cause he’s next to the “Rescue our cat sign” on the door.

On to the plants!

Look at my monstera! That new leaf is 27 inches long. Some areas have triple perforations. (Click here for the last update on her.) Admire her:

The butterfly garden is doing fine. I really need to kill all the weeds around the pool area, I know. I’ve seen lots of pollinators and a few butterflies over here. I really need to scrub my bird bath. It’s got algae! I did not expect that for some reason. (Click here for the post where I planted the butterfly garden.)

The Plumeria finally got to go outside. Since moving her outside, her flowers went from light pink to a beautiful dark pink. Oh yeah, and a storm blew her down the stairs. It’s ok! She has recovered. I took her off the pant stand so she’d be more sturdy. She’s already blooming again. In the evening her blooms smell the strongest. I take so many pictures of her flowers. This is from this morning.

The nook in my bedroom is thriving! Apparently those zig zag cacti really just wanted some grow lights! (Click here for the last check in on those babies. Well, then I did a chop and prop, but that just made the Walmart one l look worse.) That one on the rightmost end of the pole is the free table cutting from that plant fair! It’s finally growing! It grew maybe 4 very long spindly stalks before the grow lights. I chopped them up and planted them all again. It doesn’t have any of the big gorgeous fishbones of the original cutting, but we are making massive progress. Finally!

The immortal sting-of-bananas continues. I keep giving it hair cuts and rooting them back in the pot. (Click here for the last nook update pictures and the Sting-of-Banana journey). It’s so funny because every time I look back at older pictures, I’m like “damn, it was looking thin.” I think it’s just because I always saw where this was going and what it would be. I wonder if husband still hates that closet pole? I won’t ask because he probably does.

The Walmart zig zag cactus is happy as a fucking clam. It has exploded. That’s the left most plant on the pole.

The living room plants are doing great. Once I figured out I was over-watering my rattlesnake plant, it bounced back quickly. My Lemon-Lime prayer plants don’t actually have a lot of day/night movement. This rattlesnake plat does though! She’ll be standing fully tall by night time. As I write this, she’s about halfway up. She’s tucking in.

The money tree has bounced back better than I could have imagined. After fighting the spider mites for so long, I just couldn’t win! New growth was still coming in shitty. And even if she came back thriving, she would have been super spindly. So I made the decision to just cut it all down. I cut it completely back to the bare original sticks and hoped for the best. And WOW. Now she’s thick and luscious and so happy. Each original trunk has at least 2 or more branches coming off. So she’s thicker than she ever was.

Speaking of, I hacked down my red banana plants too. They got a bit shocked after going back outside after winter. OK, a LOT shocked. All the leaves went brown on the edges. So I just hacked them back to the bare trunks too. Looks like they’re sprouting now!

Now to go trim the delphiniums in the butterfly garden. They were so insanely gorgeous but all the blooms dropped off. I thought they would bloom all summer? I just read I need to cut off the seeding branches to get more blooms. So… More cutting. Don’t be afraid to cut your plants! Sometimes they need a reset.

Palate Cleanser

Posted on June 19, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

So things have in fact gotten even worse since my last post — but fuck that. This post isn’t about that. This post is about some new wonderful developments.

Third Day

Third Day is doing a 30th anniversary REUNION TOUR!

Third Day broke up back in like 2018.

Roll it back. So in 1998 or 1999, I was in Highschool. A girl in my class had been gifted a cassette of “Time” for Christmas and she hated it. (Yes a cassette — I’m old.) I was a very much bubble Christian (ugh, I know, I hate me too) so she gave it to me. I fucking loved it.

I became a huge fan. Remember message boards? I was on the Third Day message boards. I started traveling to my current city every year to see them live at Big Spring Jam (yall remember when concerts were super cheap and highschoolers could afford to drive 2 hours to see their favorite bands at big outdoor concerts with lots of stages?). I went down the Third Day rabbit hole, my friends. Any time I could see them, I saw them. I had a lot of shit going on in my life having moved in with my dad and antifreeze sister being abusive and bat shit crazy — Third Day got me through that shit.

Then, sometime around 2000 or maybe 2001, an AMAZING THING HAPPENED. I won a sweepstakes to go see them on tour! I got go to Phoenix Arizona. I met the band saw them there. Then we went to California and saw them there! I even got a prize package and spending money. It was fucking awesome! I took mom with me. They lost my luggage so I wore this shirt for like the whole time:

Obviously, the trip was amazing. We got to see new places and meet lots of cool people. And of course, see my favorite band of all time, TWICE. I mean they were probably creeped out that I had seen them double digits of times — but considering the second winner was a couple who didn’t even know any of their music, I think they were at least glad a fan won. Also a fan who was prolific on their message boards so every night I got online and gave all the fans a recap of the days events. I remember Tai Anderson even asked which one of us was the one posting on the message boards — yeah, that’s me. I got to dip my toes in the Pacific at the beach too!

After that, mom became a die hard fan. I think it was what really bonded mom and I. We hadn’t been close before that. But that coinciding with me moving away and getting a fuck ton of therapy years later helped us become great friends. So after that trip, we’d go to all their concerts together. Yes, I have everything they’ve ever put out — including the rare stuff from before they became known. I was that kind of fan. Mom had all of their CDs and played them constantly.

So imagine our heartbreak when they announced their farewell tour in 2018. Of course we went though. I had actual job money by then so we went to see them at the Fox Theater in Atlanta. And I treated us to a swanky swank hotel room directly across the street with a view of the theater. You might recognize this photo from her service and as the one I have framed in our bedroom. That’s her looking out at the theater:

And then here’s pictures of us before the show and during the show. Last time we got to see them ever 🙁

RIP, Mom. We played Third Day music at her funeral. She was a bigger fan than I was. I loved their early more rock music and she loved their later more worship music. We just loved going to see them whenever we could though.

So then this week it pops up that they’re doing a tour? It’s not until next year but the presale started today. Well, I don’t know who I’m going with, but I got two tickets:

They have a Birmingham show and a Nashville show. With all the clusterfuck in Birmingham this week, I was like — um, Nashville please. Don’t know the plan or even who I’ll go with, but I got tickets just in case. The thought of seeing them without mom is super sad — but again, just in case. I got the tickets.

Birthday Trip!

I haven’t seen my bestie M in forever! And I’ve never visited him since he moved away to work in DC. I’ve kept saying I want to, but haven’t made it happen. I never have PTO and money. I’ve also never been to DC. So this year, we’re taking a birthday trip to see him! I’m so excited! Something to look forward to!

Husband and I want to start taking trips being that we’ve been on a single trip alone in our 13 year of marriage. Also since my family fell apart and doesn’t do holidays, maybe take trips those years we would have done Christmas with them. You know, give me some shit to live for and look forward to.

So we were discussing when my long weekends are and I was like lets make something happen this year. So we’re looking at visiting M this year — maybe for Veterans Day because M and I are both November babies. Then maybe Banff Canada next winter. (Husband found Banff and thought I’d like it cause it looks like a castle. And you can see the Northern Lights from there and that’s a bucket list for me). And then maybe finally take our damn honeymoon for a 15th anniversary in 2027.

So… BIRTHDAY TRIP! I get to see M’s cats and meet his new half feral friend, Ivar. And see his house! I hope Fenrir will come sleep in the bed with me. Fenrir is snuggly.

Husband wants to drive up so we might take 2 days for travel both ways with a solid three in the middle for time with M and museums. He wants to see the space and flight museum and I want to go to the Smithsonian and the Art Museum. With this fucking government mess, I do NOT care to see any of that shit right now.

So this is what’s happening with me.

Posted on June 11, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

I wanted to text my friends to let them know my drama cause I know it’s unhealthy to just bottle shit up and die.

I also wanted to send my brother in law and sister in law a very abridged version so everyone can keep my mother in law from asking me about it.

Then I thought, I’ll just post my trauma! Link the friends and cut it down for the in laws. I’m so smart!

First we gotta background this shit.

So like two years ago (maybe less?) my dad almost died from an infected ball hair. He’s super diabetic cause he doesn’t take care of himself. And then when his doctor was like, “you a diabetic.” He literally told us all “you’re not really a diabetic until you’re on insulin.” So naturally, he ended up needing insulin. But he still never took care of himself. And diabetics don’t handle infections well. So he ends up hospitalized for an unknown infection. It took days to find because I guess no one looked at his balls. Which, fair, makes sense, really.

Anyway, he almost died. And my family was insistent that someone needed to be with him 24 hours a day. So shifts were arranged via group texts.

I live 90 miles away with a full time job. Not to mention I don’t even like that bastard, so I’m not taking a shift.

Then after, I think, 2 months in the hospital he was sent to a super posh rehab. Like live music in the cafeteria and golf having rehab. But apparently, he needed multiple visitors per day because he thinks we’ve abandoned him.

Did I mention I hate this bastard?

So for months, I’m getting multiple texts PER DAY making arrangements to baby him (his dogs even visited every day). And my mental health is suffering and I’m just becoming enraged at the lengths everyone has to go through for this son of a bitch.

So I vent to my brother’s wife. She tells me, they (my siblings) fully expect me to help so if I’m not going to, I need to let them know and to be asked to be removed from the chats. That’s reasonable.

NOTE: While venting about this my brother yells at me that SOMEONE’S IN THE HOSPITAL! Keep that in mind for later.

So that’s when my family disowned me. It was very hard but I accepted this was the price of mental health. Later, I made up with my brother because I like him. He was more chill once things settled down. Also, he’s hosted the last two Thanksgiving’s and I’m the only one in my family who showed up. Well, one sister was at the last one. But considering they live within sight of his house on the same block, fuck that.

So now we’re up to this year. My father still won’t take care of his health. He won’t do stretches or try to be more mobile. So he can’t put on socks. So he just wears his old shoes without socks. And gets a blister. His girlfriend notices it when she’s taking care of him and cleans it up. Then goes to work. Comes back the next day and it’s clearly red. Yep, infection. So he goes to the hospital. Infection went to the bone so they amputated half his foot.

Now remember how I said note my brother’s anger at me bowing out last time? Well my brother’s family wouldn’t be involved this time. They haven’t seen him in over a year because he disowned THEM. Yep. Even though they took care of him when he was dying. And my brother’s wife is venting about how angry my sister is that they aren’t helping and I was just like “welcome to my side. The side of the evil assholes.” You give everything and it’s not going to be good enough. This man won’t even talk to MY NEPHEWS.

Ok, you are mostly caught up.

Last month, so less than a month ago, husband and I go down there for my nephews highschool graduation. My sister and dads girlfriend are the only ones taking care of him because literally everyone else on earth hates him. You see any friends? I don’t.

Sister says he’s doing really bad mentally so I begrudgingly go by to say hello. He was very weak and frail. Can’t get up or down by himself. They have to take him to the toilet. Really nursing home territory, but you tell my miserable sister that. Anyway we did our due diligence. Which oddly enough, means we had seen him more recently than my bro or my other sister.

Semi relevant – last week was OTHER sisters birthday. So I called. Good God, what a mistake. Stuck on the phone for two hours and just sent me into a complete mental spiral downward. SHE LOST HER JOB! She finally had a job and an apartment and she lost it and can’t afford her rent and IM THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THIS SHIT STORM IS COMING.

Very dark place mentally. Husband is my rock though. It’s not my business. Stay out of it. Maybe just never talk to your sisters. Reasonable suggestion.

Back to dad. Now we’ve known that he needs 24 hours care and my sister and the girlfriend have been doing it. If they can’t, they have to hire a nurse or sitter. Sister has posted this drama all over social media. But she never asked for help or money. My brother’s wife even offered to go clean her house or dog-sit for my sister. But she wouldn’t help with dad because dad kinda hates her whole family.

Then last week (I just checked my phone, so not even a week ago), sister texts that she’s hiring hospice to help with dad. Good. They need some help. Everyone texts that their condolences blah blah.

BTW, no one even knows other sister is unemployed and should probably be helping out…

Then she sends a very long text about how heartbroken and beaten down she is that all of this has been on her shoulders and we’re all pieces of shit and she’s spent her savings on dad and blah blah.

I mean, fair for me, but you never asked for help much less money from anyone. Also, you don’t have to be the one taking care of him. Let his girlfriend do it. Or better yet, a nice nursing home! Somehow you are the entire codependent triangle AT THE SAME TIME. Rescuer – Victim – Prosecutor. Like I’ve been in therapy 20 years trying to break this triangle and you just like made it your triforce. Well done.

Well, my brother’s wife shot back that she’s reached out to help numerous times, just not willing to help directly with dad. That was that.

So this whole time sister has been slapping this drama on social media and how she’s all alone in this. Hell, my fucking mother in law even asked about it last weekend.

Like I’ve tried to explain “disowned” to her for two years but she just doesn’t get it.

Then yesterday, I happen to hop on Facebook. I don’t do that daily anymore. (Note, my brother isn’t even on Facebook.) There’s a post there by my sister tagging my father announcing that he is dying. She’s tagging him in it so his friends that wish to say goodbye can come do so.

What the fuck? You just not gonna tell anyone?

So I screenshot it and send it to my brother’s wife cause I ain’t calling my crazy sister. She’s in jury duty so she sends it to my brother and tells him to go over there and see what is going on. (They haven’t seen Dad in over a year as were dads wishes). So I call my brother and I tell him about how I knew he’d been in decline but when we saw him he was perfectly lucid and to let me know what’s going on.

So they (brother and his wife) call me last night. Yep, he dying. Well, maybe?

Apparently, this weekend he just started to decline rapidly and they don’t know why. But he’s on hospice so it’s not like he’s going to the doctor. They have him in a hospital bed and he can’t get up or move. You can barely understand him. They think he’s got days. His girlfriend says it’s like he just doesn’t want to live anymore. He won’t eat. They’re having to change his diapers. He’s in tons of pain. Apparently, he’s confused and asking for people who aren’t there.

So…

Um…

What do I do here, exactly?

They invited me to stay at their place if I want to come down this weekend which I suppose I kinda have to. Like not for that asshole, dad. But for my siblings. I love my brother.

My sister will hate me no matter what and she needs someone to hate so OK.

They said I should call my sister (I’m the one who told THEM but I didn’t call my sister who told Facebook he’s dying but not his family). I called. She didn’t answer. I texted. No text back. Actually, last week I texted her after her text rant that I wanted to send her some diamond art coasters that is a very mindless zen art project she could easily pick up and put down. Never got a reply. I’m telling y’all, hates me. I told her I’d try to call again today. I’ll do that when I get home and have husband support.

As for visiting, I don’t know? I mean… I guess? Husband thinks the best thing to do is follow brothers lead. Husband also points out that we don’t even know what things will look like this weekend (as in how fast is he declining?). He could also just be like this for years, who the hell knows?

Brother thinks it will be soon though. So like I guess go down and take his favorite cake (since he apparently won’t eat). But like we’re just gonna be there awkwardly standing around? Will he even recognize us? And hate will be oozing from my sister.

I just don’t know. What a cluster fuck.

I asked them if we should call other sister (WHO NO ONE KNOWS DOESN’T HAVE A JOB) and none of us wanted to do that. Even brother was like “she’ll see it on Facebook.”

Oh what a fucked up family situation.

IM IN METAL DISTRESS. TELL MY MOTHER IN LAW I DON’T WANT TO BE ASKED ABOUT IT. This is not the time to try to explain these crazy ass dynamics to someone who hasn’t figured out what a carb is for 8 years and doesn’t understand that they hate me.

So this is 85% of my brain capacity right now. I’ve got stress tummy. I’m just trying to get through my day. Do I call? Do I visit? I DON’T KNOW. What gets me judged as least evil, I guess?

And everyone always says I’ll regret not forgiving my father but even if I were capable of that, it’s kinda too late. And I ain’t anywhere near that. His chances died with my mother.

…Or maybe when he killed my dog, Smokey, and laughed about it, there was just no coming back.

But he can never make amends to my mother and I hate him more for that than anything else.

UPDATE: Oh fuck me. Ok.

*C is the miserable sister taking care of dad.

*J is the loser sister who doesn’t have a job.

*H is my brother’s wife.

I just talked to H. C texted J to ask why she wasn’t visiting. (Also, somehow they know she doesn’t have a job). J asked why she needed to. C says he’s dying. J says she might come tomorrow.

H calls J. J says she doesn’t have a job and doesn’t have gas money. H says she’ll pay for her gas, she needs to see dad. Then…

J goes on a rant about how C’s stress is more important HER stress (it is). And says she might as well just drink antifreeze and let us smell her body.

H was like, I just didn’t even respond.

How do you even begin to explain this shit to anyone?

UPDATE 2: Welp. I’m here. Brother called at 3am and said the end is nigh. So I came down.

Unfortunately, J is here too. She won’t talk to anyone but I guess the antifreeze thing didn’t pan out. Which , really? You live in an apartment and don’t take care of your car. You don’t have antifreeze. You’re too lazy to go get it and too broke to buy it. What a stupid suicide threat. And also, you live in an apartment, we would just get a phone call after they cleaned up your biohazard ass.

Oh my lord, how could you even begin to explain these dynamics to anyone?

I came for my brother. Also, no one can say I didn’t come.

Fox News is on the TVs. So that’s fun.

I activated my support network this morning. I’m not sad, but I God I gotta keep the crazy out.

Get in, loser.

Posted on June 7, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I took Louie to the Chicken Salad Chick drive thru. It’s for enrichment. He’s very good in his carrier.

He doesn’t like being out of the carrier when the car is moving. However once we were in the drive thru and I rolled down the window, he wanted to go see the lady. Not a big wrestling kind of thing, just a gentle nudge to sit back down.

“I smell outside smells!” *Gentle nudge*.

“Oh shit, a stranger?” *Gentle nudge*.

“She wants to love me.” *Gentle nudge*.

Then I parked to text people photos:

Then I started driving again and he was like fuck this shit, so I had to show him back to his carrier for the ride home (3 miles).

A+ experience. I’m hoping this will have worn him out enough for our guest to play Firefly without being eaten alive feet first.

Fucking Life BS

Posted on June 4, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

First, I would like to start off with a fuck you to Facebook who wants me to update this fun frivolous photo of my dead mother laughing with a funny pool float she bought during her last summer on this Earth.

Also, work sucks. You know, status quo, now. We’ve met about half of our “must eliminate ” quota from this fine government regime. Only 323 more positions to eliminate. They’ll all take the buy out, right? Right? Even though literally no one is hiring right now? It’s totally gonna be fine.

Also, I called my sister for her birthday. Man that put me in a dark place. Like just threw me back into that born-and-raised Codependent Life. I resisted any urge to reach out to any other family. To try and hedge against the tsunami coming. To warn them. To yell OH MY GOD WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN? To gossip.

I do feel that codependency guilt. Like a lot. I’m not OK. But my husband is giving me strength to keep my mouth shut and stay out of that business. Not my business.

But like isn’t it? Now I’m just feeling even more guilty about all the BS shoved on my family. But like, they don’t HAVE to pick up the bullshit. If anything, my brother and his family proved that this year. They were shunning my cold heartedness last time dad almost died and babysitting him 24/7. They have completely abstained this time. So like, it can be done by not JUST me. SIL is talking about how sister is mad at her for not helping. Yeah, welcome to my world. Y’all sure judged me last time. See how it is?

Ugh. Family trauma. Dead mom. POS dad keeps almost dying and now needs 24/7 care but only his girl friend and one sister are taking care of him and they’re drowning. And of course very resentful of the rest of us.

And now the rest of this other sister bullshit is coming at them and they don’t even know it’s coming. ONLY I KNOW.

I mean at least no one’s gonna ask us for money. Husband got laid off and the entire US wants me to lose my job and y’all voted for it. So nope, we poor. Keep off the lawn.

Speaking of lawn, there was a turtle in the yard today.

That is all.

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend.

Posted on May 28, 2025 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

Yall know I don’t like the dark. I have night lights. I have flashlights everywhere. I don’t do darkness. I don’t want no demons looking at me from the closet or be looking out a window and seeing a face looking back at me. Hell no. I like the light.

I don’t like being able to see out of dark windows. That’s why there’s an arbor by the “cat window” with solar lights on it. That window scared me. I fixed it. If I’m home alone, I might close the curtains to the back — though less so now that I have so many solar lights out there.

All this to say, I don’t like dark.

About two nights ago, I was getting ready for bed. I don’t know what I was doing — I might have been tossing some recycling into the garage. Cleaning the litterbox, putting my stuff by the door for going to work in the morning — that kind of stuff. I noticed Louie looking out the back door. He loves to look out windows, no big deal. But he was looking pretty focused. I keep doing my thing and now he’s looking out the window by the door. I ask him what he’s looking at. Then he’s going between the window and door quickly, very clearly looking at something and trying to get the best angle. I did not like this. What are you looking at out there in the dark?

Of course I was scared to look. What if there’s a person out there looking back at me!? At least I knew I had the pool gates locked. So I opted to bravely tell my husband the cat is looking at something and I’m concerned to make light of it. Husband did not come to my rescue.

After I finished everything up, I have no more excuses. I gotta look. So I grab my cellphone and turn on the “flashlight” setting. He’s looking out the door at this point so I go over to the door and bend down to his level and shine my light out. I don’t see anything… AND THEN HIS REFLECTION MOVES.

No, not Louie. Louie’s looking outside. The reflection looking back at me looked up at me! “IT’S A CAT!” I yelled up to my husband because it gave me a jump scare. My yelling gave the strange cat a jump scare. It retreated to the sidewalk as I called for husband to come see. I don’t know why. It was a cat sort of like Louie in that it was mostly white with darker spots on top. Though it was a long haired cat. I was like “LOUIE! You couldn’t say something? You’re just gonna stare at it face to face!” He’s trying to give me a heart attack.

Upstairs as I was getting into my PJs, it occurred to me that being from a cat cafe, strange cats aren’t strange to Louie. So I guess that’s why he didn’t make a peep. He just watched. But they were face to face at the door. I literally thought the other cat was Louie’s reflection. No tail swishing, hissing, meowing, chittering — just staring.

No wonder there are racoon foot prints all over my fence. Louie probably just thinks there’s a funny looking cat out there!

Meet Darkness, Louie’s friend: