Author: cursingcats.com

Joys of Home Ownership

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Yall. Since we built the expensive BEAUTIFUL deck, house stuff just keeps popping up! We’ve had a lot of rain recently so I took a pool sample to the pool store to get it professionally tested. I needed some acid anyway. Well, actually I had ordered some acid and put it in the night before. We’ll get to that. They showed my salt level as way off from what my sensor was telling me. So I asked if it needed to be re-calibrated or something. The guy didn’t know shit, so whatever. I asked about the Ph because I put acid in the previous night. Long story short, I looked at Amazon to verify what I ordered (because it did seem more fine than the acid I usually use) and I had ordered Ph PLUS. The exact opposite of what I needed to put in. So yeah, I bought a huge bucket of acid so not a worthless trip.

I called my pool guy about the sensor being off. He said the salt cell might be dirty or nearing end-of-life which is usually about 6 years. Well, this is our 8th year. So awesome. Thankfully, I panic searched and a new salt cell is only about $1,000 when I thought they were $6,000. Still not good. Pool guy came and he said it is near end of life, but it’s still working fine, only a little off. I asked him about the pool store results. He said the pool was probably just super diluted from the rain when I got my sample. I don’t buy that, but OK. Also, I ordered an electric water tester for salt and Ph levels. I asked him if I should replace the salt cell. He said I should wait until next Spring or just wait until It dies completely. Which was great news! And he didn’t even charge me for coming out since he said he was on my side of town anyway. I love pool guy. This was twoish weeks ago.

Today, I’m in the office and I get an automated call from the security company. These are always a nightmare because I screen my calls and the robotic voice mispronounces everything so the transcript is insane shit. However, I recognized this style of insane shit and picked up in time to request a text of the info. My security system sent out a low battery signal. So I call the company and ask whats up. She just reads me the error message. Yeah, I caught that. Where is the battery? What kind of battery does it need? She said she can forward me to the service department. OK. She forwards me to the exact same number I just called with the same options. So I choose request service this time instead of customer service. I have to go through all my info. Phone number? Address? Name? Security code? Whats the problem? Yeah I see it sent out a low battery signal. I KNOW. Where is the battery? It’s in the system box. It’s a metal box. OK, what type of battery does it need? You’ll need to look at it to see.

I’m gonna admit, I’m pretty pissed about this. I’m not home. I need to know what battery to buy. I didn’t install this system nor do I own the components. They installed it and I kinda rent it from them. Shouldn’t they know what system I have? Shouldn’t they be able to look up the system components? So I ask if they can just send me a battery. She says they can, but it would be cheaper to get one at Lowes or Home Depot. Again, this is stupid because I don’t even own this shit.

So husband had been texting while I was on the phone. Turns out, here at home, the security system was going nuts. I tell him the problem and ask him to look for the battery. Surprisingly, he does. Usually, he would tell me he’ll do it later or tell me I can look when I get home. But he sure did go get a screw driver to look. And this isn’t the kind of stuff he’s great with. Also, there’s a lot of “metal boxes” in that closet. It’s like our wiring hub for everything in the house. So it wasn’t in his first box choice. Fail. Turns out it was in his second choice! A big ass battery. So he sends me a picture of said battery.

It is not in stock at Lowes, Home Depot, or Walmart. I’m not too disappointed because I really didn’t want to go to any of these places anyway. So I ordered one online. It’ll be here Saturday. I pray the security system doesn’t go nuts every day until it is replaced.

Then I get a doorbell ring on my phone from my spiffy new Ring doorbell. It’s the lawn guy. We don’t have a mower, so we pay a guy to mow our yard. I figure he wants his check. So I call husband who is at home. He doesn’t answer. I assume husband must be napping and text lawn guy that I can be home in 15 minutes to get his check (I was about to leave work anyway). Then husband calls and tells me that lawn guy says one of the pool pipes had burst and is gushing water. WHAT THE FUCK? NOT MY POOL! So I tell husband how to shut off the pump (he has never touched the pool equipment. That’s my area) and rush home.

Yep. One of the connectors to the salt cell that was cleaned 2 weeks ago has completely fractured. Our pool equipment is facing South and gets burning heat in full sun all day. So it does a number on the PVC and shit. The connector had cracked completely and come undone. So I ask lawn guy if this is where the water was coming from. It was. I fire it back up to verify. It won’t get suction. Probably because the pool has lost 3 inches of water and is now below the skimmers. So it’s pulling air from the skimmers, not water. *Sigh*

I gotta go to the grocery store anyway or I won’t have lunch tomorrow. So I text pool guy a picture of the problem. Thankfully he calls me and says he can just replace that connector. I ask about the pipes because lawn guy thinks we’ll need to replace the whole section of pipe. Pool guys says we just need a new connector and he probably even has some laying around. He’s going to try to come over tomorrow and replace it. However, he works all over our region so he really has no idea where his job will take him tomorrow. I told him if he can’t make it, let me know and I’ll go buy some shock and dump it in the pool. I can’t have a freaking algae bloom or something because I can’t run the pump.

So I’m thinking when we get a new pump (it is inevitable), maybe I’ll build some shade over all that equipment. It would probably be good for the equipment. Also, I get sunburned almost every time I’m over there cleaning it. It’s in direct sun and hot as fuck. Then I thought — that sunsail was cheap as fuck… what If I just get a little sunsail for the side of the house? It was kind of a joke but I really thought about it while I was in the shower and I’m seriously considering it for next year when we get the new salt cell. It wouldn’t need super high posts like the one for the deck so I could install those that myself with some friend help to dig the post holes. I could totally get a little square beige one just to cover the equipment. Hell, If I got a longer rectangle, it could even cover the downstairs HVAC unit. Might be good for it too…

Proud of myself for getting shit done.

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First, let’s get this out of the way. I have clothes in the dryer I haven’t put up for two weeks. OK, onto the good!

Saturday, I got our new Ring camera up and going. I was very pleased with myself. I’ve missed having the camera. I’ve meant to replace it because they are 1,000% worth it! So when they were $100 off for Amazon Prime Day, I had to pounce. I’m super happy with the improvements to the Ring Pro too. Here’s what I had to say about it on facebook: “This is a newer version than I had. I’m pleased with some of the changes (over 7 years). There is far less packaging, for one. I also like that they don’t include all the faceplates anymore. That was so wasteful (my previous Ring Pro came with 4 different colored faceplates). You can still order one free faceplate, but now you don’t have that waste. They also include a wedge mount now, which nearly everyone needs (I bought a different one not knowing). They also include the pro power kit with it. Previously, this was an add on that nearly everyone needed. It was free, but you had to call customer service to troubleshoot and find out you needed it and then wait for it to arrive.”

Sunday, I got some more cleaning done in the garage! I’m super proud of myself for having finally collapsed all the huge boxes that were pilling up in there. So this weekend, I immediately collapsed the huge ladder box I had delivered, AND broke down the TV box since it’s warranty expired last year. I put ALL that cardboard in my car so I could get rid of it. I listed it with my old wheelbarrow on facebook market place and got rid of it all today! I was able to move around the “gardening and tools” area in the garage too. Lots of leaf blowing. Looks so much better. I also took the long broken hose reel off the wall. There just needs to be a hose pot in there. I’ll get a nicer one for the deck and move that one in there eventually. Clean garage makes me happy. Only area left to clean is my stained glass desk.

Speaking of the new ladder… I had to get it out to the garage. So I figured, why not use it to put the cap on the sunsail post before I put it away? So First thing this morning, I did it. I climbed up HIGHER than my 6 foot fence on a ladder! It’s still not painted (and won’t be until it’s had at least one month to dry out). It will be painted brown like the fence. But even with just the cap on top, it looks a lot better.

My new ladder is heavy and a little unwieldy. A lot of Amazon reviews complained about that. But if my 254lb ass if going to climb up a ladder, I want it to feel sturdy! Was it a pain? Yes. Do I hate climbing ladders, hell yes. But once I got to the height I needed, I was pretty comfortable up there. I didn’t feel like I was going to break the ladder and die. So A+! I even had to climb higher than the bend joint! So I feel like when I have to paint it, it won’t be the end of me.

The sunsail is already ready for a bit of tightening but I have no idea how I’ll be able to access the ratchets since they’re not at the anchors, but in the middle of the wires. I think I’ll text my neighbors and see who has a giant A-Frame…

REVELATION! A few hours after writing this, I had a look at the post and looked at the pictures from the previous post. It’s such a pretty deck. And I realized — holy shit. So I have a ladder that can now easily reach the mount points when we need to take the sail down for winter. The problem is, the ratchets are in the middle of the lines. So, like, we’ll need an A frame to reach those. And someone will have to be standing on a ladder with two hands doing the ratchet. UNLESS! I can take the corner down — take my time to get it safely shortened, and then rehang it! I’M A GENIUS!

WE HAVE A DECK!

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on WE HAVE A DECK!

So back in June, I told yall we were building a deck (click here if you missed it). And now a month later, we have a deck! It’s awesome!

When we built our pool, we did the regular concrete surround (a certain allotment comes with your pool installation). To fill in the rest of the fenced in area, we used a 2-inch rock mix. (Maybe it was bigger than 2 inches?). We have regretted this ever since. What a fucking terrible idea. They didn’t put anything under the rocks, so weeds just grow right up through them! And in the Fall, all the leaves and crap fall and it’s near impossible to clean out. Even if you spend hours with a rake and leaf blower, it has never looked 10% as good as when it was first installed (It did look wonderful when it was first put down).

The weeds are murder. There’s nothing to do for them. I’ve tried all the home remedies to kill them. For 7 summers when we clean the salt cell with acid, we dump the bucket on the rocks. Fucking morning glory vines still grow there! (In fact, there’s a little morning glory growing there right now peaking out under the new deck stair). The only thing to kill them is the purple Round Up. And that shit’s a hundred dollars a bottle (The purple is much more concentrated than the others). I mix in even more concentrated than the instructions call for. This takes about 2 weeks to fully kill shit. But you know what? It’s still there. Now it’s just brown.

This year, as they were opening the pool (I have a pool guy come remove the safety cover and start it up for me — then he comes back in Fall to close it), I sprayed Round Up. It was nice having someone out there to chat with while I worked. Problem: Poison Ivy. This is the first year Poison Ivy has shown up in the rocks. And I am INSANELY allergic to that shit. I can’t even be around when people are doing yard work because the oils in the air will get on me. So even though it’s been dead for two months, I can’t even weed eat to knock it down. I just call that corner the “Corner of Poor Unfortunate Souls” now. So that really put an impetus on the whole “we need a deck” thing. Anyway, so here’s the before:

That picture is actually it looking really good. That’s after I did the first Round Up and killed everything off. I even already have my plants up on the stairs. I specifically took this picture as a “before shot” when I found out we were building a deck. As you can see, I had to move all the stuff that was over there so they could build. Also worth noting, this square is the WORST for weeds. It must have the perfect combo of sun and water because it’s usually solid morning glory (that’s what you see already coming back under the gutter spout). I actually think it looks so good because I had put down a rug/mat and put my hammock over there. As seen in this post. I love my new hammock. So it didn’t get enough sunlight under that huge mat.

Anyway… this is what it looks like NOW:

Just LOOK at all that usable space! It’s HUGE. It’s something like 21 feet deep and maybe 23ish wide? As you can see, we not only went over the rocks, we took it all the way to the stairs so there wouldn’t be a weird concrete “alley” there. Here’s some side by side before and afters:

They did AN AMAZING job. We had discussed doing the rock square and then cutting over to the stairs — like an “L” shape. But look how he built it out like a giant rectangle with the corner off. It looks so much better than having it cut back in an “L.” Also creates even MORE usable space.

You know, I never realized that we didn’t have a ton of space around the pool. It’s always been fit for needs. When we have parties, we set all the chairs up around the tanning ledge half circle. That’s where everyone puts their stuff and everyone congregates. Now though, this is amazing! We had family over for July 4th and I got out 5 folding chairs to put out and brought over two more umbrellas. Plenty of room:

The other day, K and K2 were over and K2 and I were eating lunch — she sitting by the hammock and me in the hammock chair. K was laying out on a pool float. We still had tons of room for people to join us. Hell, that rug/mat is a 9×12 foot rug!

I also moved my plants off of the stoop and onto the deck. I didn’t think they made the stoop look crowded before, but now everything looks so much more… spread out. Nothing is crowded. There’s SPACE.

And yall, those rocks don’t count as space. You can’t walk on them barefoot. You can’t even really walk on them in flip flops. They’re just too painful. So my hammock chair has always been on the rocks, but I had those four concrete stepping stones to it and under it so you didn’t have to walk on rocks. Now those stepping stones are by the deck to get to the gate.

It’s so amazing to just walk out and sit in the hammock. Even if I don’t want to get out the hammock pad for the super nice full size hammock. I can sit in my hammock chair for a few minutes after watering the flowers or something. It’s just so luxurious compared to what we had. It’s so NICE. Like we have a gorgeous pool. Premium Hydrazzo aggregate finish — gorgeous tanning ledge — full width stairs. It’s a damn nice pool. Now we have the space to spread out by it to match! I mean the rest of the rocks still look like shit, but don’t look over there. You can just walk around. Hell, even after I empty my skimmers into my bucket and go to toss the leaves over the fence, now I don’t have to tiptoe over rocks to do it. I just step up on the desk and toss it over the fence. LUXURY, Yall.

I even got a weatherproof storage box/bench for my hammock pad and a few chairs (also the mosquitos coils and stuff goes in there). And do you see the beautiful sun sail!?

So Husband asked how we would shade it. I said eventually, we could get a sunsail. So I pulled them up to show him what I was talking about. Holy shit, why are sunsails so cheap? That sunsail there is 20x20x28 feet with a full three year warranty for $65 (Amazon link, now it’s $60 plus 5% off). So fuck yeah, we went ahead and bought one. We went ahead and had the builder install a 6×6 anchor post on the other side of the fence and hang it for us. Now, I knew he’d do a good job hanging it – better than I could hire anyone else to do it. He used 9 inch bolts to attach the anchors to the house where the second floor floor-joists are so it aint going anywhere. Now, did I know he was going to charge $300 to hang that sail (in ADDITION to the $300 to install the anchor post) — NO. No, I did not. But anyway — moving on.

I was actually going to get grey or beige but when I asked Husband what color we should get, he said a bright one. Weird for him, but OK! And I LOVE IT. I think it looks fantastic. I’m so happy with it. Unfortunately, due to the curvature on the sail to keep it taught, it’s not actually nearly as big as a perfect 20x20x28 triangle would be. However, where the full sized hammock is remains shaded all day from sun up to sun down. I did not get a waterproof sail because of wind and tiki torch smoke. Mostly tiki torch smoke. If you know, you know. So when I saw that it was just a lightish weave, I was afraid it wouldn’t be shady enough — but it totally is! It says it blocks 95% of UV rays and I believe it. It’s so nice laying in the hammock and looking up at the bright teal and hearing the pool bubblers.

I moved my plants out there too. They had been up on the stoop by the door. They look so good against the dark fence! The bright colors of the coleus really pop! I put the fern by the stair to kind emphasize that stair edge there. I’ve since added a lavender plant from Publix and a tropical looking plant from the nursery. No, I don’t know what the tropical looking plant is. It’s cool and has big leaves. It’s tropical. Speaking of, tomorrow I need to remember to drill a drainage hole in that plant stand. It was full from the rain this week.

But yeah — my deck is AWESOME. I’m so happy about it. I’ll have to get up early this weekend and enjoy my hammock before it gets too hot. Sunday should be great for a pool day! Maybe husband will come sit in the hammock and read to keep me company for a bit?

I’m told to give it at LEAST one month to dry out before we finish it. I’m going to use a sealant/finish combo and make it like a greige color. Have to protect the investment! That shit’s expensive.

Oh, and I didn’t want to pay to move my pool filler’s shut off valve. Because, why? The builder was like, we can just move that. I was like no. I’m not paying for that. So we made a cute little trap door in the deck that you can pick up to access the shut off valve. I currently have a spare key on the pool fence in a lock box. I’m thinking of moving it to install it on the bottom of my trap door. Just for funzies. It’s like a little secret.

Dammit.

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Holy. Shit. So I’m reading Reddit, like I do. It’s a story about malicious compliance. Basically, this guy was getting overheated working and went to get water and his dick manager said no. So he went back to work and purposefully had a heat stroke.

Anyway, in the comments, people were talking about heat intolerance and how every time something like that happens, it can get worse and you tolerate heat less and less. And I’m like wait, tell me more.

Symptoms:

* feeling very hot in moderately warm temperatures

* excessive sweating

* not sweating enough in the heat

* exhaustion and fatigue during warm weather

* nausea, vomiting, or dizziness in response to heat

* changes in mood when too hot

What the fucking fuck! I have all of those except for the not sweating one which is canceled out by the excessive sweating one!

I have literally been diagnosed with sun poisoning before. Twice, random strangers have stopped me, sat me down and brought me water because I looked like I was gonna pass out (once at the ice cream place with friends — but we were by the drive thru so the heat exhaust from the cars was on me PLUS Alabama summer. A lady took me to a bench and sat me down and bought me a water. Then another time, I was leaving a grocery store and someone stopped me to ask if I was OK. I sat down on the curb and they went and got me water and ice).

I’m ALWAYS HOT. I just bought a fan for my desk and told Husband TODAY and K yesterday (she recommended the fan I bought) how pleased I am to have a nice fan blowing on me at work now.

And yall, KNOW I get angry when I’m hot and thirsty like no ones business.

The other day, Husband’s sister, was talking about working in a room with no AC and how she was pretty much OK until it hit 88 and I was like, no shit I WOULD DIE. No way could I work in 80 degrees. No way. And K and K2 can tell yall how I’m basically a water fountain when I work out.

So now I’m like worried, what causes this? They’re talking about underlying conditions — I don’t have diabetes. I am fat — but this was a problem when I was 175 too. I distinctly remember being crazy bitter that everyone said I’d be cold all the time when I lost weight and I WASN’T.

Husband can attest to being freezing in a robe while I have the fan turned on pointed directly at my face in a tank top.

Parkinsons? MS? Gillion Barre?

Graves disease.

Oh FUCK YOU.

Well. I guess now at least we know why I’m hot all the time. I swear to God last time I slept at the InLaw’s it was winter in the NE and I cracked the window and slept under my light weight fuzzy blanket.

I’m not crazy! Just Graves. Awesome.

Reuse and Recycle

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So I’ve been taking excellent care of my tattoo. Only the best lotions and sunscreens. Long sleeves if I’m swimming. Excellent care.

So it occurred to me, I could actually take care of my face too. Right now, in mid summer, my face doesn’t look terrible. That’s because it seems swimming in the pool helps my complexion. Usually though, I have zits and tons of ingrown hairs. PCOS gives me chin and lip and sideburn hair that has to be shaved daily. Every day. So when there’s a zit or something, there’s never time for it to heal. It’s getting shaved over every single day. I don’t wear makeup daily so this makes me very self conscious.

I’ve also got a secret, I don’t use lotion. Yep (or nope?) I never developed a skin care regimen. I don’t even know where to start. But like, I decided I should try it on my face. So I went through all the subscription box stuff I just tossed in drawers over the years and googled easy facial routines. Now I’m doing a routine. Evening: Wash, Toner, Serum, Lotion. Morning: Wash, Lotion with sunscreen. I’m so fancy! So apparently you need cotton rounds to apply toner. So I bought some. But like, these are ugly. How shall I store this?

Oh yeah. That’s right. I’ve been married over a decade, and I finally have a good use for my old leather condom box. Magnificent. I’m so chuffed with my condom box.

Anyway, I’m making an effort here. Does anyone have any advice for sunscreen lotion? I bought some for $18 and it burns my eyes just like every god damn sunscreen I’ve ever put on my face. The only sunscreen I can use on my face is Sun Bum stick. It’s so solid that it doesn’t move or sweat. It’s on ’til you wipe that shit off. Everything else eventually ends up in my eye corners and burns! Help!

Wednesday. Fucking Wednesday.

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I gotta get this written out before I forget everything that happened Wednesday. Thankfully, I texted my husband a lot so I have notes.

So Wednesday did not start out great. I fell asleep after turning off my alarms. I was having a semi-bad dream. I say semi-bad because it’s pretty norm. For some reason a big ongoing thing in my dreams is always my car brakes not working. Not necessarily a complete failure but being where I’m standing on the brake pedal trying to come to a complete stop but still having a slow roll and can’t stop on point. So I was giving a new coworker a ride home. She had a downward slopped drive and I couldn’t stop soon enough and just barely bumped her bros car. No damage, but I feel like shit so I agree to at least get them dinner. So I’m going to order them pizza. Oddly I remember that one of the pizzas was a dessert pizza that had Andes Mints and sesame seeds. My husband loves Andes Mints.

So I drive away and decide to pull over to order the pizzas. I pull over at Bass Pro Shops — but it was a tiny one. Then I hear a meow in the back seat.

JACK!?

I literally woke up and screamed “Jack!?”

OK, it wasn’t Jack. Louie was being a good boy and pissed that I was obviously sleeping too late for his favor. So he was meowing at me. Thanks, boy. So I was late to work.

My Wednesdays are oddly slow because it’s the only day I don’t have any set meetings. So work was pretty chill. I decided to argue with Amazon. First, Louie’s treats didn’t arrive. I know it was a lie that they were delivered because it said left on porch by door when they would have fit in my mailbox. Liars. I hope whoever stole my package doesn’t even have a cat! They were cool though and agree to just replace it and sent out some more. They got here today, actually — and IN THE MAILBOX. Thanks Amazon. (BTW, I can only find these treats at Walmart and even then only in Chicken. I can get a variety of three flavors online).

While I was on a roll, I decide to argue my meat sticks case. Listen, I’m not a huge jerky person but I’m keto. So I have found that I like the Jacks Links Pepperoni Beef Sticks. They’re expensive so I order them online as well by the case to save some money. So no surprise that Amazon recommended Jacks Links in Spicy Pepperoni to me. They were half the size so half the price so I used the “buy now” button. I like spicy things.

A week later I get an email that my package is delayed at customs. Wait, what? So I look up my orders and the beef sticks are coming from CANADA. With the hefty shipping fee of $29.00! WTF? I never saw the shipping fee because I used the buy now button. Why would Amazon recommend something from Canada where the shipping is as much as the item? I buy all my shit on Prime shipping for “free.” So I decide to bring it up. I use the chat online feature. Super nice lady Shreya says, it’s cool, they’ll refund the shipping cost. I make sure it’s not on the seller, because it’s Amazons fault — not theirs. I got the product. The problem is it should never have been recommended to me. I was happy for the refund but im skeptical so I screenshot the convo before it went away.

Shreya calms my concerns about the seller suffering by telling me that she “understand[s my] concern. Please do not worry. You’ve my word. You can definitely put your trust in me.” Maybe that’s why I screenshot it. That’s a lot of comfort there, Shreya.

Then I get an email from the seller asking why I want a refund. I look at our conversation history and Customer Service just sent and email that I wanted a refund. He offers me a $15 refund (half shipping). I explain to the seller what happened and that I did not want a refund from them in anyway. This is Amazons fault and they should fix it. I share the screenshot with him as proof and turn down his offer of $15. If Bezos can fly to space with William Shatner in a metal penis, he can damn well honor when his algorithm makes a mistake. Not put it on some poor small business.

So I chat up Customer Service again. This time I have to use a different option to get an agent because I already used “problem with order.” So this time I used “Found cheaper somewhere else” (LIKE AMERICA) and then clicked “other.” I explained the problem to the new chat guy. He gives me a copy paste about how Amazon doesn’t price match. I told him yeah, OK, did you read the messages I sent just now? Motherfucker ENDS CHAT. Hell no.

So I use another option of complaint. This time I request a call. I was on the phone with some Indian guy for a good while. He was nice. Just a lot of putting me on hold, really. I assume he was getting permission to credit me. He said they would credit me $30 to cover the shipping. Awesome. We’ll see if that happens. I emailed the guy and told him what happened and that he should not be asked for any refund for my purchase and to let me know immediately if Amazon tried to pull some shady shit. He thanked me and wished me a good weekend.

During all this I was also fielding calls with my doctors office because my thyroids out of whack. So last appointment we knew it was too high. But like barely too high. So he said, see how you feel. 2 months later and I feel insanely hungry when I shouldn’t and my heart feels funny. One, I don’t like when my heart feels funny. It seems like a bad thing in general. Also my stomach is like EAT, BITCH. And I’m like dude, we had lunch 30 minutes ago! And my stomachs like FUCK YOU! So it’s not even an “I want to eat” — it’s my stomach grumbling for food. So yall need to fix this shit.

This should be simple. I’ve been with my doctor for 20 years. I know the nurse. He told me if I feel off, call and he’ll adjust the dosage. So I call and request A, his nurse. Only the receptionist wants to know EVERY FUCKING DETAIL including drugs and dosages. And she couldn’t spell the drugs either, I had to google them and spell them out for her. You know why? Cause she’s not a nurse, shes a fucking receptionist! So she tells me I’ll have to come in for labs. No, bitch. Have A call me.

So the A calls me and says the idiot didn’t even look over to see that she was just sitting there and could have taken the phone. She tells me that lady is a bit special. I think I might complain that that bitch doesn’t need my private medical history when I call. But anyway, A is on it. New dosage incoming. Gotta pick it up after work. That’s cool cause I need deli meat for my work lunches anyway.

So About an hour before I leave work, I order ahead on the Publix app for my deli meat. I ask my husband if he wants anything so I order him a sub too. They should be ready at 5:30. Sweet. So I get to the store around 6. Oh look whats not ready! I don’t know why they offer order ahead — it’s literally NEVER READY. There wasn’t even a single person in line. They just hadn’t done my order yet. That’s cool. It’s not like this doesn’t always happen. I wait about 5 minutes and then I’m like “hey, can I go get the rest of my groceries and swing back?” They’re cool with that. Awesome.

So I go over to the pharmacy. I had already prepaid and signed for my pills in the app. So I hop over to the “prepaid pickup” area. Does anyone in the pharmacy give a fuck? No. They take care of the entire 3 person line of other customers before they even acknowledge me. ALL I NEED IS YOU TO HAND ME MY BAG. This is why I started texting husband that Publix was trying kill me. Anyway, I get my new thyroid hormones and grab my groceries and head back to the deli.

Husbands sandwich is in the case but not my deli meat. So I ask them about it. “Are you Mrs C?” “Yes” “We’re out of that ham.” I admit I did say “Well, you could have told me that two hours ago” — he replied with “I just got off break maam.” Touche.

Seriously, these people have my phone number. They just had me standing there for over 5 minutes earlier. Then they also had the store speaker but no one tells me they can’t fulfill my order. Now I’m texting husband even more because dammit, I’m not gonna break. So I request a DIFFERENT ham. Wait around and break guy hands me some turkey. I look at it and –seriously very politely – say “Oh hey, this isn’t mine.” He asks again if I’m Mrs C. I say yes. He says this is what I ordered on the app and proceeds to read me the label. I apologize and think maybe I did click the wrong thing on the app so I ask him to give me a minute to pull up my email and see what I ordered (cause if I ordered then wrong thing, fine, I’ll pay for it). But I didn’t.

“Yeah no, I ordered the Boars Head Peppenero Ham and a sub.” “I already told you we’re out of that ham.”

Motherfucker.

I literally texted my husband that I think I’m on a prank show and they’re trying to see how much shit I can take. I tell him I know, that’s why I asked for the Boars Head Garlic Parmesan instead. This is TURKEY. It takes a woman coming out of the cooler to tell him that that’s not mine before he proceeds to actually get me what I’m asking for. Like I’m not even looking at them at this point because I’m texting furiously with my husband trying to keep my cool. I don’t want to yell or become a “Karen.”

So then I head to the registers. There’s two “10 items or less” lanes and one regular lane open. So I head for the regular lane. I’m not gonna be that person with the full cart in the 10 items lane. It’s blocked by a stock trolley full of stock. But the cashier and bagger are sitting there like dumbasses waiting for someone to come up – even though the other lanes have massive lines. There’s actually a lot of workers around so I ask a passing worker if lane two is closed. She looks at the light and the cashier eagerly awaiting customers and cheerily says “no! it’s open!” I’m nearing breaking point so I say, in as fake a positive voice as I can, “then can you have someone move all this SHIT?”

So she goes and gets someone to move it. Here’s how crowded the other lines are. Even though I’m right there and the one who asked for assistance, an old man ducks in there before I can. He looks at me all exasperated and comments how all these workers are just standing around and no one thinks to move that thing!

MOTHERFUCKER, WHY DIDN’T YOU MENTION IT THEN?

By then I had called my husband for emotional support. I told him if the car doesn’t start then I’m just walking home and he can come get this shit. Thankfully the car started, but someone speeding through the parking lot did try to kill me on the way out.

What a long ass week.

Give it to me.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Give it to me.

I went to the Tattoo Expo with K and her boyfriend. I’ve never been to a tattoo expo. We saw some work by legit amazing artists. Then there was one guy who wanted us to get these tiny flash for $200. Are you kidding me? You want to do 10 minutes of line work for $200? NO.

So today ran from 2:00 – midnight. So I figured it would be better in the evening. So we met up at 6:30. And guess what? We missed the good stuff! WHAT THE FUCK? I’m legit going to complain to the organizers. We couldn’t find a schedule for this show anywhere. Big fancy website, no schedules. I even went the the circus people’s website (sword swallowers and stuff) to see if they had a schedule. Nope. Walk in and the first thing they give me is a lovely laminated schedule hour by hour for the whole weekend. Oh look, we missed the circus by an hour! DAMMIT. I’m legit pissed about this schedule thing.

Anyway, none of us were really shopping for tattoos. There were 200 tattooists there from all over. And they do tattoos right there. But I’ve got plenty of work to do on mine as it is. But I tell ya, I did see a lot of flash I liked.

There was a booth of a lady selling crystals — like carved crystals and jewelry and stuff. So K and I were looking at the necklaces. I asked her what was good for anxiety and she hands me a white one. Like the most boring of the stones. But she says it’s good for anxiety and getting rid of negative energy. She said it basically says fuck off to bad energy. Oooo. Give me. The card said it was good for sleep too. White Howlite.

According to some random internet search: “It can help reduce your levels of stress and anger, and dispel anger that is directed towards you from others. Howlite works by absorbing negative energy and filling the void with calming properties that help you feel at peace.”

Yeah, fuck the colors. Give me that.

At least it matches everything.

We’re building a deck!

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments on We’re building a deck!

We’re building a deck for the pool! I’m so excited! Like, I’m so excited, I think I’ll clean up the chair hammock and give it’s wooden bar a paint refresh. I’m gonna put both hammocks on the deck so when K2 falls asleep in the new one, I can chill in the hammock chair.

And I can have lots of plants ’cause I can water them with the hose now! First on the list is lemon grass! It keeps mosquitoes away. I can only find tiny little lemon grass plants. But when you see pictures, you see big bushy bunches of lemon grass. How do I get that? Do I have to seed it in Spring to get that? Is that a next year thing? I’ve got a big ass pot so I could have a huge bush of it. Maybe even drop a tiki torch in there! Yeah! I asked on nextdoor if anyone has any lemongrass to spare.

Lavender is supposed to be good for mosquitos too (good meaning, they don’t like it). My first priority is keeping mosquitos away from me.

They’re gonna start on the deck next week!

YAY!

That’s some fucked up shit.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on That’s some fucked up shit.

I’m scrolling Facebook and see this Ulta ad:

A vibrator necklace and a Disney bag. Choose a lane, Ulta! Also is that really a vibrator necklace? How small are the batteries? Surely not. I gotta click that shit.

“The iconic necklace that brought together pleasure and self-expression. Crave’s Vesper is designed to enable beautiful experiences in public and in private, both as a statement jewelry and a strong slim external vibrator.”

Benefits

  • Vesper represents beauty, pleasure, and self-expression. As a stainless steel necklace, it enables the wearer to toe the line between subtle and provocative, to create conversations and to openly express their desires
  • With a removable chain, the Vesper easily turns into a slim external clitoral vibe with a rumbly feel and a smooth rounded tip for pinpoint sensation. Not for internal use

That’s some fucked up shit, yall. Don’t be wearing your vibrators out in public. That’s gross. What is wrong with you people? EW.

Happy Hammock

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Happy Hammock

So I posted about how I had been extremely anxious and too depressed to get off my ass and take care of the weeds around the pool. I did that last weekend. Then I was anxious about all the poison ivy! And I didn’t even want to get my pool stuff out. Well, I made myself do that Sunday. I’m happy to report, I feel better! Do the rocks sill look like shit? Yes. Yes, they do. However, now there’s colorful things to look at to distract from them. I think with the poison ivy problem, they’re not getting raked out this year. It just is what it is. I’ll try to stay on top of them with poison, but I can’t rake it out or weed eat. So I’m kinda fucked with the rocks. Here’s hoping I get off my ass and take care of it.

I put out my hammock too!

Yall, it’s so comfortable. Hammocks are the best. I forgot how comfy they are. I needed a hammock. And I love that this hammock has a removable padded fabric layer. So it’s really comfortable and doesn’t give you rope indentations. Yet, that layer is removable. So it’s always clean! I can just put it away when I’m done and it’ll be clean for next time. No leaves and rain and bird shit. Awesome! Here’s a link to it on Amazon (it was on my wish list). Here’s the stand too if you need the whole setup (link). My in-laws gave it to me for Christmas!

As you can see, I bought a big 9×12′ plastic straw outdoor mat to put it on. I’m hoping now weeds won’t grow threw it. I also like how it makes a nice little Hammock area. The hammock would not look nearly as good just sitting on those fucking rocks. Good thinking, me!

And look how cute mom’s beloved flamingos look where I moved them by the shallow end. They were too cluttered with all the stuff around them. I like just the three. Mom’s original two (with new paint) plus little Stewart who lights up and was a gift from her.

I had today, Monday, off work. I wanted to lay in my hammock but not worry about the sun. So I waited until evening. I used my smoking mosquito coil to keep the bugs away. I still just read Reddit trash on my phone. But I did it outside. Comfortably. And with the sounds of the pool bubblers, it was so relaxing. I came in after sundown when the solar lights all started to come on. It was very nice.

Thankfully, Louie hasn’t figured out he can see me from the window. So far, he just parks it by the door and waits for me to come back in. Tonight, when I came back in, he came running and purring and meowing like I had been gone all day. Lord, if I have to see his sad face in the window, it’s not gonna work.

So who’s coming over for Memorial Day? I haven’t even gotten in yet!

BONUS: Here’s some links to things. I need a freaking Amazon affiliate link, I swear: