Author: cursingcats.com

It Keeps Spiraling

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The BABIES!

If I turn into a crazy plant lady propagating shit to hoard and sell online, this is where it started. Right here.

Look at these little adorable babies. I made these. Free plants. They’re cuttings from my other plants. LITTLE BABIES! On the left, you’ve seen my Fishbone Cactus scrap cuttings. They’re doing well. And on the right we have K’s prayer plant. She requested a cutting of mine. I didn’t want to cut it, but she did cut her Christmas Cactus for me so…

It actually worked out for the better. I had three vines just growing all lopsided and sloppy. I snipped off one vine and made 5 cuttings. Then, I actually staked the other two vines. So my original plant actually looks better than ever! It’s all spread out and just popped out three new leaves! And LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE BABY! So adorable! I love it. I wants to keep it. I don’t need it and I don’t do unglazed terracotta. It’s just adorable. It’s also the only 2 cuttings that rooted. Yeah, this one didn’t take well. I used rooting hormone and everything. 40% survival rating. So I put the two survivors together here.

My little babies!

I actually rooted some of the Christmas Cactus of Friendship for K2 earlier. Now it’s on to the third friend in the chain! All three of those cuttings grew great roots. I watered them last weekend while K2 was on vacation and all three cuttings had baby leaves already! So fun! Baby plants! Free plants!

PUMPKINS!

Also, right on time, Publix has their pumpkins out! So normally I would have bought a few. But I already have my own pumpkin display!

These are the guys that survived the Great Pumpkin Massacre. Obviously squash bugs kicked my ass this year. And there was a huge learning curve. So my harvest wasn’t huge. And then…well, the massacre. That’s why there are so many super teeny tiny white pumpkins. The massacre halted their growth and they tiny. But adorable.

However, three of the vines have started putting out again so I think I’ll get a few more pumpkins! I will do a post at the end of the season and show all of them and everything I got from each vine. Believe me, I’ve taken tons of photos. I love pumpkins (have you seen my tattoo? There’s two main pumpkins, a Jack-O-Lantern lid on my shoulder and a big pumpkin vine on my back)! Lots of lessons learned this year. But to think — this is from SIX PLANTS. Six tiny little seeds. Six seeds made all this! Did it cost more than the Publix pumpkins? Yes. Was it hard? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Am I so proud? Hell yes. My pumpkin babies! It’s like magic. Like six tiny little seeds in some dirt made all these. Like how? MAGIC IS HOW.

Composting

What else? Oh, I’m going to start composting now. I’ve been toying with the idea this season. Mainly just because of dirt storage. I usually over winter my summer plant dirt in pots or a bag in the garage. But you have to keep that shit watered or it becomes hydrophobic. So you literally have to water dirt. Last year was the first year I’ve ever overwintered plants. I’ll be overwintering my ferns this year and maybe the front porch plants. But I’ll still have a ton of dirt. Those pumpkins are in six 20lb grow bags. And I’m overwintering the lemon grass as rooted cuttings in water. So there’s all the dirt from them too. Dirt is expensive.

(NOTE: On second reading, yall might not know why I store dirt! Ha! Well, dirt is different all over the world. I happen to live where it’s all red clay. Like my outside dirt is red clay. It’s hard and it stains fucking everything. Red clay mud is the devil. So we have to buy our gardening dirt. When we plant flower beds, we buy all that dirt. Like the first time I traveled and saw a bunch of black dirt just on the ground, I was like “that’s a lot of money wasted.” So yeah, we have solid as fuck foundation dirt — but not good for the pretty plants dirt. We buy that shit. And it’s expensive.)

Also, this year I got a real eye opener in good dirt vs bad dirt. I got some super cheap dirt at first so I have a few pots with it. Then I bought two car loads of good dirt for the pumpkins and front porch. So at the plant swap, I picked up 3 miniature sunflowers. I put two on the front porch (in the good dirt pots) and one on the back stoop (in the poor dirt pot where the coleus hasn’t even done well). Holy shit. The sun is about the same. The water is about the same. But DAMN. The ones in the front have had like twenty blooms each. The back — maybe five? And that dirt won’t hold water to save its life. Even the coleus is sad in it.

So I’ve been tossing around the idea of composting. K2 jumped on it like a spider monkey because she wants to stop throwing away her food scraps. So if I compost, she can dump them here. And we have a lot of food scrap too. Come fall, I’m going to have a lot of plant scarp as well. And dirt to store. So… why not compost it? It’s not like I don’t have the ROOM.

So I’ve been learning. I learned it actually required effort, one. I mean I thought shit just rotted in a pile but no, it’s more complex than that. I learned about ratios and that it actually might require watering. Well, I had planned to chunk it in the back of our lot. But if I gotta turn this shit weekly (more like daily if I hot compost)…

In the beginning, I probably will actually hot compost when I clean up the pumpkin vines. Maybe get the yard guy to bag the clippings next cut to get started. And I’m already storing up all the brown packing paper I get for the browns. (Simplest dumb way to hot compost is apparently 50% greens to 50% browns. Stir to aerate daily or you get the sludge of death from too much anaerobic greens). And the browns need enough water to break down because brown cardboard and paper is kinda dry.

So weekly and sometimes daily effort plus water hauling? That’s not going in the back of the lot. I’m not walking all the way back there every day to do manual labor. There’s poison ivy in that grass, on all the trees, and I can’t get near the over growth. So no. It needs to be closer to the house. So I need bins. I need affordable and something husband won’t despise. (Do yall know he’s trying to say I don’t need my fancy pendant grow light for the Great Monstera? Um I do, and I will buy it anyway). So I try not to push him all the time. When it was going in the back of the lot I was gonna throw up some metal panels or something, but closer to the house I don’t want it to look like shit. So I’m doing something like this. I have this drawn up in Photoshop because I was querying local wood makers on prices:

So that design is from a kit I found, and a bunch of ideas from various youtube videos. I think the lids will actually be metal siding/roofing to keep most of the rain out, but obviously it won’t keep all of it out. Or I might still do mesh — not sure. I could even just use an old tarp and stretch it over the wood frame of the lid like a canvas. I have a clever solution for holding and closing the lids that I’ll totally show you. I’ll document my build. The sides will be the wood slats, but I bought 1/4 inch metal hardware cloth to staple all the inside edges. This will help keep the finer bits of compost in while allowing plenty of air. And I’ll do mesh on both sides of the center divider framing so there will be a good 1 inch pocket there — more air.

I really thought I could get someone local to do something cheaper than the kits online. But wood prices have skyrocketed so damn much, it’s just not gonna happen. It’s such a simple design too! The kit has all precut pieces and is expandable I figured local build wouldn’t have to do all those cuts. Wouldn’t need the dividers. Could just screw everything together on site. Nope. No one could come close to matching the kit prices.

So I’m going with the three foot composter from Cedar Wood. Did you know you need at least a 1 meter x 1 meter pile to hot compost? You do. So I’m going to buy two of these kits and bastardize it. I calculated all sorts of ways to do this. One composter plus spare parts (you can buy individual bits on the site). Two composters. A composter plus an HVAC cover. I’ve been mathing. I settled on two composter kits which I will use to create my three bin system with exactly six three-foot lengths of cedar leftover (plus a lot of spacers I won’t need). Those will probably be involved in the lids.

You can buy these kits at Home Depot so I did think to look around the internet for coupons and prices. They’re actually cheaper on almost every other site, including Lowes. But look at you, Wayfair, with the deep cut! I see you! Order placed. It will be here tomorrow.

So tomorrow I will have the kits, my plan, and the mesh. I’m sure that will take me longer than this weekend to get the sides up and the mesh in. The mesh is going to take a long time. The kit should go together nicely. Though I have a few things I want to pick up from Home Depot before I build them. Mainly some over priced prowood to cut squares to sit under the posts. I also need wood to repair the fence that blew down in the storm today anyway…

So I’m, for once, not doing it all at once. I’m going to get the frame up and contemplate the fronts and lids. I’m thinking siding (vinyl or metal?), some sort of plastic? Not sure what I want to use. I’m going to try to use the dovetail cuts in the posts for the fronts but I fear they will be too thin and I’ll need to resort to my diagram of how I would have made them if I didn’t have precut trench in the posts. So I’m gonna build it and see what I’m working with. I’m also going to see what Home Depot has and how much it costs. Because cost matters.

So yeah. I thought I was a farmer growing pumpkins! Now I’m getting into fucking composting. Good lord. Bring your food scraps over, I’ll dump them in my compost. But not yet because like, it’s not done and I don’t have freezer space. I know. I’m sad too. I’m gonna have to toss these rotten bananas. Next time, though, the rotten bananas are compost food!

The Lounge Is Open 24 Hours

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… On a dark wooden hallway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of catnip rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim, I had to stop for the night…

I’m not weird. You’re weird.

Childless cat ladies creeping around…

The Great Monstera Experiment Begins

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I know, a lot of plant posts. But, I can’t believe I haven’t posted about my Monstera! I told you about the Great Lemon Grass Experiment (they’re in rehab right now), the Great Pumpkin Experiment (we have some flowers coming back in!). Now we have the Great Monstera Experiment. And I do mean Great. Like GREAT BIG.

Back in June, we went to the plant swap. And holy shit, I won the door prize! There was a lot of stuff with the door prize (K, have you used that book giftcard?). The best part: A Monstera! Before this, I really only knew about Monsteras from them being my favorite plant in Animal Crossing. Now I HAVE one. So I had a lot to learn. I got into Monstera groups on Facebook and Reddit, followed plant people on youtube. Did I want to pole it? Whats the best pole to use? So much info.

However, June was also the month of the Washing Machine Incident. So it was July before I could actually do anything with this plant. Even re-potting it. And believe me, it needed a repot. The roots were growing through the holes in the bottom so much they blocked the drainage. I went and bought a really nice concrete planter for this baby. I wanted to upsize the pot, but not by much. And I needed the weight.

I decided I wanted to go with moss poles. Specifically: Easy D-Shaped poles. Upon inspection, I found that my Monstera actually had two plants in it (later found to be three). And those two plants were straight up facing each other. Fuck me. This sucks because it meant that to repot it with a pole, I had to separate the plants. Ugh. Here it is before the great repot. At this time, I had had it for about a month.

So I ordered some nice transparent and extendable D poles. I found the widest ones I could (I think they are five inches?), but I wasn’t sure I could get both plants on one pole. I ordered an eight pack though so I figured I would figure it out when the time came. Good thing I did that, because they needed two. Which kinda meant the plant actually got no new room since the poles took up too much space in the pot. Whatever. The good news is, I still have enough of the poles to extend three times (two foot each, but a few inches of overlap required).

I even bought the insanely expensive ethically sourced and harvested sphagnum moss straight from New Zealand. Yeah, it was fucking expensive. This free plant started costing a lot. But really, the environmental harm from sphagnum moss harvesting is devastating. Get that shit ethically, yall. They don’t HAVE to destroy the environment to harvest it. It can be done in a way that preserves the ecosystem. It’s just harder, produces less (but better quality), and therefore it’s a lot more expensive. Luckily that shit expands like crazy so I barely used any of it in this phase.

So after the insanely stressful surgery to separate the plants and tie them to the poles and do everything by the book — it looked like SHIT.

This was the trust the process part. It has to get worse before it gets better.

So, my Monstera was a mess. It had been completely turned around and the petioles were just all over the place. So I bought the Velcro plant ties. Name brand — they were WAY BETTER than the cheap shit that came with the poles. The Velcro brand plant ties are amazing — so soft against the plant. Love them. So yeah, my actual Stems are only about 5 inches at this point so there’s only so much anchoring I can do to the pole. But it is also already very thick and woody.

So.

I had to train the leaves. I did this very slowly. For each petiole, I wanted to move, I made a thick padding of paper towels folded over each other. I wrapped that loosely around the petiole and used the velcro ties to tie it to the pole. Not a lot! It was a slow process. You can’t just jerk them back. So over weeks, I’d shorten the velcro length to get them more upright.

At this point, after 2 months, I am proud to say, only one petiole is actually being supported. In fact, I can probably remove that now. It’s pretty solid. Here’s a picture from this morning:

I have not and do not plan to remove any damaged leaves. As you can tell from the picture where I brought it home (and the fact that two plants were potted facing each other), it didn’t have the best care. This wasn’t intended to be someones love project. They expected someone to take this home and slowly kill it. So the leaves are very wonky and curled in all kind of ways. One of the leaves is only a fraction of a leaf. But fuck you, I’m gonna make the most beautiful Monstera your ass has ever seen.

It’s already looking 1,000% better than it did. This month, it already spit out three new leaves! Yeah three! Turns out, there’s a tiny baby vine in there. The new leaf is only its third one. You can’t even see it in these photos. The aerial roots are taking to the moss extremely well. So glad I went with the D poles. They don’t dry out very fast. I’m sure that will change in winter — but they stay moist well over a week because they’re only exposed at the front by the plant.

Also, having used two side-by-side, they really strengthen each other as I have the zip-tied together in a few places. As it gets taller, I might need a board or metal bar on the back to keep it study and straight. But I honestly think I can get to 5 feet before I need extra support. Right now, I’m not even using a foot of the pole (well, above soil, I should say — its obviously buried in the pot). Also, I’ll have enough room for my third vine growing up!

So here, my friends, is my grand plan:

Yes! I plan to grow this motherfucker all the way up to the second story railing. I can’t go higher that that because, how would I possibly water the moss pole after it passes the second story? And eventually, it will get there. I’ve already picked out the perfect grow light and hanging bracket. I’m hoping it will go on sale for Black Friday. It’s the one that the youtuber KillThisPlant uses on his GIGANTIC indoor Monstera. (He’s who shared the Velcro tape too). It’s actually a really beautiful pendant light that I will be hanging from above. I can easily raise it but pulling in the cable length as the plant grows taller. That’s what I drew in the blue so badly on that photo mark-up. Though I acknowledge that halfway up, I might need to get a second pendant. We shall cross that bridge we we come to it. For right now, we’re using the ugly grow light I purchased to overwinter my plants last year. I measured it with a light meter and it’s putting out well over what I need to get this thing big and healthy.

Then when it gets too tall, I’ll be able to chop and prop and keep the top 8ish feet of pole and move the mother plant and keep extending. I’ve seen a lot of tutorials on how to do this and they all use moss poles. If you get enough roots in the actual pole, the plant can survive a repot with minimal stress after being cut from the mother plant. And then repeat forever.

Most of the plant youtubers don’t have the space for the giant Monstera leaves as they grow indoors and that’s what hampers them. They just can’t let them get so huge indoors. BUT I CAN! I got space. This is going to be the centerpiece of my house. My pièce de résistance. When you enter through the beautiful doors you will see Sir Bastian and this TWO STORY MONSTERA. And you will be amazed.

Shout out to the youtubers who have taught me far more than I even thought I’d want to know about Monsteras:

More Chop and Prop

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So an update on my Fishbone Cactus. I posted about it earlier this week. It had a lot of damage, but I was also so in love with it that I didn’t want to cut it. I loved the long stems! But the damage was pretty bad. I wanted to watch a plant that I love grow. Not worry about needing to clean it up every time I watered it.

Well, I gave it a hair cut…

Now I have a healthy plant though. Look at how much damage I had to cut off!

I did salvage the tips of the damaged stems. I’m rooting them. Maybe I can sell the rooted bits at the next plant swap. Or just hoard it as a new plant…

Zig Zag Cactus, Fishbone Cactus, Ric Rac Cactus, Alien Plant?

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Back in June (three months ago), I went to the local Plant & Book Swap. I bought some miniature sunflowers, left a ton of books on the free table, and grabbed a cutting from the free table. I have no idea why I didn’t take a picture, but it was about a foot long cutting of a fishbone cactus (see title for many names if can go by). I used google image search to find this out right there at the free table. Technology is fucking AMAZING.

Well, I was quickly enamored with this alien plant thing. WTF is this shit? I can root stuff. FREE PLANT! So I took it home. It was pretty rough with scabbed over areas all over it which is obviously why its owner trimmed it off. I watched a ton of youtube videos and cut it into five cuttings. This was during the great washing machine incident when everything was in the garage and we had a chipmunk problem so one cutting disappeared while callusing over. I followed the rooting instructions to a T. I let it callus for a few days, I put it in a well draining cactus mix. Here’s what they looked like when I moved them inside:

And after three months under my watchful eye, here’s what they look like now:

Yeah. It’s just plumped back up and it’s much brighter green with LESS THAN A CENTIMETER OF A NUB ON ONE SINGLE CUTTING (see blue arrow).

So.

Here is what it looks like next to the fishbone cactus I ordered online that arrived yesterday:

A few things:

  • Clearly they are different species. The original has much larger gaps in the leaf spurs(?) that are also much sharper. I know multiple different plants fall under this name.
  • The new plant clearly has a lot of damage. As you can see in the light, some of the stems are soft/mushy in some areas (more transparent — looks yellow in the photo because of the sunlight shining through). I’m not complaining or returning it though. Even if I mercilessly hacked off every damaged stem, it’s still much larger than what I was promised or shown in photos. So I’m cool with that. There are almost double the stems than the photo had and much longer too. And the majority of the stems have new pinkish growth on the ends. So if I didn’t have those damaged stems at all, I’d be thrilled with it. I actually think this is probably just a damaged much larger plant than what I ordered. I don’t mind plant rehab.
  • It needs to unfurl and relax into place but I’m too impatient and I want to show you my alien plant NOW dammit. I literally transplanted this last night before bed. It’s a little jet lagged and who knows how long it’s been wrapped up tight in that paper wrap.

Isn’t it AMAZING? Like what the fuck is this plant? Apparently it grows in forests in Mexico! I love it! I hope the cuttings grow.

Any advice on the cuttings? Should I nip off the brown bits and hope to spur new growth on the three cuttings that haven’t done shit? They aren’t DEAD, they’re bright plump green. But not a sign of growth in THREE MONTHS on those three. I think I’ll nip one of the three losers and see what that does.

Here’s my relaxing bedroom nook that has my hanging plants now. Husband still hates that closet rod, but I love my plants.

Saturday Morning in Video

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This morning started off with a strange bit. I was up pretty early as I’ve been having horrible sleep lately. I came downstairs and noticed brown blobs through the door glass. The glass very much obscures things so I thought maybe we had a storm I missed and there were a lot of branches down?

When I opened the blinds I saw — GEESE. A fuck ton of canadian geese all over my yard.

So I ran to turn off the alarm and go outside. Here’s one of three videos I took:

I herded them all across the road so they wouldn’t get hit. This is a road people speed down — thankfully it was about 7:30am. One woman stopped and encouraged me to spread my arms to get them to go faster. Since it’s been hot as fuck here, there were ton’s of people using the greenway.

One woman said she lived close to the retention pond by Publix and when she started her walk, they were there. Then another man said they’d been crossing the street back and forth and back and forth. So I figure that they were taking a leisurely Saturday morning stroll from the retention pond to Lady Ann Lake. Approximately two miles. Why would they not fly?

Another passerby in a car pulled into my driveway worried as could be because they were crossing again about a block further down the road. She suggested we herd them to the lake. I was like, they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do and they’re halfway there. I pointed out that it was daylight at least and people weren’t particularly speeding (I said this as approximately 6 cars were stopped waiting on them to cross in the Southbound lanes).

So that’s new. Never seen that in our 9 years in this house.

When I came back inside, I fed Louie. Of course, he wanted to go outside. That is our morning routine now. He wants his food but not to eat it, and then he goes to the back door so he can come outside with me while I tend my pumpkins. As you saw in a previous post, there isn’t much to tend in the pumpkins now. However, I did acquiesce his request. He looked at a beetle:

When he first goes out, he likes to lay down and get accustomed before he starts walking around. Still pretending he can’t walk in the harness hoping I’ll remove it. I did grab some wire and fix my solar lights while he explored.

Childless Cat Ladies

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Just thought I’d share.

It’s kinda catchy.

I should explain for the non-Americans or future readers.  Vance (Trumps running mate) made a comment about childless cat ladies running our country.  Apparently, we shouldn’t get the same vote weight as families.  We don’t care about the future of our country and education because we “don’t have a stake in it.”  So that’s what this is poking fun at (“there’s a crazy man with tiny hands…” LMAO)

But let me tell you, today it was 97 degrees (F) and I tried to take my cat outside but he stepped on the pavement and I was afraid it would burn his paws cause we’ve destroyed the fucking planet and it’s a hot box at the moment.  Also, I have nephews. And friends with kids.  Geez. 

Can I get a “Childless Cat Lady” tank, please?

THEY KILLED MY PUMPKINS!

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Oh my god. Yall. Yall. I can’t. I fucking CAN’T WITH THIS.

We had our gutters cleaned Thursday (four days ago). Today, I found out that they disconnected the automatic watering system to the pumpkins. They hooked it back up (hence, I didn’t notice) but neglected to turn the water back on.

Now, I don’t expect you to know how I have my water hooked up or why. But I do expect you to tell me when you fuck with it. WHY WOULD YOU NOT?

And you may ask yourself, why didn’t I notice they weren’t getting watered? Well, they droop dramatically between waterings (every 6 hours) every day because it’s in the 90s every day. They pop back up at the next watering, so I’m used to ignoring the wilt. Also, I have been fighting squash bugs with all my life this summer. Just last week I saw MORE EGGS on a leaf. So yeah, I did notice they looked bad. I put out a whole bottle of Seven and a whole can of Raid this weekend.

I also ordered some worm castings concentrate from Amazon to try to perk them up. Today, I decided to turn on the automatic waterer which would fill the gallon jugs and I could just drop the concentrate in each jug.

So I switch the waterer to manual and it kicks on (the water left in the hose) and immediately off. I fuck with it for a while. Try a few more times. Nothing. It’s hooked up! I unscrew it… no water. There’s no water coming through the hose. So I go to the spigot on the house — it’s turned off.

Why would it be turned off? This hose goes under the pumpkins, you can’t use it. Oh. Oh. They must have disconnected it and used another hose and then reconnected mine but didn’t turn the water back on.

That explains the rotting baby pumpkin I lost yesterday (I tend them daily). That explains…

All of this.

Those motherfuckers killed my pumpkin patch. Will the rest of the growing pumpkins die as well? Will any of the vines bounce back after four days in scorching heat and full sun without a drop of water?

MY PUMPKIN PATCH!

I don’t even WANT to begin to add up how much money I have poured into this pumpkin patch. The set up of buying everything, all the dirt, all the squash bug treatments, all the fertilizers, the compost, the mulch, the DAILY tending.

MY PUMPKINS.

YOU KILLED MY PUMPKINS.

I had a terrible day at work and now you’ve destroyed months of work. Months of a new hobby to try and bring some joy to my life AND THEY KILLED IT.

I’m going to go die now.

String of Bananas (Curio Radicans) and Hanging Plants from a Closet Rod Tip

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String of Bananas Repot, Chop, and Prop

Isn’t it funny all the trailing plant names? String of Pearls, Bananas, Fish hooks, Dolphins, Turtles — just to name a few! Today, I repotted my something and decided to use Google Image search to identify it. Turns out it is a String of Bananas Plant. Well isn’t that cute? Now that I’ve found out what it is — everyone has all these very fussy instructions on how to care for it.

Listen. If you’ve been to my house in 5, maybe more years — you’ve seen the terrarium on my kitchen table. It’s where my succulents live. They’re in a terrarium because Jack was a plant eater. Louie gives no fucks (typical Louie).

I just buy the little 2 inch pots at the nursery. I’m not good with succulents so when they die, I just pop them out and replace them like a kids goldfish. Nothing to see here. But the String of Bananas was one of the OG succulents in here. It might be the only OG I have.

When I started this terrarium of succulents (before that it had other plants rotated in – including a bonsai which died leaving that square pot), I bought a variety. I wanted different textures and colors. So the String of Bananas would add a little hanging accent. Mom always said you need a Spiller, a Filler, and a Thriller. These would be my spiller.

Well, that damn thing just kept growing. It was like maybe 2-3 inches long when I bought it. It just started to fill the terrarium. Eventually I took it out and folded it nicely and put it back in. Still, it had to come out at some point. So when I did my home office and added hanging plants in the window, I put it in a hanging basket. When it got too long, I’d just fold and swing the trails over the pot to grow down the other side. When I moved it to the bedroom, it looked like this:

A few weeks ago, I noticed little roots growing out of the bottom of the inner pot. Time to get a bigger pot! So tonight, I repotted from that 6 inch to an 8.5 inch. But first, I had to untangle it…

Holy shit, the trails are over 5 feet long, easily! It’s pretty thin though. So rather than wad it all up again, I went chop and prop. I cut it into three sections and rooted the lower two sections back into the main pot. I used rooting hormone and this thing has grown like a weed, so I hope they take. Apparently, it will split in two where it was cut, so I hope to get a fuller plant this way. Then when it’s full and long, I can drape the length over the rod like a window swag. I’m so fancy.

Go go, little Banana Strings.

Hanging Plants Tip: CLOSET ROD

Also, when I went to grab that picture, I saw I didn’t post about hanging plants in my bedroom. WTF? I’ve just been so damn tired and fucking depressed and anxious and all over the place lately. Sorry!

So back in June, we had the floors redone. Everything had to be moved out of the downstairs. I’ll link that post here. So all of my plants went to the Master Bedroom. I made myself a little nook to live in since we had to live upstairs for a month. And you know what? I really liked having plants in the bedroom.

(NOTE: Fuck me, I haven’t posted about my MONSTERA? WHAT? I gotta post that.)

So I decided I need some plants to keep in the bedroom. Only problem was how. That card table was only there temporarily so I could put the plants in there. It was also too far from the window to get great light. I wanted to do hanging plants! Like in my office!

As you can see, I just hung the plants in my office from the curtain rod. The String of Bananas was in here with the Creeping Jenny, but I moved it to the bedroom. Now the Creeping Jenny can shine.

Problem: There’s nowhere to put a center support in the bedroom window. It’s a curved window. It’s over six feet wide. A six foot curtain rod would sag without a center support even without the weight of plants on it. So I brainstormed on it for a while. I pondered. Obviously, if I had tools and resources, I could buy a nice solid curtain rod, cut it to length, and make nice brackets. But we’re trying to do this on the cheap here. I need COTS parts.

CLOSET ROD!

Thin closet rods are rated at 30 and 40lbs. And I can get one the right length from Lowes or Home Depot! So I went to Home Depot to look at my options. I chose a seven foot clothes/closet rod and the least intrusive brackets I could find.

BAM! Hanging plants. I LOVE THEM! And this picture is a month old. The big leaf thing has new leaves, the Christmas Cactus of Friendship was trimmed for propagation (to continue the friendship train) and already has three new leaves coming in. The pot of nothing on the far right is the free zig zag cactus cuttings I got from the plant swap. They haven’t done SHIT. They also haven’t rotted or dried out, though. So I’m waiting it out on that.

I’m super happy with it. My joy was a bit (a lot) dampened by the fact that husband thinks it’s ugly. He’s not against the plants, but he hates how far it sticks out from the window. He wishes I would have just got a table or something. But like, that wouldn’t have worked. I can’t just go find a nice two foot tall skinny couch/entry table that looks nice on a $30 budget. Husband is unreasonable on some things. We can make it better in the future — but I can have SOMETHING now.

I don’t love that it’s so far from the window — but I love having my hanging plants in the bedroom! And I think it was a damn clever solution. I even hung some mementos on the ends. He didn’t even recognize the blue heart necklace pendant he gave me 14 years ago that was pinned under my skirt as my “something blue” at our wedding 12 years ago. Now it’s catching the light in our window. With my plants.

Maybe in the future, I’ll hang a nice rod from the ceiling — or do custom brackets. But for NOW, closet rod was genius. It’s not even sagging at all — even with the new larger pot for the String of Bananas. So if you need a dirt cheap way to hang some plants — closet rod.

I’m really enjoying having indoor plants now that my cat doesn’t give a fuck about destroying them.

Getting shit done at 4AM

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Getting shit done at 4AM

I’ve always had insomnia and extreme anxiety. We know that. I’ve had a sleep study done. I live in a perpetual state of “my sister will come in and start hitting me for leaving the TV on QVC again at any moment.” They were like you just have “spontaneous arousal” plus periodic limb movement disorder. So basically after every REM cycle, I come back up to near wake — which means pretty much ANYTHING is gonna pop me to fully awake. So I don’t get those ever deepening REM cycles. And yeah, I’m crazy.

So when perimenopause causes insomnia and anxiety — what happens when you already have those? WHAT HAPPENS?

You know what happens? You just start freaking the fuck out and you never sleep. I’m on staycation supposed to be relaxing but I can’t sleep. This is me doing laundry at 4am. I woke up to pee and was like fuck it, I’m not going to fall asleep for a few hours. I should do laundry.

That’s my staycation. I don’t have to freak out about my sleep schedule and husband is gone so I’m not disturbing anyone. Great time for this. I haven’t put up my laundry in at least over a month. Well over. But there’s always something I’d rather do. But hey, 4am, let’s do it.

Look! All my Duluth camisoles are clean!

Yes, I do have one in every color they’ve put out since I discovered them. I don’t know why three of those colors are shades of purple, but whatever. These are camisoles with built in bras. NOT a shelf bra. I don’t even know what the fuck a shelf bra is for. Like that only holds the shirt to your boobs. There’s no support. There’s no nipple coverage. It just holds the shirt in place. So you still gotta wear a bra.

These have a sewn in bra. Like pads — not removable pads either, they’re fully sewn in there. Do you know what that MEANS? It means I can wear the coolest-yet-still-coverage shirt with not bra. I can answer the door. I can go to the mailbox. I can have people in my house — in my camisole. No nipples showing. Tattoo on full display. Adjustable straps. I’m just comfortable. I LIVE IN THESE. Yall washing clothes when you run out of underwear, these are my washing cue.

Duluth. I fucking love Duluth. The clothes are just good quality shit made to fit a normal sized person who actually moves around. Nothing is stylish — it’s all functional core pieces. And that shit’s gonna LAST. Everything has a one year guarantee. Bring it back for any reason and they’ll replace or refund. Who else does that with clothes? Who else it gonna take back you 9 month old tshirt? I tell you who, Duluth.

I even got my husband on this brand. I bought him some of the bucknaked underwear and their classic 5-pocket pants. He liked the pants so much he got me to get them in another color. MY HUSBAND. So I went and got him some jeans on Wednesday. I had to return some adorable shorts I bought online that were too small for my thighs (sad times). So I was like, I’ll return these and get husband some good jeans. Cool. So I didn’t even bother looking, I just asked the guy whats the closest jeans you have to these pants. And that’s what I bought. Home free right? No. It’s Duluth.

So I’m walking out and I see this little dress thing on clearance. It had caught my eye the other day but was still too expensive, even on clearance. But now clearance was an additional 20% off in store. So I glance at the again. Built in bra — nice nice. Oh wait, holy FUCK ME, are those shorts?

So I grab some to try on. I never would wear something like this — but my friend, this dress is everything. All you need is panties. Very supportive bra built in. Shorts with pockets, check. Extra pockets, check. Open back shows my tattoo off, check.

Well, fuck. I’m wearing this to the Trash Pandas next week. I think it’s made for hiking and shit but you could do anything in this. It’s basically a leotard/bodysuit that looks like a casual dress. And I thought it would be fun because I don’t own anything even close to this. I’m gonna pick husband up from the airport in it!

Oh, and while I’m doing laundry over here… Here’s my top favorite Tshirts at the moment.

We got a pop culture reference, a cat (with a Vneck – love a Vneck), and three shirts referencing the word fuck. One with a muppet. I love Chef.

So yeah… “Cursing Cats and Curiosities” — NAILED THE NAME.

Oh and I called my psychiatrist and was like “yeah no, I’m no longer a functioning crazy person.” I’m requiring a nap EVERY DAMN DAY. Panic attacks every day. Perimenopause is like MY DEATH SPIRAL.

So he gave me MORE valium. I swear to god, my only super power is my inability to sleep. Once I told a pharmacist friend all the shit I take and she was like “I’d be passed out.” No, that’s the level of anxiety we are medically suppressing here. One day we’re all gonna get gassed and kidnapped and I’m gonna wake up and save us all cause aint nobody taking my ass down. Kidnapper farts and I’m awake. Oh you thought I was asleep? ME? HA! I heard everything you said. Now which reality is this — is this the one where I still have one class to take to finish my degree before everyone finds out I’m a sham (because they let me fake graduate with everyone, as long as I finish that one class)? Or the one where we are perpetually packing up to go home from the Florida trip because my sister brought an insane amount of shit that needs to be jammed in the car and she’s drunk off her ass pissing herself in the closet so I have to do it all? WHERE IS MY CAT, MOTHERFUCKER?

I’m gonna categorize this under “Health > Ageing – Not Gracefully.” I have a valium to go take.

DID MY HUSBAND FORGET TO CALL ME AGAIN?