Yall need to just stop with this shit. No.
God, it’s even rainbow. Let’s not forget the pink tax!
All MacGyver needed was a bobby pin.
Netflix’s Polar
It’s my fake Friday. I took a long ass nap. I’m gonna make a frozen Quest pizza and stay up super late.
Some background: I decided to do another booknook. I ordered a generic “Rose Detective Agency.” One that is clearly knocking off Sherlock. The address is 210B Rose Street. Well, that can’t stand. Clearly I’ll have to fix the address and street sign. So if I’m doing that… I might as well do some other customizations… So this led me down a Sherlock (BBC, Benedict Cumberbatch) hole. I’ve decided I’ve just got to rewatch the show for inspiration. I was going to do it this weekend.
So I find myself up late with time to kill. I’ll start my Sherlock binge early! So I pull up Netflix as I assume it’s on there. And I see this:
Interesting, maybe I’ll add it to my watch list. The description: “John Wick meets The Equalizer.” John Wick kinda already was the Equalizer over the dog, but show me more. I watched the trailer.
Well, fuck. Now I’m waiting on my pizza to be done so I can start my movie. It’s totally Mads Mikkelsen as an over-the-top John Wick. It won’t be as good, but it looks like a damn good ride. I’m down.
REVIEW:
It takes over an hour before they even inspire the guy to do any vengeance. In that hour there’s a LOT of gratuitous sex. We’re talking a LOT. Even boobs against a window at one point. The characters are just insanely over the top caricatures of villains. I’ve paused here at the 1 hour and 21 minute mark and it’s FINALLY about to get good. With only 36 minutes left — at least 6 of which is probably credits.
To even compare this to John Wick is just insulting to everyone. I feel like this movie is insulting to Mads Mikkelsen’s talent, even. I mean fuck. It better be a damn good 30 minutes.
***SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT***
Not that he should be alive at this point, having been tortured for three days and I don’t think they gave him water to drink during any of that and he’s bleeding like a lot — for three days. So very implausible — but he’s finally about to escape and do some killing. Here we go.
So he’s escaping and kicking ass. Only the occasional stop to pant to show he’s struggling. He’s even been shot in the leg by this point. He’s missing an eye — part of the 3 days of being tortured and bleeding. Like maybe if they had only tortured and starved and dehydrated him for one day, I’d give it to you. I mean give me SOMETHING to buy here. But he was literally chained up the whole time. They made a point to show him still chained on the floor before and after each torture — next to a floor drain — for the blood, of course. So like, he hasn’t even been able to go shit or anything. Much less get a drink of water. This is stupid.
And surprising left filed twist ending plus a set up for a second movie.
THUMBS DOWN. You suck, Netflix. I should have watched Sherlock.
I can’t fucking believe you DARED to compare this to John Wick. Fuck.
BookNook!
For Christmas this year, K gave K2 and I booknooks! And the gift of making them together. It took us 2 full days a month apart, but we did it, yall! Here’s the kit I was gifted:
The Rolife Booknook and Wonderland Garden House. I’ve seen it under two brands on Amazon and non-branded on Etsy. My little stickers even had “Rolife” printed on them so I think that’s the real brand. Plus it was on the box.
We started them on February 10th. It took us a month to be able to get together again and we finished them yesterday. March 10th.
I’m pretty sure my kit was by far the easiest of the kits. But dang, yall. Miniatures are hard. Here’s me questioning if my eye doctor was correct that I should start considering bifocals. Cause good GOD. That shit is so very tiny. Of course that’s what makes the book nooks awesome. The insane amount of details. And this kit was not short on the details. Look at my little shelves!
There are little wooden books wrapped with sticker labels and spines. Flower crates, pictures with frames, tiny flower pots (all 6 pots are different), the tiniest blue rose known to man… Look at it! The window even opens and closes!
Cause, I’m extra, I did do a few changes. Especially today. One, that chair is supposed to go inside and it is just not to scale. No. It is an outside chair now. I also added some extra “area rugs” to cover the marks on the floor where things were supposed to be placed. The basket of rolled papers goes in front of the stairs. Well, that blocks the stairs! How is that functional? And the chair fills the whole thing up. I like it much better less crowded and where I can imagine walking into it. And who doesn’t like an outside chair?
I also added and switched somethings around. Originally, all of the rolls of paper were stickers rolled together. Well, I apparently can’t do that without making them look like shit. So first, I got out some nice paper I had in my craft supplies and used it instead of the bright gingham colors that came with the kit. For the ones with the flower stickers, I put the sticker on the paper and gave it a good roll with the sticker ending up on the outside. Excellent. Oh, and speaking of stickers, I love that little detail of the tulip sticker that looks like it’s a poster that is just draped/fallen over the shelf there.
All of the pictures and intricate details are stickers. Much better than having to glue paper. But MAKE NO MISTAKE, you need glue for this bitch. It doesn’t come with glue, but it is required. Thankfully, I read a review about how you have to turn it over to wire it. Literally almost the very last step is turning it over to wire it up underneath. (Better pray those lights work when you connect the wires!) So everything needs to be glued the fuck down.
The first day, we had to make do with the gorilla glue I had in a junk drawer because only K2’s kit came with glue. For our next round, I ordered fast drying craft glue and tiny pinpoint dispenser bottles so we all had a bottle. PRICELESS. Absolute requirement for this. You think that door had that “glass” in it and trim on it? NO, it didn’t not. It had to be glued on. Parts of these kits expect you to glue a piece on the wall and then stand it up immediately. EXCUSE ME? No. Also, I ordered another pair of longer tweezers. Such a necessity here. I have gorilla fingers, or something. Who the hell can pick up those micro stickers on the drawer labels? They’re so tiny they didn’t even print 1, 2, 3, 4 — they’re all “No. 1.” So, be prepared.
In my extraness, I beefed up some of the plants with fake grass blades. I also added dried moss to all the planter boxes and pots. And do you see my Peacock Ore chips as rocks on display? I threw in a big clear quartz crystal too!
Then today, I saw some of the purple flowers I had dried in my collections of rose petals and it was ON. I ripped out a lot of the 1-dimensional paper flowers and replaced them with the real dried flowers. And where I left the paper flowers (like on top of the blue bookcase), I tucked them in various nooks. It adds so much texture! I even tucked a few petals in the boots with the sprig that is totally Wall-E vibes.
There’s actually a lot of depth in here too. There’s a whole second level balcony in the back with it’s own chest and flower box on top. And a cute railing all around. It’s the layers and layers of details that make it so cool.
Well, plus the lights. The little lamp works and there’s a utility light hanging from the ceiling.
Yesterday, we were exhausted. K2 was here until 9pm. So almost 9 hours straight or work to finish them. But yall, I kinda want to make another. I don’t need one or have a place to put it — but I really enjoyed putting it together! IT’S SO PRECIOUS!
Testing. Testing. 123 + Pictures
I’m testing posting from my phone. I have pictures. LOOK AT MY SEED BABIES!
Hmm. I guess the only problem is that I usually drastically cut down the size of my photos before I upload them. I wonder if I can do that easily. I hate the huge file size.
One more photo. It’s a bat in the bat house! It was screaming at me when I checked the mail. I’m worried about but though. Last time one was visible like this, it died. But that was mid summer. I checked around the bathouse to make sure a baby hadn’t fallen out, but didn’t see anything.
I mean, fuck knows what I would do if I DID find a baby. I’d figure it out though. We’d get that baby back up there.
I guess I’ll go research shrinking photos. Looks like Google photos doesn’t have that option.
Laugh at my Failure
Yesterday, I had an email thread I fucked up so very badly, that I’ve been sharing it with people to cheer them up. Because hey, I fucked that up like three ways — you should get a laugh and realize we all fuck up and look like dumbasses sometimes. Enjoy.
First, if you’re not someone who has known me long enough to realize it — I get words mixed up. I meet a Kevin or a Keith? Fuck no, they’re both 5 letters that start with a K — it’s not happening. My brain cannot process this. This happens a lot where I mix up words based on what they start with — sometimes going so far as to be the phonetic start and no the actual letter. My husband has become an excellent mind reader when I do this. Context clues, people! So with that in your head:
Wednesday, we had half of a team flying in to tour and meet up with the other half of the team. So I’m tagging along to tag up with my other half. This is an all day event. I’ve told everyone I’m busy all day and my status shows as busy. But I still have my good old leash. It’s a fucking iphone and I hate it because I’m an android person – CAN I GET A PIXEL? It’s half the fucking price! That has nothing to do with this though.
So where was I? So I get a TEAMS message asking me to email Shelby about the A1111 program funding. OK, I can do that. First, I ask for a last name and they’re like “it’s in your email.” Well, outlook on the iphone doesn’t have a goddamn search feature so is it SO HARD for you to type the damn name? It literally takes less strokes than writing out “It’s in your email.” So I’m thinking ShelbyA but this is a different Shelby. Also, note that I do more budget shit that anything else. I’m a configuration manager with experience as a software engineer and a computer science degree — why am I pushing contract money? So keep in mind also that I’m pushing money for shit I have nothing to do with. I don’t work these programs, I’m just submitting the contracts for the people who do.
So I email Shelby and ask about funding for the A2222 program real quick during my lunch break. They reply:
“Ma’am, I’m the POC [Point of contact] for the A1111 program.” Fuck.
So I’m flustered, embarrassed, and still don’t have a lot of time here to deal with emails so I reply with something close to:
“Ma’am, I sincerely apologize. I intended to ask about funding for A1111.”
They reply with the fact that they’re not continuing funding, they told my boss this last week, and….
“ALSO, I’m a man. Shelby is a unisex name.“
Fuck me.
How much dumber can I look to this person? Also, I didn’t even KNOW Shelby was a unisex name. In fact, I didn’t believe it so I googled that shit. Apparently it’s Norse and it means “from estate by the willow.” Ok, Viking name, badass. But how much did you get made fun of in school?
I’m southern — so when I hear Shelby, it’s Shelby from “Steel Magnolias” played by Julia Roberts. It’s a fucking fantastic, classic movie. If you live in the South, you know this movie by heart. Highly recommend. Look at the cast!
| Starring | Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis, Julia Roberts, Tom Skerritt, Dylan McDermott, Kevin J. O’Connor, Sam Shepard |
|---|
Also, the red velvet armadillo grooms cake? That shit is fucking GOLD.
Anyway, ShelbyA is also a female. I’ve never known a male Shelby. But then my husband points out some fancy sports car named after a Shelby and I’m like “but have you seen Steel Magnolias?” He has not.
So there you go.
Weekend in Review
This weekend, I made Lumalee!
The mouth is pretty jacked up, so ill probably work on that. Also, I feel like the green should have started sooner. Did I do an extra blue row or something? And how did I jack up one leg so badly? I did not notice that at all while I was making it. There are parts of it I am unhappy with, but I think it’s cute. I enjoyed making it. It was very much trust the process because it look JACKED-THE-FUCK-UP until I stuffed it. I should have taken a picture.
I really liked how the designer did the top to split it off into two points — very clever IMO. There are changes I would make if I did it again, but I won’t be doing it again. Super glad I bought an extra skein of blue because I sure did need it. I want to do a red mushroom, but I think responsibly, I should do Mario first so I know I have enough red for him first.
The Christmas blanket saga continues. But I’m honestly thinking of putting it aside. It’s not a project I am enjoying at all. I hate the yarn. I have more amigurumis I want to do — but I also really want to do a sampler blanket in greys. I could pick a yarn I actually LIKE. And each rectangle will be a different stitch. I think I’ll pick like three shades of greys — like this kit on Amazon that I am not going to buy:
1) I’ve had to buy compression gloves because working the Christmas blanket has hurt my hand.
2) I’m not enjoying it. It’s a chore, not a fun hobby.
3) The sampler blanket would let me pick a yarn I enjoy working with and that isn’t so damn hard to work with!
4) I’d get to learn a lot of new stitches. And it would keep changing up and not being a slog because once I finish one rectangle, the next would be totally different.
So yeah, thinking of putting the Christmas blanket aside for more enjoyable projects.
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Also this weekend, I washed the cars! I meant to wash mine inside and out, but I only got the outside done. But I also did Husband’s car. And I put it off for so long that I was still washing at dusk and got to see BATS IN THE BATHOUSE!
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I bought some of these camisoles at Duluth Trading. I’ve been living in them since. I would live in camisoles if I could. I get hot so easy. And if I’m cold, I can throw something on over it. But I can’t live in camisoles because I don’t like not wearing bras around people. I’m sorry, I’m an older generation and I don’t like my nipples showing. My boobs are awesome and do not need support — but I still have pointy nipples. Also, my mom was always braless at home growing up and it embarrassed me. Sorry mom. I wouldn’t have worn bras 24/7 either for my kids. Fuck that.
Anyway — these camisoles have the worthless “shelf bra” built in. BUT BUT BUT — with PADDED CUPS.
Holy fuck, it’s like I unlocked a new life reward. The camisole stays in place — no nip slips. and also NO POINTY NIPPLES.
Yall, they were on sale and I bought one of every color. And when the season changes, I’m gonna see if they have more colors and buy them too. You think I’m kidding? Husband is reading this thinking I spend too much money — honey, have you noticed me wearing that purple one, then the grey one, and now this teal one? Have you seen me wear anything else for like over a week? Do I have too many camisoles? Fuck yes. Burn all the others if you want to use that line of thinking. These are all I want now.
I can go out to the mailbox. My sister slept over and I didn’t have to put on a bra. I can answer the door if needed. No bras or robes required. I can live in my camisole now. It’s fucking amazing. BUY THIS SHIT (Clicky). 10 out of 10, 5 stars all the way.
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EDIT: FUCK, How could I forget? I started my first ever seed babies!
It’s all lemongrass. Lemongrass is crazy expensive, I learned last year. SO I’m just seeding a fuckton of it. It keeps mosquitoes away. I’m also gonna try to grow pumpkins this year!
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Review: Dremel Storage Box
Two reviews in one day? WTF? I know. But in my last post, I mentioned modifying my rock display stands with my Dremel. Which reminded me that I love my Dremel and the case I got for it.
I mean come on, Dremels are awesome. You can cut wood, plastic, metal – etch glass, sand anything, polish, grind stuff down, drill holes, sharpen your lawn mower blades (I don’t know why I have that attachment). So versatile! It’s not something you use everyday, but it is a life saver. It’s like “oh I have this problem! Whatever shall I do?” “I have a Dremel.“
So the last time I used it for a big project was redoing the mailbox post. We moved our mailbox but I still wanted a house number stand out on the street. A fancy one. I was shopping for them and then thought — damn, I have a nice post out there — it just has a damn mailbox on it. It’s a nice cast iron post my neighbor let us have after mailbox 3.0 (or somewhere in there) went down. And those posts were expensive. So I looked it over and realized the box was only held on by brackets. Cast-iron brackets, but I have a Dremel! And a 100 foot extension cord! So I sawed the brackets off, used the grinding bits to even it up, a new coat of shiny black paint and added a house number plaque! Wha la!
Now after this wonderfulness, I realized, my Dremel deserved better. I’ve done other big projects with it (my nativity creche) but only had it in an open box in the garage on the shelves. So there might have been a ton of dust and a little rat poop in the box with everything… Sorry, dude. So I went looking for storage and I found this box. The “Portable Tool Box – Small Parts Organizer with Drawers and Customizable Compartments for Hardware, Fishing Tackle, Beads or Crafts by stalwart (Green)”. I’ve seen it in lots of other colors, but I like green.
The top is the perfect size for my Dremel with extension attached and a huge pair of safety goggles. I have to have big googles to fit over my cateye glasses. It’s a perfect fit! I even tossed in the manuals in an envelope. The envelope looks fancy but it’s really because they were filthy and bent up from the terrible storage before…
Then, when you open up the front, you have access to 4 individual latching tackle boxes. These are perfect because the short dividers are not permanently set, so you can move them around to make the compartments the size you need.
And yall know, the Dremel comes with a ton of shit. I mean it does do EVERYTHING. I’ve got one tray for attachments. One for sanding, one for more sanding and also polishing, one for cutting and grinding. Look at all this organized shit:
So when I needed to cut some metal last night, I went out to my garage and grabbed my green box. It also has a big sticker that says “Fuck” on it because it’s mine. All my shit was right there. It wasn’t dusty. I didn’t have to look around for what I needed. I even had my safety glasses right there to remind me to use them. It’s perfect.
5 stars, highly recommend. I love organization.
Review: Adjustable Metal Arm Display Stand Easel with Acrylic Base
It’s been a while since I did an Amazon review. I worked on customizing these last night, so I’m going to review them. But, this means you get a preview of some of my new rock collection additions. I’m going to make a post more about those soon. I’m waiting until some more things come in too so that you get the full scoop. But that’s later. For NOW, Lets review: Amazon’s “4 Pcs Adjustable Metal Arm Display Stand Easel with Acrylic Base Rock Display Easel Holder Acrylic Easel Crystal Display Stand Clear Plate Stand for Geodes Mineral Agate (2 x 2 x 3.5 Inch)”
I’m torn between giving this 4 or 5 stars. In the end, I’m super happy with these. That said, I did do some heavy modifications on them.
My rock collection is small samples. My shelves are 2 inches deep and about 3 inches high. So my display samples are small. These were the smallest stands I could find. I love the super clean clinical look. It doesn’t take away from the stone at all. I like that adjustable arms can be moved to hold different stones. I love the clean look. I don’t want to just set a rock on the shelf. I want it displayed and labeled. I want a clean organized collection. Not just a pile of rocks.
So I thought these would be perfect. They almost were. Hence my considering 4 stars. If I were to use them as is, the only issue I have is the insanely tight fit in the base. One, I couldn’t get all the way in. I pushed on the top peg only and it pushed through the others. So then I pushed down on the lower pegs and that was enough to tear the thin metal wrapping them together. Not noticeable displayed on the shelf, but disappointing. It’s still just not fully inserted.
Now, another fact is that I heavily tweaked these. I need my specimens plus the stand to be around 3 inches. The stand actually holds the specimens a decent height off the shelf. I can’t measure this for you as I’ve already altered mine. I used my Dremel with a metal cutting wheel to take the height off the bottom (Dremels are magic). This allows the lower pegs to sit closer to the acrylic base.
This made me happy for some of my specimens, but wasn’t working for displaying the smaller slices and stones. They wanted to lay down because the arms are over 2 inches long. Time to get out the pliers. I was able to bend the back peg forward according to each stones need to display it exactly as I wanted (see picture). It’s a thick peg so it did require a bit of force.
Now they’re perfect! I added a tiny label to the acrylic and these look great on my shelves! Here are the 4 I ordered and tweaked (see picture). I’m very happy with the final result. I will buy again, but they need modification. I was also very disappointed in the one that tore the metal wrap when I tried to get it in the base. So I’m knocking it down the 4 stars.
It’s the end of the world as we know it.
Please be sure to sing that title as REM would.
So yesterday, I posted about how my car was 10 and needed a cleaning. Well, this weekend is my long weekend and my Friday plans I was excited about got damned, so I can clean my car! I looked up the weather. Nice. I’m gonna do this. I’ll clean the inside too! So I’ve got outside car stuff, I wanted to get the Armor All wipes for the inside. I don’t like bottled cleaners — wipes are so convenient. So I go to Amazon.
I find what I need and put it in my cart. We’re checking out — when’s this gonna arrive? NEXT TUESDAY? What the fuck? Six days? SIX DAYS? On a prime item!? Are you kidding me? You also have raised your prime cost multiple times and now put commercials in my shit. Not cool, Amazon.
So if I don’t wash my car this weekend, it aint getting done. So I figure — Walmart pickup. I get everything in my cart for pickup. I’ll grab it tomorrow cause I gotta go into the office. Then it’s like Walmart turned into a shiny demon … in the middle of the road. AND HE SAID
“Want this delivered?
For free?
Today?”
That’s right, bitches. Walmart plus is free for the first month with free same day delivery. If you choose to keep it, it’s only $13 a month after that. Oh AND it comes with Paramount+. Wait, don’t you already pay a hundred dollars a year for Paramount+? “hisssssssssssss.”
And here’s my shit. On my counter.
That’s right. I even added some heavy cat litter and frozen pizzas. Got here in a few hours — only that long because I didn’t give a fuck so chose a time that it said was a “slow time.”
And this is the license plate frame I’m gonna go with:
So yeah, Amazon is going down. You know I’m always way behind on trends so if I’m here — they’re done for. And have you seen all the articles and videos about how Amazon is just filled with drop shippers and fake Chinese knock offs now? You don’t see quality name brands on Amazon anymore. They’ve made it nearly impossible to sell on their platform for legitimate businesses and they don’t care. They want you to buy the cheap Chinese junk. And most of what you see is “Sponsored” shit that doesn’t even match your search inquiry well.
Dammit. I hate Walmart AND Amazon. But I need convenient and FAST. Amazon Prime and Walmart+ prove that people will pay more for the speed. Can I get Home Depot in on this?
Also, I had the “End of the World” music video mixed up in my head with the “Bad Day” video which I always found funny. So BONUS TRACK:
It’s been an absolute fucking shit show of a week in the C household so it’s appropriate too.
Politics
Qubie is around 10 years old. It’s time to get another sticker. It’s time…
To get political.
Also way past time for a car wash. And I should get a new license plate frame. Any suggestions?
