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2023 Christmas Gingerbread with K2!

Posted on December 17, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 3 Comments

Today was a great day! This morning, I wrapped Christmas presents. Then this evening K2 came over to do gingerbread houses! We baked cookies, and decorated gingerbread houses while watching three cheesy Christmas movies on Netflix.

My family usually does a gingerbread party every year. This year there’s all sorts of drama in my family. I set a rock hard boundary, and well, might have been disowned? I don’t know. It’s for the best. It needed to be done. I want to talk to my SIL and see what everyone’s saying but NO — the point was to get OUT. So I must resist. But I still wanted to do gingerbread. K2 to the rescue!

We decided to get house kits. I got the Gingerbread Mansion from Target for $20. Cookies were required. I made keto cookies for me. They melted into a pan of solid raw cookie dough. I also made chocolate chip for K2 and Husband. Those worked out. We decided to put on a Christmas movie. So We set up in the living room so we could watch the movie while we worked!

Yep, I’m in my PJs. I didn’t get dressed today. I put out a plastic table cloth for easy clean up and K2 queued up the movies.

The first movie was Lindsey Lohan. She was a rich spoiled chick. Then she went skiing with her shallow finance and fell off the mountain. She got amnesia and ended up in a tiny town. She ended up being taken in to stay at the inn owned by a single dad who was about to lose everything. Yep, she fell in love. So did he. Go figure.

Then there was the Christmas Bitch movie. The lead guy was not attractive so it was kinda weird. They had a great relationship until Christmas. She HATES Christmas and he’s obsessed with Christmas. He believes Santa is real. He plans a week of activities for her and her daughter — oh yeah, single parent again. Bitch couldn’t even make it a week. She got into a big hissy fit and dumped him over loving Christmas. Like, WTF? You can’t let him have a damn week of holiday cheer? They’ve been together for months but fuck that! They ended up staying together even though they still disagree on if Santa is real. So ummmm… That one sucked.

Both of the previous movies with the single parents, the kid’s Christmas wish to Santa was for them to get together. Yall stay away from single parents during Christmas! Don’t fall for it!

Third movies a charm! Apparently, she had seen that one before. It was great! A journalist who writes a column about her terrible dating life falls in love with an online match. She hasn’t met him, but after two weeks she’s in love and she flies in to surprise him and meet him. Oh no, he used a fake picture! He’s just an asian guy! Boooooo! But she goes to the bar and see his friend, the picture he used. He promises to help her get with the hot guy if she pretends to be his girlfriend for the holiday because his family is so happy for him. She has nothing in common with the cute guy, but lies about everything anyway. Also, lets ignore that she fell in love with the guy over the phone and he’s still that guy, just asian? Which is bad? She comes around in the end and realizes that she loves him. It sounds stupid but it was actually a GREAT movie. It was hilarious. Let’s ignore how lame she was with the “weird” and quirky opinions that Die Hard is a Christmas movie (really, that whole thing is so old — everyone knows about this). Also, her favorite book was Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends.” WHAT? He’s heard of it? No way! One of the most famous children’s poetry book to exist? CRAZY! But no no no, it was still a good movie. The writers just really slacked off there.

K2 is like my favorite person to watch moves with. So we watched movies and glued candy to gingerbread. Yes glued. This aint Martha Stewart. No ones eating these things. Hot glue it together. Why yall making life difficult?

This is only the second gingerbread house she’s ever made but she did damn good. Like there was so much candy on that thing. No skimping. I went all out and tried my hardest. I actually like the back better than the front of mine, but whatever, It’s awesome and I love it.

We had a great time. And gingerbread tip of the year: I had the idea to wrap the cheap cardboard that comes with these premade houses with wrapping paper. I actually used a green gift bag. I’m a genius.

And of course, I took a fuck ton of photos of my house because I worked hard on that shit.

Merry Christmas!

I’ve Been Crocheting.

Posted on December 11, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

Where have I been for over a month? Crocheting. Stressing and crocheting. And sure, crocheting actually sounds like something I’d do. However, until like last month, I didn’t even know the difference between crocheting and knitting. I knew there was a difference, but not exactly what and which was which. Then Facebook got me.

How? Ads. Facebook kills me with ads. It’s like “you want this?” And I do. So, I don’t know how long ago, it started showing me The Woobles. The Woobles intrigued me. Not only is it a craft — it’s all in one. It includes EVERYTHING you need. So you can try out crochet without buying anything but this one kit. Look at this:

Yes, when the Halloween collection came out and I saw pumpkins and bats, I caved. That picture is for Luna the bat. It comes with beginner “easy” yarn that HAS ALREADY BEEN STARTED FOR YOU, all the colors you need, the stuffing, eyes, and crochet needle. But it also has step by step videos. In the reviews on Amazon, one of the only negative ones was that they videos were too slow and aimed at kindergartners. Bitch, some of us are LEARNING. We need crochet kindergarten.

It took until about row four before I even figured out the “yarn under” thing. Well, the second row four. I had to unravel the first attempt. But I did it! I created a bat! I MADE THIS. I had also ordered the mini pumpkin kit so I made that shit too. I was hooked (no pun intended). I wanted to do more, but all I knew how to make was that bat. But I had some yarn from a previous craft! So I bought a hook sized for the chenille baby blanket yarn and made en even BIGGER bat (stuffing from an old pillow). Holy shit, I’m amazing.

So then, I was like… I like this. I’ve been crocheting every evening while watching the old 90’s TV show “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” It’s simple to follow and doesn’t require a lot of attention. It’s also a cheesy throw back I enjoy. And I’ve been loving it. It’s relaxing. Instead of feeling like I’m wasting my evenings (and therefore my life) away aimlessly clicking on Reddit and waiting to retire — I’m enjoying my evenings. I’m making things again. So I ordered a kit to make a blanket, because what am I gonna do with all these bats?

Then I got antsy and made the penguin kit with his tiny aviator hat. Yall, these tiny kits (the pumpkin and the hat) are only $5 each. SO WORTH IT. Look how stinking cute he is! I’m so fucking good at this! I LOVE CROCHET. Look how fucking adorable that penguin with his hat is! He’s got stubby little wings yall! And a hat! Husband likes him so much it’s on his desk.

Then I started the blanket because I’m gonna knock this right on out.

Yeah… no. This shit is hard. One, that easy yarn TRICKED ME. It was so easy! I thought the chenille yarn was super hard because I couldn’t see my stitches, but I was wrong. This “afghan yarn” is 2 ply and slippery as FUCK. The stitches are sliding all over the place. And it barely holds together. It’s so hard to not stab right through it every stitch. So it’s slooooowwwwww going.

I’m not gonna lie. I thought about giving up on this shit. But NO. I’m gonna finish. This is my first big project and dammit, I’m gonna do it. And yes, I’m gonna fix that first dark green row because jesus, that’s terrible.

I’ve got the five color sequence done two and a half times now. I’ve figured out the yarn — that being that it’s going to stretch out and pull everywhere, just go with it. I’m not having to look at the pattern. And I can see why the pattern is the way it is. It took about 6 rows before the chevrons really started to stand out. I also thought the single crochet rows were worthless (each color is 4 rows) — but now I see. By doing the single crochet row and back stitching everything, the single row ends up completely on the back of the blanket and invisible from the front. This leaves only the two double crochet stitch rows showing on the front. It also makes them look like they’ve overlapping like fish scales. Nice. And this yarn may suck to work with, but god damn is it soft.

So yeah, Woobles. 100% recommend that shit. They were even on Shark Tank! Sure, if you already have the stuff to knit or crochet, it’s over priced. The people saying that already have hooks and shit and know yarn is cheap. But if you just wanna give it a go, this lets you do a whole project with everything. Even the little plastic eye balls! An yeah, I can look up stitches on youtube, but this is the stitches plus a slow step by step guide.

Everybody’s getting Woobles for Christmas!

Here’s my old lady ass crocheting with my cat. I love it!

Tattoo Sleeve Sessions 5 & 6

Posted on December 9, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

My shoulder is complete! I just scrolled back and I didn’t post session 5. That’s because I didn’t get any pictures of session 5 after it was complete the day of and then it was under second skin and then peeling and so I never got any good photos. As you’ll recall (click here) after session 4, we had added the blue flowers and outlined the entire top. Session 5 was doing the front flowers and some of the vine on the back. First, pictures:

This session was really exciting! Look at those colors! I originally wanted to do oranges and reds. But I’m so glad we added the blues. And look at that purple dahlia! She did such an amazing job! The flowers just look amazing! Red poppies too. It’s stunning. I can’t believe the colors. I never thought I’d want flowers as a tattoo, really. They’re just part of the sleeve. But, damn. I see why flowers are such a common tattoo theme. They’re just so gorgeous. And look at my curly green vine! So cute!

So yesterday, we had session 6. We finished up everything we had outlined and added the bats. I had worried about the pumpkin lid being too bright, but it look great! And having the full shoulder done just looks AWESOME. It’s exactly what I wanted. The exact coverage I wanted swinging down o my should blade. She referred to it as a “shawl” kinda coverage. But I think of it more as part of the arm. Like I keep saying, if you had an arm replaced cybernetically or even just a prosthetic, the shoulder is involved. So I wanted that. I want the entire arm/should. And I GOT IT!

I’m in love! Look at the vine on the back! I got my swirlies! Love the pumpkins vine on my back. I made sure to get her to send me the photos this time. And yes, Jacks face looks washed out. But keep in mind these are tattoos. Jacks face is over a year old so 100% healed with 30 layers of dead skin cells over it, as your skin should be — it’s natural protection. The front is only a month old so new skin, and the new work is FRESH ink. It will all be similar brightness when it heals.

Oh and the bats look whacky here. My neck was NOT happy about them. So they are actually very swollen and red. The ink is purple and grey and they fade out at the bottom. So they look super dark, but they are not. The top outline is solid but then they fade out in purple and grey — so very ethereal. Today, the swelling is down and the color is lighter, but my skin is still inflamed and there’s blood around them under the second skin so not gonna show you. She said we’d probably have to touch the bats up because my skin was so angry, she doesn’t think it will hold the ink well.

Nothing like the pain of a neck tattoo that might need to be redone! I’d say as far as pain goes, the front shoulder was probably the worst session so far. Tattooing the collar bone and that close to the neck was not pleasant. There’s also the INSANE sensation of hearing your skeleton resonating with the tattoo machine. It’s the same speed of the machine — which is right in your ear — but you’re hearing it from INSIDE your body and it’s an insanely deep, low sound. I asked her if that’s what I was hearing and she was like “yeah, isn’t it wild!” It was so weird. Like it hurt like hell, but I kinda wanted to hear it again just to experience it and be like “wow, that’s insane.” I got to hear it a lot that day. Sometimes I had to remind myself to breathe on that one.

Also, the leaves closest to my armpits were pretty painful. I can see why they say the armpits are the most painful to get tattooed. Which I find really weird because why do we need that many nerves in your arm pit? Seriously, I’m asking. It’s just as bad as the neck. Also the healing after session 5 (the front) was the most painful. It was like my ankle when it healed — NO TOUCH. The skin was very much sore and unhappy.

Today doesn’t feel bad so I think it will be a better healing experience. So yeah, I’m super thrilled with it. So thrilled than when I get done, I think I want a photoshoot. Seriously. A photo shoot to show off my tattoo. Here’s an action shot I took yesterday. I’m covering Devon’s face because I didn’t ask her permission to post this. My bro said I looked like I was having a lot of fun. Fun is not what I would call it. I was just excited and happy. These are long ass days of driving two hours there, hours of pain and sitting still, then a two hour drive home. But, I love the results!

So another hiatus on the tattoo for now. Per my agreement with husband, I need to replace the money in my savings that I spent in the deck and pool pump. Then we can finish. We did an outline / trace / mold for her to work from next time. We’re gonna add more to the arm to beef it up and give it more of a wrap around look. I thought we were just going to add the the back, but Devon wants to add to the front and back. Just some more leaves to widen it out. Then at that appointment we will plan the lover arm. It won’t be much — but it will bring it to about a 3/4 sleeve — maybe a bit longer with a trickle of vine. It’ll be pumpkin vine swirls and some of the colorful stuff from the top.

I’m so in love with it!

The artist is Devon Greig of Alchemy Nashville Tattoo. Also known as theswiftstorm on Instagram.

Collecting

Posted on November 7, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

Today, I got an email about the crowd-funded Tenth Anniversary Edition of Firefly: The Game by Gale Force Nine. (Click here to see what I’m talking about — campaign closed months ago though).

So some background: Husband and I like board games. When we got married, we had a very small collection between us. We liked to host game nights and we expanded on it. Here’s a picture from one of our first game nights.

Look at that adorable baby game collection in a blurry photo taken from a flip phone. So we added a “few” games ourselves. Plus his family does Christmas Wish Lists, so I add a few good games to ours every year. So over the years, we’ve been gifted a lot of games. His aunt even cleaned out her collection and sent us about 15 games. So now, after 11 years, we’re at this:

So, we kinda collect board games. Husband likes the harder strategic games with no chance involved. I like lighter games with chance so husband doesn’t always win. I also like trivia games so we have a bunch of great ones I’ve been gifted, but husband won’t ever play them. Which is stupid. I love trivia!

Anyway, he wanted to get me to play a longer more involved game which I had refused. So he tricked me with Firefly. Because I love Firefly. So fine, I’ll play a two hour game but if you steal Zoe, so help me god I will quit. That was an actual thing that happened and I’m sorry for being such a sore sport about it. So we have Firefly and one expansion – Pirates and Bounty Hunters — which I think is how he was going to steal Zoe from my crew. But there are loads of expansions; we just never got them all. Probably because if I get a good crew member, I don’t want you to be able to steal them. THAT’S NOT FUN. So, then came the 10th Anniversary edition. The game, all 5 expansions, EVERY promo card ever made (and those aren’t easy to find — I only have like 3 plus the Big Damn Heroes), a brand new expansion, plus a big damn box to organize it all!

Do not underestimate a big damn box. I bought the Terraforming Mars storage box (yes, JUST a box) and it’s a life saver. It saves so much time setting up the game. (Note: The game collection photo does not show the giant Terraforming Mars box. It’s downstairs. You can see all the expansions there though). Also, have you SEEN how many decks of cards Firefly has? You need a separate card table to play it effectively. This box, has them all ORGANIZED. So I ordered the Firefly game for $220. Honestly, just the game and expansions would cost more than that. And you wouldn’t get the box or the custom hand-painted ships, storage trays, huge neoprene game mat (the original board plus two expansion boards), custom dice for every ship, plus the extra ships that were released to buy separately. All of that in one, huge, organized box. WORTH IT. (Plus I’m still banging my head on a wall for missing the all wooden Catan 25th Anniversary edition that is SO AWESOME. Yall know how I feel about quality game pieces).

So yeah, I bought the Firefly Anniversary Edition. So today I got an email about it. They’re getting the first loads of games into the warehouse! On schedule to arrive in February. Sweet. Whats this suggestion? A Witcher game?

Tell me more about this game whose entire run has somehow escaped me until less than an hour before the campaign ends. Goal reached in under 5 minutes. Impressive. Almost 4.5 million raised by almost 30,000 backers? Wait, 45 stretch goals unlocked?

Yeah, I bought it. It was really the stretch goals that sold me on it. They have to include a-whole-nother damn game box (matching, of course) to hold all the stretch goals. The original game has 3 stories. Well, with stretch goals, you’re getting 8. Cause they raked in 4.5 million dollars in PREORDERS. I sprung for the deluxe pledge so I can have all the miniatures instead of cardboard cutouts. Oh, and the first day freebie I missed of the alternate figurine of Geralt on Roach.

I did not spring for the expansions on this one. I figure 8 stories is a lot. And the stories are replayable — so that’s a lot of games. I’m excited to get husband into The Witcher. He’s also excited because this is a story driven game so more like D&D meets board game. I’m hoping we’ll play a story and then he’ll want to watch that episode.

But the point is, that email tricked me! You can’t show a collector shit they collect and tell them they won’t be able to buy it in an hour. Fuck you. Now I have to buy it.

We’ve REALLY got to start hosting game nights again. They died off with COVID. This year we had exactly ONE to try out some new Christmas games – Charty Party, Puns of Anarchy, and Ransom Notes. The latter is the winner of that group.

Anyone wanna come pay a trivia game? I have 90’s Trivia and Geek Trivia that’s never been opened! Plus there’s Smart Ass and The Art of Science. Husband was even gifted Star Wars trivia (also unopened). Or we can play Christmas games! I have Christmas Vacation and the Santa expansion for Catan! He gives presents when you roll his number!

Oh. Also… a confession. Yeah, I got in on The Holiest Crap Kickstarter too. That shit looks funny as fuck. The trailer is hilarious. The concept is hilarious. It’s going to be hilarious to play and my inlaws WILL NEVER SEE IT.

“How is the Holiest Crap like real life? I have a soul that I don’t want people to see. I’m scared of them knowing who I really am. That’s why I build a wall to hide behind.

“The Wall is made of my flaws and wrong doings called “vices.” Cause when my enemies are distracted by my Chicken Crap, my Bull Crap, or my Hippo Crap, they can’t see my soul and attack me for who I really am.

“If I cover my vices with enough virtues, it’s like getting away with murder and I can flush it all away for points!”

Yall, that game trailer looks like a Saturday Night Live skit or a commercial for Log (It’s big it’s heavy, it’s wood!)

ONE WEEK TO HALLOWEEN!

Posted on October 24, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

One week til the best holiday of the year! Get your candy, carve your pumpkins, queue up all the fun movies! Get some candy in case you get trick-or-treaters! I have yet to get one, but I’m gonna get a full size candy bar just in case we get our FIRST one. It’ll be “the Golden Snickers.”

I had husband take some festive photos when I had my Halloween dress on for the Hocus Pocus drag brunch. Thanks, husband! If I ever go missing or die — THIS is the official photo you are to use:

And how could I leave out Norbert:

Sunday, K2 is coming over to do a Hocus Pocus marathon (both 1 AND 2). I hope she makes pumpkin muffins!

My in-laws will be here on Halloween day. Man, they better not bring any of that zealous catholic guilt and try to ruin my best day with some “Satan’s Birthday” bullshit. I don’t have anything planned for the day of. My big Halloween was the Drag Show and our movie day this weekend.

Drag show was awesome. The venue made it insanely overpriced because fuck that venue. The show was fine but then in the second half where they actually did Hocus Pocus numbers was fantastic! The finale was all three Sanderson Sisters doing their big song from the dance in the first movie, “I Put a Spell on You.” It was fucking fabulous.

Oh and I watched Renfield on Amazon Prime. It’s a new movie with Nicolas Cage as Dracula. It’s got Awkwafina too! It’s a Horror Comedy. It was especially hilarious to me because Renfield’s thing is that he goes to CODA (Codependants Anonymous) meetings. Which LOL, so do I! So, of course, I found that hilarious all by itself. Here’s the trailer if you’re interested:

You talk about your scars not your wounds.

Posted on October 21, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I’m watching a YouTube of two doctors (Family Med and a Psychologist) discussing mental health. It’s very interesting. The title comes from that. This is over and hour, but right now, they’re talking about people sharing their stories. Specifically people sharing their stories online. The psychologist said the title: “talk about your scars, not your wounds.” He expanded on that to mean, talking about things you can discuss without breaking down and having nightmares for a week. If your tik tok goes viral, be prepared for all the feedback on your trauma. So don’t talk about something that’s still raw.

Luckily I’m 40 with a fuck ton of therapy under my belt. I find that talking about my fucked up shit helps me. It gets it out there. Like it’s not a secret. It’s not my fault it happened. I’m not the only one that went through that shit. So it helps ME in being open like “hey, this is a part of who I am. There’s reasons I’m fucked up, please understand.” But also a bigger reason I talk about my mental health is to show other people, yo — “you’re not the only one.” And then there’s also a little bit of total selfishness.

How do I explain… There’s some people I know of — who have a lot of trauma of their own. And they know me very superficially through third parties. If you don’t know anything about me — but you hear my accomplishments, I sound like green pasture, right? I moved away from my family, went to college, graduated, have a great job, married, live in an amazing house, have a funny cat, post pictures of me and my friends by my own pool. One of these people was having a major psychological crisis and I found out that part of their trauma was comparing themselves to ME because we’re the same age. I was BLOWN AWAY.

So like, I want people to know, it ain’t all roses. I grew up with a lot of family trauma. When I finally moved away, I broke down. I failed multiple semesters of college. I was self harming and suicidal and agoraphobic. I finally sought out therapy. Let’s insert an *AGAIN* here. I had sought out therapy secretly when I was old enough before I moved away from my family. I was so good at having no feelings and presenting a fake front, that after two sessions with this man, he decided to give me his treatment plan. It included seeing a dermatologist about my acne and also working on losing weight and dressing better — which I took offense because I picked out my best outfit for this bullshit. It was Lane Bryant pants and shirt! That’s quality, expensive shit. I remember this so well. It was dark brown dress pants that flared but they had a rough edge on the bottom. The shirt was a green plaid button up — but one that was cut to form fit and flatter. But I mean, I was super fat, so it’s not gonna look GREAT on me. But I was wearing good clothes that fit and were stylish. It was my favorite outfit. So I pushed back. And he said this exact quote “Society doesn’t find THIS acceptable” — while using a two arm gesture referring to my entire body. Cause I was fat.

I left and cried in the car. When I got home (no one knew I was seeking therapy or even needed it – I was totally happy). I stayed in my room for THREE DAYS and just cried. I couldn’t wear those clothes ever again. It was highly traumatic. So it took a few years before I was willing to go again. But back in 2003/4ish, I was rock bottom. So I went. And they put me on meds and a standing Monday appointments with a behavioral (talk) therapist. Eventually, I started going to CODA for codependent people who come from fucked up families. So I was hitting the root of my issues finally. And it was hard but it was worth it. I only did it because I was literally going “At worst I kill myself in the morning.” In the vein of Wesley’s quote from the Dread Pirate Roberts in the Princess Bride.

And yeah, I didn’t graduate college until 10 years AFTER highschool. Even though I was in school that entire time. I was a joke. Literally, it was a family joke. There’s a Christmas ornament on my Dad’s Christmas tree of me as a graduate — from looooooong before I graduated. Because they got everyone custom ornaments like a nurse and shit but thats what they chose for me. Not something like a painter or reflecting a hobby. Nope. Also, no one told me I could have all those failed semesters wiped from my record due to mental illness so my GPA is a 2.1. Yeah, ouch.

Yall. I am rambling now. I did not intend for ANY OF THAT to be in this post. I just got going. The POINT of this post was supposed to be a very dark humor post about an incident that happened this week.

Incident is too strong of a word. Let’s just say – something that came up.

I was browsing Reddit cause that’s most of my time. There was a thread on “Ask Reddit” about what you can’t understand how people can afford. And one of the joke/maybe not so joking ones was “A second family.” Because dude, most of us are barely affording our lives — you’re gonna have a whole ass second one? Who has the money and TIME for that!? I come home and watch youtube because I’m too exhausted to commit to an actual show or movie. Yall are juggling multiple partners and kids? What?

But… MY DAD HAD A SECOND FAMILY! And I had totally forgotten until I posted about it in this Reddit thread. Like for real — LOL — Laugh Out Loud. I forgot my dad had a second family.

So I was messaging with my husband like woah, dude, I can’t believe that slipped my mind. I wonder if my psychiatrist even knows? Like would I mention my stepbrother (I wouldn’t) and be asked how it was growing up with a step family? “Oh no no, I didn’t know he existed until I was 16.” We had declared bankruptcy for the second time and lost our house for the second time (the one with the pool where I got my moms flamingos from). We couldn’t afford a three bedroom apartment, so my evil sister moved in with mom and I moved in with dad. (Getting fucked up, right?) Then my other sister had a car wreck and had to move back home so she moved into my room at dads.

Dad called a family meeting. Not in a healthy way. He does that shit in weird ways. Like he went to help at 911 as a firefighter so he could die a hero. So we had a family meeting about how he wasn’t going to come back. It was weird.

So family meeting. Over spaghetti. I hate my dads spaghetti. He buys the chunky sauce that has like whole ass chunks of carrots and onions and tomatoes and shit. That aint right. So he announces my step brother is moving in. (My older siblings were old enough to remember the initial affair, marriage, attempt to take us away from mom – so I don’t think this was huge news to them). I didn’t even know I had a stepbrother. Apparently, he was moving in through.

Listen, by this time, I was checked the fuck out. I wasn’t remotely upset mentally. I was withdrawn eventually from this situation by a charge from my sister in law that “yo — she’s not OK, she can’t live there anymore.” I was so good at hiding and not acknowledging my emotions that I didn’t know I HAD them. I was really fucked up medically. Stress will kill you. I was having episodes of stomach pain that would bow me over. I was seeing doctors and on smooth muscle relaxers. It was all stress. But I wasn’t self aware enough to know that, much less convey that to a doctor.

So this news wasn’t distressing. I don’t think I even had a “here we go again with more bullshit” reaction. I had no reaction. So I got up to get a glass of milk. Perhaps my stomach was acting up? This was read by my father as me reacting. So I got chewed out about how we’ve always been treated as superior. My step brothers always known we had it better than him and a better life. It’s not his fault and we WILL accept him. Like “OK, dude, jesus – I’m just getting some milk.” I distinctly remember the moment and where I was standing by the ugly apartments moon light over a counter between the kitchen and dining room. He moved in and slept on the couch.

So yeah, my dad totally had a second family. He had an affair while i was a baby. He got her pregnant. He named my step brother my actual brothers middle name. Then they decided to be a happy family so he decided to divorce mom. She wanted us to call her mom and for him to get full custody (probably so he wouldn’t have to pay child support). I was too young to remember though.

No idea why it just completely died and no one told me we had a step brother LOL

I’d even stay at my dads apartment sometimes (cause I didn’t know he was a bastard — and he could afford canned coke. And he had a NES). He had a spare room “for me.” But I wasn’t allowed to decorate it at all. Probably because it was also my step brothers room. So that makes sense now. I was allowed to leave one stuffed animal there. I chose my BEST ONE. It was a huge soft lion with long arms that were weighted so he could give you hugs. What a fucking waste.

Man, I bet all of this shattered my moms heart. Especially, when I bragged that dad bought me a 12-pack of cans of surge! Why didn’t she ever tell me anything? I only found out when I was adult and decided dad could go fuck himself on my own volition. She said she didn’t want to ruin my relationship with him. FUCK THAT. Mistakes were made.

But yeah, so my dad had a second family. What a weird thing. Also, what a weird thing to forget. Like I have so much childhood trauma, I forgot about that one. I mean listen, my dad is a clusterfuck. (My sister is worse in affects on my own life). I’ve gone extremely low contact with dad. Unlike my siblings, I don’t pretend to give a fuck. Because… I kinda don’t. What a bastard.

Any time they expect things from him or are surprised at something he did, I bring up Penny the cat. He fucked that cat up so much that she lost her hair and lived on the top stair by the attic. She had been the sweetest cat when I stayed at dads apartment in my fake room. My sister watched her while my dad was out of town and dad could never get her back because she hid from him and refused to be caught. She grew her hair back. Great cat. So yeah. Like if dad mentally fucked up a CAT that bad, why are you expecting him to do decent with humans? The man is incapable. Stop it. He couldn’t even meet the emotional needs of a fucking cat. He can’t meet yours.

So yeah, sorry this was so deep. I was literally amused and validated when I realized I forgot about my dads second family. Like oh yeah, that’s why I hate that guy. I’m right.

He had a motorcycle and a boat too. While we had nothing and lost two houses and mom had 4 jobs. What a fucking bastard.

Tattoos on Young People

Posted on October 15, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

So while we were working on my sleeve on Friday, a family came in to get their young daughter tattooed. The shop doesn’t take walk-ins so they were sent away. They were also informed that you can’t tattoo minors in Tennessee even with parental consent, but they could drive to Kentucky and do it there. They wanted to get the little girl a cross. She looked, I don’t know, 12ish? My artist said she won’t tattoo minors even with consent. It’s too early to dedicate to something for life.

So I didn’t give it much thought until I just saw a girl with a Volkswagen Beetle tattooed on her arm. It was very cute. And 1,000% what I would have gotten tattooed when I was younger. Even when I was old enough. One of my dorm rooms was decorated in Beetle ads. I have a very well done painting of a Beetle. I drove a 2001 Beetle for a while.

Growing up I was just obsessed with Volkswagen Beetles and Vans. They’re just so adorable. I loved the aesthetic. Then, the very YEAR I turned 16 (woot 1998), they came out with the “New” Beetle. If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is. So my obsession deepened. I even have internet user names with Beetle in them.

But Mrs C, you’re not a Beetle person. I’M NOT! But I WAS and I would have totally chose that as a tattoo. And then regretted it. Why? Well, I finally got to drive one.

I drove a used 2001 Dark Blue Beetle for a few years. It was adorable as I always wished it would be. It was a hatchback which was a crazy wonderful new obsession. Every car should be a hatchback. And yall, the headroom in that thing was amazing. It was a very comfortable car. And it had a little flower vase built in and I had a fun fake flower in there all the time. It was awesome… peripherally.

See, I had given my sister my old 1994 Civic when I got the Beetle. I had to eventually take the 1994 Civic back. Why? Because Volkswagen Beetles are pieces of fucking shit. They have infinite problems. Maybe if you buy it new and only drive it 3 years, you’d be fine. But mine was not new. It had issues. Once the fusebox melted. They couldn’t replace it either. Why? Because everyone’s fuse boxes melted so they were on order. SHOULDN’T THAT BE A RECALL?

To change the battery, you had to remove the headlight. God help me, putting a new bulb in my back drivers side light was a contortionists nightmare. They are not made to be a car anyone can work on. The only people that can work on them are the Volkswagen Dealership. $$$$$ I had so many problems with that car. SO. MANY. PROBLEMS.

So many, in fact, that I had to get rid of it and go back to my 1994 Civic. A car that was 10 years OLDER. And That just ruined them for me.

Never meet your heroes.

So yeah. I would have gotten that exact tattoo and I would have loved it. And now, I’d cuss about Volkswagens being a fucking piece of shit every time I look at it. Good thing I waited till I was 40 for tattoos.

Friday the 13th Mayhem!

Posted on October 13, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I’ve been saving this meme for like two weeks. Remember the Allstate Mayhem commercials? Do they still make those? Those were the best. Let me do some research.

*5 minutes later* Oh Lord, I’m not doing research I’m just watching Mayhem commercials on Youtube now. Let me pause this…

*30 minutes later* — Fuck, I went to post this meme on Facebook and now I’m doing THAT. Wait a second…

“Allstate developed the campaign “Mayhem” and the character (Mayhem) in response to being ranked fourth in advertising spending behind GEICO, State Farm, and Progressive.” “Nina Abnee, executive vice president at Burnett [the advertising agency], said “We wanted to kick Flo’s ass.” “

Dang, this campaign launched in 2010! Wow. I do love Mayhem though, he’s hilarious. If you haven’t seen the commercials I’m talking about, you have the hit up youtube. Here’s one of the most memorable ones to me:

“I’m a teenage girl. My BFF Becky texted and said shes kissed Johnny. Well, that’s a problem ’cause I like Johnny. Now, I’m emotionally compromised, whoopsies *hits car in parking lot*, I’m all OMG. Becky’s not even hot!”

Dean Winters is hilarious. He just plays it deadpan. He’s always in the suit and tie. In one commercial he was a cat knocking shit off counters and laying on a bookshelf.

According to Wikipedia, he was based off of Mr White from Reservoir Dogs. They mention a run of commercials in 2018. I can’t see anything about them being out of production. Looks like he was in a commercial in 2022 and an Allstate spokeswoman said. “There’s still lots of Mayhem in the world, so he could pop in when you least expect it.” I bet he’s crazy expensive now since his career has really blown up in the last decade.

So Happy Friday the 13th!

Revisiting a Review: “Bug Bite Thing”

Posted on October 12, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I’ve posted a review of the Big Bite Thing already. It left a hickey on my forehead. See this previous post for photos and initial review. The gist of it is: This is a professional hickey maker.

Here’s my update on that previous review with photo:

We’ve discussed mosquitoes love for the sweet sweet vintage of my blood. Well, last night, a mosquito in my house got me FOUR TIMES on the shoulder. When I saw the welts in the mirror, I decided to give this thing another try. It’s not my face this time. So I ran up to my husband and got him to use it on the four bites on my back.

I have attached the resulting picture. My husband was laughing uncontrollably. This thing is a professional grade hickey maker. That’s it. Now, maybe hickeys are the cure to mosquito bites and these people are the first ones to figure that out. I suppose this is a more sterile way to create a hickey so there is that. So you get 2 stars.

I’m gonna be honest. Those four bites DON’T itch anymore. My husband swore the itch would come back when they recovered from the trauma, but they’re still not itchy. I’m not going to say they’re fine because now they’re purple, but it is what it is.

I may sound silly, but it’s a scientific fact: “Sucking is sufficient to burst small superficial blood vessels under the skin.” What does this product do? “Suction Tool” is in the TITLE. We’re all idiots.

I’m not gonna lie though. As long as it’s covered by clothes, I’ll use this thing. With full acknowledgment of the hickey that will result. I pray I never have to explain why I have a cluster of perfectly round hickeys to a medical professional. Right now it’s looks like a giant chicken stood on my back. Chickens are descended from dinosaurs so I’m going with Raptor attack.

Tattoo Sleeve Session 4

Posted on October 8, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 3 Comments

So the pool cover was put on yesterday. This perfectly coincided with my first tattoo appointment of the off season. I have three appointments booked right now. Yesterday, November, and December. Yesterday we designed the top and got it stenciled, traced, and started. We hope to be able to finish the coloring in in the next two long sessions. I made a deal with my husband that I wouldn’t schedule any new appointments in exchange for letting me build the deck this summer. When I restore my savings from the deck cost, I can schedule more appointments to finish the tattoo. It will have more to beef up the back of my arm and go on down my forearm as well. It’s a great motivation to spend less!

We started texting back and forth Friday night about the design. I know this is how every tattoo artist does it. You schedule your appointment a year in advance but they don’t sketch it until the night before which is insanely stressful. She sent me this:

I had notes. Why re the berries so big? They’re as big as Jack’s eyes! Bigger, actually! I looked down at my arm and his eyes are pretty big. But she said that if we went any smaller they wouldn’t read as berries. Also a red rose? *wretching noises* Can you get more stereotypical tattoo? In her defense, I get where she got it though. The berries were from my wedding bouquet as are some of the flowers that will make an appearance below the elbow. My bouquet had red and orange roses in it. Red roses are romantic. That is the only sense that I like them in – pure love. When my husband gives me red roses, it’s romantic. That’s the only time I should ever see red roses (my favorite roses are actually the orange ones with a pink border).

So she decides to just redo the front completely. She nailed the back though. Look at those swirly vines!

I’m also real worried about that pumpkin lid there (Jack O Lantern lid). Even after I went and sacrificed one of my porch pumpkins to show her want I meant by Jack O Lantern Lid.

But I’m gonna have to trust her on that. She told me to trust her so fine. She’s got an art degree and way too many years of tattooing under her belt. Still, now we’re in the evening before my tattoo and don’t have a front! So she’s like well what flowers DO you like? Fuck. So I’m frantically googling “Fall flowers” over here and sending her pictures and names.

Well, the red poppies are from momma. She loved red poppies. She had already loved them, but then we went to Italy and she saw the fields of wild poppies in person. It was a memory and a connection and I loved to paint her poppies or give her poppies. Once, I even pulled over on the side of the road and picked a huge handfuls of wild poppies for her. The city had seeded them in the median as an alternative to mowing grass.

So red poppies. Who doesn’t love a fucking dahlia? K and I have even discussed getting matching dahlia tattoos in different colors. Fucking beautiful flowers. Oh and I love those yellow pompoms. Craspedia. AKA “Drumstick” or “Billy Button” flowers. I love when there’s like 3 tall ones in a mixed arrangement. I have some on my counter right now! So I’m just throwing flowers at her. Here’s some cosmos (I was actually thinking of reddish brown “chocolate cosmos”). However, cosmos come in a variety of colors so I was like hey, if you want to add colors, here. I mean the tattoo is looking very brown as it stands.

Then I waited anxiously. Very anxiously. Had I made her mad? WHAT’S HAPPENING?

Then she sends this:

First, note all the watermarks. Dude, I’ve paid you a ton of money. I have an appointment in like 15 hours. I’m not gonna steal your work. BUT

I kinda love it. Would I have EVER said put blue flowers in it? Fuck no. But I like them. It’s a very nice pop of color and contrast. And look at momma’s poppies and my yellow pompoms! She does have a good eye for color. We had a little more back and forth about the pumpkin lid. She smoothed it out a lot. But I’m just gonna have to trust.

I’m the one who wanted a Jack O Lantern lid. One, I’m not a super big flower person. Well, I mean I actually love flowers. Momma was an AVID gardener and we went to the botanical gardens almost weekly growing up. But like – pumpkins. I’m a pumpkin person. And I LOVE the 2 pumpkins she did. But they’re not hugely prominent. They’re kinda small. Like I need more pumpkin. So I thought — Jack O Lantern. I fucking love Halloween and Fall and carving pumpkins. But how can we put a Jack O Lantern in this gorgeous very artistic tattoo without it look cheesy? Then it hit me — Jack O Lantern LID. A nod to Jack O Lanterns. I AM A GENIUS. Anyway, we’ll see how she executes it. She reminds me that these pictures are just references. OK.

Saturday morning I wake up bright and early so I can eat before I head out. She’s two hours away and it’ll be past dinner time before I get home. Here’s the Saturday morning “before” shot. Note: I’ve bought two strapless bras for the healing process. We’re going hard with three months back to back, so it’ll need 3 months of no bra strap.

I watched “6 Underground” on Netflix while she worked. It was a good movie. I love Ryan Reynolds. While she was making the stencils she said we’d have to trace them out this time. Now, I did hate being a coloring book last time she did that. However, I had already decided I’d let her choose how to do it since these appointments are so close together. She was piecing together MULTIPLE stencils to follow my body contours. Plus doing some hand drawing where they connect. So she said this is just too much to do multiple times. Yeah, OK. So first she tattooed the stencils on:

Originally, there wasn’t supposed to be so much on my chest. Of course she disagreed and that this was always the case. I have photo evidence that it was not, but I aint picking fights with my artist. I actually like it. I despise that sleeves usually cut off at the shoulder where I call “the Barbie seam”. Like, if you have a cybernetic arm or a prosthetic, that shits gonna include your shoulder joint. So should your sleeve. So after studying the stencil for a long time… fuck it, let’s do it.

The outlining took ages. So we didn’t get as much coloring in done as I expected. Jack got his catholic halo (not that that’s the intention LOL — I just wanted a frame around him so he would really POP). It is solid green, but in the photos it looks very mottled. She was REALLY packing in the color (as she should), and my skin was angry. She commented on how pissed my skin was and that if it heals patchy, we might have to go over it again. I’m not worried. She also colored two more leaves and she did two of the blue cosmos. I kinda love these cosmos! She wants to go back and do more detail on the frame around Jack, but I’m not positive I want it.

So for reference, here it is this morning from front and back so you can see where it falls on my body:

The bats have not been abandoned, but they will not be stenciled. They will be hand placed. Also probably more on my back now and at least one that peeps up on my neck.

I’m THRILLED with where this is going. I’m in love with it. I got a little anxious when I showed husband. There was a lot of miscommunication about me have THREE appointments already scheduled (BEFORE the deck was ever started). Also that it would go further down my arm (was always the intention. In fact, it was originally suppose to wrap around my arm too). And I think the bats on the neck scares him. But like, they make amazing tattoo makeup now. The only time I’d ever need t cover it up would be like court or an interview. Hell, I can pop a zit cover over a small bat. It’s fine. His words were “It’s a lot.”

So that brought me down. But I get it. It IS a lot. Especially when 2 years ago I didn’t have any tattoos. Now I’m like, INK ME. But yall know me, I like to do it right. And to me, asymmetry is gorgeous in tattoos. And I love sleeves. I don’t like the patchwork look of tattoos placed wherever there is space (though, some people love that and I do think those sticker sleeves are adorable. Lets all just be happy with our ink).

I even took this picture to show Devon (though I did not). It’s all the work tank tops I bought this year:

Listen, I still kinda hate my big fat arms. BUT after that surgery, they don’t jiggle and sag so much. And I could have NEVER done something like this before. And I have LOVED this tattoo for almost a year now (yes, his face is a year healed in these pictures). I haven’t regretted it for one second. It took a part of me I hated and made it something I wanna show off. I keep telling people, I’m drawing your attention away from my bald spots to my cleavage and tattoos.

And I don’t like people, but damn I love all the comments people make about it. Do I want to see photos of your cat? I like cats. “Did you see her bad ass tattoo?” Heh. This is art. ON ME. On my ugly body. This and the tummy tuck and boobs were like the best decisions ever.

If I was willing to wear a wig and do my makeup, this would BY FAR be my hottest era.

My mother-in-law is gonna LOVE IT.