Author: cursingcats.com

Mood

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I had a lovely brunch with my friends today at the swanky brunch place. It was delicious I had bacon and strawberries with my omelet. But I find myself in a mood. A mood best described as “Jesus Christ, I hate the human race.” No, not because of my friends. Just a general mood.

I’m anxious. My husband has a wound on his back that is going to take forever to heal and I’m worried about him. One, I know it makes him crazy anxious. But two, He doesn’t get enough good food to heal a wound like that. A male of his weight should get 51 grams of protein a day according to the internets. And I’d be surprised if he gets half that on a normal day. And that’s the normal amount — he needs even more than that to create new skin to cover and fill a hole bigger than a quarter. Like it’s gonna take a long time to heal anyway. But I’m worried it won’t heal for him. I’m legit worried that he just doesn’t eat the nutrients his body needs for that kinda construction work.

So I have that on my mind. I also felt a bit like I didn’t have much to contribute to conversation at brunch. I adore my friends and these are two of my besties. So I know they don’t care. But I don’t know, I feel so boring and uninteresting. And when I’m anxious I’m just not super chatty. So I feel like a boulder, does that make sense?

Plus I had to go to the grocery store after brunch. In the pouring rain. Hence the “hate the human race” mood. Like seriously, I hate these fucking people. So many fucking people. And really, just no. You can’t do anything right when I’m in this mood. But really, is it so fucking hard to slice meat? Why is only one meat slicer working? And I’ve waited here longer than those people wanting sandwiches, so why do they get their meat cut before me? We should be taking turns! It’s my turn! MINE! They weren’t even here when I started standing here waiting on your slow ass. Slice my fucking deli meat. And bitches, MOVE. Also, put on your goddamn shoes and get off your phone.

Mood.

So I bought two big pumpkins and two little pumpkins. Cause fucking I deserve it. And I came home and put them on the porch and the counter. And then I remembered those gorgeous yellow mums I’ve been coveting when I drive by the nursery. So I went out again and got two of those. And went back to the store for 4 more pumpkins.

I did not get the mums I coveted so much. They’re fully bloomed and GORGEOUS. However, the ladies at the nursery recommended these instead. They have not bloomed yet but will in two weeks. And they should bloom all the way through Thanksgiving — longer than the ones I coveted. So these will be gorgeous in two weeks.

I’ve never put a bunch of pumpkins on the porch for Fall. But honestly, yall I deserve it. I’ve been so drained lately. I even saw the doctor about how shitty I’ve been feeling and he couldn’t help. Not emotionally shitty, thats just a passing mood. I mean physically shitty. I’m so tired and keep getting hot flashes and headaches. And I need to be open to new jobs which is crazy stressful. So seeing something cute on my porch really brightens my day more than you would think. When I’m coming home I’m looking forward to it. And I adore pumpkins. So when I see something bright or decorative when I pull into the driveway, it really lifts my spirits. It’s like “this is why I work.” Ya know?

If some asshole steals my pumpkins, I’m gonna fucking lose it. FYI.

Killing It

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I signed up for Planet Fitness today. I went with K. I stopped crossfit last November for my surgeries. Now I’m getting back into working out. So I had my husband take a “before shot” this morning. I’ve gained 20lbs from not working out and recovering from surgeries. But holy shit, look at me! The red is TODAY. 20lbs HEAVIER.

I look great. I’m used to just looking at my body naked and all the imperfections, but I’m looking good in my sports bra and leggings. Plastic Surgery A+!

So the November shot I was around 245lbs and at the strongest I’ve probably ever been. Today’s shot, the red sports bra, I’m 265lbs and have no muscles at all. Wow.

I age well. With enough plastic surgery 😉

Case of the Mondays

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Holy shit, my Monday has been rough. It started out like it was going to be all good, to lure me into its trap. I woke up before my alarm and petted my precious Jack Jack for a minute. I needed to be on time today for testing that they wanted me to come in for on Friday but I couldn’t (cause Mr C had minor surgery and was high as fuck so I had to husband-sit). So I was rolling to get there quite easily ahead of time.

I usually get in at or slightly after 8:00am. Today, I arrived easily at 7:25. Fuck yeah. That’s in major rush hour traffic too, which I apparently usually don’t have. And just as I went to swipe my badge, I realized I did not have it. Fuck me. So I had to come home to get it. Then, right as I pull in my drive way and hit the bump, the tire pressure light comes on. Gahhhh dammit.

So I go back to work and now it’s 8:15. Fucking rush hour! It never takes that long. So, at work, of course nothing works. Because that would be too easy. Nope, everything’s broken. You said that because we only had one computer that works this one specific task, it would inevitably break, and you’d just laugh ’cause you told those fuckers they better fix your computer. But you’re not laughing, you’re just fucking pissed because it’s MONDAY.

Then somehow this megadumbass doesn’t invite you to a very important meeting. The kind that must be done in person once each year or you lose your super special privileges. So now you have to make it up next Monday. The Monday you were going to stay home in the morning to watch the super important milestone first launch of the SLS to the moon with your husband. The launch yall had planned for years to go see in person but now Mr C doesn’t wanna go. Fuck it all. I’ll just go to this meeting instead. Not that they’d really take away the privilege that only two other people in the building have. I’d love to see that. Ha. But you don’t mess with security. Every office has their politics and at my office, they’re the mean girl club. So you don’t shake that particular boat. Even though they’re stupid bitches. For the record, they’re stupid bitches.

Ok, my car makes it thru work without going flat. That’s something. I’ll get groceries then swing by the gas station for air. Only the air pump is out of fucking order. THANKS. And the other gas station only takes quarters and you don’t even have cash. AHHHH. It’s ok. I’m cool. I’ll just get a car wash and use their air pump! Only apparently, they don’t have air pumps! Those things you assumed were air pumps are just air guns to spray you the crevices of your car. But now you’re trapped in the god damned line so you can’t get out. Guess we’re washing the car now.

If you have pressurized air guns at a fucking car wash, why not just make them tire pumps? Like one or two? Just one? No? Fuck you.

I have a headache and it’s not even over yet. I still need to go out to the garage and use the car powered pump to put air in my tires and hope it’s just a slow leak and not that I ran over something. Cause my car doesn’t have that fancy technology that tells you what tire and how much pressure it lost, it just has a indicator light that looks like a flat tire. It’s like me, goes straight to panic mode.

Fuck Mondays. I need a tylanol.

The Television

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I’ve been watching Netflix’s the Sandman. It’s wonderful. So wonderful that I’m trying to watch it as slowly as possible. I watched the first five episode in one binge and have tried to reserve the rest. It’s just too good. I don’t know what it is about it. But I know I’ll be sad when it’s gone. I highly recommend it. Pretty much anything Neil Gaiman does seems to be perfect. Good Omens was magnificent as well.

Mr C and I have been watching Stranger Things too. I suppose I thought it would be too scary to watch. But with all the hype for season 4, I finally broke down. We binged the entire third season yesterday. I enjoy watching things with Mr C. So having a Saturday where we just watched 7 or so hours of television and had sandwiches and a shower was a good Saturday. A good, solid lazy day.

Watch Sandman. It’s awesome.

British not Blown Away by the Americans.

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So I recently finished bingeing all five seasons of The Great Pottery Throwdown. It’s a spinoff of The Great British Baking Show. It’s pretty much the exact same show, just with pottery instead of baking. The Britishness is there. The camaraderie. The passion. The group is there. They work as a group of passionate artists rather than as competitors. When someone breaks down, the others swarm around them to help. “How can we help,” “We can fix this,” “Just get something up for judging,” “Don’t give up.” They’re just so damn friendly and helpful.

It’s not just the contestants either. When it’s time for judging, the judges find the positives to say about everything. Usually when they point out a failure it’s kind of a combination sentence. Like “We can see the obvious cracking in the structure, but you’ve really excelled at getting the lip on this pot just right.” “We can see your throwing skills are really improving.” So much fucking positivity. I love it.

Now I’m about to finish up season three of Blown Away. It’s an American competition show with glass blowing. And like most American competitions, it’s cut throat. The contestants are out to get each other. They’re fighting for the win. Everyone else there is someone blocking your way to the finale. Even the judging is harsh. They’re looking at these beautiful glass sculptures and just picking them apart and saying every bad thing they can think of about every one. Even abstract shit like “I just don’t like it.”

Well, I just don’t like it either. I love the — well, love — of the “Great British …” shows. They’re uplifting. And is it a coincidence that the British shows are being played for titles and “worthless” trophies. The American shows are up for money and prizes and glory.

Watching one right after the other is just a bummer, really. I want more nice people making pretty things! I guess I’m gonna have to start burning through the seasons of The Great British Baking Show that I haven’t watched yet.

Some Things 08/05

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OK, It’s been a bit, I should post. Really this week was just hard. I’ve just been getting through. I’m tired, I don’t wanna go to work. I’m just getting through. But today was super nice. It was my off Friday. I had an appointment (AKA complete waste of time) with the dermatologist about my hair. He asked if I had any side effects from the medications. I don’t. He said awesome, see you in six months. So glad I drove across town and paid $50 for that.

1) Speaking of long week, people be driving crazy after work. I was behind a car at a green light that didn’t realize it was green. Probably messing with their phone. Coincidence had us both traveling the same way for a while. We were side by side on a main road and they weren’t slowing down for a red light. Now, these red lights are super short so a lot of us don’t slow down until the last minute because it’s likely to change before you get to it. But like, this person was pushing it. And they just breezed right through it. I swear to god, I don’t even think they knew they ran a red light. There was no braking of repentance after they blew through it — they just kept off into the sunset. People be crazy.

2) Mr C and I watched Season One of Stranger Things. It’s so good! Why have I not watched it?

3) I’m watching The Sandman now. It came out today. I’m 4 episodes in and loving it. I fear this is going to be another “Witcher” where I got out and buy all the books because I can’t wait for more.

4) My arms hurt. I got injections in my arm scars because they’ve keloided. Well, they hurt now. It sucks. I’ve been used to them being healed and not hurting and now they hurt again. It blows. Will this stuff even work? Does it take multiple injections? They’re all dark and bruised too. Lame.

5) Speaking of surgeries, boobs are still doing great. When I wear tight shirts, the janitor at work (who used to be a pharmacist in New York) tells me how great I look. She told me this again on Thursday so I ordered some more tight shirts. The Lane Bryant “Fit and Flare” shirts just look fantastic on me. I just can’t replace my whole wardrobe. I have a lot of good clothes that are a size too big. It’s not that I don’t want to wear the tight shirts.

And it’s weird. I’ve gained a lot of weight. But I still look rocking compared to before the surgeries. I have to keep telling myself, yeah the scale sucks — but damn, I’m looking good.

6) K2 has been coming over pretty much every weekend to do pool with me. It’s fantastic. I don’t really do pool by myself because it’s lonely. Especially with mom gone. So K2 coming over most off days has been awesome. Sometimes she just falls asleep in an eggplant, but it’s still good company.

By the way, the egg plants are dying. They’ve been on the way out for a bit but I was hoping they’d make it the rest of the summer. Naw, they need air at least every day now. Multiple times today. So I ordered two new ones.

7) I took out a yellow jacket nest today. Fuck those bastards. They were making a nest in my pool gate! Thank GOD K2 didn’t get stung. I had to take them down with spider killer ’cause I was out of wasp spray. There were at least 12 yellow jackets on there. I probably sprayed myself with cancer trying to keep them away from me. Fucking wasps.

8) Oh yeah, and my Family was in Florida this week. They all got covid. Covid Condo. Bro got it from work (he’s a doctor) and then tested positive when he got down there and gave it to everyone else. Sucks, man.

Vacation Acts 2 & 3

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I’m writing this from the airport.  Where we have been all day.  We left the cottage at 8:30 for a 12:20 fight.  It’s now 2:15.  Our connection flight was canceled.  They wanted us to stay overnight and all day tomorrow in the airport and leave for home at 9:30 tomorrow night.  So we had to reroute and deal with customer service.  Now were flying out at 5:30 and arriving home at midnight – HOPEFULLY.  This trip has been a travel nightmare.  And American Airlines is, of course, blaming all the delays and cancellations on weather.  That way they don’t have to reimburse you or pay for food and hotels.  Such fucking bullshit.  It’s the lies that really piss me off.  

Our vacation was great though.  I usually don’t like this trip much because the cottage is far too small and unairconditioned and has a single bathroom for 6 grown adults.  However, with just the 4 of us siblings, it was great.  I mean, we all feel bad that it was great.  Of course, it’s sad we didn’t get to see Mr C’s parents.  However, it was really nice just being the siblings.  It was so much more chill.  And so much more roomy. 

We went to the beach almost every day.  I got in the ocean a lot.  I lost my mountain toppers on the second ocean adventure.  I managed to hang onto my glasses when an unexpected wave nailed me but the toppers slipped from my grasp.  They were my favorites too.  After that, I just didn’t wear toppers in the ocean.  I’m learning.  Slowly. 

We played a lot of games.  I even joined in the family tradition of pinochle which I’ve refused for a decade.  Mr C’s family is SERIOUS about pinochle.   They even buried his grandma with a perfect pinochle hand.  So we played 3 games.  Mr C and I lost the tie breaker last night.  This pinochle participation shall never be spoken of outside of the group. 

We also played a ton of Splendor.  I brought the fancy glass gems and metal doubloons set I got for Christmas.  The gem set costs more than the actual game.  But playing a game with really nice pieces makes such a huge difference.  It’s so much more fun to really hold the gems and gold and feel fancy.  We played Five Crowns too.  I won last night! 

So vacation was really good.  Now, if we can just get home, we’ll be solid.     

UPDATE:  It’s now Sunday morning.  After I wrote the above post, we got delayed and canceled again.  We rerouted and arrived home after a late connection in Miami.  I was getting into bed at 3:00am.  Oh, and they lost our luggage.  Fucking American Airlines.  We really enjoyed the trip but this was the trip travel from travel hell:

1 Saturday flight out, canceled.

2 Sunday we arrived at the airport, got a pat down at security and it was canceled after we sat there two hours. 

3 Monday we finally made it out on a delayed flight.  We made our connection because it was also delayed.  Arrived at the cottage at 3:00 AM

4 We arrive to fly home at 9:30am.  First Saturday flight gets pushed back further and further and further.  We spend hours at Gate 8.

5 Find out the connection we are about to fly to is canceled. 

6 Reroute through a different airport that has a connection to home.  Also going to leave from Gate 8. Decide that Gate 8 is really just the “fuck you” gate. Flight gets pushed back so many times that we are in jeopardy of missing the home connection. 

7 Rebook on a flight that leaves a little sooner to make the connection.

8 Leave Boston around 6:00pm.  Arrive to find the connection has been pushed back.   

9 Home connection gets pushed back, like five times.  We were supposed to arrive home at midnight with the new flights (was going to be 630pm with the original booking).  We got home at 2am. 

10 Our luggage apparently never even left Boston.  Still waiting to hear from them on that. 

But I saved the toppers!

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Yesterday, I dove into the icy waters off the coast of Maine. I’m not traveling to a beach and not getting in the water. Even if it is really fucking cold. Painfully so. I got half-way and decided to fully commit. And the best way to fully commit is to dive in. I swim with my glasses all the time at home so I know the toppers fall off in the water a lot. So I took my sunglasses topper off to hold onto. Then I waited for a big wave and dove right in!

My glasses went with the wave. Yep, right over my head.

I kinda just wrote them off as gone. I could easily order a new pair from “Pair” for under a hundred dollars. It would suck going the rest of the week without glasses, but not cripple me. I’m like -3 in my prescription. So everything would just be blurry. But we’re not sight seeing here.

Thankfully, my Brother-In-Law and Sister-In-Law were with me to help me frantically search the waves. Somehow BIL found them. It felt like five minutes of searching but maybe it was closer to two. We were panicking. I tried to communicate to husband back on the beach what had happened, but he didn’t realize. I guess I was still holding my twenty five dollar topper so he probably assumed I was holding my glasses.

Anyway, lesson learned. Don’t dive in the ocean with your glasses on. Its funny, I’ve worn my glasses in the gulf many times and never had them fall off. However, they fall off in the pool sometimes while I’m falling off a float or something. They’re just really easy to retrieve in a pool. Not so much in the Atlantic.

Thanks, BIL!