Guys be living on easy mode and don’t even know it. I know that’s not a grand revelation. Duh. We all know this. But it comes down to the smallest things.
My house has been a construction zone for a month. Workers in and out most days. My cat lives at my friends house. That mess is still on going but the end is in sight. So why am I saying this? I gotta put on a bra.
Every fucking day. I’m working from home but if I wanna go get a drink from the garage, I gotta put on a bra because there’s strangers in my house. Does my husband have to do this? No. He can roll out of bed and go to the grocery store. Can any woman do that? NO.
You might be telling yourself that I don’t have to wear a bra. Technically true — but I’m 41 and fat and my nipples always poke through everything. And I don’t like showy nipples. So just to leave my bedroom, I gotta put on a bra. Men don’t have to do any of that shit.
Biden is 81 and Trump is 78. Do you think either one of them could navigate a self checkout? I propose a test:
Send them to Walmart with a list of 5 regular grocery items.
Have them estimate the total cost of their transaction.
They have to get to Walmart ALONE. I understand that the secret service may have to tag along, but they are to offer no assistance. They have to locate and drive to Walmart alone.
They shop alone for their items.
They go through the self checkout. And yeah, they wait their ass in line. Maybe put makeup on to disguise them.
Then they must navigate and drive back to the starting place.
Compare expected cost vs actual cost for fun.
Think either one could do it in a reasonable amount of time without visibility struggling at any part? And they’re supposed to represent ALL OF US.
I wonder if they could even pump gas and pay at the pump.
Do you think they know about tap-to-pay?
Most Americans can’t even dream of when they’ll finally be able to retire. What’s retirement age now? 67. If you wanna retire, you gotta work and grind for 47 years. And that’s assuming you save up to be able to retire at all, and don’t start working before age 20. I started working at 15.
These out-of-touch motherfuckers could have retired 13 years ago. Most people don’t even live long enough to reach their age.
THEY HAVE OUTLIVED THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE LIFESPAN (76 years).
And that’s the current male life span. Trump (the younger of the two) was born in 1946. The average American male life span when he was born was 64. He’s 78.
He turned 16 in 1957.
Gasoline (not 10% ethanol bullshit, either) was 28 CENTS a gallon.
TVs were black and white.
Leave it to Beaver hadn’t even PREMIERED YET.
He turned 21 in 1967. THE PRIME OF HIS LIFE.
Gas was 33 cents a gallon.
Minimum wage was $1.40 per hour
PBS was starting.
The handheld calculator was INVENTED.
Biden is even older.
We’re so fucked.
Why isn’t there a maximum age for this shit? They shouldn’t even be allowed to drive at that age (unless they pass a driving test every year).
So, you may have forgot, but back in February, we had The Washing Machine Incident. The upstairs washing machine leaked while we were in the shower. It leaked through the ceiling, walls, and light fixtures below. That weekend, we had to have mold remediation cut holes in the drywall and run insanely loud industrial fans for 4 days to dry it all out. It traumatized the cat.
It also ruined the floor right below it. We can’t patch that floor because they no longer make our floor — because of course they don’t. So all the floor that touches that area has to be replaced. Hello open floor plan! That’s our entire downstairs. Entrance, living room, dining room, kitchen and hall all need to be replaced.
Sounds cool. Free floor. But it’s not.
One, dark floors aren’t in style anymore. And we can’t pick just any floor. We still have a staircase and the flooring upstairs that it has to match. So with dark flooring out of style, we were severely low on choices. I PRAY this floor looks okay. We are going from engineered hardwoods to vinyl plank which should be awesome. Vinyl has come a long way in the eight years since we built. It should be better by not showing foot prints (I hate that about our current floor) and not scuff/scratch/dent so easily. The engineered hardwood also hasn’t held up great in high traffic areas. It’s easy to chip off those corners in some areas. So it’s an upgrade even though it’s cheaper. Weird. I hope it doesn’t look too shiny.
We had, like, two options. No really. Two options. We originally had three when we came home from the store. They didn’t follow Builder’s instructions though and showed us floor that couldn’t be glued down. So the flooring lady had to find whatever she should that she thought might match and bring it buy. Two. Just-a-two. One we liked the color better and one we liked the finish better. We went with the color. I HOPE IT’S NOT SHINY. Also, when I say we liked the color, I mean to match our cabinets. It’s weird. The cabinets and floor both pulled very dark red when installed. Now they pull orange where the sun has faded them. It’s better than yellow, but we had to account for that. Sorry, beautiful mahogany swatch.
We wanted our builder who did the house to do everything, so we had to wait until he had time. He’s in high demand and doesn’t have time for shit. We were willing to wait though. So now here we are. A few month’s later, we’re ready to go.
The Moving
The moving happened Wednesday. Being that the whole downstairs floor is being replaced, we had to move out the entire downstairs. Including kitchen appliances. Yep. Even the fucking pantry.
We’ve living upstairs. With a refrigerator and a toaster oven in the garage. Also, I bought a bunch of storage totes for the pantry stuff because we’ve had mice in there before.
That’s fun. They broke my refrigerator too. They didn’t put it back together properly and shoved the drawers in. Broke a piece of plastic that the drawer slides on. It’s not terrible and invisible once everything is in place. However, I have very little hope when it comes to them moving it back in. I’m worried. I’m going to ask builder to make sure he or I are here to watch them move it.
It’s really weird. The downstairs echoes so much that even locking the door is heard throughout the house. And if we want a drink or snack or anything, we have to go to the garage to get it and bring it back upstairs.
Thankfully, we both work upstairs. Husband uses his office for work and play. I have no desire to do that. I need to have separate work and relaxation locations. My relax location is the livingroom. That’s where I live. And they took that away. So…
My Nook
Remember when I moved my old apartment couch into the bedroom to make a “nook” to escape when my in laws were visiting? Well, this is where I hung out during the weekend of the remediation. And it’s where I’m hanging out now. Only this time, it will be for a month. And there’s no kitchen. Anyway.
We moved all the downstairs plants up here so they can still get care. I’m a very “out of sight, out of mind person.” That’s how I killed the gorgeous gigantic peace lily. I put in the guest bedroom, and forgot to water it regularly. (NOTE: When gifting plants to people with pets, look up toxicity, for the love of god). My office has plants but it doesn’t get as much light as our bedroom, so we brought up the card table and put everything in here.
Of course, I brought up my laptop and table. That is what I do. But what about the TV? I usually have my firestick playing videos while I play on my laptop. For a weekend it was fine, but a month? So I also brought in the small guest bedroom TV. Why don’t I just use the guest bedroom? Well, there’s just a bed in there. Not a couch.
I have a pretty damn sweet nook going on. I love all the plants being around me. I have a great view during the day time. If I had a minifridge for drinks and snack I’d be rocking and rolling! The only shelf stable snacks are trash. It’d be nice to have a minifridge for drinks and yogurt and salami and cheese snacks. But not worth the expense for just one month. No use for it after this.
I have a fan too! The bedroom’s ceiling fan is broken. We’ve bought a new one to replace it, but we have not yet done that. So zoom in here to my using a full sized ceiling fan in the box as a table for my small table fan pointed right at my face. I solve problems. Extremely comfy couch too.
It’s gonna be a downgrade for the nook when everything goes back to normal. I don’t do bedrooms with TVs. But I am going to keep some plants in here. I like the plants.
What About Louie?
I already told you that the weekend of fans traumatized the cat. We didn’t think it would be bad because we were both here. We were just upstairs. He mostly hang out on this couch with me. But now he’s so jumpy all the time. He jumps when the AC kicks on now! So this whole thing was not going to be good for Louie. Also, he tries to escape out of any door the second he thinks you might be about to open it. He’s watching. Fucking all the builders and people who have come over have let him out. So he had to go.
What? No, I didn’t get RID of my cat. He’s staying at K’s house. He stayed there over Christmas and did great. So she has graciously agreed to let him stay there during this hot mess. I dropped him off Tuesday before the movers came on Wednesday. Friday, I even went over for a sleepover! Cause my house is weird as fuck now and I miss my cat. Did he snuggle me all night because he missed me? No. He’s Louie, not Jack. But look, he did go to sleep touching both of my feet. That’s significant Louie love right there.
I can’t remember the last time I did a sleepover that wasn’t family. Like, did I even do sleepovers in high school? But K’s guest room has been converted to Louie’s room because she has three dogs. So two baby gates in the doorway allow Louie to jump through but not any dogs. And it has her old purple mattress and I’ve never slept on a purple mattress before. She even has a nightlight and fan cause she knows me. AWESOME.
Though, to be honest, the sleepover made me feel worse. Louie let me have lots of his little five-minute snuggles. Where he wants all the snuggles and fake purrs real loud to ham it up. He can be so so so sweet in short bursts. Yet he was still very alert. I was afraid he couldn’t relax and was too high strung. Even though he doesn’t like the big dogs, he’s still all up and about walking around the house and laying on the floor. Weird cat. Strangely, he fears the big gentle dogs but not the small very active dog. Louie, you need to reprioritize.
In the morning, I grabbed some yogurt to eat in the living room. Louie just wanted to stay in his room and wail at me to return. This made me feel terrible. And having to leaving him again was heart wrenching. I wish I could explain to him that I love him and it’s just temporary and he’s gonna come back home!
I miss him too. I MISS MY FUZZY! I know. As husband and K both say, he’s fine. He’s happy with all the entertainment. I just miss him. I worry. K sent me pictures of him purring in her face today though and that made me feel LOADS better. So he is getting some of those good short pet sessions in. I’ll probably, actually feel really bad when I bring him back to our extremely boring home. I did after Christmas.
Two of her dogs just switched weeks to stay with her mom (joint pet custody). So it will be more calm. I hope he makes friends with their big gentle dog. They could be buddies! They made excellent progress over Christmas. I have hopes.
And Now
And now we wait. Drywall guy should be back tomorrow. I think floor work will begin Wednesday. I worry drywall will hold them up though because one of the seams was done poorly and will need redoing.
Also, the construction dust is EVERYWHERE. We have all of the rooms upstairs shut but the hall and railings are covered in dust. We also have to do that while they’re working because they leave the doors open so we turn the AC downstairs off and raise it really high upstairs and just try to keep it in our offices.
Three more weeks? Maybe? Hopefully not more? RIGHT?
I know that, in a year, I’m going to be happy we got new floors. They will hopefully wear and look better. They should have longer life than our older floor. They shouldn’t show my every foot print. They should be more durable. We won’t have the chips and scratches we have now. It should be good. Just gotta get through this mess.
Look at this hat, yall. I’m looking for a new pool baseball cap. So I searched for “Baseball hat ponytail.” Amazons fucked up algorithm showed me a “men’s baseball cap” first (Sponsored ad, of course) and this abomination:
My scalps gonna burn right through that damn thing. AND no ponytail elastic — FAIL.
OK WAIT — before we move on — what the actual fuck is this? This one doesn’t protect your scalp or block the sun from your eyes. Why does this abomination exist?
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Anyway, new topic. Also, I do understand the irony in this next situation.
Yeah. Four times now, I’ve woken up a sweaty mess because Louie is blocking the air vent. Is Louie doing this to be near me? Fuck no he’s not. Louie isn’t a mushy lover. He has NEVER slept on my side of the bed (on occasion when we sleep late and he’s waiting for me to get up and feed him, he’ll be on the bed — on Anthony’s foot corner). And he’s not sleeping with me — hes RIGHT on the air output.
So nearest I can figure, It’s the vibrations or noise? The only place I feel anything from the BedJet is right there at the outlet — you feel the air blowing inside the sheet and therefor against your feet so it’s kind of a waveform/vibration feeling.
If he was on either SIDE of the airjet, it wouldn’t be a problem. However, hes completely blocking any air from dispersing into the sheet. This is a problem yall.
Yeah I get it hahaha, that’s so funny.
NO IT’S NOT. I’m SWEATING. I’m hot. Today, after I took this picture, I had to get out of my PJs and put on new underwear because I was so sweaty. I had a good thing and now I don’t. How do I fix this?
I just moved the nozzle to the side of the bed in hopes that maybe that will help? I don’t think it will, but we’re gonna find out. Is there a fabric that he would find very uncomfortable? Keep in mind that covering the counters in parchment paper had zero affect on him. Like would he do it on a tarp? Is there an very offensive pointy side of the velcro fabric?
And yes, I get the irony. For over a year, I’d wish and wish that he’d want to sleep in bed with me. Now it’s NOT COOL. I didn’t even intend that pun there.
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Lastly, an update: Our floor is getting fixed! They’re coming to pack up our entire first floor including kitchen appliances and move it all into the garage. They’ll be here Wednesday at 8:30am. So this is great!
And terrifying. Cause this week they’ll move stuff and fix all the dry wall. Then they wont start on the floor until like next week. I think next Wednesday? Or was it the NEW floor is going in Wednesday? I don’t know. But multiple week thing. Gotta move all our shit. Living upstairs and out of the garage. For lunch and breakfast, I gotta go in the garage where my fridge is and pass workers. I’m not looking forward to this.
Also, the mold remediation with the loud fans did something to Louie. It fucked him up. He’s all jumpy and scared of noises now. So we gotta get rid of him before any of this goes down. We can’t traumatize the cat again. So K is gonna take him in Tuesday night. But it’s gonna be MORE THAN A WEEK. And I already feel so bad leaving him! And also, like how often do I visit? Like I’m lazy and I don’t wanna go visit all the time — but he IS my cat and she doesn’t live far away. So like how often is often enough to not feel guilty? You know the answer is no amount. I will feel guilty no matter what.
So I did up a huge list of shit that’s gotta be done because I am stressed. Today, I wanted to lay on the couch and be a depressed crying blob of anxiety paralysis. However, my sweet husband kept looking at my list and going “hey we can do this” — and doing a lot of it himself. Like we tidied up the garage and got a table ready with the toaster oven. We clipped Louie’s nails. We put the card table in the master bedroom and moved all the plants upstairs. Then we took a nap and I planted some plants.
Yall, this week at work is also gonna be a SHIT SHOW. A fucking huge shit show dumpster fire. It’s not good.
Also, no I’m not sponsored — I fucking WISH! Bedjet, if you want me to review the travel unit — EMAIL ME. I’m just a hot person who couldn’t sleep and paid a lot of money to try this out.
I don’t like heat.
I’ve always been heat intolerant. I don’t like to be hot. I was told that when I lost weight, I’d be cold all the time. Bull-fucking-shit. I got down to 175lbs and was still hot all the time. So it’s not just fat. I’m just HOT. Then I lost my thyroid which helps regulate body temperature. And it seems that as I’ve aged, I’ve just become more and more heat intolerant. To a medical problem degree. I sweat like a water fountain just standing around. Its embarrassing. AND NOW, I’ve hit the untalked about reverse puberty known as perimenopause. Fuck my life.
A few years ago, I started sleeping with just my fuzzy blanket. It’s a velour blanket. It’s meant to be used between blankets as a thermal layer (trapped air) — but if you use it by itself, it’s just light and fuzzy. It’s made out of foam so it doesn’t hug your body. If you have the fan on, air actually blows through it. So I’ve been making the bed with that under the comforter and sheet and I just throw the comforter aside every night. If I get cold (I do keep a high powered fan pointed at me), I pull the sheet over. This has been my setup for years. I even travel with this blanket.
A few months ago though, I started to get hotter. All of the sudden, I started getting night sweats. We’re not talking a little bit of sweat either. I’d wake up so wet that I’d be immediately freezing (remember, high powered fan pointing at me). I had to take off my PJs some nights because they were just drenched. Like I just got out of the pool kinda drenched. Even in new PJs, I couldn’t go back to bed because my spot in the bed was drenched too! I tried shifting where I slept so I’d have a secondary spot to use. I tried sleeping on a blanket. I figured I could get up and toss the blanket and have dry sheets! But I toss and turn so much that the blanket kept getting wadded up and I just had a wrinkly wet blanket and wet sheets.
I thought this was a temporary situation. I assumed I was just super hyper thyroid and the doctor would fix it. My thyroid hormone level is never correct and our yearly physicals were coming right up. So I had hope.
I’m fucked
Then I got the diagnosis. Perimenopause. No quick fix. This is my life now. Well, it also explains the nightly panic attacks and all of the crazy anxiety attacks. All the stress and crazy. The sweating just standing around. But yeah — the night sweats.
He doesn’t want me to jump straight into hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for medical reasons. Don’t come at me about it. I’m gonna give other shit a chance for a minute. So I started the over-the-counter supplements he recommended. I started researching. I started the internet spiral of researching into echo chambers of crazy. I also talked to the cleaning lady at work.
Yeah, so she came into my office and asked about my tattoo. She has 2 full sleeves and so we were talking about it and she has kids and they think she looks like “the mean mom” because of her tattoos. And I was like “they’re flowers, how is that mean vibes?” So yeah it got into getting older with tattoos and then I was like don’t tell me about older, I’M JUST GOT DIAGNOSED AS PERIMENOPAUSE. And she was like holy shit, you gotta get this Sleep Number mattress pad! It’s fantastic! It was a thousand dollars, but you gotta get it. So I looked it up.
The Sleep Number DuelTemp layer for half the bed is $1,200.00. OOF. Like I’m dying, but I’m also not allowed to spend a ton of money. Yall know my husbands rules! And I just paid $1,200.00 to buy a new salt cell and have it installed when they opened the pool. So *cries*
The Bedjet has entered the stadium.
What about that BedJet thing? Like I’d heard of that before. What’s that about.
I don’t know when or where I’d heard of the BedJet before. They were on Shark Tank and I spend most of my life on the internet, so who knows. I give it a google. Ok, Ok, half the price of the sleep number. But from what I remember, it’s just like a hose attached to a fan that blows under your covers. That doesn’t sound nice. The only part of me that ever gets cold (aside from my face and ears) are my feet. So I really don’t need a fan blowing on my feet. That doesn’t sound nice. Also, I could rig that up way cheaper. But wait — Cloud Sheet? I like clouds. Tell me more.
Perhaps the BedJet used to only have the fan option. In fact the BedJet is just the fan option. But there’s an optional cloud sheet accessory.
Um, did you just fix my only qualm? Ok. I want this. But for $500, I must research. I had questions.
It’s cooling — but there is no cooling mechanism. I get that room temperature air is 20 degrees below your body temperature, but how can you claim it’s cooling if it doesn’t cool air? And why can you set the temperature on the remote if it can’t make it any cooler than the room temperature air? That sounds sus as fuck. Have people used this thing and like it? Does it make you cool? Has anyone with night sweats tried it? It advertises the sweat evaporation as one of it’s biggest benefits. But, most importantly, is there a cheaper knock off that doesn’t have heating? I don’t need a heater.
So enter the crazy echo chambers and why I’m writing a full review. I’m not writing this for the five people who read my blog. I’m actually writing this in hopes that people find it useful. I hope that when people google for BedJet Reviews, BedJet questions, cloud sheet review, cloud sheet questions, anything BedJet — I can give them some answers. Without the crazy. I’m sorry, I just did type a few pages of crazy, but it wasn’t directed at your life choices to not take HRT. Lets review:
REVIEW: BedJet 3 Climate Comfort Sleep System and Cloud Sheet
I ordered the BedJet 3 with remote as that is the current model at the time of writing this. There were options:
The Bedjet 3 with remote for $429 with the 30% off for Mother’s Day Sale — which is now a 30% off for Memorial Day sale. Probably just wait for any random holiday and get this price. (I got this option)
You can get a model without a remote and save about $40.00. This is doable because it is bluetooth capable and there’s a phone app. I did not get this because, from what little I could find of unbiased reviews, the phone app is absolute shit.
You can also buy a certified refurbished BedJet (does not come with remote) from the company and save about $80.00. It does still include the 2 year warranty.BUT it won’t come with the 60 Day money-back guarantee.
You can upgrade to a duel comfort system where each partner has a BedJet to set to their own liking. This is approximately twice the price of a single. Which makes sense. I did not go this direction. I know that husband would have used the hell out of the preheat button, if nothing else. However, husband is “thrifty” — he would not have approved of me buying that if it was just a $50 upgrade. I’ve bought stuff for him before that he made me take back because he didn’t need it. He DOES NOT waste money. So.
I wanted the single system, with remote. For $500, I wanted that 60 Day money back guarantee with free return shipping. Plus refurb means old parts — I’ll go new. Again, I will note that there’s a 2-year limited warranty on all systems which is pretty damn sweet.
When it arrived, I was EXCITED. I’m gonna sleep good tonight! Lets set this up! The setup manual is 5 stars. Top notch. I should add a photo (UPDATE! Photo below. See, I’m helpful). It’s a full magazine size manual. Tons of pictures, big print, glossy pages. Nice.
BedJet Setup
There are two ways to set it up. It has a very small form factor so you can set it under your bed. The whole box can fit if you have 6 inches of clearance. If you have 6 inches under your bed but lower side rails, it can still go under the bed if there’s 3.5 inches of clearance under your side rail. If your bed is freakishly low or on the floor, you can set it on its side to take up less floor space and have it beside the bed. I went under the bed.
I noted in the instructions that it does not recommend using it with an extension cord. I thought that was a bummer because even with outlets on either side of my bed, this cord barely reached my outlet. Why not make a longer cord? But, during assembly, I noticed the air tube has a lot of length. So I could have had it way further back and just stretched out the accordion-style air hose to get the length to the end of the bed. They even sell an extension tube in their parts section, so yeah. WITH the hose extension, you can get 8 feet of air hose. But you might wanna note that if you don’t have a close outlet. There might be a big air tube running across your room or something if the outlet is not on the same wall as your bed.
There are buttons on the unit. I was a bit scared — especially since one had to do with low power mode and has a big warning section in the manual about it. The manual said to follow the instructions on the remote to set it up. It comforted me that, by answering the remote’s questions, it would select the proper power settings for me. Sweet. So I put the batteries in and the remote came on in setup mode. It has a nice sized LED display, so answering the easy prompts was a simple task. Then it was setup and ready to go. I didn’t have to touch anything on the unit.
Note that there is a USB “Expansion port” on the unit. The book says it’s only for factory testing and not a functioning USB port.
So the air hose has a funnel-type attachment that points the air at you. That fits on top of the tube. Then there is a plastic bar that slides under your mattress. On this bar, there are risers. The system comes with 4 risers. These hold a clamp for the air hose to hold it in position against your bed and at the right height. You can add or remove risers as needed until the funnel is at the right height. Don’t worry, if you have a tall mattress, they will send you extra risers for free. How do I know?
Even with idiot proof instructions, I still messed up the setup. I did not include the funnel because I was using the cloud sheet. It worked fine that first night, but I thought it was a stupid design. Also, without the funnel, I had to pull my cloud sheet down further. So I requested some more risers. I also asked why you wouldn’t want to use the funnel with the cloud sheet as that seemed stupid. A heavy set of blankets could easily block the air without the funnel.
Well, I’m just a dumbass. Customer support responded to my email quickly and dispatched a set of 4 more risers at no cost. They also pointed out that I was still supposed to use the funnel with my cloud sheet. I also had a question about that low power setting. The remote asked me if I was using this on a twin bed (which would affect the power setting). I’m not, but I am using a twin sheet. So… do I still answer no? Apparently, you answer by bed size not sheet size. Awesome. Thank you, customer service. Oh, and they said the bed skirt would not affect performance as long as it does not affect airflow.
Is this a good time to mention it’s an American company in Rhode Island? It’s even family owned. Like damn, an AMERICAN product? It’s become an international company now, so I really doubt it’s made in America — but still. I’m impressed. And I was super impressed with their customer service.
So on the second night of use, I had it set up correctly (tough still too low) with the funnel snapped securely into my cloud sheet. It did work better like that.
Review: BedJet Cloud Sheet
The BedJet does not come with a cloud sheet. That is an optional additional purchase. You can use the BedJet as is and just have it blowing under your covers. Either directly on you under your sheet, or maybe between your sheet and comforter. You do you. But I didn’t want to sleep in a wind tunnel, so I opted for the cloud sheet.
The cloud sheet is a duel layer sheet. It’s like a duvet cover, basically. It snaps over the air output and it fills up with air — like a cloud. Get it? CLOUD sheet?
It is 100% cotton and heavy as fuck. I bought the TwinXL sheet. We have a King bed. So there were two options to cover my side only. I could buy the large duelzone sheet and only use one side, or I could go TwinXL. I was concerned that if we shared a sheet, Husband would get too much of my cold air, so I went Twin. I did my due diligence and washed it before using. One nice feature is that you can connect the air hose to the foot of the bed through the sheet — or through the side of the bed through the sheet. It has two options. That’s cool (no pun intended).
So the sheet has one side that is suppose to be touching your body. I wouldn’t be able to tell which was which — but there is a nice contrasting colored patch sewn on one side that says “This Side Down.” Thank you. Well executed and obvious if you have it on upside down.
The duel zone sheet would cover the entire bed but has a seam down the middle. This allows each side to be controlled by a different bed jet. Or one side to just be a heavy ass sheet with no air flow. Here’s our problem though — air seepage. My husband does not want my cool air. He is a little stream of lava and he wants to stay that way. So while only my side of the bed has the sheet, we’re under the same comforter so his side is still getting some air blown over there. Perhaps if he had a BedJet going as well, the air would block it — but since he has no air pocket, my forced air is invading. This sucks. I can’t think of a way to prevent this without a physical barrier. For right now, we have my body pillow between us on top of the comforter. It works. It takes up too much space, but it works. I’m going to get crafty with my friend and sew a long tube to fill with rice or beans or something to make a little skinny weighted tube to put down the middle of the bed. I suppose we could also just have our own blankets and not share the comforter as another solution.
UPDATE 09/04/2024 – I finally made a long sock (out of an old sheet) filled with rice to lay down the center of the bed. This serves to keep the air on my side and not affect his side. It takes up way less space. AND I get my body pillow back. Here’s a picture of the updated situation. My side is turned on so you can see it’s very puffy without any air on his side. Only downside – It smells like rice. A lot. Might switch to a different filling.
Cloud Sheet Cons (Still 100% recommend it though):
My biggest complaint is that the cloud sheet will always feel wrinkly. It’s a sack. There is no avoiding it. I love crisp new sheets that are perfectly smooth on the bed. This sheet is always going to feel wrinkled. Even with the air going, this isn’t a pool float — it’s going to move around with you. I can’t fathom a way for that not to be the case, though.
I wish it came in something other than stark-fucking-white. That could just be me.
The top foot or so of the sheet doesn’t puff air. WTF? You’re already losing length to pull it all the way down to the hose — I want all the air. I guess they assume people don’t want it at the top of the sheet where their shoulder are? Well, I do. If I didn’t want it that high, I could just fold it over.
Cloud Sheet Pros:
So the cloud sheet goes under your covers. You don’t want all that nice air just blasting out of the top of the sheet into the room! You want it directed at your overheating ass. So it works best with covers over it. So as you can see, I have it (per instructions) under the top sheet, comforter, and even an extra blanket over our feet.
Yall, It’s been years since I could snuggle up under the covers in anything but the middle of winter. IT’S SO NICE! It’s so snuggly. It’s so comfortable. And I can use the comforter to block the fan if its too much, or the bright sun in the morning. AND I’M NOT HOT. WHAT? I love this! I’m under the covers, yall!
What I think after using it for two weeks.
I love it. The only problem I’ve had was last night we had severe thunderstorms and the power blinked. So I woke up to my BedJet not being on. I had to use the power button on the unit to restart it because the remote said it couldn’t connect. Other than that, FUCKIN’ A!
I haven’t had the night sweats since I’ve been using it! I’ve had maybe a bit of sweat between my legs on a few nights, but then I just split my legs and I’m cool.
Somewhere I think I read that most people have it set on 74 degrees (F) and I forget what fan speed. Fuck that. I have it at 68.
That brings me to an important topic!
The BedJet does not actually cool air. At all. It has no cooling capabilities. This is not an air-conditioner. It will only blow room temperature air at the coolest. So if your room is above 79, probably not gonna help. BUT, I like that there is a warning on the remote which acknowledges this. If you set it below the room temp, you get this message:
“Based on your current room temp, Lowest regulated setting for cool mode is [x]” — with X being the temperature of air the unit is reading. So think of the cool setting as a “floor.” Don’t go colder than this — that’s basically what you’re saying.
Speaking of remote, I’m so glad I got it! It’s very nice! I have a king bed so plenty of room to have it. It has a small LCD display that shows you the current settings, the room temperature, and the count down to auto shut off. It also shows the unit name (because you can control multiple units with one remote) and the battery power left in the remote.
The only thing I dislike about the remote is that it can’t show you the time. It knows the time and shows you the time when it is not running. However, when it is running, you don’t get to see the time. Still, great remote.
The remote is extremely intuitive. You’ve got your menu button with the direction pad and center select button. Super easy to navigate. This is well written software (IMO). Then “Off,” “Cool,” “Heat,” and “Turbo” settings. Turbo is for preheating your bed before you get in, apparently. See, that would be husband’s favorite button. Then you’ve got the set of up/down toggle-type buttons. One for fan speed, one for temp, one for the auto shut off timer. Super intuitive. Then there’s a “Dry” button. The manual says this is “for rapid sweat drying without being too hot or too cold.” As far as I can tell, it’s gonna blast you at 87 degrees, but don’t quote me on that. I assume “10H” makes the timer jump to 10 hours. Then you have the memory buttons. These are so you can have preset settings you like. Forgot how the fuck to program those? I did too! I so I pressed one and the remote told me how to do it. Good software.
If you care, to program a memory button on the BedJet remote, just get the settings to what you like and hold down the memory button you want to save that too. Then the remote will ask you if you want to save it. So easy.
I also really like that the remote senses motion. So it lights up when you grab it. No need to press a button. You can set how sensitive it is. Mine’s probably too sensitive right now because it lights up when I roll over. I guess I’m a violent roller. Whatever. I can turn that down if I want.
There is a “Biorhythm Sleep Sequence Function.” At first I just ignored this. I mean it’s kinda misnamed because it doesn’t have any feedback from your body. However, I just reread what it does. Basically, you can set the times (based on duration or clock time) that you want your setting to change — with up to 33 changes that will automatically run over the course of the night. Now that I’ve been using it for two weeks, I might try this out.
UPDATE 09/04/2024: I now use the biorythem as a delay. Some nights, I don’t want to get in a cold bed. Like if I have cold feet already. I want to feel snuggly for a little bit. But I can’t not use my bedjet or I wake up in a pool of sweat! Solution? I made a Biorythem and set it to the M3 key. It has the unit do nothing for 25 minutes and then turn on to 74 degrees at 80% power for 10 hours. FANTASTIC.
So I start the night at 68 degrees (no, my house isn’t that cool — I fucking WISH) and 90% fan. Why 90? Well, I want ALL THE FAN but I don’t wanna push my unit. This I like. I also like that I can make a little funnel under the covers by my face and have a wind tunnel blowing across my face. That’s nice. It does blow a lot of air — but it’s true that you don’t feel the air movement with the cloud sheet. The only thing you feel is the vibration of the air being blown in by you feet.
At some point in the night, I get up to pee because I am a female and I drink a fuckton of water. I like to be hydrated. Did I mention I get hot? HYDRATE. So when I get up to pee, I usually find the bed to be too cool. So I slip on some socks I now keep on my night stand and turn it down to 75% fan. On long weekend sleeps, I might turn it off in the morning. I’ve done that twice.
So yeah, this thing WORKS. We’ve been setting the air at 72 degree and I’m sleeping UNDER THE COVERS WITH SOCKS. WHAT? We are gonna save so much on the AC bill this summer! Man, if you combined this with that $1200.00 Sleep Number pad, I bet you’d be in HEAVEN. Totally worth the money. It has a two year warranty. If it just up and dies after that two years, I would totally buy another. (As long as it’s not breaking down and I keep getting this great customer service).
I guess the only other thing to mention is that it has a filter. It’s just a crazy thin piece of foam in the back. Pull off the back cover and there it is. You can totally buy new filters. But yall, they aren’t even trying to rip you off like that. The book just says to clean it off as needed.
I love you, BedJet. Can I travel with this? Do I need another one just for travel? DO YOU MAKE A TRAVEL SIZE? Because there’s no way my perimenopausal ass can sleep without this now. Insurance should cover this. 5 Stars!
But it could still be better. Give me a longer sheet or make the air run all the way to the top. And give me sheet color options.
OH! One more thought. People ask how loud it is. Low hum. I sleep with a Turbo fan on high so this is NOTHING to me. I can’t hear shit over my fan. I’d say this sounds like a fan on a very low setting. I would not say it is loud by any means, but you will hear it.
UPDATE 09/04/2024: If your head is under the sheet, you won’t notice that it is louder, but you will not be able to hear things around you very well.
Also, it blows so much air out that if you fart and have that awesome slip stream by your face — that fart gets blasted out immediately. It’s like the opposite of a dutchoven.
UPDATE: Three Months Later
I’ve been using this nightly for over three months now. I love it. I’ve thrown in a few updates in here that you might have seen — like using biorythem to set a timer for it to come on after you fall asleep.
I had a big problem when my cat decided he wanted to sleep on the jet. I solved this by using two full sets of stackers — 8 stackers so the funnel sits a few inches over my mattress. That way if my cat gets close, I can easily slip my feet under the funnel and he is forced to sleep to the side.
I still wish the sheet was longer or the air went fully to the top. I found myself sleeping unusually high in my bed due to acid reflex and wanting the use the wall to support slopped pillows. Only my legs were covered by air. This was not sufficient for me not to sweat.
The “DRY” function is awesome! It really works! If you accidentally get sweaty, kick it on and it’s really not too hot or too cold. And it drys you off pretty quickly with the fan at 100%. Surprisingly, one night I fell back asleep with it in Dry mode and was comfortable all night.
I’ve fallen into the rhythm of 90% fan on 73 degrees when I go to bed. After I come back to bed after I pee, I change it to 74 degrees at 80% fan. We’ve been able to keep the AC set on 71 or 72 for three months now! I was a 68-degrees-or-I-will-kill-you person before!
I finally made a long rice sock to divide the bed between heavenly air on my side and nothing to stop the lava on my husbands side. This works well enough. Nothings perfect and I don’t see how to avoid this problem without a physical barrier over the covers or using completely different bedding on each side.
100% recommend. I’m seriously considering the travel size for, well, travel. Maybe I’ll put that on my birthday list!
Also, can I get a light grey sheet? Beige? Greige? Something not stark white? Please?
“Well, my days of not takin’ ya seriously are certainly comin’ to a middle.” — Bonus for anyone who gets the ref. Seriously, Fuck Amazon. I’m tired of their Chinese knock off over priced scammy bullshit.
Review: BigMouth Floats are the BEST – Hands Down
BigMouth floats are my favorite. I love them. They send me spam emails. I clicked a spam email about a Memorial Day sale. I mean, I did lose an eggplant last year and the replacement sucked and didn’t hold air well. So I needed at LEAST one new eggplant cause those are my besties favorites.
And the watermelon ring (MY personal favorite), is a few summers old.
This is our 9th summer and I’m only on my second Watermelon — the first being replaced the summer I tried the float holder outside and it faded to yellow. And the flamingo ring’s head doesn’t hold air and the other ring is the Butterfly wings which is so Instagram worthy (LOVE the picture of mom with it!) but not practical. So, like, I need a new mesh float and ring or two.
Holy shit, BigMouth has mesh floats! They have a Pineapple, a Strawberry, and an Ice cream cone! (Edit: Looks like they used to have a Wiener Dog and a Popsicle too.)
Six feet of lounging! SCORE! I’m so tired of buying the eggplants because they’re not a brand, so you get what you get – different nozzles, different quality vinyl. Hell, even the mesh sewn on different sides. So fuck the eggplants, we’re switching. Ice cream is off theme, so I’ll take the two fruit please.
Now, I needed to grab my watermelon. Four feet of swim ring greatness. The float that led to my love of BigMouth. One, it’s huge — not just for adults, but fat adults too. Two, EXCELLENT quality shit. Their floats are a “reinforced PVC” — whatever that means. So they kinda have a matte finish and they’re a nice thick material. So let me just get my watermelon. They have a fuckton of cute swim rings, BTW — most in normal sizes and kids sizes. This year they have a brand collab with squishmallows. Adorable shit. After a few years, I’m over the adorable picture-worthy ones that have heads or trees or mushrooms sticking off them. And the jellyfish was instagram worthy but so so so non-functional. So, just a four-foot ring please…
Ooooo. This year there are tons of big rings! There’s a black and white checkerboard, the watermelon, a rainbow, a red and white lifesaver that says “for vibin’ use only,” a pink lemon(ade), a lime/lemon, and a BOMB! Fuck me, the fuse on the bomb is a cup holder. Oh my god. I know that floating cup holders are in NO WAY functional, but fuck that is adorable. I’ll take a rainbow and a bomb! (Yeah, it says “cannonball,” but cannonballs don’t have a fuse ON the cannonball. I get you though, can’t call it a bomb.)
So I put everything in my cart on the bigmouth site. Now, they have shipping fees. So lets see if Amazon can do better. I make sure I’m purchasing the floats that say “Official BigMouth Store.” The “Shipping From” section says “Amazon.” So we should be good. Free shipping means Amazon is like $5 cheaper. OK, lets do amazon.
FAIL.
So three arrive as expected (in two different shipments):
And then I had to wait on the third without an exact delivery date. Not a good sign. And here we have…
Amazon will happily send you to a third party seller to scam you without telling you about it.
One of these things is not like the others. The H2OGo Fun Lounger! Seriously, Amazon? What the actual fuck? So OK, lets start the return process, I’ll drop it off at UPS and order from the real site — it’s cool. Only, it’s not cool. Since I ordered this from a third party seller, I am not eligible for a refund from Amazon without trying to resolve it with the seller first. WHAT? So I click on message seller and it’s “JellyRoo2.”
WHAT THE FUCK, AMAZON? I made sure I was ordering from the BigMouth store and shipping from Amazon — but you hooked me up with some bullshit third party seller? Why? How? Why didn’t I know?
So I go through the third party seller return process and now I have to package it, print my label, and mail it. Then, when they receive it and verify it is the correct item (hint: IT’S NOT) — I can have my refund.
Let’s call these motherfuckers because typing this has me riled up again.
I just got off the phone with Amazon. I wanted to know how my order went to a third party seller. She told me that I purchased a similar item from a third party seller. I said no I did not. When I click on the item in my order, it takes me to the CORRECT item and look — it says I’ve already ordered it! So this product is exactly what I ordered! It says sold by BigMouth and delivered by Amazon. NOTHING ABOUT JELLYROO2.
So we back and forth. I’ll back and forth all day. And after a while, she explains that sometimes if there is a low stock (in this case 4 units), you will be connected to a third party seller for that item.
So let me get this straight.
I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party. Without me knowing.
…
Let me say that again in like BIG FONT:
I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party.
So, here you have proof of me ordering FROM THE CORRECT STORE. In the first image, you’ll see it says “purchased twice” — that’s because I’ve purchased it again — from Amazon BECAUSE NOW IT’S SOLD OUT ON THE REAL WEBSITE.
See that? And when I move over and click the strawberry, you’ll see I purchased it:
So, yes, I purchased it correctly. From BigMouth’s Amazon front. Two items on THE SAME PRODUCT PAGE from the correct store. One fulfilled correctly and one diverted to a third party seller without my permission for fulfillment.
Ok. I just. I’m stuck on that. I’m stuck. Like. What the fucking fuck? And Amazon won’t refund my money until I go through JellyRoo’s return process. All they can do is guarantee that they will not connect me to a third party seller in the future. I don’t know how they’re gonna DO THAT. Is there a software flag in there about who they scam and who they don’t? Did my account get the “open to scams” box unchecked?
All she could say was that I had to go through the third party seller, they’re sorry, it won’t happen again. I asked if Amazon would return my money if the seller doesn’t. She said yes.
So…
FUCK AMAZON. FUCK THESE CHINESE SELLERS ON AMAZON. FUCK JEFF BEZOS IN THE ASS (unless he likes it like that, in which case make him EAT SHIT. Unless he likes that too, in which case send me an email and we’ll figure something out for that MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD).
Amazon has become completely overrun by chinese bullshit knock offs. And they don’t even care. And now, no matter how careful we are to order FROM THE MANUFACTURER, we might get the knock off anyway. AWESOME.
I know, I should post. But like, I’m still spiraling out of control with my perimenopause over here. My anxiety is off the charts. So much so that I had a stressful work meeting this morning and had an anxiety attack and took the afternoon off. Work is shitty right now and I’m not in the mind space to handle this clusterfuck. So I laid down around 1:00 and slept till 5:00. DAY GONE. Awesome. But I did need the rest.
So I was going to post about the bedjet that I bought. It’s fucking awesome. But you know what? I’m not cool. And I want to post a really good review of it to help people like me that were trying to get some actual details on that shit. So I need to get some pictures. Also, they’re sending me some more (free) risers because my mattress is taller and I’m using the cloudsheet. So that’s coming.
When, I was trying to research it, I ended up in the Reddit subreddit r/menopause. I read a few threads about it but still had questions. So I asked my questions. And while I was posting, I mentioned the Estroven my doctor recommended and asked if anyone had any experience with that. Well, that was a mistake.
Crazy people can’t make support groups with just other crazy people. That’s how cults happen.
Apparently, r/menopause is a bunch of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) evangelists and anyone who doesn’t immediately give you HRT is a shitty doctor who doesn’t know shit about the “current research.” Well, I mean, I’m 41 — I just got diagnosed, I don’t wanna jump straight into HRT. Maybe I’ll regret that later. Probably. But my doctor said to try a few over the counter things first. And I’m cool with that. I don’t agree with their opinion that you should use a telehealth doc that you can lie to to get it prescribed. Also, the threads about the hell of menopause and all the horrible effects are terrifying. Itchy ears? WTF? that’s a thing!? Like what are we talking, a contestant itch? Outside the ear? Inside? Does scratching help? How common is that?
So basically, it’s just a toxic cesspit and I had to leave that subreddit.
It reminded me of when I joined all the misophonia support groups. I found the constant focus on it and people bitching about it made it much worse.
I still would like info though. So I try googling about it, but there’s just a million differing opinions. And people selling supplements. And doctors have different opinions. It’s a clusterfuck. And I don’t see the point of trying to join anymore groups. The people seeking out these groups are the people like me — we’re spiraling out of control crazy people. And so then it’s a echo chamber of bat shit crazy woman demanding fake hormones and divorces.
I mean think about it. If you, say… worship Trump and feel like you’re being shunned by all your friends who say you’re crazy. You go online looking for solace and similar minded folks. All the sudden your in an insane echo chamber of Q-anon people and you won’t speak to your family cause you’re in some weird crazy Trumper cult now.
Crazy people can’t make support groups with just other crazy people. I’ll say it again for the people in the back. Crazy people can’t make support groups with just other crazy people. That’s how cults happen.
BTW, that’s why I loved my CODA group which I now avoid cause of that crazy guy. Is it a bunch of crazy people getting on zoom every Monday? YES. But we’re led and guided by a retired psychiatrist who points out our crazy.
To be fair, Doctors do fuck up — like a lot.
Though I don’t think a doctor would help these menopause groups because they don’t trust the doctors. Old (read MOST) studies say no HRT because increased bloodclots, heart disease, and cancer risks in some of us. Some studies say that’s not true. Some doctors say the better sleep and restfulness outweighs the risks to your heart because it’s helping you be more healthy in general. You know medicine, it’s always changing on what it says is healthy and what isn’t. Remember the fucking food pyramid? It was a foundation of carbohydrates. Literally. Breakfast cereal was in the FOUNDATION.
Also, I’m the first person to say don’t trust doctors. They tried to murder me when my gallbladder was going bad. The only reason I didn’t die was my underhanded squirrliness. I had a surgeon because of the gastric bypass surgery. So I made an appointment to see him. Sure it took a month or two, but that was gonna pass anyway. In the mean time I went to the ER three times and a specialist who said having my gallbladder removed was stupid. And another doctor that did an ultrasound and said all I had was asymptomatic gallstones. Meanwhile, I’m curled in a ball on the floor in the bathroom at work in pain (gallstone attacks — now we know). In FACT, that exact scenario was one of the ER visits. Work sent me to the ER.
Then I finally see my surgeon and he nearly kills me by poking under my ribs and is like holy fuck — we gotta do a liver biopsy on you ASAP. I agreed to LET HIM do that if he agreed to take my gallbladder out while I was under. Deal — that was Friday, Monday morning I had surgery. And what did they find while in surgery? Oh look, shes got internal gangrene. This gallbladder is literally dead and rotting. I bet if we pop that out she’ll feel better. THANKS GENIUSES. And do you know how risky having surgery with internal gangrene is? For real, I know someone that died from it (exploratory surgery). Because if the organ had ruptured during the surgery — well, now gangrene is all up in your abdominal cavity and you probably won’t be waking up. So even though I got what I want, fucker still almost killed me.
So I get it, don’t trust the doctors to know whats best. Get lots of opinions. But I also can’t listen these insane people.
Don’t come at me.
Also, don’t be insulted — not everyone in menopause and perimenopause will be insane. I understand. Please understand that I’m talking about people like MYSELF. I’m already on two antidepressants and an antianxiety. So anything that causes severe anxiety IS NOT GONNA BE OK.
My mom is dead, my sisters are bitches and all my friends are younger than me. So I HAVE NO ONE. And no one ever told me you’d go through some crazy 10-year reverse puberty BEFORE menopause. I’ve heard of menopause. I didn’t know it was this bad and I’ve never even heard of perimenopause! Fucking middle finger for living past child bearing age.
So that’s my rant. Bedet is fucking awesome though. Gonna review that IN DEPTH for my fellow hot sleepers.
Life: Purpose for the shit show?
Also, it occurs to me that that gastric bypass surgery has always been a big shame for me. Cause you know, I gained it all back. Then lost it with keto — gained like half of it back. So I’m still fat, basically. So it’s SO EMBARRASSING to say I had gastric bypass surgery. BUT BUT BUT
I just realized. Had I not had that, I wouldn’t have had contact and ability to get an appointment directly with surgeon. And had I not took it upon MYSELF (not a referral) to ask that surgeon to cut me open, I would have died whenever the gallbladder ruptured. He said possible two weeks.
So… maybe God had a reason there?
Interesting.
No, probably just still shit show.
Still, fuck hormones. Also, maybe if I didn’t have the surgery, the gallbladder wouldn’t have had issues. So who knows. Life is a shit show.
Sorry for radio silence. I’ve been real fucking depressed and anxious as hell. I believe that I mentioned my night time panic attacks previously? Well, here’s the jist: I’ve been waking up to panic attacks. Most I’ve been really proud of myself for getting under control. Counted breathing and smashing my face in the pillow to simulate a paper bag. Not that it’s as simple as that cause I start counting and I’m just counting cause I’m panicking and just speed running 1 2 3 4 5 6 1 2 3 4 5 6 likes it will summon a peacefulness fairy until I get it going right.
The other night I had a really terrible one. I couldn’t stay in bed. I was prancing around. No, I was not walking, it was more of a prance cause I was in PAIN. I bent myself over the bedroom couch (it’s MY nook) trying so hard to stretch my chest muscles open (can you get a charlie horse of the chest?). Then I was drenched in sweat and totally going to throw up. So I ran to the bathroom and hit the floor by the toilet.
The bathroom tiles were so refreshing and cool and I sat their by the toilet cooling off forever until the vomit feeling passed enough for me to leave.
Then I’ve been getting night sweats. Every. Single. Night. (The panic attacks are not nightly… As of now). Like husband is over there under the comforter burritoed in. Normally, I sleep with my beloved fuzzy blanket because it’s so light and airy. If I get too cool, I’ll pull the top sheet over it. But it doesn’t absorb sweat. So I switched to just the top sheet as needed. Keep in mind, I have a vornado fan on full blast, not 5 feet away, pointed at my chest/back. I’ve done the fan thing since Jack was a kitten. I started it to drown out the sound of him licking his ass while I tried to sleep. Kept it ever since. Though I have replaced it ONE TIME. I even travel with it sometimes when we don’t fly.
So now, every single night, I wake up drenched in sweat. If y’all have ever seen me workout or work in the yard, you know I sweat like a fountain. Once at CrossFit, one of the guys asked If I finally just dumped my nalogene over my head. I had not. So that’s how much sweat. Soaked through the sheets and you could ring out my pj pants. But there’s a fan blowing right on me and I’m soaked, so now I’m fucking FREEZING like I just got out of the pool on a cool cloudy day with high winds.
So I gotta take my pants off, but I can’t do anything about the sheet. One night I tried sleeping on a blanket so I could strip it off and then have a dry spot. I toss and turn too much so it got wadded up and I just had a wet blanket AND sheets.
So our yearly physical was coming up. I was positive I was hyperthyroid. My thyroid levels have NEVER been correct at my yearly. Anxiety, running hot? Hyperthyroid. gotta be. We fix it.
We go to the physical and I’m up first (husband and I do our blood draws and physicals together. We get twice as much time with the doctor!). It’s not my thyroid. My thyroid is perfect. I’m devastated. My doctor was like, yeah I was hoping too. How old are you? 41.
Perimenopause.
AHHHHHHHHH. WHYYYYYYYYYY?
You know the eye doctor said next time I’d probably have to get bifocals. And I’ve been balding for like 15 years and saw the dermatologist last month and he said this is as good as we can do. There’s not a higher dose to put me on. I just stay in this forever and be glad I’m not losing more hair.
Also, coincidentally, the other day I was reminiscing through old photos. Momma, Jack… I miss them. I was at 2019. Before COVID. Before mom died. Before the brain injury and 3 year trial. Before the huge weight gain of absolute despair at moms death. I looked good. I looked insanely younger. That was less than 5 years ago but I’ve aged terribly since then. I mean,sure, we’ve added boobs and a fucking awesome tattoo, but my god. Look at my face. Look at my eyes. I’m so old. And I read that you age faster after menopause. I’m fucked!
So that put me in a funk. I was feeling just so unattractive and fucked up. And now I’m approaching menopause!?
Jesus.
So I haven’t taken it well. I’m not ok with it. I’m hot. I’m not getting enough sleep and now there’s no magical pill to fix how fucking anxious I am! Like WHAT NOW, GOD? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
THIS IS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT.
THAT’S BULLSHIT, RONNY!
So. That’s my headspace. I fell so ugly and old and anxious as fuck. Like did you know my job sucks? Did you know my husband’s job is even worse and he’s basically clinically depressed at this point and I can’t do shit about it? Did you know his job just announced there will three rounds of layoffs?
Did you know that people on Reddit are wrong and assholes and will down vote you to hell? And that the city what’s happening page (no rules) HAS RULES. Cause I was just defending someone else who posted a bad review complete with pictures. Then the manager made a new thread to attack her and call her a liar. Then we all started going woah woah woah, a lot of people had similar experiences and posted photos in her review too. And she started antagonizing the original girl who left the review and said she faked the picture and then blocked her so she couldn’t defend herself. So that girl started a thread to ask if she was blocked or the thread was gone. So then we all hopped on the new thread joking about the insanity of it. We were having a great time and being jovial. Talking about favorite places to eat, loving crazy people drama, etc. and there were like 3 people I was conversing with and having a hoot. Then they deleted our fun thread and banned the original reviewer from the group. ON THE NO RULES PAGE. All she did was post a review and then defend herself! Bitch managers personal attack of her is still up.
AND BOEING IS ASSASSINATING WHISTLEBLOWERS!
And then I had an anxiety attack and went to bed for more night sweats.
So that’s how it’s going.
The doctor recommended some supplements I forget the name of. Probably gonna buy a $600 bed jet. But I need to buy a new salt cell and pay for the pool opening and I wanted a fancy aidirandack chair for the deck.
The correct touch sensor wire finally arrived from China. With that, I could finally finish my Sherlock Booknook. I was a bit nervous. Sealing it up meant I couldn’t keep tweaking it. It meant I couldn’t pop off walls for good photos. It meant calling it done. Finite. And there were still a few minor tweaks. I needed to fix the trap door. Cover where the battery opening shows in the hall. I could do that with the suitcase by the clock, but then what would I put where that had been to cover the glue spot on the floor?
It took a bit, but I finally dove in.
Why is the wire still barely long enough? I have a whole wad of light cords but this guy has to shortcut behind the staircase to reach. Also, wiring it up first meant that I couldn’t keep laying the top to the side while I worked…
It is FINISHED
Introducing… SHERLOCK THE BOOKNOOK.
Standing at a short 9.1 high x 4.3 wide x 7.1 inches deep, she is tiny. Her upper floor is less than 5 inches of ceiling height. She is tiny but extremely mighty in detail.
Notice all side have been customized to the show. With heavy coats of modpodge sealing everything. Finishing it all off is a lining or fine faux leather trim across all edges. So soft to the touch and nice clean sealed edges. Even a lovely cushioned leather edge to sit on. While the graphics, a show poster on the back and the opening credits scene on both sides, have been printed in black and white, I selected a brown 1/4 inch faux leather bias trim for the edges. This is because it wasn’t available in black. Or for other reasons you may choose to insert here.
A Conversion
As stated in other posts, this kit is a conversion. I don’t have the skill to start from scratch, so I chose a generic “Detective” Booknook (The Rose Detective Agency by Cutebee) to convert to reflect the amazing show: BBC’s Sherlock.
I fucking nailed it. Obviously, it is not Sherlock’s flat from the show. However, I like to think if Sherlock moved, this could be his new place.
Also note my elimination of the very generic “The Detective House” and flowers across the front. Fuck flowers, this is Sherlock. It has been replaced by a hand rolled clay brick facade. Did I need to cut and paint all those bricks individually? No. Would I do it differently if I were to do it again? Perhaps just making one piece and scoring it to look like brick? Yes. I would.
It is slicker and cleaner. I flipped the front plate to have the fancier steampunk bobble at the top. It’s better like this. Also, you’ll note yet another iteration of the chandelier to replace the “Detective” sign above the desk. We’ve had a few iterations, but we ended up somewhere good.
Baker Street
Let us start our tour at Baker Street. The entrance to Sherlock’s new apartment. Er, flat. In this kit, the upstairs is surprisingly sparse, but the alley is pretty full. I basically did what they did, just better.
I got out paint. Some flat wood items were replaced for fake flowers, sculpted broken clay pot pieces, a tiny plastic gun that would fit on a dime. Old wanted posters were replaced with easter eggs for the show and PlayBills. The address and road name were corrected.
There are few changes here from the last iterations. Both from seeing the side-by-sides in my last post. I trimmed the flower bushes by at least half. I also made the color a yellow cast in the alley. This really makes the hallway stand out and gives it a seedy criminal vibe.
For the yellow glow and the chandelier upstairs, I used the same technique. I took a small acrylic ring I had a pack of already laying around. For the chandelier, I printed stained glass and glued that along the ring. For the alley, I placed the ring in the middle of a orange cupcake wrapper and glued the edges up. Both are attached above their LEDs with hot glue.
The Hidden Hall
Changing the alley light to yellow, really makes the inner hall and stairs pop. There are a few easter eggs for fans in here too. I solved my battery door and stray sharpie mistake by placing a suitcase at the bottom of the stairs next to the umbrella stand. Happy Accidents as Bob Ross would say.
The hall table still has the package and letters Mrs Hudson left for Sherlock to retrieve. Including an ominous beige envelope with Moriarty’s red wax seal.
The Upstairs Flat
Here we reach Sherlock’s (new) main room. You’ll see I added a LOT to this booknook. It seems like the original is a bit sparse for a booknook. Also that chair is terrible. So lets look at mine.
The first thing you will notice is the comfy sitting chair for reading newspapers. Also someone’s newest interesting book, “The Mind Palace.” The newspapers are piling up because Sherlock can’t be arsed to clean. The table holds only a tiny hand gun in case Sherlock gets bored and wants to shoot things or needs to quickly call the police.
The next area you’ll notice is the desk in the corner. The pile of mail in front is where it falls as Sherlock enters his flat. It stays there until Mrs Hudson cleans it up, even though she insists she is not his maid. Lots of easter eggs here. It looks like Sherlock has “confiscated” Watson’s laptop again. Of course he has his trusty phone by his side and his skull to talk to (in spirit – I know, it’s just a print).
This iteration sees a much slimmer laptop. It still displays my favorite scene from Season 2 Episode 1 where Sherlock unlocks Irene Adler’s phone. It’s my favorite episode. Now that the box is sealed, a lot of the easter eggs can only be spotted by a vigilant eye from the clock cut-out above.
The secret passage is also fully functional. Where it used to lead to a medieval stone hall and wooden door lit by candle, we now have a city fire escape. You’re welcome.
If we look to our left, we see the dressing table and the entry door. This is where Sherlock chose to draw his new smile (in the yellow paint from the can of evidence in the Blind Banker, season one). Where it used to be on the wall, he still enjoys shooting it on the door when he is bored.
More tiny seed beads beads capping vials and a flask (made from beads) add a bit of depth to the flat shelving by his desk. The purple shirt of sex is represented in scarf form.
Lastly, looking to our right, we see Sherlock’s case board. He’s tracking Irene Adler, Moriarty, and is for some reason concerned about Mycroft.
Watson’s old medical cane is in the umbrella stand. Lots of easter eggs for a few shows here. The taxidermy bat moved from his fireplace to above the clock. I also spent a lot of time adding depth to this flat bookshelf. The bottom shelf I completely cut the books out to add depth I could fill. I capped the bottles with more seed beads to add texture. I also placed a few 3D books to fill the dark holes behind the 2D printed ones on other shelves.
That’s all she wrote!
So there you have it. I’m done. Booknook number 2 is complete! It was such a fun journey. I’m thrilled with the end result. I learned a lot too while doing this one. It was really fun to stretch it out and savor it with customizations and tedious little projects (baking and painting tiny bricks, anyone?).
I’m so proud!
Make sure to check out my previous posts on this build for fun details you might have missed.
Now that I’ve been gardening, I need to start cleaning up the deck. I mean, that lemongrass has to have somewhere to go!
We built the deck last year. The deck plus a professional paint job was like 8sih K. So, of course I asked how to care for it. I was told to give it a pressure wash every year and I should be solid. So, I need to pressure wash. I want to buy a powerful pressure washer. We have a big house. We have the garage, the pool deck, the wood deck, sidewalk, two stoops. I really want to wash the Juliet balcony and stoop ceiling. I did some research and decided to upgrade my price range to about 3 or 4 hundred, but I just got overwhelmed. So I just asked to borrow K’s pressure washer to get the deck done. I will try to get a good pressure washer during off season.
First, I discovered my deck is like a white car. You don’t realize how dirty it is because it just looks like a different shade of ecru. It was dirty. And I had to clean it like an inch at a time. It was far more tedious than I expected. I didn’t get the good satisfaction either. The red clay is not coming off. So the lighter the deck got, the more noticeable the red clay spots were. Ugh. Also, there’s been a ton of major construction behind us. A whole neighborhood. Right now the house that backs up to us is under construction. This means red clay dust.
I learned about that the first time we opened the pool after construction started. My pool cover is a very heavy thick mesh that lets no light through. But red clay was all over the bottom of the pool. Pool guy explained it was the construction. Well, now I see that that red dust gathered in the piles of leaves that say on the deck for months. So I really should be cleaning it in winter after the leaves fall. Live and learn.
I figured, while I’m out here, I’ll clean the stoop. Oh. My. God. Why is my stoop a whole-ass different color? I knew it was dirty — but jesus! So gross! I was horrified. Now I’m definitely buying a pressure washer! And where I went along the edge of the brick, I accidentally made lines on the concrete. I tried to blend them out and it just looks worse. UGH.
I REALLY want to do the pool deck now. But I want a more powerful washer so I don’t have to do it an inch at a time. Also, I’m not about to out that much wear on a borrowed tool. That’s a lot of concrete to clean.
The steps were not satisfying either. They were just disgusting. The top of the stoop was satisfying. Nice lines I could write in if I wanted. But, see, I thought the top of the stoop was clean. I always have a rug on it. So I thought it was clean. And it was NOT. So now I’m not satisfied or happy I washed stuff — I’m just disturbed. EVERYTHING needs to be power washed now. It’s not OK. But it has to be OK because I’m not buying one right now. I’m about to open the pool and buy a new salt cell to be installed too. And I want an adirondack chair. So it will wait.
Then, I spent half my Saturday dreading putting everything back on the deck. But Husband helped and we got it done. I finally hung the solar lights I was gifted for Chirstmas. Thankfully, I had enough to double over, because these lights were super far apart. So this is actually a doubled over strand. I’m also very happy with the posts I bought to raise them up above the fence. I wish I’d installed them at the top of the board instead of the bottom to get just a little more height, but they’re there now.
Also, I will say: These lights were tangled as fuck. I felt like Russ in Christmas Vacation. They had a garbage tie in the center… and yet, it did nothing. I literally had to walk along the fence and pull each and every bulb from the giant knot. Then when I went to test them, they didn’t come on! So I thought it must have been all the vigorous shaking and tugging of untangling them! So I left them alone and went inside to put pillow cushions on. Then I read the directions for the remote and saw that they won’t come on if there is any light present. They only come on in the dark. This picture was immediately after they finally came on:
Speaking of pillows… I bought pillow covers! My mom has gifted me many outdoor pillows over the years. Walmart always sells them super cheap. They’re $5 right now, actually. And I never had the heart to throw them away. One year was fancy browns with text that I didn’t care for a lot. One year was the flamingo and the watermelon “Sweet Life.” Then the last year was the Blue Flamingos. Those were my favorite but three summers after her death, they were very faded. And the watermelon straight up tore open. I actually considered painting over the flamingos to make them bright again, but I can’t keep every bit of mom.
Then, a thought occurred to me. I don’t need new PILLOWS. I can keep moms pillows. I just need COVERS! So I spent an evening browsing the internet for outdoor pillow covers. I’ve always had the pool in a blue and green theme. Then last year, I replaced the main pool umbrella with an orange one. So I wanted to keep my blue and green but bring in some orange. And here we go!
I got a super cheap 4 pack of the blue and green watercolor. They are actually all 4 different. They’re also not a great material, but they look awesome. Only three needed here. Then I just got a cheap solid orange with white piping. Oh. And the cat. COME ON — I couldn’t not get that dork cat. It’s fucking adorable. I’m sad it’s on yellow because that’s not in my colors, but I had to have that one. I like them so much that I’m getting UV fabric protection spray so hopefully they won’t fade so much.
I’ll also note the difference in everyone’s version of a 16×16 inch pillow case. The orange ones were pretty spot on. The blue and green, the pillow had to be curled over and forced in there. And the Yellow cat was HUGE. I actually stuffed him with pillow fluff to fill it out more. That will be the soft pillow for lounging.
Oh and I ordered bright green spray paint to refresh my faithful 8 year old cheap plastic adirondack chairs for the second time. Problem with those is… I like them on the deck. They’ve been on the deck all winter. In the summer they are across the pool by the tanning ledge. This is so someone (usually husband) can grab them to sit on the tanning ledge and not get wet but have their feet in the water. So I do need them there. However, I’d like to have one on the deck. So I might get a nice(er) one for the deck. Not wood — aint nobody got time to keep up with that. But maybe one of those thicker plastic ones that aren’t all flimsy? I like having somewhere to sit on the deck that isn’t a hammock.
So I spent a lot of time outside today. Mainly waiting on my lights to come on. I refilled the squirrel feeder. As I sat in my hammock chair — desperate squirrels kept coming by to check it. Then the Cardinal couple came. It’s a female and a male and they always come together to watch out for each other. Well, fuck — yall need some black sunflower seeds! So I filled it up and waited on my lights.
The Cardinal couple didn’t come back, but Carlton did! We call the big male cardinal Carl. Now there’s a much smaller male. So I call him Carlton. I left a little pile of black sunflower seeds on the concrete pad in hopes that the couple would come back. Carlton found it!
Excuse how terrible that photo is. It was at FULL zoom. I was trying to move very sneakily so as not to scare him (he didn’t realize I was in the hammock). So I had to slowly sneak the camera over enough to get past the fern.
It’s nice sitting on the deck and watching the wildlife. Carlton is eating seed there, and there’s a squirrel sitting on the feeder having dinner too.
