This morning we were idly chatting about Saturday morning type things. Husband asked me if I had heard that OJ died. I said no, but I saw this meme and I knew:
It’s so true. Let him go out in style. We were like the key age to remember this shit. I remember the trial VERY VIVIDLY. This was way bigger than Depp vs Heard.
Anyone who is sad about this shit can kick rocks. Motherfucker wrote a book called “If I Did It.” They had even filmed an interview for Fox called “O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.”
What a piece of shit. Also that Fox tried to pull that shit shows all their integrity. They did eventually air that interview anyway — so they never actually found any morals.
Putting this out there for all the fellow gardeners. seednerds.com is a scam. They present as a legit company based in California. They fooled me. I made purchase and was notified that I had made an international transaction on my credit card. This is the only indication I had that they were not CONUS.
I called the number to cancel my order. Fake number. I googled the address. Real address — I did street view — it’s a shipping warehouse.
Yeah, that is not an image of a “50-acre farm […which also…] partner[s] with local beekeepers to set up honeybee hives and with free-range chicken farmers to provide help with pest control and composting.”
I sent three emails to cancel the order. They just stonewall and ask for more information. After a few weeks, I get a shipping notice. So I wait for my seeds so I can return them. After all, they have a return policy:
I just need to email them and they’ll send me a shipping label. False. One, they informed me they moved their warehouse to china so I will have to pay to return them. OK, bitches, give me the address. Now I’ve sent six emails with continuous stalls and asking for more information and pictures. Pictures like this of seed packs with NO LABELS EVEN:
When I googled them back in early march, I didn’t find a lot of negative information. Now there is tons:
Please call us from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, Monday through Friday, Pacific Standard Time
IS A SCAM. FRAUD. FAKE. CHINESE ASSHOLES.
***********Update on my Lemongrass************
So out of the THREE packs of seeds I’ve ordered from people — ONE is doing well. The plants came up quickly but do not seem to be growing much — unlike the first set of fake lemon grass that shot up like… well, regular old grass. The third contender hasn’t sprouted a single plant. And obviously, I can’t even plant this chinese shit.
I fear I will not have nearly as many plants as I had hoped.
OK, I came here to post a review about cat hair cleaner. But I can’t I gotta talk about something else. Something bigger. Something fucking huge and infuriating and disgusting. I was going to post about it when I had time to reread the initial email and use quotes but fuck it — here we go.
First, yall know I don’t like people. People suck. They only give a fuck about themselves. But I don’t live in fear of people. I don’t expect every person I walk past to stab me, I just think they’re probably a selfish asshole or a dumbass until they prove otherwise. I’m actually a nice person. Despite the fact that I’m bitter and shit. I’m also southern. We’re nice down here. So let me tell you — when I got fucked over SO DAMN HARD this week, it was actually a shock.
Like, damn, I knew she was a bitch — but I didn’t know she was snake in the grass. What the fuck? Who DOES THAT? Bad people.
Like I know, my moral compass doesn’t line up with yours. But my moral compass is strong. I have values. I have rules you just don’t break. I have unacceptable. And this… holy fucking shit.
So. The Snake has come after me. There’s this bitch at work (previously “bitch” — now we’re out of curse word range. Like she has passed jovial words at this point). No one wants to deal with her. I only deal with her when I have to. No chatting. Just emailing each other questions to get the job done. We don’t work in remotely the same department or line of work, so we don’t even interact that much. I have no idea of her work location. I’ve never spoken to her over voice chat, phone, or in person. She’s just one of those people you have to deal with sometimes. And whenever you ask her a question, she’s almost always a bitch about it and says that’s not her job or you should already know or some shit. And she’s always blaming my group (of 2 — but mainly me) for shit to customers. And she’s rude as fuck to customers. Like this bitch is so rude, I’ve complained about it to my boss multiple times. And yeah, I have the receipts because some were in writing.
But everything was fine. Sometimes you just work with bitches and assholes. You just try to avoid them. You ask other people when possible. Or when you get a snappy reply you just forward it to your boss and ask for help.
Yall know I don’t give 2 fucks about work. Work isn’t my life. I don’t get my kicks and personal satisfaction from work. I just wanna do my job and go home. My boss knows this. I’m pretty positive I said it in the interview. So you know that I don’t have enough fucks to give to be mean to someone. One, I’m not mean. Two, I don’t shit where I eat. Three, I can’t be bothered. I just need the information to do my job so I can go home and pet my cat. And as far as I know, until this week, this person quite liked me. I COULD be wrong. I’m not sure when her attitude changed about me.
It might have happened early this week. She sent an email about some paperwork she’s corrected on the last 4 things I’ve submitted. My coworker was copied on it and gets in way earlier than me so there were already some back and forths on the chain before I joined in. So I get it and go — my bad, I’m a dumbass. I didn’t even KNOW there were multiple of that thing — I’ve literally been copying and pasting from the last one I submitted. Can you send me the different ones and what they are for? (Obviously the email was longer and didn’t curse).
So as is her normal, she responded with a bitch of an email. Like 4 paragraphs that started with something like “Mrs C, you have been on countless emails where I have sent blah blah blah blah blah. You should know blah blah blah blah blah. It’s not my job blah blah blah blah blah. I sen out an email months ago blah blah blah blah.” And never actually gave me the information. Just said I already had it and should know it. And she reiterated that she’s corrected it on my last 4 submissions and she doesn’t call people out on every little thing because she’s not that kind of person. She will only call someone out when it’s a repeated error and so they might need a better understanding of the process.
So I replied back. I did not curse. I was totally politically correct. And I was a BITCH. There were TWO “per my last email”s and one “per your last email” and one quote from her last email that I referred to as the “antithesis of helpful.” It basically came down to “per my last email, I’m a dumbass and never knew that there were multiple of that thing. Per your email, you only point things out when someone needs a better under standing of the process. I’m telling you directly that I need a better understanding of the process. Saying “blah blah blah blah blah you already know” if the antithesis of helpful. I will ask you again as per my last email, please send me the things and what they are for.”
And this isn’t in some vacuum. There’s at least 5 people on this email chain. So one of them pipes in with hey hey hey, lets step back and turn things down a few notches. Why? Because I’m never so rude and it was obvious (on purpose) that I was DONE.
***** Inserted later — oh an earlier that morning she had emailed my boss (without me on it) complaining about my charging overhead on my time card. She was super mean and spiteful and said STRAIGHT OUT that I should not be allowed to work without a direct charge code — even though she had literally started a email complaining about me doing something wrong that morning so she knows I’m working. And she DEMANDED an explanation. Well, my boss is awesome and this snake has no level to demand shit from her — so she COPIED ME in her 5 word response that she had already talked to X about it. So my email of politically correct direct fire also included that she knew, “from her curt email this morning about my lack of charge codes” that I was doing work for programs I was unfamiliar with and that’s why I didn’t know about the things. *****
Has anyone sent me the thingies or where to find them and when to use them? Nope. Still nope. Because that would be helpful.
So Wednesday, I go for an in person meeting. Before the meeting, I swing by my boss’s office to ask her about one of these submissions (new one). Like I said, I try to avoid asking the snake stuff if I can. So we discuss it, she’ll reach out to this other person to get the answer cause neither of us know. And then at the end, she’s like “hey, when this person if making you mad, let me handle it. And NEVER drop the f bomb in an email to her.” And I’m like OK. I curse a lot, but I never curse in email so whatever. Check, boss. And she says that she complained that I kept dropping the F bomb in emails which I suspected to be untrue but couldn’t prove right then. So then we went to our meeting.
So hours later, I get home. I immediately check my emails I’ve sent to her. Nothing. So I PDF every single email I’ve ever sent her and send it to my boss. I tell her I find it concerning that this person has complained about me twice that I know of and that I have not: 1) ever incorrectly charged my time or 2) cursed at her via email. I DID go through my entire chat history with her and had used two curse words (in a year, pretty impressive). I screen capped those two occurrences and attached those as well to be fully transparent.
(For the record, they weren’t AT her. One of them was me AGREEING with her that that was “fucking” stupid of them to do.)
Then, I message my coworker and tell them that this person is a lying snake in the grass! I checked EVERY EMAIL with her in the “To” line and not a SINGLE ONE had a curse word. I used advanced search functions. And coworker says “yeah, but at least we don’t have to deal with her as now we’re to copy boss on EVERYTHING”. And I’m like wait, what? She didn’t tell me that. When did she tell YOU that? And coworker says boss called. And something about a complaint. So I’m like wait wait wait — WHAT?
So I call my boss. Me and my boss get along great. I’m like um… what’s happening?
So boss tells me that snake sent an email to HER division director and my boss (who is my division director because I’m missing a lot of people in my chain of command — I refused to take the position of my own boss even though I could). So like she skipped from zero to overboard already by never saying anything to anyone and jumping to directors. So my boss is cool. She says “I can’t SHARE this email with you, but I can SHOW you it.” So she screenshares the snakes email to all these directors. (I screenshot it, don’t tell).
YALL. YALL.
YALLLLLLLLLLLL.
When I got off the phone I SCREAMED for my husband to come look at this. Not that I was screaming at HIM — I was just screaming because WHAT THE FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?
She sent an email as a victim. That she has sat on this overnight to think about before saying anything. But she’s put up with this for too long. She’s kept it to herself and only talked to AAA about it (*AAA loves my ass, BTW). She tried to ignore it as she’s a peacekeeper, but Mrs C has created a toxic workplace. She can provide “at least 25 emails” of Mrs C being horribly rude and hateful (or something, I refuse to go upstairs to read this lying piece of shit again). That no one should dread work this much and that it has come to where she comes to work in a state of fear. She used all the key words — harassment, fear, toxic work environment.
Coincidence that we had training on this like last week and she knows the supervisors are required to elevate this up the chain? Oh I think not. She filled that email with so much lies and bullshit and made sure to use EXACTLY the right key words to get my ass in huge trouble.
Snake came after MY JOB. Like FOR REAL. With an email of LIES.
LIES YALL. 100% LIES.
And my boss was ON the chain of emails that started this. And I had already sent boss every email I’ve ever sent this woman. I went through them — they’re all just questions. Mostly when I was super new and didn’t know shit. Absolutely ZERO kick back until that last email. And absolutely ZERO inappropriate language. So I’m like BOSS, you gotta forward that email to her director! I literally HAVE ALL THE EMAILS. If she’s going to accuse me of this, I want receipts! Tell her to provide those 25 emails! I give you full permission to send that PDF of emails out as proof.
Boss is cool and just trying to calm me the fuck down. She’s like don’t worry about this woman. If it was some other director, we’d have a problem — but her director knows how she is and I know you so we’ve already talked about it. Worst comes to worst, you’ll have to be sat in a room together with us and HR and hash it out. And I’m like “I can’t sit in a room with her and not call her a blatant liar to her face” — Boss says that’s cool as long as I don’t curse.
So now I’ve been in a panic since Wednesday. Like, my job is not at risk. I know that. My boss loves me and NEEDS me. Also, I have receipts. Crazy snake doesn’t have receipts. I also have receipts of emails I sent my boss complaining about this woman’s unprofessionalism. I wonder if she ever complained about me?
Like yall, I’m gonna have stroke any minute now. I can’t NOT THINK ABOUT THIS. Husband is like “you can’t fixate on this” and I’m like ‘WOULDN’T YOU?”‘ To which he says yes, and that’s why he knows how bad it is.
I don’t want boss to sweep this under the rug. I WANT this to go to HR and I want to go pay staples to print out binders of EVERY GOD DAMN SINGLE WORD I’ve spoken to this woman so I can collate and earmark it with colors and put it in front of everyone in the room as MY RECEIPTS and ask her to show where I’ve harassed her? Where I’ve made her “FEAR” me? I’ll even highlight the TWO times I cursed and sincerely apologized because, yes I was wrong. It wont happen again and wish she’d have told me it offended her. And I’ll use one color — maybe green? — to mark all the times she’s praised working with me and how thorough I am.
Do I need to sign up for the union? Seriously? Like am I being stupid thinking this isn’t HUGE because my boss has my back and these are obviously all lies?
But honestly, before I sent her every email in PDF format with assurance there were no “F bombs.” — boss probably believed her. Because I do curse casually. So she’s using this one truth — Mrs C is casual and curses a lot to wrap up this huge lie of my harassing her and making her fearful of me.
Yall, I CALLED coworker so we could speak off the record and prefaced this with, can we talk off the record as friends here? And told her ALL of this. She was APPALLED. She was like — “how can you create a toxic work environment when yall don’t even work together?”
I KNOW, RIGHT?
And she’s been on almost every email I’ve every had with this woman. None of them are rude (except for that last one when I purposefully owned her ass). She said that Snake is just mad that I threw her words back at her. She’s like an uncle I have — can dish it all day but can’t take a single bad word back. Husband had already said he same thing. And it is true — everyone knows how bitchy she is and just ignores her.
Yall, I’M DYING OVER HERE. I know people are pieces of shit. I know it deep down in my soul. But for someone to randomly just go from zero to threatening MY JOB? Holy shit. What kind of person ARE YOU? It’s like, man I’d be less insulted if someone pulled a gun on me to rob me. Like if you shot me, I’d be less insulted. Because on my morality scale, that just makes you a druggie that shoots people. I’d just take you to court and hope you got prison time. To to be so… slimy. So… disgusting. So two-faced. Just… wow. To just blatantly throw out a shit full of lies and threaten someones job because they hurt your feelings, I guess? I mean holy fucking shit.
This is why I curse so much yall. There is ONE VERSION of Mrs C. I’m never gonna surprise you. You’re gonna be like “yep, saw that coming.” Because holy fuck, these snakes in the grass. At least someone robbing a bank just owns that they are robbing a bank. Does this snake see how bad her actions are? Does she think life is just some game where you can be a “mean girl” and toss around such accusations at your whim? How can you do this to someone?
I can’t believe I’m so shocked that someone is a scumbag. Like Mrs C, you knew she was a bitch. But yeah, I knew she was a bitch, yeah. I didn’t know she was… THIS.
You know whats funny? He has now harassed ME. SHE HAS CREATED A TOXIC WORKPLACE. I’m now scared to email HER. How fucked up is that?
FIRST, let me start by saying THIS IS NOT FINISHED. It’s about 80-85% Finished. There are still some things I need to add and some things I want to tweak and change. I’ll talk about more in this post. The reason I had to pause was… The touch activate wires are too short to hook up. I was finalizing assembly last night, and yeah. It’s MAYBE 1/3 of the length it needs to be. I’ve contacted customer service to ask for a replacement. I hope they come through. If they don’t, I’ll ask M how to extend the wires I have. I’m fairly certain I can just snip them and insert a length of wire and connect to either end, but I’d want to ask and electrical engineer first.
This is a good reason that I might order from their website direct next time. Direct support. Even though I used their official Amazon store front, hey might not help me out. If I had ordered direct from their site they would. So yeah. Magical Pharmacy might be a direct order.
Anyway, for that reason, the project is on hold. It’s also at a good pause state. I can look at it and see what I want to tweak and change. I can ponder…
It’s not even fully assembled yet. If I sealed it, I wouldn’t be able to wire in the sensor. I also plan to completely redo the outside of the box and haven’t even decided what I’m going to do for that. It has to be black and white because that printer is much better.
In the mean time, I decided that since I can’t showcase it yet, I’d show you a lot of my edits by using side-by-sides of the original. I’ve taken all the original shots from the CuteBee website. Except for one that came from Amazon Reviews. I really want to show yall how heavily I have edited this kit. It’s a “6 hour” kit. I’ve spent days on it already. Maybe even 6. Most things, like the paintings and even the books, were printed on the structure, and I’ve changed most of that shit. So for those unfamiliar with this booknook, I can show you with these side-by-sides!
Move-In Time!
Last night, I finally got to work on the upstairs. The excitement was exhilarating LOL. I spent a whole night cutting paper just for this. I made tiny Amazon packages (there’s a quarter in that picture for scale). I made a laptop and cell phone from scratch. I spent hours image searching and shrinking newspapers, paintings, photos, envelopes, letters, folders, book covers. I went to Hobby Lobby with K for little bits. I ordered shit from Alibaba for gods sake. I’ve been waiting over a month to do this.
The time has come. I had already assembled all the furniture. Time to put it together and for Sherlock to move in!
Rather than follow the instructions and decorate the furniture before placing it, I placed everything first. I’m doing my own decorating so I needed to see how it flowed and where I wanted things. It’s strange that in the original nook, the chair is the center of attention. I expected that in mine as well. But it turned out the desk is the center of attention in mine. So good thing I did the furniture first.
Baker Street
You’ve mostly seen Baker Street from my previous posts. But you haven’t seen a side-by-side! The only new things since last post are the fire hydrant, the lamp post, hanging lanterns, and the walls being up. Oh and I changed out the weird old vintage note on the bench for a modern letter. I added a little forensics book too. OH! And I glued down the toy gun I got!
A few things to note here. 1) It’s a lame crime scene, I know. But I had to use what the kit had, remember? I’m editing a kit, not building from scratch. You’ll notice the flowers in the back are changed from wood to 3D. I already showed you the updated signage on the walls. And look at the difference the crime scene makes with with 3D stuff. I ditched the old-timey lantern too. My sculpted clay pieces and toy gun and flowers are killing the original.
Another thing. Do you see why I took so much time painting edges? Look at the original mailbox. The sides of the iron railing. LOOK AT THE FIRE HYDRANT. That fire hydrant is fucking adorable. Whoever designed that from 2D snap together pieces — fucking-a. Bravo. Well, done. But it’s more brown than red! You gotta paint the edges!
OPINION REQUEST: I want to make my LED less bright and more yellow like theirs. Any suggestions for what to cover it with? I was thinking wax paper?
The Hidden Hallway
Unlike the website, I can’t rip most of it off to photograph inside the stairwell, so I’ve done my best. Husband lamented that there’s so much effort and detail in there that you can barely see. But isn’t that the point of these? Tiny little worlds that beg to be explored?
I know, I already showed you the flowers and mail — but now you can see what it was before. Upgradde with a double D for a double dose of pimpin’. NOTE: It had a candle and a vase. I removed all candles from this build. They were everywhere. On the furniture, on the shelves. I excato-knifed them all out. Same as the street lantern. We’re modern now.
As with everything else, I had to replace all the pictures I wallpapered over. I wish I’d have saved the credits shot for the back wall. I found a few gorgeous London pictures and an adorable painting of a red phone box with a couple walking by with a red umbrella. Oh and I blinged out the frames in metallic paint. White cardboard my ass!
It’s All in the Details
This picture is to show you what difference a little paint can make. Look at their globe thing. Can you believe it’s the same as MY astrolabe? Yeah, no. Mines got metallic paint that makes it look like an astrolabe. Like the lines are there on purpose and not just because I made a sphere out of 2D pieces. The blue is also a shimmery blue with hints of purple in spots. I’d say the seed beads were for flair — but they’re recovery. This kit is pressed paper and I smashed the fuck out of the tip and end trying to get that round end piece on. HOW are you supposed to apply pressure to get them to snap together? There’s no where to hold or even put pliers! So I had to cut them off. I replaced with seed beads, Mine look better anyway.
I adore this astrolabe and typewriter. The typewriter was another case of too much brown from the edges. I painted it bright red. Then I was like… I have made a mistake. This aint a Kitchen Aid mixer. So I went over it with walnut stain. Perfection.
Stain, you ask? You’ll notice this throughout this thing. I bought a furniture scratch repair kit to do the edges. It was the cheapest way to get a ton of brown markers in a variety — plus I already started fixing some dings around the house. Bonus! I wish I found this before my husband noticed when I scratched the floor.
I obviously fucked this up at some point, and got stain on the front of one of the pieces. So then I had to stain the whole thing – cause you can’t wipe that shit off like paint. And I liked it. I liked it a lot. So every piece of shelving and furniture in this room has been stained over. It allows the under print to show though — but just looks less cheap. More real. And since it’s stain, it adds beautiful striations as long as you go with the grain the wood should have. I might get the black stain that came with it and go over some bits on Baker Street that I just did with black paint. So the shelves and stuff in my pictures look richer and darker for that reason, not photo trickery. Mines just better.
Let’s Get The Initial Shock Out Of The Way. THE FRONT.
SURPRISE! Now keep in mind — WORK IN PROGRESS. I’m still tweaking a lot. For instance, I already took stuff off the table by the chair because it blended in with my beloved mail pile too much.
So you can see my fucking AMAZING chair and footstool makeover. If you didn’t read that part, I used clay to sculpt it to be padded. Especially that pillow. Like don’t use that unmodded pillow yall. It’s taking away from the already bad chair. But I’m not done with it. I want to buy some clear matte-finish paint and make it not-shiny.
Deep in the background, you can see that I replaced the painting above the clock with a bat — like the taxidermy bat shadow box Sherlock has in the show.
There was also the case of that “Detective” sign. The kit is for a detective agency. So I guess he felt the need to advertise above his desk. I thought about making it white and putting “Consulting Detective” there since that’s how Sherlock introduces himself. But this is Sherlock’s house. He doesn’t advertise. I couldn’t get rid of it though because it’s a structure for an LED above the desk. So… A light fixture? I printed out some more modern options but went with an Applebee’s-flavored stained glass shade.
The only other thing I’ll note here is the colors. You can see that my brighter books, white paper prints instead of aged stickers, and color prints instead of old-timey black and white have modernized it just like I wanted. Old Victorian flat in modern times. I think I nailed it.
Sherlock’s Desk
I had so much fun with this area. I did not think this would be the main focus, but it totally turned into it. You can see I ditched a bunch of the kit’s stuff. The old phone, looking glass, feather quill, candle. Whatever that thing right behind his chair was. That’s where I put in a cameo for a pair of earrings. And next to the cameo is Dr Watson’s “A Study in Pink” which was his blog post of the first episode. With the skylight, you can get a good view of it and see the whole title.
We’ve got London A-Z which they used to solve the code in “The Blind Banker.” We got a laptop (yes, it’s too fat — but I made it from scraps of the kit and the pressed paper is thick). He’s got a whole bottle of brandy and an insanely tiny glass of brandy — they’re very shiny in person! He has has carelessly placed the glass on his papers which it has already stained. (Another happy accident, not on purpose. I had placed the glass on the desk and then decided it should be on papers. So I quickly pulled it up but the glue had grabbed a bit of the dark stain from the desk. Looks like spilled liquid around the rim).
Also, those papers were tri-folded like a real letter before gluing down. Of course, his trusty cellphone is there. The portrait of Arthur Conan Doyle is replaced with (a print of) the skull he likes to talk to that Mrs Husdon keeps hiding.
Hard to see at this angle, but there’s a stack of books shoved under the desk and one of his favorites leaning behind his chair.
Possibly my favorite bit of this build is the massive pile of deliveries and mail. Like he walks in the door and just throws it on his desk and it just piles there on the floor. He can’t be arsed to bother with his mail. And yeah, I made insanely thin strips of blue paper for Amazon tape but only used it on two boxes because it was a pain. But yeah, this is why I made all those envelopes. British envelopes and American ones with different colored stamps, some bills with prepaid labels, some colored cards. Perhaps cards from fans — perhaps little Kirsty asking him to find out what happened to the luminescent Bluebell.
Right Wall
Look, I’ve discussed it before – but god damn my case board is a masterpiece. The modern maps — the photographs of the characters from the show. The seed bead pins and fine thread tying it all together. And yeah, Jayne from Firefly is still there. And the little sticky note of Moriarty’s “I O U.” OK, this might be my favorite area. I’ve just had it around for longer. Now it even has the astrolabe, so yeah, it might be the best area. OK, it is. But the mail stack is new.
Note the difference the stain pens make on the furniture. I sanded down the cane and painted it to be Dr Watson’s medical cane he used for the psychosomatic limp he had before he met Sherlock. Can you spot River Song’s diary?
I love his pile of newspapers. He can’t be bothered to toss them when he’s done. I printed off lots of London papers to shrink down and fold up. Some are even under the stool, they’ve been there so long.
OPINION REQUEST: Should I add seed bead handles to the dark cabinetry?
Left Wall
I haven’t done the door yet. It was supposed to have a dart board on it but bleh. It also needs a door handle of some sort. I think I might do the spray paint smile that Sherlock did and shot up whenever he was angry. There was no where to do it on the wall paper, so I could sub the door. Only problem is he did it in yellow paint because it was the yellow paint they used as a clue in “The Blind Banker.” And yellow isn’t going to show up on that door. One option is switching the white and gold door for a black and gold door. It can’t be a color because I’ll need to use the better resolution of the black and white laser printer. And I can’t paint that fine detail on it. If I did THAT I could do it in yellow.
OPINION REQUEST: Black the door and do the yellow, or leave it white and use another color? If the latter, what color?
Then I’ll rough it up pretty good with the exacto knife like he’s shot at it a few times.
Oh and the purple scarf is there to represent the purple shirt of sex. If you were around when the show aired — Benedict Cumberbatch became a huge sex symbol. And when he wore that purple shirt — whoo, the internet was on it.
The Mail Stack
Just for funsies, the mail stack. It tickles me that some of the envelopes are First Class and he has no fucks to give.
Today was Louie’s One Year Adoption Anniversary! I gave him a new toy that he loves so much he already bit a chunk off. He got wet food for dinner. And we added his footprint to my leather journal of clovers and things.
We had to do the footprint twice because it smeared a lot.
Yesterday he went for his yearly vet visit. Jack never did regular visits until his last 3 years. After mom died, I took him to the vet to make sure I wouldn’t lose the damn cat too. And he was diagnosed with kidney failure. So for his last 3 years we did the vet thing — but that was out of 17 years.
For Louie, I just feel like we should do the vet thing. I’d feel bad not doing it. Perhaps if he gets kidney failure, we can catch it earlier. We can afford it. And he REALLY needed to go to the vet when I adopted him. I’m pretty sure he just has IBS. But we’ve finally got him on an expensive food that works for him (Open Farm). So he’s not constantly farting toxic gas anymore and having constant bloody diarrhea. His shit smells like toxic bombs, but I think the biggest part of that is that he doesn’t cover his poop.
His chin acne was terrible, but almost completely cleared up. I very rarely clean his chin. He has a lot of ear wax. I usually clean his ears every 2 to 3 weeks. He doesn’t mind it. So they did a test and he does have too much bacteria in his ear. They said my cleaning has been keeping it at bay. And since it doesn’t bother him, they said I could just keep doing that. But they recommended that I get a prescription ear flush and clean them once a week for a bit. Basically, the reasoning is that I’m keeping it from getting out of control, but I can’t actually get rid of it because I can’t get down deep in his ear. So an ear flush can actually cure it. The ear flush was only 17 bucks, so yeah, we’ll do it.
Oh – AND HE ISN’T FAT. There are some angles of pictures where he looks like a VERY chonky boy. And a few people have called him chonky. The vet said his weight was fine, just don’t let him gain more. He’s 12.3lbs.
So… YAY LOUIE! He’s still a catfish. I haven’t settled on his middle name. I kinda want him to be Louie Catfish C****. I also thought about using his original name as a middle name like Louie Milo C****. TBD
Then here’s a product by Big Mouth. I was looking at pool floats in their website and saw this. Like it’s a bit conspicuous for a hide-a-key. Like no ones gonna give the dead resin bird a second look…
Work on the Sherlock Booknook continues. Remember back in the first post? I’m using a Rose Detective Agency kit to make a Sherlock booknook. I’m gonna share the journey cause I am enjoying the HELL out of making little customizations. And what fun is doing it if I don’t show it off? And if you wanna feel like my husband, JOIN ME.
I was going to wait until the end to show it off. But 1, I’m taking a lot of time. 2, That would be a massive post. And 3, I can get better photos before the full assembly. So first, here is where we are currently. These next two pictures show that I’ve done most of the street and staircase area. Then I can go into details. This is… Like 3 sessions of work?
So in the above you can see the murder/case board — but I’m going to go into big detail on that in a bit. From the first post, you knew I redid the wallpaper. I’ll talk about the hall in a bit too. So you can see that I’ve made most of the street scene. I’m missing the fire hydrant and the streetlamp with the street sign. Those will come in later. Same with the hanging lanterns. I think those are the next step.
One thing I’ve been doing is painting the raw edges. The raw edges are brown because these are all flat pack, and basically 3D puzzles. So I think that makes a HUGE difference on the white parts (like the mailbox), and it makes the iron pieces in this kit better too. However, I did discover one really bad thing.
These kits are all available from multiple brands. They’re clearly drop ship items and some are better than others. For instance on Reddit, someone was asking about the same Garden House kit I made. Their instructions said to peel off the windows but they were confused because there was no film. Well, mine had film. She had the same instructions but a lesser quality kit. And on this one, I drew the short straw. This kit isn’t wood — it’s compressed paper. Now this has advantages and disadvantages.
Advantages: The pieces are cut great. Extremely fine details. Also, the clicking things together is more secure. Since the paper has a bit of give, the “female” connections/holes are not perfectly square. They curve in a bit so they can be stretched ever so slightly when you click it together. I might not have even noticed except for a few things. So far only two connections have failed me. When I put together the globe (not seen, it will come in later) — I totally smashed the end. The fit was too tight and I tried to force it. More obvious though is the railing by the door. So the right railing wouldn’t go in all the way. I pushed and tried my best. I used pliers to try to get the force straight down. And… the paper structure failed. It buckled. Had it been wood, it would have snapped — so I’m not sure that’s that big a deal — but still. Ugh. So I straightened it out to my best abilities — wood would have looked better glued back together. I just had to commit to both railings being a little further out than they should be.
Another huge disadvantage to paper. It sucks up paint like nobody’s business. I’ve been using a metallic gold that it doesn’t suck in. If you’re using black, maybe 2 coats will do. It you’re trying to get it white though — 5 coats minimum. The first two coats will barely show. I bought paint pens to do this and the white paint pen was worthless. Too watery. Made no difference. Just soaked it right up. I switched to acrylic paint. That’s what you see in the pictures. Look at the mailbox — that’s like 5 or 6 coats of white acrylic paint on the edges and they still aren’t a solid bright white. Same on the front of the stairs, ect. Still worth it because I don’t like the dark edges showing. I think it even makes a difference on the windows and door cutouts.
So you can see, I corrected the house number from 210B to 221B, because this is SHERLOCK. I cut a piece of wood and colored it gold to make a mail slot on the door. I know it’s stupid because there’s a mail box but I just didn’t like that the door looked so… suburban house? Nothing like Sherlock’s door. So I needed some gold detail.
The paper in the mailbox is printed newspaper I rolled. Better than their sticker. I replaced all the 2D flowers with flocked flowers made for train sets. HUGE difference. Like upscaled the look by 1,000%. For the crime scene, I replaced the flat wood flower pot bits with clay bits I baked. And it’s not in place yet, but instead of the flat printed wood gun, I bought TOY GUNS. Yes. I ordered two 1/12 scale toy guns for action figures. They were like 90 cents each with $6 shipping. On thought just now, I could have ordered more for future projects, but whatever. It’s not in place yet because I have 2 different ones and I haven’t decided which will be upstairs and which will be in the crime scene.
I didn’t change much about the investigation kit because I thought it was super cute as is. I did add a more modern envelope tucked in the lid. I also didn’t use the smokers pipe. So to fill in the empty space, I threw in a few seed beads. I used the seed beads for a few things. They’re on top of the police bollards and as a doorknob. They’re pins in the case board as well.
Speaking of case board…
OH MY GOD! I’m so chuffed. And yes, I’m using the word chuffed because I’m just so tickled with myself. So you can see on the left here, I’ve shown you the original — I had to get a snapshot from a youtube video so sorry it’s not great quality. As you can see, the wall was originally green and the case board — like everything else was dingy toned down colors. I did take a picture of the provided stickers so you could see them better. TELL ME THAT’S NOT JAYNE COBB (Played by Adam Baldwin) IN THE BOTTOM CORNER. You cannot convince me it is not. That might even be Mal above him.
Listen, this is ripped off chinese drop ship crap. You know they’re just stealing images. Hell, on the side of the actual booknook there’s a typo. That’s fucking Jayne Cobb and I LOVE JAYNE. He’s my favorite Firefly character so he TOTALLY made it on the board.
Ehem. Ok. So, the case board. Well, like I said — I’m going for the exact vibe the show had — old Victorian with a current person in it. So Sherlock would use color. He’d use sticky notes. He’d use Google Maps. So I’ve got a modern map of London, a Google Map of best sites to visit, and a map of the Underground. From the show, I pulled Mycroft, Moriarty, and Irene Adler AKA “The Woman.” And yall, I am just taking my time and having so much fun with this. So yeah, I added seed beads for pins. Then I used a set of tweezers to thread red sewing thread between them like a real case board. Pro Tip — I printed all of these images on a good quality thick paper (though my color printer, obviously doesn’t print to a great quality at such small scale). To make these images show a bit more from each other when overlapping, I ran a sharpie over THE EDGE of the paper cutouts. //Pro Tip
Then the next time I worked on it, I was like fuck it, I’m adding Jayne. I also added a little tiny sticky note “stuck” to the picture frame with the “I O U” Moriarty left. So I’m really excited about this case board. It looks amazing. It’s from the show. It’s also got a lot of 3D going on with the pins and thread and now the sticky note stuck on the frame instead of the wall. Oh and because my wall is black and white, I made the background a color so it stands out. I went with green.
So, you can tell I added a lot of my own printed elements. Here. The above image shows two of the pages I created. I scanned in the original sticker sheet and wall boards to get the scale. Then I put that in photoshop and just started grabbing all sorts of shit and shrinking it down to the scale of the sticker sheet. Some of them are multiple sizes so I could see what I liked best. So yeah, that’s how I’ve got all these tiny things, if anyone wanted to ask. You can even see all the book covers I printed in various sizes so I could pick the ones that looked best. (Books were already shared in part one).
I also changed a few more of the “old” Victorian bits. You can see here in the wall “pieces.” The secret door behind the sliding bookcase was like a medieval castle door with a candle — that’s a city fire escape now. Scotland yard was a kid lighting the lanterns by hand. That’s just a cobblestone alley now.
Another problem was all the old-timey notices and wanted posters printed on the boards for the street area. So I thought about playbills and theater adds. So I just googled “Playbill” and found one for “Cats” (me) and “Beyond Therapy” which I thought would be a funny joke. Those went by Scotland Yard.
Now that bit of brick with the windows snuck up on me. I didn’t see it so I had not planned for it. But, I had printed a few extra things for my murder/case board that didn’t get used. So you can see I used the same two playbills, but replaced the plays with the graffiti-ed painting from “The Blind Banker” and one of the books I printed called “The Mind Palace.” So more references to the show. I had also printed the bit of graffiti the people were finding before their deaths that was a big part of the “Blind Banker” episode. So I put that up too.
And yall, I’m so tickled. I found an advert for Benedict Cumberbatch staring in London Theater’s Hamlet. So fuck yeah I put that in there. (Benedict Cumberbatch plays Sherlock in the show I’m imitating here, for those not familiar with it). I had to put stuff on there to cover up the old shit anyway, so I used it to my theme advantage. And inside jokes.
So on the second night of assembly, I tweaked a few things. I took out the lantern from the crime scene and just covered that spot with more flowers from the broken pot. And I overhauled the table inside the window.
Originally, I put the table together as intended. It’s only seen though the window in the finished build, so why bother? I used the flat 2D flower vase and candle. But naw, we’re going all out — so I exacto-knifed that candle out. Now there’s more flocked flowers in the vase (I think the package I got had 10 colors. I mixed pink and yellow here because that’s Mrs Hudson’s space). And I covered where the candle had been with letters. Including one of Moriarty’s clues from “The Game” sealed with red wax. Oh and I made a tiny package. I know that’s USPS, but I don’t care. It’s an adorable little package Mrs Hudson left for Sherlock to pick up.
So the last thing I did last night was finish up this side wall and glue it to the main piece. As you can see, I had to replace the paintings in the stairwell that I wallpapered over. I used the shiny gold marker pen for frames, so I hope they shine in the LED when it’s lit. Do you see that picture on the left? Is that the scene in the BBC Sherlock’s intro? YES IT IS.
Last night, I woke up to a panic attack. You know you’re fucked up when you’re stressed out WHILE SLEEPING.
I have found a decent tool to help with panic attacks after a few decades. It’s the simple counting method. I chose 6. So beath in for a count of 6 and out for a count of 6. Repeat until not dead. Last night, I combined it with a variation on breathing into a paper bag.
I just looked it up, and breathing into a paper bag helps restore your CO2 balance which can get messed up when you hyperventilate and breath out too much. Interesting.
A panic attack mid sleep isn’t the best. You can’t lay still when you feel like you’re having a heart attack. For me, I always have to bear my chest because the first thing I feel is my chest muscles clamping down. At least you can lay in bed and cry for an anxiety attack. Husband asked why I did not wake him. You can’t hug pain out.
So I stretched sideways and upward to get my chest as wide as possible and buried my face deep in my memory foam pillow. Then I did the counted breathing. Well, it sounds like I handled it perfectly, but no. I tried the stretching and breathing and it wasn’t working. And I kept just counting but not breathing with the counting. Like just counting to 6 over and over again was a magic spell or something. Took a minute to get my wits about me and just smother myself until it eased up.
its nice that in my 40s, Ive finally found something that legitimately helps me in a panic attack.
Anxiety Attack: Give me hugs and I need a nap.
Panic attack: stretch, controlled counting breaths, maybe buy some paper bags.
Funny though, I got the counting technique from a Nintendo Switch YouTuber who struggles with anxiety. This is why we gotta share our experiences, y’all. 20 years of therapy and I’m using YouTube tips.
After finishing up the Garden House Booknook, I wanted to do another. I looked over the dozens of options. I narrowed it down to two. One I wanted to do for the details. The other, I wanted to do for the theme. I went with the theme. Specifically: Sherlock Holmes. So I got The “Rose Detective Agency” kit.
Now, am I going to allow all the generics to stand? Fuck no. It’s not “Rose Street,” it’s “Bakers Street.” It’s not 210B, it’s 221B. So if I’m gonna edit shit, we’re going in. We’re going BBC Sherlock. Because that was the BEST Sherlock. And I’m a huge Robert Downey Jr fan, but nope — BBC Sherlock. Benedict Cumberbatch. That’s where we’re going.
I obviously can’t completely remake it. I’d have to build it from scratch, and I don’t have those skills. But I can do what they did with the show. They didn’t take away the old Victorian Sherlock Holmes, they just updated it. So I’m doing that. I’m tweaking the kit here and there. It will largely be the kit, but with some upgrades.
For instance, look at this atrocious chair. It’s front and center. It’s so FLAT. Well, with a bit of clay and paint, I can make it better:
See? I couldn’t have made that chair from scratch. But with some clay and paint, I can overhaul it. I did good, eh? I impressed myself. And all the little books!
On the left, are the books that I haven’t edited. They came with the kit. On the right, are the ones I’ve redone. I wanted to add a few brighter colors and more modern looking books with the old — much like Sherlock’s flat. Do you see that first large book? London A-Z — that’s the book they used to solve the code in Season 1, Episode 2: “The Blind Banker.” A forensics textbook. The two pink ones are “A Study in Pink” — John’s blog of the first episode. Do you see River Song’s diary from Doctor Who? A joke on “The Mind Palace” and an actual book on the “The Smoker’s Dilemma” and the benefits of Nicotine. A joke on Sherlock’s nicotine addiction. Oh yeah, I painted the page edges white too cause I can.
Oh and did I spend the majority of my day using photoshop to remake the infamous BBC Sherlock Bakers Street Wallpaper? Of course, I did! And then, I meticulously cut pieces and used ModPodge to rewallpaper the flat in the nook. I was super careful to line up the pattern. What did you do with YOUR Saturday?
I’m having fun with it. I need to find more pictures and modern newspapers to replace the old school ones that came with it. I’ve already got some cool stuff for his case board from the show. Pictures of Irene Adler, Moriarty, Mycroft, modern London, a map of the Tube. This is fun!
