This weekend was supposed to be my blissful relaxation time. Four day weekend. Nothing needs to be done. Garage is clean, Both offices cleaned (I even spoofed up Husband’s). Garage and storage room — perfect. It’s too wet to rake leaves. I could put up the new ring camera, but I’ve got months to do that before the pool pump is on. So yeah. Fours days to RELAX.
Has it been that. FUCK NO. Meet my fans:
Yeah, those are industrial drying fans and a dehumidifier that have been running constantly since Friday morning and will continue to do so until AT LEAST 3:00pm on Monday when they come out and check on things. We had a washing machine incident. Downstairs is a stressful disaster. It sounds like Google’s server room and yeah, pieces of my floor and ceiling are missing. I will talk about it later.
Like, yall. Even the fucking cat is stressed the hell out. These fans are LOUD. We’ve all had to retreat to the upstairs. I live downstairs. I don’t like this.
But then, last night, we went out to a swanky dinner to celebrate K and husband looked so cute in his suit! And we got a great posed shot of my tattoo — plus I was looking hot!
I’ve also been working on my rock collection. I’ve added a few more specimens. And yes, I relabeled them all. Now the labels are all at the same level and straight. THANK YOU. I will also post more about this later. I’ve got a big Yooperlite coming in so yeah, there’s gonna be more rock pictures.
I did order more shelves. They didn’t have the distressed white anymore, so I had to order brown. So I had to spray paint them all to match each other. Which mean Walmart. Thankfully, I put out a call and K2 was willing to go to Walmart with me. We got three cans of Rustoleum white semi gloss primer and paint in one. Like one can extra.
No. No. I put the first coats on while they cut up my floor and ceiling. Then I had to run out to ACE before the septic people came to get TWO MORE CANS. Surely I don’t need two more? Yeah. Yeah I did. But they look awesome!
It looks like I don’t have room to expand, but I totally do. I liked it better with an extra vial on each shelf. Plus I mixed in some empty bottles to spread it out. I’m also going to acquire medium (2ish inch) specimens of my favorites. I have a two inch sphere of Yooperlite on the way. Then I’ve got my eye on some Petoskey stones. Then I want to get a natural uncut, UNDYED, Ruby that fluoresces. I’ve found two options I’m eyeing — click 1 and click 2. Obviously, the click 1 there is preferred, but it might sell out before I get to buying that one. I also want some peacock ore…
To really capture the excitement I have over these fabulous rocks, let me transcribe the text messages my three besties and K’s biologist S.O. got from me today: Ehem:
~~~~~~~~~begin~~~~~~~~~
“OH MY GOD. I got my rocks and they are better than I imagined!”
**Insert five more pictures of close ups of the various color groupings — ask if you want to see those***
“There’s three types of Obsidian and they’re so distinct! The Gold Sheen Obsidian doesn’t look special until you hold it up to the light and, well, gold!”
“And what’s the Blue Sand Stone that looks like GLITTER”
“Hematite is heavy as fuck”
“The Opal is so gorgeous”
“OH MY GOD, you have to come over so I can show you my favorites”
“Look at the glitter in this one!”
“This is genius marketing. Like, I know these are the chips that come off [when they’re] making those carved stone skulls and angels and shit. They took their scrap and marketed it and I AM HERE FOR IT.”
“Look at this Citrine!” ***Insert picture of Citrine***
“Look at this, it’s pure black when not in the light”
I suppose they are getting those hippy hits and all the Wiccans with this advertising, but some of us just like rocks, OKAY? Geology is fucking amazing! I can’t afford to actually own all of these beautiful stones. It would be an awesome collection though. It would also be a bit disorderly with stones of different sizes, and how would I label them? But when I saw THIS? Oooooooo ho ho. All the rocks in beautiful uniform little glass jars? Fuck yes. Give it to me.
Fucking genius marketing. Taking SCRAPS and selling them off. They just tossed their scraps in a tumbler (some aren’t even tumbled, actually — but most are).
The little jars are only 2 inches tall. I scoured Amazon for the perfect shelves for them. Honeycomb shelves! Are they made for Essential Oils? Yes. Fucking hippies all up in my shit. Husband gifted me the shelves for my birthday and they look great in my office! I even bought a cheap package of empty vials to set on the shelves (click for link. $8.99 I need an affiliate thing) — but I also plan to fill them with other things. Maybe other stones? Sand from Florida; Sand from Maine. Two are already filled with broken bracelets — one is pearls of different colors.
I arranged the rocks by color for the shelves. First black to white to browns:
Then the prettiest shelf is reds to pinks to oranges to yellow to greens:
Then flowing with the rest of the greens into the blues and purple:
Are the labels jank? Yes. Yes they are. I might fix them at some point. It would be a lot of effort. But I could get some cute tiny printable labels (maybe in silver or gold?) and print them. Then put them on STRAIGHT and at the same level all across. That would also cover the miscellaneous jars I add. It’s an option I am considering. I was going to shelve them with the labels facing the wall, however, I don’t know their names. I also want to show people my favorites. As you can see from the shelf pictures, the Gold Sheen Obsidian and Blue Sandstone are AMAZING in the sunlight, but look bland and black on the shelf. Same with the Garnet and Blood Stone (though it’s more the lighting in the picture for the Blood Stone).
So yes, I am THRILLED. I love them. Guess what else? I rearranged my office today. My desk was facing the window. Theoretically, so I could look out the window. But work let me borrow these huge-ass monitors and I see no window. Also, Feng Shui says you should face the door to be in a position of power.
So I rotated my desk. Now I’m facing the closet and door — really the closet. But, the closet is blocked by my monitors. Now I’m sitting right next to the window with a nearly full view of the pool. And to my left is my wall of happiness — including my rocks.
And believe it or not, I also knocked a big very visible work task off my list today. I fucking love my office. You know what I can do? ADD CAT SHELVES. Husband won’t let me anywhere — BUT NOW I HAVE MY OWN ROOM.
PS #2: I’m trying to change directorates (kinda like getting a new job completely — just less paperwork). If it works out, maybe they’ll let me work more than 2 days from home a week!
PS #3: On researching Blue Sandstone:
“Blue Sandstone (also known as Blue Goldstone) is a man-made stone made up of natural minerals (quartz sand, copper, gypsum and feldspar) Although this stone is man-made, its infused with naturally occurring minerals found in nature”
“Are you referring to the dark blue stone with a shimmering/sparkly star-like effect? If so, it’s also referred to as “blue goldstone” and a couple of other names.
This material is primarily silica glass. Some people make the glass from sand, which is why one name used is sandstone. The elements used change the colour; I think blue goldstone uses cobalt instead of the copper used in the brown version.”
I’ve been tasting the telework life, and yall, it is sweet. I’ve been given permission to work two days a week from home. So I chose Monday and Tuesday. Then last week, we were iced in and had to work from home all week long. It was fucking amazing.
I can sleep super late because I don’t have to get dressed or drive in. I can wake up and be on a meeting in 5 minutes. Does that piss Louie off because he has to wait for his breakfast? Yes, it does piss him off.
Also, I can be comfortable. I have a foot rest under my desk. I fucking love having my feet up. And no ones gonna creep up and catch me talking to myself or fucking around or just looking like shit. Plus, I love my office! It’s the board game room. I added some shelves to move the books off of the game shelves and sprinkle in my own things. And I love my shelves of nick-knacks!
Today, I did some more obsessive tweaking of where everything goes. I wanted to make room for my yarn stash for crochet. I have a ton of yarn for the never-ending Christmas blanket, plus the leftovers from other projects. I moved around the books too. I rearranged the crappy mis-matched books by height and it looks much better. And I moved some shelves around that were stuff before and made them books so the stuff is more spread out. Don’t worry. If I need more space, I will not hesitate to buy another cheap Target shelf.
Yes, the pillow is on the floor so Louie has more room in the chair. He was crowded, OK?
I love my office. I love stuff. Stuff stuff stuff. I’m a stuff person. I mean do you SEE The Professional Leon-Mario crossover down there waiting to assassinate someone? Lord Concord, Star Trek Figures, my Mini Masters Jayne? All my Witcher books, that was an adventure! Notes from mom, photo booth photos of Husband and I. And my precious Penny Arcade Goombas I traded for at PAX! I got that little orange elephant keychain with mom when I took her to the chinese lantern festival at the Botanical Gardens! D & C were there and we ate at the Highway Kabbobery food truck while we watched a live martial arts play in the grass. Baby Yoda is wearing my wedding tiara that I’m wearing in that photo there — the famous texas hair photo of my momma.
There’s other stuff in there too. There’s the giant stuffed blue shell K2 gave me on the game shelf. And my desk has a sweet Bob Ross bobble head circled with the glass worry beads mom brought me back from Greece. Also the Goomba Fate sent and a special edition Funko Pop set of Crowley and Aziraphile. Plus a fake succulent with a tiny goomba tucked in the center. Like a wheres-waldo but with goombas.
I even have a light up cat ball that K gave me for Christmas. I had to plugged into the monitor and yall, I’m so stupid. So I have two huge new government issued monitors. I plugged the cat ball in to one. It happens to be the one that just won’t be turned on by the dock. The right monitor springs to life every time, but you have to turn the left one off and back on again for it to recognize it has a signal. The power button happens to be by the cat ball. So I noticed the cat ball turns itself off after a while — nice feature. Also, it appeared to detect motion to turn itself on as it would come on when I put my hand near it … to … turn on … the monitor … that it was … powered by … Ooooohhhhhhhhhh… I’m dumb.
Anyway. I have a JOB INTERVIEW Friday! It’s still government so it would just be a simple transfer with barely any paperwork. I could get away from my clusterfuck team! I bet I could be more than 2 days a week at home too! I HOPE I GET IT. And that it doesn’t suck if I do get it.
I have an office now! I’m very excited about it. Back when I worked from home at my last job, I bought a desk on Facebook Marketplace. I just shoved it up against the window in the guest room and turned the bed sideways to make it work. It worked but I did not like it. It was nice that Jack slept on the bed behind me though. But I hated the bed looking terrible being sideways and the desk shoved up against the curtains that I had hung and even installed pretty adorable globes in.
Most people at my current job work from home. You have to come in at least one day a week. If you want to keep your desk, you have to come in three days a week. I haven’t had a ton of work to do, so I haven’t wanted to work from home. But now that I have a steady stream of work, I filed the paperwork. I still want to keep my cube space at work, so I’ll be working Mondays and Tuesday from home. I did last week, but only half days as I had in-person meetings both mornings. So tomorrow is like my first day from home!
Check out my office:
This room was always the “game room.” When we moved in, we put those old three shelves in here and all of our games and books. When we got a king sized bed, we put our old bed in here and made mom’s room mom’s room and this room the guest room. Well, we don’t need two guest rooms, so I asked husband if I could make it my office. He said I could! So K&K came over and we moved beds!
I don’t have to have my desk scrunched against the window now. I added some short shelves and bam! I bought that stuff organizer you see on top of the shelf by the window. I gathered all the miscellaneous electronics and bits all over the house and gave them a home. All the wires, battery backups, chargers, ipods, earbuds, adapters, wireless speakers, camera zoomy things, old tablets, USB drives, chromecast, Sphero — organized. You wanna see something extremely satisfying? Check this out:
Isn’t it beautiful? I just want to stare at it. Look at that organization. It pleases me greatly. It’s smaller than a book. But holds all my cables. Why do I have 5 short USB type B cables? No idea. I’ve got USB extenders, Audio extenders, USB C wires, plug adapters, various other adapters. A whole junk drawer of wires in perfect alignment. Yes. Praise Jesus. Look, here’s the Amazon link. For $10 it is SEVERELY underselling its usefulness. They’re selling it for travel. No; sell if for junk drawers. Those are your people.
That shelf also has all my boxes of cards and some miscellaneous bins I got from cleaning out moms rooms. It’s an organization shelf. Giving homes to shit that didn’t have homes before. ORGANIZATION.
As I said, this has always been the “Game Room.” We call it that because it’s where we hoard our board game collection. With my addition of a few more shelves, I was able to get all the books and other junk off of these shelves (except for my craft bag of junk there on the left). So that gave me room to spread the games out and actually showcase some. Like the out-of-print Formula De that I ordered husband from a chick in England. I like how on the top left, I stood up Cat Lady and Leaving Earth (with a rocket ship). I told husband that’s me and him. Those puzzles on the bottom were mommas. The doors one hasn’t even been done. It was her last Christmas present.
So these shelves are where it kinda becomes MY office. First, let’s get the inflation comment out of the way. That shelf in the middle? Same shelf from the same store. Cost more than the others but shrunk in depth and height. Yep.
I had to move all the miscellaneous books over here and I thought it would look like shit. Especially because I also gathered up the sprinkling of books we had all over the house (Husband is a reader). I think I did really good though! And now I have a place for my favorite tchotchkes! I’ve always been a fan of making my work desk homey and comfortable. But now that I have MY OWN OFFICE, I could bring some home. Obviously, most of them stayed at work (Like my voodoo Dammit Doll). But I brought home my favorites that are more valuable that I’d be heart broken if someone stole them. Like the Good Omens Pops you can spy by my monitors in an earlier picture. Here we also have a Star Trek homage with a RARE tribble. That’s right, that red headed bastard was only available as a loot crate exclusive. And my Mini Masters Jayne Cobb figurine! He was a gift. Oh and my goomba on top of the Witcher books. Also this is the only place Grogu (Baby Yoda) has ever made sense. He’s a damn good quality toy. The sculpting is top notch. I just never had a place for him. He looks great here!
There’s a magnetic dry erase board on the wall with a few notes from momma. Oh and those are battery operated candles. There’s one lit in that blue Moroccan lantern. I have a plan for the wall too. I have my Amazon wish list stocked with some hexagon shelves and some gemstone jars.
I love me some pretty rocks. This is a cool way to have all the gemstones but affordably and orderly and labeled!
Don’t those look gorgeous? 49 different gemstone types in adorable little 2 inch apothecary jars with cork tops! Don’t you think they’d look so great lined up in some little white beehive hexagon shelves? I do hope someone will get them for me for my birthday or Christmas. I’m a little worried no one will gift me the GORGEOUS gemstones because they’re advertised and sold as witchcraft supplies. I’m not a witch, I just really like rocks, OK? Also if White Howlite really does tell negative energy to “fuck off” like the lady at the tattoo expo told me, how is that bad?
“Full disclosure, living “rent-free in my head” is not exactly the real estate windfall it’s been made out to be. That neighborhood has a TON of issues.” – Jonathan Edward Durham
It was a rough month, yall. You ever just get so much shit that you stop complaining about it. Like not to my husband, but like on Facebook and stuff. Cause it’s like — it not even funny at this point. I’m just getting frustrated. That was my July. But spoiler alert, I think we’re looking up for August.
OK, let me see what I’ve already posted. Wait, we got the deck in July. So it was not all bad. It got bad after that. I love my deck! Has it only been a month? We’ve gotten a lot of use out of the deck actually. When K and K2 come over, we end up snacking or drying off on the deck and there’s just so much ROOM. It’s very nice.
So July 16th, I was proud of myself for kicking ass. So yeah, maybe only the second half of July sucked. But I can tell you this is where it went down hill. I know this, because I mentioned finally getting around to addressing some laundry that had sat in the dryer for 2 weeks. I was not lying. When I wrote that post, I was freshening the clothes to get them put away. That did not happen. Those clothes did not actually get put away until last weekend. A full two weeks later. So yeah, I had laundry I washed a month ago that had not been put away. By the time I put it away last weekend, it was three full loads of laundry that needed to be refreshed in the dryer and I was fetching my underwear from the laundry room. But you know what, I got it ALL put away last weekend and it felt wonderful.
Then July 17th, we start seeing the shot show pop up. We had already addressed the salt cell for the pool. It WILL need to be replaced but we’re gonna wear that fucker out first. I ordered a small salt tester online that I can use since my readouts aren’t reliable anymore. I should test this evening, actually. So having the pool guy come out and check the salt cell meant unscrewing some PVC connections and such. PVC that’s been in full blast south side sun with no shade for 7/8 years. So, yeah, a few days later that connector gave way and the pool just gushed water in my yard until the lawn guy notified us.
I did get the pool guy out to fix that. It was about $150. He replaced the connectors and some of the PVC that he had no choice but to replace. Not all of it though, so there’s still some old shit out there. Pools running. AWESOME. I also foreshadowed my own life there by talking about adding shade “in the future” when we replace the pump. JINX, bitch! Oh, and yeah I did get that replacement battery for the security system and get it installed.
By July 20th, I had a migraine. This lasted about 2 weeks. I’m still kinda struggling with lingering small headaches at the end of the day and beginning of the day. For the most part though, it’s better. I tried Nurtec twice (you can only take it every 48 hours) and then called the neurologist. He prescribed me another rescue medication. The nurse explained insurance was going to be a bitch, so they give you a free card to get your first script while they work out prior authorizations and stuff. That’s nice! I mean it’s nice in the way that it’s a crack dealer saying the first taste is free, but I like free. Problem: the free card only works if your insurance agrees to cover the medication. Because why give you a free script if you’re never going to become a customer? See, crack dealers! My insurance wouldn’t do it because it wasn’t on my “formlary” or something. So I couldn’t even get the free first refill. Motherfuckers. The medical system and ALL insurance is fucked. It’s just fucked. That’s all I can say. Fuck, yall.
Then, the pool stopped working. Turns out the pump had gotten too stressed by running on low water and now it’s russian roulette (Fuck russia, I’m nope capitalizing it on purpose) of whether it thinks it’s overheated or not when it runs. If it thinks it’s overheated, you have to reset the breakers and hope it comes on in a good state. So it kept failing. We were going to have to replace the pump. The most expensive piece of pool equipment.
Oh wait wait — this was after a week of freak storms too. Like bad even by Alabama standards. Global Warming is really fucking us up, yall. It’s only going to get worse too. So in one of those storms, a whole-ass-tree in our front yard fell over. Yep. Just uprooted itself and laid the fuck down. And the storm continued. We have dead trees in the back, I was sure more were going to fall so I was just watching through the window. Thankfully they did not. However, that old rusted pool umbrella snapped in half, expanded in the wind and torpedoed my plants. Broke my planters feet, fucked up my coleus plants and killed half of my lavender plant.
Now since this tree didn’t fall on any “structures,” home insurance won’t cover it. I just paid for a DECK, a pool pipe repair, I’m about to buy a whole-ass pump (we’re getting to that), and don’t forget I splurged on Prime Day to get some things we needed and could save a few hundred on. So I’m broke. And there’s a god damn tree in my yard. Thankfully, my angry self got out there with a hedge trimmer and took off enough of the top that we could get down the driveway without a problem. And we don’t live in an HOA who’s gonna bitch at us about it. So I post on Facebook that I need someone to cut up a tree.
I had like 60 replies. Ton of people offering to come get it… for hundreds of dollars. One guy offered 650 and I politely told him to go fuck himself — my reply got 5 likes. What they did not understand was that I don’t want some bonded, insured, tree cutting business. I want a motivated redneck with a chainsaw. Listen, I know hiring someone without insurance is risky. But that’s why I have Homeowners insurance right? That’s what I told myself. Cause like yall, it’s already ON THE GROUND. You’re not cutting a tree DOWN, you’re just cutting it up. I called the city and they do bulk pickup as long as I cut it up myself and don’t contract the work out. Yeah sure, I’m gonna hire a friend to do it. It’s fine. Just get it to the curb.
So for days, I field just way too many people. Trying to get SOMEONE to do something about this massive clusterfuck on my lawn. And don’t forget — I’m having a 2 week migraine during all this and have already missed 2 days of work. The first two guys who came to look at it couldn’t handle the job. Then some guy on NextDoor says he’ll do it for $175. Well, that’s too low. So I told him I’d do $200 if he got the tree and cleaned up after himself and $250 if he can get the stump.
Yall, the man that showed up had a face tattoo under his eye and a very small chainsaw. One that apparently didn’t work so he left. For days. And I’m a fair person. So I gave this job out in order of people who contacted me with reasonable prices. So the fair thing to do was give this guy a chance. He had to order a part for his chainsaw. So he called 3 days later (when he said he’d have the part) and said he didn’t have the part, but he’d buy a new chainsaw. I tried to convince him not to because I had a good offer from a company who was gonna do the roots and haul away, but again, I gotta be fair. He says he has some other trimming jobs so he needs a new chainsaw anyway. Alright, stoner man, keep going. So over the course of a week, he cuts up the tree and piles it by the curb. His job was also made insanely easier by a redneck (THANK YOU) who came by and wanted free firewood. That guy took everything that had already been cut. So stoner didn’t even have to haul that heavy shit to the curb cause the Redneck took it all. I’m cool with that.
His tiny chainsaw couldn’t get the roots and trunk out of the ground though. So I gave him his $200 and God speed. So I contacted the company who offered to do the whole tree and haul it away for $150. I sent them a picture of just the stump remaining and ask how much to come get this. Motherfucker says $400. I’m just… what? The whole tree was $150, but since it’s just a stump, now its $400? Like I’m confused as to if this was a bait and switch scam I avoided or if they’re just trying to rip me off. WTF? The next quote I got was also $400.
Fuck all yall. I don’t live in an HOA so here’s my new yard decoration! Maybe I’ll paint a target on it and get some throwing axes. Or just buy an axe and wail on it when I get angry. It’s staying for now though!
So back to my pool pump problem.
The good news is, this Hayward pool equipment is easy to get parts for. You can order them yourself on Amazon. They’re like the opposite of Apple. So pool guy informs me we won’t have to buy the “wet half”, we only need to replace the half of the pump with the circuitry. So it won’t be quite as much. Awesome. Go forth and let me know how much that will cost. Bad news. In 2019, Hayward discontinued this pump. We have to buy a whole new pump. For $1800. And that’s the wholesale price the pool guy can get it for. And he feels so bad for me (plus I already paid him for all the PVC connection repairs) that he isn’t even going to charge me to go buy it and install it for me. THANK YOU POOL MAN. It was actually closer to $1750 but I rounded the check up the $1800 because if he wasn’t awesome, it would have cost a lot more than $50 to get him to even come out here, much less run an errand and install shit. Thank god for good business relationships (He’s been our pool guy go to for 7/8 years).
So yeah, had to get a new pump. Pools running again. We gotta shade this equipment like NOW. Husband doesn’t want a sunsail on the side of the house. But you know what? We can’t afford to build a structure right now so this is what’s happening. I get K and her boyfriend to come over the next weekend and we dig some 2 foot deep holes in my yard and install some 4×4 posts for sunsail anchoring. God bless reliable friends that will dig holes in your yard for you. Like, it’s invaluable. It’s just.. thank you.
A week after the concrete set up for the posts, I hung the sunsail.
Then we had a pool day and evaluated how well it was shaded. Well, since the pump is on the far edge of the pad and the sunsail is curved and not square… it was only shaded until 12:30. Fuck. We hung the sunsail as far over as we could. So we, K and I, discuss options. We need a curtain on the west side to shade it the rest of the day. OK, I order another sunsail. Now, I’m planning to get THAT up this weekend. And I am EXTREMELY proud of the plan I’ve come up with the make this thing look decent AND cover that curve fully. I’ll post pictures when it gets done.
But is the July dumpster fire than depleted my whole damn savings account over? Nope. While I was installing the sunsail, I got bit by a horsefly. I literally didn’t even know we had horseflies. I’ve encountered these bastards in Maine, but never here. And the ones in Maine are small. No, I got bit by this bastard:
The Black Horse Fly (Tabanus atratus). Yeah, it was fucking huge. And it bit me right in the middle of my tattoo thru the long-sleeved rashguard I was wearing!
“They are fast fliers despite their hefty size. Females feed on blood, and they are not averse to taking it from anything that has it. Their mouth parts cut open flesh, allowing blood to ooze out. They use a proboscis to sponge up the blood, leaving behind an open wound. These wounds can become infected, which poses a threat to livestock health. They are also very painful bites for humans. Males do not bite and do not drink blood. Males actually drink flower nectar and spend their days looking for females to mate with.”
FUCK YOU. But by that description, doesn’t it sound like the males just want a nice date to bring the chick flowers? Like that’s sweet.
So I was super anal not to scratch this thing. I can’t be messing up my tattoo. It bit me right below Jacks bowtie. Had it been anywhere else, I’d have scratched a crater out of my arm to get that thing out. It was itchier than Satans asshole. It bit me on Friday and I had a allergic reaction. By Sunday I was concerned enough to start tracking the rash to see if it was spreading:
Yep, it was still spreading. So Sunday, we have a great day with some friends (Barbie movie — loved it). I go get my groceries and I ask the pharmacist if there’s anything a doctor can give me for an allergic reaction to a bug bite or if I just have to suck it up with anti-itch creams. She says I should go get a steroid shot. Awesome. So I look up Urgent Care and it closes in 40ish minutes. I call and they stop accepting patients in 6 minutes. Well, FUCK ME.
So I went to Urgent Care the next day before work. The doctor is like “it looks infected. Is your skin normally this tight?” Well, I don’t know the exact density of my underarm flab, so I touch it and jiggle it and then touch the other arm and jiggle it — no you’re right, my whole arm is swollen. I thought it was just the bubbly mountainous mound around the actual bite. And yeah, it is red and warm but it didn’t hurt. It was just really itchy. So she gave me a steroid shot and a prescription for antibiotics. She told me if the rash wasn’t gone by that afternoon, do the antibiotics.
So damn good thing I did because I totally have cellulitis. In fact, Monday night, I rolled over on my arm and it was so painful I couldn’t sleep the entire night. I considered not even going to work Tuesday. So Monday and Tuesday were painful but it’s easing up. I still can’t sleep on it (which sucks cause I’m a side sleeper and that’s my default side). But it’s getting better. For a bit of Tuesday, I was afraid my fucking tattoo would rot off. It’s fine though. Now that the mountain is gone, there is just a little scab where it bit me. Even if that scars, it’ll probably just look like a freckle or something in the tattoo.
So wooooo. Yeah. July. Oh wait — I forgot. Louie got out. The night I did the sunsail and the monster tried to kill me. I was out so late that it was too late to cool off in the pool. So I was going to go straight to the shower instead. So on the way I grabbed a package off the porch. Louie snuck (sneaked?) out. And I mean SNUCK OUT. I watched the Ring footage. He was no where near the door when I opened it, then when I bent down for the package he hightailed it past me and down the stairs — all behind my back. Like I don’t even blame myself after seeing it on camera.
So I go take my shower. I’m getting some dinner and getting situated and I see Louie’s fat white ass at the door! OH MY GOD! I thought he was just hanging out under the bed or something (remember, he’s not a snuggler and doesn’t come when you call. He doesn’t even sleep with us). So I panicked. I thought he’d been out there for God knows how long begging to get in. And yall know we live on a 4 lane road with a speed limit of 50 so people are driving way faster! MY BABY! I felt awful. I was terrified. He was wailing like crazy and I was apologizing and I gave him wet stinky food as an apology.
While he ate his apology dinner, I watched what went down on the Ring cam. Thankfully, he never left our stoop. He was out there for a little over half an hour. He explored the stoop and found a frog to play with. I think we can thank the frog for him not running off. He was having a ball torturing that frog and pouncing it when it would leap away. At one point, the frog made it down the stairs and Louie picked it up in his mouth and brought it back up and deposited it back in front of the door for more hell. THIS is why I saw Louie’s fat white ass at the door. He wasn’t begging to come in, he was playing with the fucking frog.
So he wasn’t crying and distraught when I brought him in. He was regaling his great adventure! He never tried to get in. He wasn’t distraught. He just got to go outside and play with a frog and then I gave him his favorite dinner as a reward. It was like his best day ever!
OMG this month killed me. Now Louie has to be watched like a hawk near the door. The other day I cracked it enough to set a poweraid out for the guy mowing the yard and Louie dashed out! I tried to dash after him, but had only cracked the door and stubbed TWO TOES.
I mean. Fuck. That’s all I have to say.
Oh AND Wednesday husband texted me and work to tell me the AC was broken. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Thankfully a breaker reset fixed it after we climbed in the attic to see it wasn’t frozen. We hope. Dear God.
Yall. Since we built the expensive BEAUTIFUL deck, house stuff just keeps popping up! We’ve had a lot of rain recently so I took a pool sample to the pool store to get it professionally tested. I needed some acid anyway. Well, actually I had ordered some acid and put it in the night before. We’ll get to that. They showed my salt level as way off from what my sensor was telling me. So I asked if it needed to be re-calibrated or something. The guy didn’t know shit, so whatever. I asked about the Ph because I put acid in the previous night. Long story short, I looked at Amazon to verify what I ordered (because it did seem more fine than the acid I usually use) and I had ordered Ph PLUS. The exact opposite of what I needed to put in. So yeah, I bought a huge bucket of acid so not a worthless trip.
I called my pool guy about the sensor being off. He said the salt cell might be dirty or nearing end-of-life which is usually about 6 years. Well, this is our 8th year. So awesome. Thankfully, I panic searched and a new salt cell is only about $1,000 when I thought they were $6,000. Still not good. Pool guy came and he said it is near end of life, but it’s still working fine, only a little off. I asked him about the pool store results. He said the pool was probably just super diluted from the rain when I got my sample. I don’t buy that, but OK. Also, I ordered an electric water tester for salt and Ph levels. I asked him if I should replace the salt cell. He said I should wait until next Spring or just wait until It dies completely. Which was great news! And he didn’t even charge me for coming out since he said he was on my side of town anyway. I love pool guy. This was twoish weeks ago.
Today, I’m in the office and I get an automated call from the security company. These are always a nightmare because I screen my calls and the robotic voice mispronounces everything so the transcript is insane shit. However, I recognized this style of insane shit and picked up in time to request a text of the info. My security system sent out a low battery signal. So I call the company and ask whats up. She just reads me the error message. Yeah, I caught that. Where is the battery? What kind of battery does it need? She said she can forward me to the service department. OK. She forwards me to the exact same number I just called with the same options. So I choose request service this time instead of customer service. I have to go through all my info. Phone number? Address? Name? Security code? Whats the problem? Yeah I see it sent out a low battery signal. I KNOW. Where is the battery? It’s in the system box. It’s a metal box. OK, what type of battery does it need? You’ll need to look at it to see.
I’m gonna admit, I’m pretty pissed about this. I’m not home. I need to know what battery to buy. I didn’t install this system nor do I own the components. They installed it and I kinda rent it from them. Shouldn’t they know what system I have? Shouldn’t they be able to look up the system components? So I ask if they can just send me a battery. She says they can, but it would be cheaper to get one at Lowes or Home Depot. Again, this is stupid because I don’t even own this shit.
So husband had been texting while I was on the phone. Turns out, here at home, the security system was going nuts. I tell him the problem and ask him to look for the battery. Surprisingly, he does. Usually, he would tell me he’ll do it later or tell me I can look when I get home. But he sure did go get a screw driver to look. And this isn’t the kind of stuff he’s great with. Also, there’s a lot of “metal boxes” in that closet. It’s like our wiring hub for everything in the house. So it wasn’t in his first box choice. Fail. Turns out it was in his second choice! A big ass battery. So he sends me a picture of said battery.
It is not in stock at Lowes, Home Depot, or Walmart. I’m not too disappointed because I really didn’t want to go to any of these places anyway. So I ordered one online. It’ll be here Saturday. I pray the security system doesn’t go nuts every day until it is replaced.
Then I get a doorbell ring on my phone from my spiffy new Ring doorbell. It’s the lawn guy. We don’t have a mower, so we pay a guy to mow our yard. I figure he wants his check. So I call husband who is at home. He doesn’t answer. I assume husband must be napping and text lawn guy that I can be home in 15 minutes to get his check (I was about to leave work anyway). Then husband calls and tells me that lawn guy says one of the pool pipes had burst and is gushing water. WHAT THE FUCK? NOT MY POOL! So I tell husband how to shut off the pump (he has never touched the pool equipment. That’s my area) and rush home.
Yep. One of the connectors to the salt cell that was cleaned 2 weeks ago has completely fractured. Our pool equipment is facing South and gets burning heat in full sun all day. So it does a number on the PVC and shit. The connector had cracked completely and come undone. So I ask lawn guy if this is where the water was coming from. It was. I fire it back up to verify. It won’t get suction. Probably because the pool has lost 3 inches of water and is now below the skimmers. So it’s pulling air from the skimmers, not water. *Sigh*
I gotta go to the grocery store anyway or I won’t have lunch tomorrow. So I text pool guy a picture of the problem. Thankfully he calls me and says he can just replace that connector. I ask about the pipes because lawn guy thinks we’ll need to replace the whole section of pipe. Pool guys says we just need a new connector and he probably even has some laying around. He’s going to try to come over tomorrow and replace it. However, he works all over our region so he really has no idea where his job will take him tomorrow. I told him if he can’t make it, let me know and I’ll go buy some shock and dump it in the pool. I can’t have a freaking algae bloom or something because I can’t run the pump.
So I’m thinking when we get a new pump (it is inevitable), maybe I’ll build some shade over all that equipment. It would probably be good for the equipment. Also, I get sunburned almost every time I’m over there cleaning it. It’s in direct sun and hot as fuck. Then I thought — that sunsail was cheap as fuck… what If I just get a little sunsail for the side of the house? It was kind of a joke but I really thought about it while I was in the shower and I’m seriously considering it for next year when we get the new salt cell. It wouldn’t need super high posts like the one for the deck so I could install those that myself with some friend help to dig the post holes. I could totally get a little square beige one just to cover the equipment. Hell, If I got a longer rectangle, it could even cover the downstairs HVAC unit. Might be good for it too…
First, let’s get this out of the way. I have clothes in the dryer I haven’t put up for two weeks. OK, onto the good!
Saturday, I got our new Ring camera up and going. I was very pleased with myself. I’ve missed having the camera. I’ve meant to replace it because they are 1,000% worth it! So when they were $100 off for Amazon Prime Day, I had to pounce. I’m super happy with the improvements to the Ring Pro too. Here’s what I had to say about it on facebook: “This is a newer version than I had. I’m pleased with some of the changes (over 7 years). There is far less packaging, for one. I also like that they don’t include all the faceplates anymore. That was so wasteful (my previous Ring Pro came with 4 different colored faceplates). You can still order one free faceplate, but now you don’t have that waste. They also include a wedge mount now, which nearly everyone needs (I bought a different one not knowing). They also include the pro power kit with it. Previously, this was an add on that nearly everyone needed. It was free, but you had to call customer service to troubleshoot and find out you needed it and then wait for it to arrive.”
Sunday, I got some more cleaning done in the garage! I’m super proud of myself for having finally collapsed all the huge boxes that were pilling up in there. So this weekend, I immediately collapsed the huge ladder box I had delivered, AND broke down the TV box since it’s warranty expired last year. I put ALL that cardboard in my car so I could get rid of it. I listed it with my old wheelbarrow on facebook market place and got rid of it all today! I was able to move around the “gardening and tools” area in the garage too. Lots of leaf blowing. Looks so much better. I also took the long broken hose reel off the wall. There just needs to be a hose pot in there. I’ll get a nicer one for the deck and move that one in there eventually. Clean garage makes me happy. Only area left to clean is my stained glass desk.
Speaking of the new ladder… I had to get it out to the garage. So I figured, why not use it to put the cap on the sunsail post before I put it away? So First thing this morning, I did it. I climbed up HIGHER than my 6 foot fence on a ladder! It’s still not painted (and won’t be until it’s had at least one month to dry out). It will be painted brown like the fence. But even with just the cap on top, it looks a lot better.
My new ladder is heavy and a little unwieldy. A lot of Amazon reviews complained about that. But if my 254lb ass if going to climb up a ladder, I want it to feel sturdy! Was it a pain? Yes. Do I hate climbing ladders, hell yes. But once I got to the height I needed, I was pretty comfortable up there. I didn’t feel like I was going to break the ladder and die. So A+! I even had to climb higher than the bend joint! So I feel like when I have to paint it, it won’t be the end of me.
The sunsail is already ready for a bit of tightening but I have no idea how I’ll be able to access the ratchets since they’re not at the anchors, but in the middle of the wires. I think I’ll text my neighbors and see who has a giant A-Frame…
REVELATION! A few hours after writing this, I had a look at the post and looked at the pictures from the previous post. It’s such a pretty deck. And I realized — holy shit. So I have a ladder that can now easily reach the mount points when we need to take the sail down for winter. The problem is, the ratchets are in the middle of the lines. So, like, we’ll need an A frame to reach those. And someone will have to be standing on a ladder with two hands doing the ratchet. UNLESS! I can take the corner down — take my time to get it safely shortened, and then rehang it! I’M A GENIUS!
When we built our pool, we did the regular concrete surround (a certain allotment comes with your pool installation). To fill in the rest of the fenced in area, we used a 2-inch rock mix. (Maybe it was bigger than 2 inches?). We have regretted this ever since. What a fucking terrible idea. They didn’t put anything under the rocks, so weeds just grow right up through them! And in the Fall, all the leaves and crap fall and it’s near impossible to clean out. Even if you spend hours with a rake and leaf blower, it has never looked 10% as good as when it was first installed (It did look wonderful when it was first put down).
The weeds are murder. There’s nothing to do for them. I’ve tried all the home remedies to kill them. For 7 summers when we clean the salt cell with acid, we dump the bucket on the rocks. Fucking morning glory vines still grow there! (In fact, there’s a little morning glory growing there right now peaking out under the new deck stair). The only thing to kill them is the purple Round Up. And that shit’s a hundred dollars a bottle (The purple is much more concentrated than the others). I mix in even more concentrated than the instructions call for. This takes about 2 weeks to fully kill shit. But you know what? It’s still there. Now it’s just brown.
This year, as they were opening the pool (I have a pool guy come remove the safety cover and start it up for me — then he comes back in Fall to close it), I sprayed Round Up. It was nice having someone out there to chat with while I worked. Problem: Poison Ivy. This is the first year Poison Ivy has shown up in the rocks. And I am INSANELY allergic to that shit. I can’t even be around when people are doing yard work because the oils in the air will get on me. So even though it’s been dead for two months, I can’t even weed eat to knock it down. I just call that corner the “Corner of Poor Unfortunate Souls” now. So that really put an impetus on the whole “we need a deck” thing. Anyway, so here’s the before:
That picture is actually it looking really good. That’s after I did the first Round Up and killed everything off. I even already have my plants up on the stairs. I specifically took this picture as a “before shot” when I found out we were building a deck. As you can see, I had to move all the stuff that was over there so they could build. Also worth noting, this square is the WORST for weeds. It must have the perfect combo of sun and water because it’s usually solid morning glory (that’s what you see already coming back under the gutter spout). I actually think it looks so good because I had put down a rug/mat and put my hammock over there. As seen in this post. I love my new hammock. So it didn’t get enough sunlight under that huge mat.
Anyway… this is what it looks like NOW:
Just LOOK at all that usable space! It’s HUGE. It’s something like 21 feet deep and maybe 23ish wide? As you can see, we not only went over the rocks, we took it all the way to the stairs so there wouldn’t be a weird concrete “alley” there. Here’s some side by side before and afters:
They did AN AMAZING job. We had discussed doing the rock square and then cutting over to the stairs — like an “L” shape. But look how he built it out like a giant rectangle with the corner off. It looks so much better than having it cut back in an “L.” Also creates even MORE usable space.
You know, I never realized that we didn’t have a ton of space around the pool. It’s always been fit for needs. When we have parties, we set all the chairs up around the tanning ledge half circle. That’s where everyone puts their stuff and everyone congregates. Now though, this is amazing! We had family over for July 4th and I got out 5 folding chairs to put out and brought over two more umbrellas. Plenty of room:
The other day, K and K2 were over and K2 and I were eating lunch — she sitting by the hammock and me in the hammock chair. K was laying out on a pool float. We still had tons of room for people to join us. Hell, that rug/mat is a 9×12 foot rug!
I also moved my plants off of the stoop and onto the deck. I didn’t think they made the stoop look crowded before, but now everything looks so much more… spread out. Nothing is crowded. There’s SPACE.
And yall, those rocks don’t count as space. You can’t walk on them barefoot. You can’t even really walk on them in flip flops. They’re just too painful. So my hammock chair has always been on the rocks, but I had those four concrete stepping stones to it and under it so you didn’t have to walk on rocks. Now those stepping stones are by the deck to get to the gate.
It’s so amazing to just walk out and sit in the hammock. Even if I don’t want to get out the hammock pad for the super nice full size hammock. I can sit in my hammock chair for a few minutes after watering the flowers or something. It’s just so luxurious compared to what we had. It’s so NICE. Like we have a gorgeous pool. Premium Hydrazzo aggregate finish — gorgeous tanning ledge — full width stairs. It’s a damn nice pool. Now we have the space to spread out by it to match! I mean the rest of the rocks still look like shit, but don’t look over there. You can just walk around. Hell, even after I empty my skimmers into my bucket and go to toss the leaves over the fence, now I don’t have to tiptoe over rocks to do it. I just step up on the desk and toss it over the fence. LUXURY, Yall.
I even got a weatherproof storage box/bench for my hammock pad and a few chairs (also the mosquitos coils and stuff goes in there). And do you see the beautiful sun sail!?
So Husband asked how we would shade it. I said eventually, we could get a sunsail. So I pulled them up to show him what I was talking about. Holy shit, why are sunsails so cheap? That sunsail there is 20x20x28 feet with a full three year warranty for $65 (Amazon link, now it’s $60 plus 5% off). So fuck yeah, we went ahead and bought one. We went ahead and had the builder install a 6×6 anchor post on the other side of the fence and hang it for us. Now, I knew he’d do a good job hanging it – better than I could hire anyone else to do it. He used 9 inch bolts to attach the anchors to the house where the second floor floor-joists are so it aint going anywhere. Now, did I know he was going to charge $300 to hang that sail (in ADDITION to the $300 to install the anchor post) — NO. No, I did not. But anyway — moving on.
I was actually going to get grey or beige but when I asked Husband what color we should get, he said a bright one. Weird for him, but OK! And I LOVE IT. I think it looks fantastic. I’m so happy with it. Unfortunately, due to the curvature on the sail to keep it taught, it’s not actually nearly as big as a perfect 20x20x28 triangle would be. However, where the full sized hammock is remains shaded all day from sun up to sun down. I did not get a waterproof sail because of wind and tiki torch smoke. Mostly tiki torch smoke. If you know, you know. So when I saw that it was just a lightish weave, I was afraid it wouldn’t be shady enough — but it totally is! It says it blocks 95% of UV rays and I believe it. It’s so nice laying in the hammock and looking up at the bright teal and hearing the pool bubblers.
I moved my plants out there too. They had been up on the stoop by the door. They look so good against the dark fence! The bright colors of the coleus really pop! I put the fern by the stair to kind emphasize that stair edge there. I’ve since added a lavender plant from Publix and a tropical looking plant from the nursery. No, I don’t know what the tropical looking plant is. It’s cool and has big leaves. It’s tropical. Speaking of, tomorrow I need to remember to drill a drainage hole in that plant stand. It was full from the rain this week.
But yeah — my deck is AWESOME. I’m so happy about it. I’ll have to get up early this weekend and enjoy my hammock before it gets too hot. Sunday should be great for a pool day! Maybe husband will come sit in the hammock and read to keep me company for a bit?
I’m told to give it at LEAST one month to dry out before we finish it. I’m going to use a sealant/finish combo and make it like a greige color. Have to protect the investment! That shit’s expensive.
Oh, and I didn’t want to pay to move my pool filler’s shut off valve. Because, why? The builder was like, we can just move that. I was like no. I’m not paying for that. So we made a cute little trap door in the deck that you can pick up to access the shut off valve. I currently have a spare key on the pool fence in a lock box. I’m thinking of moving it to install it on the bottom of my trap door. Just for funzies. It’s like a little secret.
We’re building a deck for the pool! I’m so excited! Like, I’m so excited, I think I’ll clean up the chair hammock and give it’s wooden bar a paint refresh. I’m gonna put both hammocks on the deck so when K2 falls asleep in the new one, I can chill in the hammock chair.
And I can have lots of plants ’cause I can water them with the hose now! First on the list is lemon grass! It keeps mosquitoes away. I can only find tiny little lemon grass plants. But when you see pictures, you see big bushy bunches of lemon grass. How do I get that? Do I have to seed it in Spring to get that? Is that a next year thing? I’ve got a big ass pot so I could have a huge bush of it. Maybe even drop a tiki torch in there! Yeah! I asked on nextdoor if anyone has any lemongrass to spare.
Lavender is supposed to be good for mosquitos too (good meaning, they don’t like it). My first priority is keeping mosquitos away from me.
